23—Shards

The crisp evening remains relatively peaceful and undisturbed by the yellow moped's trek as it rumbles along the smoothly paved asphalt. In stark contrast to the previous night, when it had ripped through the streets like a relentless hornet in pursuit of fleeing prey. With one hand, Fujimura guides their return trip, and with the other, she holds the young girl, Shizuka Itchi, seated safely in her lap.

Given the pace of their trip, a leisurely jaunt, the skill required to both keep the vehicle steady and the child in place is minimal. Though the vehicle rumbles softly, the sound is not so much that casual conversation could not be had, yet the young girl seems to have slipped into another bout of speechlessness.

Concerned, and for just a moment, Fujimura glances down at her curled up form and sees that her eyes have slipped closed, and that her chest rises and falls gently, in a predictable, rhythmic pattern.

Sleeping, huh?

Seeing her restful state, the teacher shows a warm smile, returning her focus to the road and seeing their brief trip through to its completion.

By the time they've returned, the hour is sufficiently late that everyone at the Fujimura residence has retired for the evening. With Shizuka slumped gently over her shoulder, the Taiga of the residence enters quietly, supporting the girl with her free arm.

No light casts through the halls and the rooms beyond, aside from the ambient traces pouring in from the outside. The sparse illumination proves convenient in that it doesn't disturb the child still deep in her slumber, yet less so as the teacher must take care not to stumble in the dark.

Despite this minor impedance, she's able to navigate her home, to the room where Shizuka's bedding has been laid out. Carefully, she leans forward, laying the girl down on the unfurled futon and resting her head against her soft pillow. Still stooped low, she takes care to pull aside the blanket, drape it over her, and tuck her into it. As she works in the last bits of loose blanket, her lips curl up in a forlorn smile.

Poor child. I can't even imagine what this day has been for her…

Wiping at her eyes some, Fujimura stands slowly, careful to avoid making any unnecessary noise. She turns toward the door, then creeps toward it, away from Shizuka, to let her have her much-needed rest.

It will take time for her to recover, I'm sure. No one gets over this sort of thing in a day… But I hope I can help speed things—!

Deep in her thoughts, she doesn't notice until she's reaching for the door. Not until she feels the firm tug on her dress from behind, and casts her startled gaze back and down over her shoulder, does she realize the girl has either been feigning sleep or, despite her best efforts, has woken up in the past few minutes.

Still holding the teacher's dark green skirt pinched between her thumb and forefinger, Shizuka tilts her head back, looking up with her unsmiling gaze and wiping some of the leftover sleep from her eyes.

Brief though it is, initial surprise shows through in the way Fujimura's eyes widen, and her mouth narrows into a small circle. Seeing the girl's face, that surprise yields, her face relaxing and warming with a kind smile as she kneels down and gently pats the girl's head, running her fingers through her soft hair.

"Itchi-chan, it's okay for you to keep resting."

As kind as her smile, her words also come in a warm, soft tone. Despite this, Shizuka slowly shakes her head, causing the teacher to tilt her head and arch her brow.

"Aren't you still sleepy, Itchi-chan? I know it's been a hard day for you…"

Just as slow as before, Shizuka nods her head, confirming Fujimura's observation.

"Then you should lie back down, right?"

Silently, Shizuka again shakes her head, this time almost defiantly, then buries her face into the teacher's green dress. Utterly perplexed, Fujimura scratches her head.

I don't know what she wants… Maybe…?

"Would a glass of water help, Itchi-chan?"

With her face still hidden, she gives a hesitant nod in response.

Shizuka quickly quaffs the cool glass of water Fujimura prepares for her. She also consumes her own, then sighs out contentedly, reaching down to take Shizuka's now-empty glass to set into the sink along with hers. She then looks down at the girl with a warm, almost motherly smile.

"Feel better?" she asks, and the girl looks up with an unsmiling face and nods. "That's good. Then let's get you back to bed, alright?"

The teacher makes her way back toward the guest room, with Shizuka still clinging to her dress. On the way, they pass by her own room, and she pauses there, realizing something.

"Ah, Itchi-chan, this is my room, remember?" She points at the door. "So if you need anything tonight, you can come by and ask, alright?"

She smiles down at the girl, who stares at the door fixedly. Taking her attention as confirmation, she moves away, down the hall toward the guest room.

Or tries, at least.

Feeling a tug against her dress, she stops again, looking back to see the girl rooted, still gazing at the door.

"Itchi-chan?" The girl doesn't look her way, and just keeps staring at the door. "That's my room, okay? We need to get you to yours, alright?"

At that, Shizuka looks over at her, then gives a slow head-shake, leaving the teacher dumbfounded and shaking her head.

This would be so much easier if she'd just…

She frowns down at the girl, folding her arms, trying to puzzle out what exactly it is she wants. But her guesses can only take her so far, and it seems better to ask. Despite her hesitancy to speak, she at least seems willing to communicate her wants and needs.

Thoughtfully nodding now, Fujimura kneels to the ground in front of her, determined to get this sorted out before her own tiredness overwhelms her.

"Okay, Itch-chan, are you tired?"

She nods.

"Did you want to go back to sleep?"

And again.

"Then we should go back to your room, right?"

To this, she shakes her head, frowning.

"So you're tired, and you want to sleep, but not in your room?"

Another nod.

"Then… where?"

At this, the girl looks down at the floor, and with her hand, hesitantly points a single outstretched finger at the door to her room. She then looks up toward the teacher with sad eyes and an unsmiling face.

And now, it all seems only too obvious.

Seeing everything, Fujimura remembers the way the girl had been at the police station. How she'd been at dinner, and winces painfully against the twisting sensation wrenching in her chest.

At her heart.

Desperately, she swallows against the pained lump in her throat, then tries to force another warm smile down at the child.

"Okay, Itch-chan. You can spend the night here."

Despite maintaining her unsmiling face, Fujimura can still pick up on a subtle shift behind the girl's eyes.

Perhaps a hint of relief mixed with just a touch of gratitude?

Still dressed in her day clothes, Shizuka rests idly against the wall inside the bedroom, beside the door as Fujimura rifles through some of her old belongings.

"Ah, here it is!" Her enthusiastic proclamation is accompanied by her holding up a pair of yellow footie pajamas, complete with a zipper in the back. "When I was younger, this was my favorite pair."

Staring at them, she grins. The flowing night-dress she'd lent to Illya the past evening was just one of her father's attempts to instill in her some shred of femininity. Now far too small for her, yet kept out of sentimentality, it's the only one of that sort, frilly and lacey, that she owns. With having left it at Shirou's to be laundered, she's resorted to sharing another pleasant piece of her past in this.

"It should fit you well, Itchi-chan." Still grinning, Fujimura turns with them toward the girl, then holds them out to her. "You can get changed in here, or if you'd feel more comfortable, you can change in the bathroom."

As Shizuka stares blankly at the bright yellow onesie, her lips curl down in a slight frown. The festering wound this day has inflicted on her leaves her feeling far from amused.

Even despite finding the outfit rather silly looking.

Still, she nods, bowing forward politely as she takes it and steps out, heading to the restroom the older man had shown her earlier that day.

By the time Shizuka has returned, Fujimura has donned her own sleepwear. A flowing yellow night-dress. More mature than the bright-yellow pajamas she loaned to Shizuka, but still somehow lacking any sort of feminine charm.

Of course, it could also be the person wearing it.

The door clips against its frame, alerting Fujimura to Shizuka's return. When she turns to see her, it feels almost like looking into a mirror that reflects the past, with the girl's similar hazel-brown eyes and hair, though wavy instead of smooth, and longer than she'd ever worn hers.

And with those bright yellow pajamas, it feels very much like this child could be a younger version of herself.

"Ah-hah… They do fit…" Fujimura mutters, nodding dumbly.

She then shakes her head to recover from her surprised stupor. Still, the girl looks up at her words with a dull expression. No smile, and no shine in her eyes. Whatever positive energy she'd gained throughout the day seems to have quickly burned away.

Staring down at her, Fujimura winces against the invisible blade twisting in her heart as she watches the girl shuffle over toward her, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face in them.

This poor child… I really hope…

Sighing, she lifts the girl in her arms with a warm, motherly embrace which surprises even herself, having never known she even had that in her, and brings the girl over to her mattress. Gently, she lays her down, hits the light, then crawls in beside her, allowing her the space near the wall.

There's just barely enough room for the both of them. If the teacher rolled recklessly to the side, she'd likely fall to the floor.

Once she has the bed-spread situated, and the girl's head up, resting on her pillow, she breathes out a deeply tired sigh, which rushes past Shizuka's hair and ears, tickling slightly. With what little energy remains, Fujimura tries putting into words the feelings she's been struggling with for the entire day.

"Itchi-chan?"

Slowly, she reaches forward, resting her hand on the girl's shoulder, who shudders lightly in response. Trying to settle herself, and to get a firmer grip on her own thoughts, Fujimura takes in a deep, steadying breath.

"I'm really sorry about what happened to your family. I hope you know that I'm not trying to replace them. I know I can't, and honestly, I'm not even certain how to go about this. But I'm going to try my best to help you through this. I know it's hard, and that it probably won't get better soon. And I know I said it earlier, but…"

Again, the few times throughout the day since they met when the girl had smiled, and even giggled, flash through the teacher's mind. Then, the rest of the time, where her eyes had held back a sea of sadness, and her mouth had been that sea's beach, pressed closed as a frown or a thin line.

Only once, and briefly, had that sea's waves crested.

Fujimura swallows hard, trying to drive back her own feelings as her own eyes sadden and grow menacingly moist, before going on.

"I won't force you to talk or let your feelings out. Not about what happened, or anything else. But if you ever want to, then please talk to me. I promise that this is a safe place."

The entire time she speaks, Shizuka's form remains firm, almost rigid. A few times, Fujimura gently kneads her shoulder, trying to help her feel the kind warmth of human contact, to help her understand that as bad as everything is, it doesn't mean her entire world has been forever shattered.

"I can't…"

Finally, surprising both of them, Shizuka speaks in a voice so quiet and so fragile it could be crushed by a gentle spring afternoon breeze. Perhaps it's all she can muster, as she doesn't elaborate. But seeing a chance to help the girl open up, before she closes herself off forever, Fujimura gently prods with her words.

"Can't?"

"Cry… again…" Shizuka shudders, trying to adhere to her words. "I have to be strong."

Those five simple words—I have to be strong—twist violently like a venom-laced blade plunging deep into her heart, and she sucks in a sharp breath as her entire body tenses up.

That she's already decided this could bode ill for her future.

"Itchi-chan, that's wrong…" Gently, she squeezes the girl's shoulder. "Being strong doesn't mean holding back your tears."

In the few silent seconds which pass after those words are spoken, the girl rolls over, facing the teacher and putting the wall at her back. The dim light from the stars and moon pouring into the room through the windows is enough for Fujimura to see Shizuka's eyes welling up.

Perhaps it was simply that no one has ever told her that before, or that she's been led to believe otherwise by society, her peers, or even her family.

It may even have been the simple, matter-of-fact way in which Fujimura spoke her soft rebuttal.

But by Shizuka's expression, it's clear to Fujimura that her words have had some effect.

"Is… Is it really okay…?"

Slowly, hesitantly, she asks for affirmation, or perhaps permission, in words spoken softer than a whisper. Wordlessly, Fujimura slowly nods, smiling sadly down at the girl, brushing her hair aside from her forehead with her fingers.

"I said it was, Itchi-chan. I wasn't lying."

Before those words have faded in the dark, Shizuka accepts them, plunging her face into Fujimura's gown, wailing an entire ocean of grief-laden tears. Her choking sobs echo in the otherwise quiet room, periodically broken by mournful cries for her sister. Her father.

Her mother.

Cries heavy with sorrow, each tearing at Fujimura's heart like scattered shards of shrapnel. All she can do now is let Shizuka pour out her feelings until she's asleep, as she cradles her head and runs her fingers through the girl's soft and wavy hair.