Author's note below.

Kitty sat and watched as Matt was busy making coffee, he had even gotten the tray from the library that she had taken in there earlier that morning. As she was watching him pour out the old coffee, she let out a gasp, Matt was about dropped the porcelain coffee pot. "Matt, the girls!" He slowly breathed, as he had caught a hold of the lid and base of the pot in his hands, which could have almost shattered to a million little pieces if it had fallen to the floor. He Then looked up at Kitty as he set the coffee pot back down on the counter. She had her hand over her heart, "What of the girls, whose taking care of them? Oh, Matt they must be scared!" She started to get up, but Matt was quicker and was by her side in four quick strides. He placed his hands on her shoulders, he was firm but gentle as he set her back down. "Whoa, there hold on. You are not going anywhere, not yet anyway." "But Matt, the girls." Kitty started to protest in worry. Matt could see the look on her face, he then knelt to her eye level. "They are safe, Sarah was there shortly after the accident. She and her sister are taking care of them." He could see Kitty's face ease, with relief. But then she sat up with a start. "They-they don't have any broken bones or anything?" Matt only smiled. "No, the preacher and his wife took the brunt of it; but even they are going to be alright, along with their baby." Kitty let out the breath she was holding in and relaxed once more. Matt patted her hand, "Our girls only have a few scraped up knees along with a few bruises but nothing else, from what Mrs. Matheson said."

"Oh, Matt, maybe if I would have just told you, it might have..." Matt pressed his finger to her lips and stopped her right there, "Kitty, honey, that won't change anything now. What's done is done. We just need to thank God, that everyone is alive and well."

"But Matt, if only I-"

"Kitty, the rest can wait until the coffee is done," He kissed her on the cheek before returning to the stove, it did not take long for the coffee pot to sound that it was finished. "I'll take this into the library, then I'll come back for you."

Kitty sighed in protest, "Really Matt, I can walk now. There is no need for you to fuss over me so."

"Yeah, I know you can. But I would rather you have help walking, than have you fall and hurt yourself more. Besides if Doc were here, he would say the same thing." Kitty opened her mouth to say something but closed it, knowing he was right. "All right, I'll wait." She huffed.

"Thank you."

The sound of the dishes rattling on the tray, filled the air as Matt left the room.

"Yeah, you are not welcome!" She muttered, as she crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair. Kitty was sure she sounded like one of the girls throwing a temper tantrum at this point, but she didn't care. Matt could only smile as he heard her reply.

Matt made sure Kitty was sitting comfortably on the couch, he was close by incase she needed anything or if something was out of reach, he was sure to get it for her. She had her cup of coffee, but she hardly touched it. "Do you need some water, Kitty?"

She smiled, "No thank you, Matt. I am fine." She then slowly stood up and walked over to the fireplace, Matt rushed to her side, but she only shook her head. The sound of the fire could be heard as it popped and crackled.

Kitty let out a sigh, she knew she had broken Matt's heart by not telling him about the girls. It was so hard to look at him. But each time she would look at him, his eyes had no hint of anger, or hatred toward her. But only love, love that had been there ever since she had known him.

She took a deep breath and prayed. "Oh Lord, please grant me your grace, your mercy in all of this. Please give me the strength, wisdom, the words, and please guide me. Amen." Kitty then turned to Matt, "I know Mrs. Matheson told you about our two girls. But that is only a small part of the story, Cowboy."

Matt came and stood next to her, "I'm here whenever you are ready to tell it." She only nodded as she took another deep breath. "There was another baby, but..." Kitty sniffed and then she turned to Matt and fell into his arms. He did not know what to say, as questions filled his mind. But he knew she just needed him to be there for her.

"How did..." Once the words left his mouth; he felt like a fool for asking them. "Oh Kitty, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." She looked up at him, "No, Matt. It is all right. You have every right to ask. Besides all the cards are being put on the table." Kitty sniffed as she walked back to the couch and sat down. "Do you remember back, almost fourteen years ago when I was first shot. Chester and I were in the Long Branch, having a few beers and just having a good time laughing and talking. Then two rowdy cowboys started to shoot up the place, and I got a bullet in the back?" Matt nodded, she then swallowed. "Well, I had lost a lot of blood, and it was also a shock to my body. I did not even know that I was pregnant until Doc told me, but by then it was too late. He tried everything he could to save the baby, but there was nothing he could do. The amount of blood I lost, was too great and my body was in shock as it was fighting to survive." Matt walked back over and sat down next to her. It was hard to take in the news. "Oh Kit. It is not your fault. If only I would have known, maybe if I would have..."

She softly looked up at him, "Would it if changed anything, Matt?" He gave a half nod, in some ways it would have, but in others it would not. They would have been married, but she would have all ways been playing second fiddle to that badge.

"Kitty, darlin you know that you didn't need to walk this road alone." He said as he drew her into his arms. Letting her know that she did not need to do anything alone ever again.

"I know that now Matt. But I let my fear control me instead of thinking clearly. I made Doc swear not to tell you." Matt nodded; he could understand her reasoning, he did not like it, but he still understood.

Kitty pulled back from him and gave a sigh.

"It was strange Matt, after I lost the child, I had days of longing to hold a baby. Sometimes my arms would even ache to hold a baby and not just any baby…but ours. But as the weeks and months would pass, I knew I was slowly healing from it, even though the pain and ache was still there. But I knew I was going to be okay. But two years later, We had the biggest argument we've ever had. You told me that you just had to make that trip to Hays over going to the Ford County Sociable. Well that brought back the pain of losing the baby all over again. but I wanted you because I was hurting. Everything in me wanted you and the child I lost. But, yet I kept stoking the fire and letting my temper flare, because of how upset I was with you, for always putting that badge before me. But I never should have." Kitty wiped away her tears that were streaming down her cheeks. "So, when I found Ad, I-I let him take your place. Only for a little while, that was until he tried to force his way…" Kitty stopped in what she was saying for they both knew how it had ended. She looked up at him, "Matt," she paused, "Him and I never…I mean I never let him."

Matt took a hold of her hand, and rubbed it with his thumb, "I believe you, Kitty. You're not that kind of woman anymore, I know you left that past long ago."

A heartfelt smile spread across Kitty's face, she searched his eyes, The fact that he believed her, made her love him even more.

"Thank you," she whispered. "But I'm still sorry that I…"

"Kit, I forgive you. It's in the past, there is no need to worry about it anymore. He isn't in our lives, and we don't need to worry about it. But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you." He said as he winked at her, she nodded at him, out of fear of crying again.

A silence filled the air as Kitty let Matt prosses what she just told him. The coffee as Kitty predicted they would need was a hit. Matt had already drank three cups of it as Kitty was on her second. "Kitty, there is a question that is on my mind, and it is really bugging me."

Kitty smiled as she set her coffee cup down on the table and looked at him,

"Oh, what's that, cowboy?"

"How, did you manage to hide two pregnancies under my nose, without me even knowing?"

Kitty chuckled, "I was just getting to that." She then took another sip of her coffee, "You know, Matt I forgot how good your coffee is!

You really do make some of the best. Festus and Newly try, but you, my cowboy have them all beat." She smiled as he gave her a nod,

"Thank you. But now about my question." She laughed at his eagerness,

"Well, as you know when you came back from Hays, found Ad as he was trying to…" Kitty paused, "Anyways, after that you and I were rather close for several months, if I recall." Matt nodded his head, as he could remember all of it.

"Well, one morning I was feeling a little off, and I went to see Doc, and he confirmed my suspicion. I was three months along, but the baby bump wasn't showing. So, I when on with life as normal as possible. You were out of town so much that it was easy to hide it from you."

Matt could only nod, he was gone a lot that year, a trip to Mexico and a others in between. "But what about the town's people?"

"I'd wear Corsets, capes, fuller skirts, skirts with ruffles, and even skirts that were the color black. It's all about tricking the eyes, Matt. but something else that was in my favor was the fact I'm a little taller than most women, not by much, but it does make a difference."

"Okay, but what about me?"

Kitty smiled as she looked at him, "Do you ever remember me saying to you,

I've got a headache, I'm too tired or, I don't feel good."

Matt nodded.

"That's why. I guess the reasons why I never told you about the girls before was because, I knew how you felt about having a family and that you always put that badge first. But I was scared too, because of the outlaws."

Matt let out a long sigh, "Kitty, but even then, I wish you would have told me."

Kitty only sniffed, "I know Matt, I wish I would have too. But I was scared, I was only thirty-two years old at the time and I didn't even know what I was doing.

The thought of being a mother was exciting, but terrifying to me at the same time. That was right around the time the Andersons moved into Dodge. The four of us had become close friends. While you were down in Mexico, I told Tom and Sarah about being pregnant. Sarah being the sweet and kind person that she is, said that both her and Tom would be willing to have me stay there when my time came to have the baby."

She paused for a moment realizing how much she would have like to have Matt there for that moment.

"So, before I really started to show too much. I went out and stayed with the Andersons. Then on May 26, at 3:30 in the morning Bethany Hope Russell Dillon entered the world. Screaming and crying but healthy as ever. Doc said She was one of the most beautiful babies he had ever delivered."

Matt smiled, "So, Bethany shares my birthday."

"I hope you're okay, with me giving Bethany your last name, and using your mother's name as her middle."

"No, Kitty. I don't mind at all."

She gave a nod, as she took another drink of her coffee.

"Tom and Sarah took care of Bethany for a few months. They would come into town and stay at the hotel, or Ma's. where I could see my…I mean our little girl. Of course, with Bethany being so little and her being our child I would make as many trips as possible out to see her, to feed her and such. I could never understand a mother's love until Doc placed that tiny little bundle in my arms."

Matt could only smile as he would hear Kitty talk of their daughter. Her eyes would light up, and a smile would spread across her face.

"She has my hair, but your eyes, and nose. With height to match."

Matt gave a soft chuckle. "No one in town gave you any…"

Kitty shook her head, "No, Tom had red hair if you remember. That's what made it work so well. Tom was only six 'four but he was considered a tall man, he was stockier but could pass for her father. The same goes for Sarah as her mother, but we all knew as Bethany grew that she was going to start looking more like you and me. It was then Tom's job changed, and they had to move to St. Louis, which made it work out again."

Kitty slowly looked over to Matt as he was slowly processing this, he could have already met his little girl and have not known it.

"And when Bethany was one, they moved here to this house. So, every trip I took by myself, I always made sure I stopped to see our little girl, without fail. Even the trips you and I took I'd always come to see her."

Matt looked over at her.

"That's why, your one trip you were gone for a month."

Kitty smiled as she nodded. "Yes, that was hard to say goodbye to her."

"Alright, you've told me about Bethany, what about the other one?"

"Well, five years later. Do you remember when you were gone, Doc and I telling you about Guerin and the other bounty hunters that came into town while you were away that one night, and then you made it back just in time?"

Matt nodded his head, "Yeah,"

"Then you and I took some time off together right after that?"

Matt nodded again.

Kitty smiled, "Well Cowboy. Nine months later, on November 24, Madeline Joy Russell Dillon was born at 6:00 am in the morning. But she is called Maddie for short."

Matt smiled again, "That was your mother's middle name wasn't it?"

Kitty nodded, "Yes, and when I looked at that little girl for the first time, I couldn't help but feel Joy. I named her Maddie because she looks more like you than her older sister. She had dimples when she smiles, darker hair, my eyes, and nose. But everything else is you."

Matt could only smile as he felt his heart grow with love for the two little girls he had never met yet.

"How, did you make it here, without Doc being with you?"

"Oh, he came with, he wasn't about to miss the birth. Plus, he didn't want me traveling alone, he tried his best to get me to tell you, but I was still being stubborn and wouldn't budge. So, I gave birth to Maddie in my room upstairs."

"Did, Tom and Sarah ever referred to themselves as father and mother to the girls?"

Kitty shook her head, "No. They were always Uncle Tom and Auntie Sarah to the girls. The girls knew I was their mother, and that you were their father."

"But how, they've never seen me."

"Well cowboy. Do you remember that picture we took together, when we took a vacation here about eight years ago?"

"Yeah, I have mine in my room, but you lost yours, that was taken two days before I had to pick up Monk Wiley and hull him off to Dodge before the prison wagon came to pick him up."

Kitty nodded again.

"Yes, that's the one. Well, the day you had to spend in the Marshal's office here. I was with Sarah and Bethany. I gave Bethany my copy, so she could have our picture and know what we look like."

Matt chuckled.

"All this time I thought you were out shopping."

"Oh, I was, I was just doing it with Sarah and Bethany."

Matt shook his head and laughed.

"You let me think you lost that picture all this time."

"Mm-mmm, I did. I just never bothered to correct you. Some women like to have secrets you know."

Matt threw his head back and laughed,

"Well, I'm glad you gave it to our daughter and that you didn't lose it."

Matt sat back as he thought of everything that was just said to him, it certainly was a lot to take in. Just as Kitty said it would be.

"Kitty, how old are the girls now?"

"Bethany is ten, and Maddie is going to be four, on the 24th of this month. One of her birthdays wishes last year was to meet you. I promised myself I wasn't going to go through that heartbreak again."

"Why, what happened?"

"Her being a three-year-old, can throw a temper tantrum… but this was far beyond that. I never seen anything like it. Maddie didn't even want cake or ice cream or to open her gifts, she stormed off to her room because you weren't there. She laid on her bed for a good hour or more refusing to move."

Matt felt like his heart was being torn to shreds.

"I don't think I could ever do that to Maddie again."

Matt slowly nodded.

"Kitty, I-I"

"Matt could you ever forgive me? I was so wrong in hiding all of this from you. I was always scared of what someone might think or do. But I listened to that fear when I never should have.

Matt, I'm sorry. If I could go back ten years before Bethany was born and tell you I would. But I can't."

Matt placed his hand on hers, and he brought her face to his.

"Kitty, I still love you. We all make mistakes but that is where grace and mercy and forgiveness come into play. Of course, I forgive you.

You know while you were passed out; I know God did some work on this old heart of mine too. Because I wasn't always putting you in the right place either. I was making you play second fiddle, sometimes even last, when it came to the badge. I'm sorry Kitty, would you forgive me?"

"Of course, I do Matt."

"Yeah, that's another thing we need to talk about."

Kitty raised her brow as she looked at him,

"What's that?"

He took a deep breath, before letting it out,

"Marriage!"

TBC

I'm so happy you guys are enjoying the story! The episodes that I was talking about in this chapter are Kitty shot, The Way it is, Extradition Part 1 and 2. The Wreckers, and The Long Night. I know the storyline may or may not follow everything, but it's a writer's privilege 😊 and it's called fanfiction for a reason. But this is my take on it, and it works for the story. Lol anyways I hope you guys are having a great summer!