"Bring 'em on back to me now. Your homework for the week is twelve inches on knarls with focus on identification and care," Hagrid called.
Rachel gently scooped up the knarl their group had been studying, careful to avoid poking her hands with its quills, and brought it back to the basket where Hagrid was standing.
"Can you stay after for a minute?" Hagrid asked her.
"Okay," she said, hoping Hagrid wanted something other than to talk about the article. It had been four full days since the article came out and the atmosphere at Hogwarts was still tense. People were still looking at her and whispering and it made her skin crawl when she thought about what they were probably saying about her.
She had avoided people as much as she could. She'd skipped breakfast today. Over the weekend she'd had most meals either with her study group in the Room of Requirement or with Severus in his quarters. She'd stayed away from the common room and the library. In class though she couldn't avoid people, at least not very well.
"I need to stay for a minute after class," she told her friends as she rejoined them.
"We'll wait for you," Millie said.
"Professor Umbridge didn't look too pleased with the lesson," Neville said as he finished putting his two-way book away.
"Which is ridiculous. It was a perfectly informative and relatively safe lesson. Goyle wouldn't have been poked by the knarl if he'd handled it gently," Hermione said.
"I'm not sure Goyle understands the idea of holding something gently," Theo said, shaking his head. "I've seen him break quills because he'll hold them too hard."
Rachel wondered about Crabbe and Goyle sometimes. She knew Draco was at least sort of friends with them, though he didn't treat them very kindly, but she'd never really talked to them in more than passing at meals. They seemed like they kept to themselves a lot. If she was trying to help Draco avoid becoming a Death Eater, shouldn't she be doing the same for them? She hadn't the slightest idea of how she'd even go about that though.
"Looks like she's gone," Hagrid said as he joined them.
She looked up at the castle and saw Professor Umbridge's pink form had reached the steps leading into the entrance hall. "Has she been attending all your classes, or just your fifth years?"
"She's dropped in on each of my years. Don't know how she's teaching her own classes as well," Hagrid said.
"She's not. I checked," Hermione said. "I asked around and she's writing the chapter and the homework assignment on the board and setting monitoring charms on the classroom to alert her if anyone leaves their seats."
"I'd say something about trying to get her into trouble for that, but if Professor Dumbledore can't fire her, there's really nothing he can do about it," Theo said.
Hagrid nodded. "That's why I wanted to talk to you lot. It seems like she's got me as the one she wants to fire next and I don't know how long it's going to be, but I need your help with something if it happens."
"How can we help?" Neville asked.
"It's a secret and it takes a bit of explaining, but if you come down over the weekend, I'll tell you about it," Hagrid said.
"We can do that, and we'll help if we can," Rachel said, wondering if the secret was about whatever it was that he was keeping in the forest. If whatever it was could hurt Hagrid, it might be beyond their abilities.
"Good. Good. You doing alright, Rachel?" he asked.
"Well enough," she said, looking up at Hagrid's face.
"Never thought anything of the kind, of course. And you're with Snape now," he said, seeming worried as he looked down at her.
"I'm fine now," she said firmly, hoping that would be the end of it.
Hagrid nodded. "Course you are. You're all staying for Easter, aren't you?
"We are. We are going to spend the time studying and preparing for our OWLs," Hermione said, looking determined.
"You'll do just fine on your OWLs, no worries there. Now I gotta put these knarls back, go on to lunch," Hagrid said. "I'll see you on the weekend."
"We'll see you then," Theo said.
"Are we eating in the Great Hall today?" Millie asked as they started on the walk back to the castle.
"Might as well," Rachel said. She had to go back in there eventually.
"Are you going to eat if we eat there?" Millie pressed.
"Not sure yet. Might have some juice," she said. She thought she was a little bit hungry, but it was hard to tell.
"Hermione, when we have a moment, we should talk about the study schedule for Easter break," Theo said.
"What about it?"
"We need to have a good balance. We should have breaks worked into the schedule and evenings off," Theo said.
"Evenings off?" Hermione repeated.
"This is our last chance to rest our minds before the exams, we should take advantage of it," he said, undeterred. "I know that you know that our minds absorb information better when we've had breaks and had different activities interspersed with studying."
"I do know that, but to take the entire evening off is a bit much, don't you think?" she asked.
Rachel exchanged a glance with Millie and Neville and shrugged. This was not her fight.
"I'm not saying you can't use that time to study if you want to, but it should be a free time where we can do a variety of things. We can practice spells, practice rune carving, make the Room into different things, or read something else to give our minds a break. There's a lot of things we can do."
"I suppose some evenings it would be alright to change things up a little." Hermione sounded reluctant.
"It's a balance. Let's take some time this week to look at everything we want to cover over the break and we'll make a schedule with breaks in it," Theo suggested.
"Alright. We'll see what we can fit in, as long as we're adequately covering everything," Hermione agreed.
Theo looked pleased, Hermione slightly less so. Millie and Neville just looked relieved.
The Great Hall was at its usual mealtime volume, which was fairly noisy. Rachel sat between Theo and Millie and surveyed the food. Maybe she would just have pumpkin juice. She knew she needed to eat, but she was scared that if she did eat she was going to throw up, right in front of everyone. In a few days it would be better. People wouldn't be watching her so closely then.
"You could take apart a sandwich if you wanted, and just eat the parts you like," Millie suggested.
"It's fine," Rachel said, noticing that Pansy was watching her from across the table where she was sitting with Draco and Daphne. "What did you think of the knarls?"
"They were cute enough, I suppose," Pansy said. "Wouldn't really care to have them in my garden though. I don't think I'm going to take the NEWT class for Care of Magical Creatures. I thought it was going to be caring for cute and useful animals, animals that you might keep at home, but most of them are pretty gross or scary."
"You would think they'd teach us about owls and owl care, considering most people have one," Theo said.
"Maybe we should suggest it to Hagrid," Millie said. "We could suggest he do a class on common magical pets, like kneazles and crups and owls."
"I think that would be more useful than what we're doing now," Daphne said.
"I'm not sure the purpose of any of our classes is to be useful. Most of the things we learn aren't useful at all," Draco said.
"Conjuring is useful," Rachel pointed out.
"And vanishment," Millie added.
"Two things in five years of Transfiguration classes. At least we could potentially use almost half of the potions we brew," Draco said.
"Charms is quite useful. We use a lot of the charms we learn," Theo said.
"Defense could be useful if it was taught well," Blaise said from Daphne's other side.
"Well there's no chance of that happening. Whoever we get next year will be just as bad," Draco said pessimistically.
That was probably true. So far their bad Defense teachers had far outweighed the good ones. Professor Moody had been so-so, but even so-so was much better than Professor Umbridge. At least they had the DA, and maybe they could continue it next year.
"Has anyone picked what classes they are taking next year?" Pansy asked.
Millie shook her head. "I still don't know. Do you think NEWT classes are going to be a lot harder?"
"They can't be that much harder. Most people take four to five NEWT classes and the fail rate for NEWT exams is about one in five, with Transfiguration and Arithmancy being the most frequently failed exams," Draco said.
"Do you know the fail rate for OWL exams?" Rachel asked, now both curious and worried.
"About one in ten, with Transfiguration, Potions, History, and Arithmancy being the exams failed most often," Draco listed.
"How do you know this?" Theo asked.
"Madam Marchbanks was at my father's Christmas party and since she's on the Wizarding Examinations Authority I asked her about how the exams usually function at Hogwarts and she was happy to tell me about it. Apparently we usually take the written exam in the morning and the practical exam in the afternoon and it's stretched out over two weeks, with exams without practical portions taking place on the same day. She also told me she couldn't reveal how questions were chosen, only that they change every year to prevent people from getting the information from people who'd already taken them," Draco explained.
"One in ten isn't too bad. That means almost everyone fails at least one exam," Daphne said.
"Or, more likely, the average student fails one exam, the above average student fails no exams, and the underperformers fail multiple," Draco corrected. "The only thing our OWLs really matter for is getting into the NEWT classes you want, so don't bother revising for the classes you don't care about."
Rachel thought that she could never take that advice. She was pretty sure it would physically kill her to fail an exam.
"I suppose most of you are going for a Potions NEWT?" Daphne asked.
"I am," Theo said.
"Me too," Rachel said.
"I think I will, assuming I get an Outstanding on the OWL. I hope so at least," Millie said.
"I am, of course," Draco said. "What about you, Pansy?"
"I'm not sure yet. I don't think I can get an Outstanding on the OWL," she said.
"I definitely can't," Daphne said.
"Me neither, I'm not even going to try," Blaise said. "My focus is going to be on Ancient Runes."
"I'll study with you, if you want," Draco offered to Pansy.
"You will? I thought you didn't want to study for exams?" Pansy asked.
"Well, I won't be studying, but I'll help you if you want to try to get an O on the OWL," he said.
"Professor Snape said that his NEWT classes were for people going into potions or potions related fields, or those who need a NEWT for their career. I just don't know yet," Pansy said.
"I feel the same way. It's really hard to pick something," Millie said.
Rachel was glad she already picked, though she didn't know that she would even live long enough to get a Mastery. She supposed it depended on a lot of different factors.
She stared down at her plate, letting the ongoing conversation about NEWT classes and career choices wash over her. Was she just kidding herself with the idea that she could do anything other than fight in the war? The more she thought about playing in the League, the more unrealistic it seemed. It wasn't that she was afraid to try out for a spot and she thought that her skills were pretty good, if not on a National team level. But how could she play at an open game when Death Eaters might show up?
Even getting a Potions Mastery seemed a little murky. Would there be a Potions Master or Mistress who would be willing to place themselves in danger to teach her? Could she in good conscience even ask them to place themselves in danger?
The only way the war was going to end was with the Dark Lord dead. And she was supposed to kill him.
She almost laughed. How could Professor Dumbledore and Severus possibly expect that of her? It was absurd. The Dark Lord was nearly as powerful as Professor Dumbledore. She was fifteen years old and about to take her OWL examinations. She couldn't even cast silently yet, or apparate, or do probably a million other things that the Dark Lord knew how to do.
The whole thing was crazy. And yet, it wasn't. Because this war was going to get worse until she did something about it. Severus had said that they would prepare her, but how did you prepare a person for something like that? Professor Dumbledore was over a century old. The Dark Lord, well, she didn't know how old he was, but if he'd opened the Chamber of Secrets while Hagrid was a student, then he had to be...at least sixty years old. Maybe seventy? But the point was, he'd had a lot of time to learn and study and practice magic. And she was fifteen.
"Rachel? You in there?" Millie asked.
Rachel turned to Millie. "What?"
"Time to go to class if we're going to get up seven flights of stairs," she said. "You alright? You kind of spaced out."
"I'm okay. Just thinking," she said as she got to her feet and picked up her bag. She needed to stop thinking. It didn't do any good.
It somehow figured that it would be Rachel's turn to teach in the DA the week after the article came out. Both Hermione and Theo had offered to teach the lesson instead and Rachel had turned them down. A part of her - a very large part - was wishing that she hadn't. She could just picture everyone staring at her, waiting for her to speak, wondering what she'd say. It almost made her wish that she was back in her first year when no one had expected her to say anything. That had been easier, for all its drawbacks.
So far most people had been kind about what was printed in the article. She'd heard a lot of whispers with questions: how had she survived, was that why she was small, was that why she didn't used to talk, and what was going to happen to her relatives. Rachel thought they were taking things a bit out of proportion. She'd never been in any real life threatening danger while she was with her relatives. She was small because she just was. It was why she used to not talk, but it was more complicated than that. And hopefully her relatives would just be left alone and people would stop asking about them.
She'd heard a few whispers that were a little less friendly. Things like people speculating on exactly what had happened with her uncle, or people saying that's what happened when magical people and muggles mixed, or people saying that the Wizengamot should be pursuing criminal charges against Professor Dumbledore. She ignored all of it, or at least tried to. So far the newspaper was showing no signs of stopping writing articles about the situation. Rachel wasn't reading them, but she asked Millie every day once they were alone. Apparently Rita Skeeter was having a grand time making guesses about Rachel's mental state and expounding on the details of the original article, all the while blaming Professor Dumbledore.
"I think we've got everyone now. I'm going to get them started on Patronus practice, and then we'll regroup for the Cutting hex?" Hermione asked.
Rachel nodded. "That sounds good."
"Alright everyone. Thanks for coming. Before we start, does anyone have anything to report that's relevant to the group at large? Any encounters with Professor Umbridge or the Inquisitorial Squad?" Hermione called, catching everyone's attention.
Cho put her hand in the air. "Professor Umbridge kept me after class. She asked me if I'd seen anything unusual in the castle."
"Unusual in what way?" Theo asked.
"That's what I asked her. She said anything that stood out to me or anything that seemed odd. I told her that I'd seen Peeves in the history corridor more often than usual and that he might be plotting some mischief. I wasn't under the impression that she knew anything specific, just that she was searching," Cho explained.
Hermione nodded. "Good to know, thank you. Anyone else?"
Tristram stepped forward. "She's still fixated on Rachel. All of us have been given instructions to watch her and report back what she's doing. Right now we've been saying that she's studying in the library, with Professor Snape, or in her dorm room. We've also said that sometimes we can't find her, but that Hogwarts is a big place. I'm a little worried she's going to ask Draco to start following her closely."
"If she does, Rachel and I will work out a time table where I can say she was somewhere as long as no one else knows where she is," Draco said, looking at Rachel.
"Thanks," Rachel said. She hoped it didn't come to that.
"Are there any signs that she's associating anyone else with Rachel, asking for anyone else's movements or locations?" Theo asked.
"She knows Millie is with Rachel pretty much all day every day, Professor Umbridge's latest suggestion was that if we can't find Rachel, to try to find Millie instead," Tristram said.
Rachel looked at Millie and found her looking back. She hated the idea that Millie was being targeted because of her.
"We'll take that into consideration then," Hermione said. "Anything else we should know?"
"Three months and then Umbridge is gone," Lee Jordan called, getting cheers and a few shouts of approval.
"That's a good point. We're nearly there. We can keep outsmarting her. Let's get started with Patronus practice. Does anyone want to show any progress before we begin?" Hermione asked.
"I do. Watch," Tracey said as she stepped up to the middle of the room. She pulled her wand and closed her eyes. "Expecto patronum." A moment later a large silvery butterfly appeared from her wand.
Everyone clapped and cheered. "Go Tracey!" Cassius shouted.
Tracey was smiling brightly, like all of the happiness she had put into the spell was now reflected in her.
"Well done," Theo said.
"That's almost half of us now," Heidi said approvingly.
Most of the seventh years had managed to cast a corporeal patronus over the last month. Everyone had been particularly impressed that Cedric's was a badger, which was the Hufflepuff mascot.
"Those of you who have corporeal patronuses, working on your casting time. Everyone else, concentrate on happy memories," Hermione directed.
Rachel sat on one of the tables at the edge of the room and watched as people practiced. Most of the fifth years and below had their wands out and their eyes closed. The upper years were casting their patronuses and silvery animals bounded around the room. It was a nice sight. It was measurable progress for a lot of them, considering the study group had been the only ones with corporeal patronuses when they started. Now everyone, even Dennis and Astoria, could at least cast a non-corporeal patronus.
"May I sit?" Tracey asked.
"Sure," Rachel said. "Well done on your patronus. It's beautiful."
"Thank you," Tracey said, sitting next to Rachel and casting a privacy ward around them. "I looked butterflies up in the library, but I'm not too sure about the symbolism there. I'm not sure it's right for me."
"What does it symbolize?" Rachel asked, curious why Tracey wouldn't think her patronus form fit.
"A number of things. Transformation, beauty, immortality, fertility, hope, and joy. I'm more comfortable with some of those than others," Tracey said, blushing lightly.
"Well, unless you're a vampire, you're probably not immortal," she said, tackling the easiest one first.
Tracey smiled. "Did Professor Lockhart tell you to examine the teeth of boys to see if they're vampires when you go on dates too?"
"He did. He was a very strange man," Rachel said, finding that she could say that with some amusement now that she was further away from the experience.
"He was. Not as bad as Umbridge, but not a great teacher either. I have to believe there really is no one else that Professor Dumbledore can hire if we keep getting teachers like this." Tracey shook her head.
"He couldn't hire anyone at all this year. That's why the Ministry sent Professor Umbridge. Professor Snape says Professor Dumbledore has someone in mind for the position for next year," she said, feeling that she could trust Tracey with that much information at least.
"That's a relief. Hopefully they're good. I want a good NEWT score. I can't believe I'm taking my NEWTs next year. You're planning to continue the DA next year, aren't you?"
"We're thinking about it. We want to find out more about the new professor first." Rachel didn't want to make any commitments.
"That's probably a reasonable plan. I've been wanting to check on you, but you've been avoiding the common room. Not that I blame you, of course. We've been pretty firm with the House about not bothering you, so I think you can come out into the common room again without anyone saying anything to you," Tracey offered.
Rachel shook her head. "I'm going to wait until people are done staring at me first."
Tracey's mouth went flat. "I'm sorry about that. I keep thinking back to three years ago with...well, you know. And people were talking about you, and I didn't do anything, even though I'd been there too."
"There wasn't anything you could do," she said, desperately wanting out of this conversation. Why wasn't patronus practice finished yet?
"Even so. I feel like I should have said something. I know now there were other girls too. I just keep thinking that if one of us had done something, the others wouldn't have gotten hurt. You were the one to stop him, and I wish I had," Tracy continued.
"It wasn't like that. In my first year, Professor Snape told me specifically that if someone did something like that, that I was supposed to tell him. And I was scared what would happen if I didn't do what he said. I couldn't even tell him, I had to write it down and then leave it for him," Rachel explained, feeling that Tracey was giving her way too much credit.
Tracey looked at her for a long moment. "Are things okay with Professor Snape? Does he treat you alright?"
"Professor Snape treats me very well, he's an excellent guardian," she said quickly.
"Good. Then it's good that you can go to him if you need to. He's okay with everything that's going on?" Tracey asked.
Rachel wasn't sure how to answer that question. "Things between us are fine, he already knew about what was in the article," she said, hoping she was answering the right question.
"Good," Tracey said again. "Well, if you need something, or if someone in the House is being a problem, or even outside of the House, let me know. I'll make sure it's taken care of."
"Thanks," Rachel said, noticing that Hermione was calling people back from patronus practice. "I've gotta get up there."
"Of course," Tracey said, dismissing the privacy ward.
Rachel got up and took a steadying breath. That was not a conversation that she'd wanted to have. She went to Hermione's side as people formed a loose semi-circle around them.
"And now, we're going to teach you the Cutting hex," Hermione said.
"The Cutting hex is a spell that is very much like the Severing charm, but is different in some important ways," Rachel began, trying to not look at any single person. "While the Severing charm will cut through a few pieces of parchment or a few pieces of fabric, the Cutting hex will go through a thick block of wood or cut chunks of stone out of a wall. It may interest you to know that I used this spell in the third task last year to cut through the hedge maze. What is very important to know, probably the most important thing, is don't cast it at another person or animal unless you are trying to kill or dismember them. If you are trying to kill them, aim for the throat or the groin, because you have major arteries there and will bleed out quickly. Also, please do not cast this spell in the castle if you are not aiming at a practice dummy. Do not use it in mock dueling either."
She moved so that she was facing one of the practice dummies. "The incantation is sectura, and the wand movement is a quick slash in the direction you want to cut. Sectura!" She lowered her wand and looked at the two inch deep gash she'd made across the belly of the dummy. "Make sure you focus and put some decent power behind it. We have enough dummies for people to partner up and take turns. Let any of us know if you have questions or need assistance."
Rachel exhaled as people began finding partners and going to where the dummies were stationed around the room. That hadn't been so bad.
Cedric, Roland, Heidi, and Martin approached. "Do you want us to team up with some of the lower years since we've got this one?" Martin asked.
"That would be very nice, thank you," Hermione said. "I think Dennis, Colin, and Astoria will probably need the most guidance. I'll help you find them."
Cedric stayed behind while Hermione led the others away. "Are you alright?"
"Not bad. I'm definitely not made to be a teacher, I felt like I was going to trip over my own tongue," Rachel said, purposefully avoiding the larger question.
"You did fine. I think people like knowing a spell you used in the tasks," Cedric said, looking around the room. "I'm sure the past five days have been unpleasant for you, to say the least. I just want you to know the entire DA has your back if anyone says anything. I have your back, and I know my friends do too."
"Thanks," she said, not really sure what to do with an offer like that.
"Have people been okay?" he asked.
"Other than the staring and the whispering, it's fine."
"Not much to do about that, unfortunately. I think it will stop eventually," he said, turning to look at her. "Once this business with Professor Dumbledore and the inquiry is done, I think it will stop."
Rachel nodded. She hoped that was true.
"I'm going to walk around and see if anyone needs help. We'll be here over the Easter holiday, so I'm sure we'll see you around," Cedric said, giving her an encouraging smile before he walked away.
She sighed. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate people's support, because she did. She'd much rather have that than feel like everyone was against her. She just wished it didn't involve so much of the unspoken pity that she was sure she was getting from them. They didn't get that she was still the same person she'd been five days ago. They were the ones who had been changed by what they'd learned.
A look around the room showed that everyone was busy aiming at the practice dummies. At least the DA was going well. At least one thing was going well.
Rachel woke early on Wednesday morning, shivering and her heart pounding. It had been the vision of the Ministry again, ending in those same twelve black doors in the circular room. She reached for her wand and her watch. She first cast the Warming charm on both her blankets and her mattress, and then used the Wand Lighting charm to check the time. Just past two in the morning. Most of her visions seemed to happen between midnight and two in the morning. She wondered if that meant something.
She set her wand and her watch back on her bedside table and burrowed beneath her blankets with her stuffed bunny as she tried to warm up again. In a way, the vision had been a relief. It meant that the Dark Lord hadn't gotten any further into the Department of Mysteries, and that he hadn't read the prophecy from her mind. And it was a welcome break from nightmares.
As she'd predicted, they'd been particularly bad these past few nights. Her sleeping mind was particularly unsubtle. She woke up trembling, remembering the feeling of hands on her body, or gasping for air after being shut in her cupboard, and all the while with the sensation that she was being watched. In one dream she'd been chased naked through the corridors of Hogwarts by someone with a camera.
She'd been operating on around three hours of sleep at night. She hadn't been willing to risk going back to sleep after these nightmares. Instead, she'd practiced the animagus meditations or read from her OWL guides or wrote lists in her journal of the things she wanted to do. Part of her wanted to ask Severus if it would be safe for them to take a short trip in the summer. She'd never left Britain and she didn't think it was such a bad thing that she wanted to go once.
Most of the rest of her list was pretty simple. She wanted to finish at Hogwarts and take her NEWTs. She wanted to become an animagus. She wanted to be scouted for the British League, even if it turned out it was impossible for her to play after she left Hogwarts. She wanted to finish the modifications on the Dreamless Sleep potion so that she would have contributed something while she was alive. And, for the rest, she wanted to spend time with the people she cared about.
What she really was asking for was time. Two of those things couldn't be done until her seventh year, and possibly a third, depending on whether or not Professor McGonagall agreed to mentor them to achieve their animagus forms. She thought she could spend part of the summer working on the Dreamless Sleep potion. And she would ask Severus if she could visit her friends individually this summer. Summer was only three months away and she was looking forward to it for a number of reasons.
In the meantime, she'd settle for getting some sleep and for her stomach to cooperate enough so that she could eat. She was currently drinking juice at every meal and trying small bits of bread and eggs and simple things, with varying degrees of success. Severus would want her to eat more than she was, but right now he didn't have to know how much she was eating. Or sleeping. As long as Pansy wasn't telling him. Maybe she needed to talk to Pansy about how much she told Severus. She just needed to figure out a way to say it that didn't sound like she was asking Pansy to keep secrets for her.
When did her life get so complicated?
Part of it was Professor Umbridge's fault. She wouldn't need to keep nearly as many secrets as she was if Professor Umbridge wasn't here. Part of it was the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord's fault, with all the prophecies and visions and everything else. And part of it just was that some things should be private. While she appreciated Severus protecting her, no one else's parents were watching them to know how much they ate and slept and studied. It was well past time that she was allowed some independence. Somehow she suspected that Severus wouldn't see it that way.
She reapplied the Warming charm four more times over the next few hours and got out of bed when she heard Pansy get up.
"You didn't sleep again?" Pansy asked as she pulled clean clothes out of her wardrobe.
"I did, for the most part," Rachel said. She still hadn't figured out a good way to ask Pansy not to tell Severus about things. She wished she could ask Hermione or Theo, but both of them would just want to know why she wanted to keep that stuff from Severus in the first place.
Pansy's glance didn't look particularly convinced, but she didn't say anything.
Rachel got ready for the day and by the time she was dressed in her uniform and robes, Millie and Daphne had surfaced and were also busy getting dressed.
Not bothering with her shoes yet, Rachel took her toothbrush, toothpaste, and washcloth and went to the upper years girls bathroom. She could hear someone in the shower, but it was still early enough that it was empty otherwise. She washed her face first, pulled back the sides of her hair and tied them back out of her face, and then began to brush her teeth.
She looked up when the door opened and watched as Hestia and Flora entered together. They moved so that they each occupied a sink on either side of Rachel, even though there were seven empty sinks against the wall.
Rachel could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She had left her wand on her bedside table. She quickly spat into the sink, intent on retreating as fast as possible.
"Isn't there anything you want to say?" Flora asked.
She had no idea how to answer that question. She wasn't even sure what the question was referring to. "No? I don't think I have anything to say," she said, grabbing her toothpaste and washcloth and taking a few steps back.
The twins exchanged glances and looked at Rachel again. "Really? You know how to make all of this stop, don't you?" Hestia asked.
Rachel shook her head, still completely lost. Could they be talking about Professor Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad? Or maybe about the article? She had no idea.
The door opened and Abigail and Diane entered carrying their clean clothes and shower things.
"Is there a problem here?" Diane asked as she took in the situation.
"No problem. We just asked her a question," Hestia said, sounding perfectly casual. Flora nodded and moved back to the sink to wash her hands.
Diane looked at Rachel with her eyebrows raised.
"I'm okay," she said, though she still felt spooked. She hurried past Diane and Abigail and out of the bathroom. She was never, ever going anywhere without her wand again. While she doubted she'd be attacked in the bathroom, and she still didn't understand what had just happened, Severus was right about one thing. Hogwarts wasn't safe.
They'd been making the Room of Requirement into the two part room all week, with one half as a study area with the table and chairs, and the other with soft couches and a fireplace. They'd also been staying later in the evening than they used to, though Rachel wasn't sure if that was because of her or if the others were also avoiding their common rooms.
"I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you do look tired," Luna said as she sat down on the couch next to Rachel.
Rachel frowned and looked up from her Potions OWL guide. "How obvious is it?"
"Partially it's the circles under your eyes, but mostly the Muahorns are saying you don't sleep well," Luna said, looking concerned.
Well, at least she didn't have to worry about the Muahorns telling Severus she wasn't sleeping. "I haven't been sleeping well this past week. It will get better," she said finally.
"Does Professor Snape not allow you to take a Dreamless Sleep potion? My father used to give that to me when I was having bad nightmares frequently. They're not as bad now as they used to be, but they still happen every now and then," Luna said, completely casually like they were talking about the weather.
"I don't like the way that the Dreamless Sleep potion makes me feel," she said, hoping she wouldn't have to explain further than that.
Luna nodded. "I worry about that too, with the potion the Healer wants me to take. I worry that if I stop seeing and hearing my creatures, that I won't feel like myself anymore."
It wasn't exactly the same problem she was having, but she could understand feeling that way. She didn't like taking Calming Draughts because she didn't want a potion to change the way she felt either. "Maybe the Healer would know if people taking the potion have said they feel that way afterward? Or, you could try it if you wanted to, and stop if you didn't like it?" Rachel suggested.
"But what if it does change me, but I'm changed, so I don't know?" Luna asked.
"I don't know. I think we would notice if you changed, but we also can't see how you feel, so if that changed, we might not know." This was a puzzle Rachel didn't know how to solve. It seemed like there were a lot of those in her life right now.
"I've felt very sad and worried this past week. I think a lot of people have felt that way. I've wanted to do something that would help, but this seems a very hard thing to help with," Luna said, still seeming very calm and easy mannered.
"I don't really need help. I'm still me. I'm still the exact same person all of you knew a week ago." She'd been wanting to say that a lot, but Luna was the first person she thought might understand.
"You are. You're still Rachel. And I think in time people will remember that. But, at the same time, many people consider you a friend. It's natural to be sad and worried when a friend is hurt, and I think that article, and what the Daily Prophet is printing now, is hurting you."
It certainly wasn't helping her. She didn't know how hurt she was. She was mostly tired.
"I wrote to my father and asked him for advice about what to do when a friend is hurt. He told me that you should ask what you can do to help, but also that sometimes people have to feel hurt for a while before it gets better, and that was okay too. He also recommended that I tell my friend that parents are supposed to help when you feel hurt and that my friend should tell their parents what was happening. I'm not sure he realized that I was talking about you," Luna said.
"Professor Snape is pretty aware of what is happening. I don't think there is really anything more that he can do," Rachel said. The last she'd heard, he and the rest of the Order were working to keep Professor Dumbledore at Hogwarts. "How did your father start his magazine?"
"He started it with a friend, a few years after the war. I was about three years old. My mom was the first editor and he and his friend, Barnaby Dankworth, wrote about the truth, because the Daily Prophet was doing such a poor job. We got a printing press and at first The Quibbler was released only once every four months, but after a few years they started publishing once a month. Barnaby disappeared in 89, but my father is pretty sure he's somewhere in Asia on a long research project. Occasionally he gets unmarked packages with pieces of information, so that's probably Barnaby," Luna explained.
Rachel nodded a little uncertainly. "That sounds like a lot of work."
"It is, but my father and I both think it's worth it for getting information out there. You'd never find the type of article he writes in the Daily Prophet, they won't publish him at all. He's letting me work more on The Quibbler during the summers now that I'm older. I feel like I have a lot of things to tell people, I'm just not sure how yet."
"It's nice that there's a place for you to do that when you're ready." Rachel wasn't sure what she'd tell people either, unless it was a plea to leave her alone.
"We should get going if we're going to make curfew," Theo said as he walked over to them.
Rachel slid her OWL guide back into her bag. She'd made it through the day, and every day was one day further away from that article and towards things being normal again. She just had to keep reminding herself of that.
It was with great reluctance that Rachel made her way to Defense on Thursday after lunch. It had been a terrible week, but at least it had been a whole two weeks when she hadn't had Defense class. She was trying to remind herself that in another week they had two weeks off for the Easter holiday, and then after that, they only had two months left of Professor Umbridge. If she'd survived the whole year so far, she could survive two more months.
Professor Umbridge was sitting at her desk as usual when they entered the room. Rachel steadfastly ignored her and took her seat in the back between Millie and Neville. She took out her completed homework, her textbook, a sheet of parchment, and a quill. If it was a good day, she could write her outline and say absolutely nothing to Professor Umbridge.
The rest of the class filed in, becoming quiet as they took their seats. Finally the chime sounded, signaling the beginning of class.
Professor Umbridge stood up. "Good afternoon class."
"Good afternoon Professor Umbridge," they chanted unenthusiastically.
"Pass your homework assignments to the front of the room and I will collect them," Professor Umbridge directed.
Rachel passed her finished assignment to Daphne, who was sitting in front of her, and wondered why Professor Umbridge didn't use the same spell as the other professors used. Now that she thought about it, she didn't think she'd seen Professor Umbridge use any magic at all. Maybe she wasn't very good with a wand, though she thought she'd have to be in order to get the qualifications to teach Defense? But then, Professor Lockhart hadn't been very good with a wand either, so who knew how people were deemed qualified.
"I will pass your graded assignments back in a few minutes, but before we do, I have something to address with the class," Professor Umbridge said.
Rachel looked up from her textbook. This had never happened before and she had a bad feeling about it.
"Miss Snow, I would like you to tell me how accurate what has recently been printed in the Daily Prophet is," Professor Umbridge said.
"I wouldn't presume to know the accuracy of what is printed in the Daily Prophet at large, ma'am," she said, attempting to keep a level tone.
Professor Umbridge walked over to her desk, picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet and began walking down the aisle to show Rachel the front page from last Thursday. "I would like to know the accuracy of this article. Since it is about your life, I would presume that you would know the answer. Is this article true?"
Everyone in the room had twisted around in their seats to stare at them.
Through sheer force she kept her chin held high. "Yes, ma'am."
"All of it?" Professor Umbridge pressed.
Rachel gritted her teeth. "Yes, ma'am."
"It seems you can tell the truth, under the right circumstances," Professor Umbridge said, fixing her with a long stare before walking back up to the front of the classroom. "I believe that this article explains a lot about Miss Snow. I'm sure now all of you understand why she has said the things that she has said about the night of the third task. Miss Snow, I am asking you now to tell the truth about that night."
The room was utterly silent as everyone waited to see what she would do. Rachel wished she knew what she was supposed to do. She had told Severus that she wouldn't lie about the Dark Lord being back, but she hadn't exactly pictured being asked like this either. She could feel the class watching her, just as she could feel her heart hammering in her chest and the lump in her throat.
"I think Miss Snow's silence has spoken for itself," Professor Umbridge finally said. "Miss Snow, collect your things and come up here."
Half wondering if she shouldn't be using her jewelry to signal to Severus that she needed help, she gathered her things and walked up to the front of the classroom. On the other hand, if she was being kicked out of class, that could only be a good thing.
"This will be your new desk. You will sit here, under my supervision every time you're in my classroom," Professor Umbridge said, pointing to an empty desk that was directly in front of hers. "I will not tolerate any more displays of cheating, dishonesty, or defiance from you. You would think that being raised by a strict hand would have taught you more discipline, but it seems your relatives have even failed at that."
Someone in the classroom gasped and Rachel saw many shocked and horrified expressions as she moved to take her new seat.
"Now, you will begin reading chapter thirty four. There will be no need for discussion," Professor Umbridge said, collecting a pile of parchment from her desk.
Rachel opened her book to the correct chapter and stared blankly at it. She supposed she should have expected that Professor Umbridge would escalate after she'd been told she couldn't punish Rachel or Millie for missing class. Her aunt had always been worse when she'd been denied something, whether or not Rachel had anything to do with it. At the very least Millie hadn't been caught up in all of this.
She needed to talk to Pansy before Pansy had a chance to talk with Severus. He was going to be upset when he heard about this and it wasn't going to do anyone any good. He couldn't stop Professor Umbridge and it would only make the situation worse if he tried. Maybe she needed to have a talk with Pansy about the things she told Severus in general. She thought she could phrase it that she wanted a little more privacy and that Pansy could understand not wanting her parents to know everything in her life. That sounded better than directly asking Pansy to lie for her.
The chapter was on countercurses, but Rachel was beyond the point of caring. All she wanted was to get through this lesson without winding up in detention. She turned the page, even though she hadn't read the page before it, and continued to stare at it without really seeing it. Her heart rate had slowed back down and now she just felt somewhere between sick and angry.
Maybe she should have said that she'd seen the Dark Lord return? She knew all of her classmates didn't believe that. Maybe if she'd said it now, they would have believed? On the other hand, saying it would have likely wound up with her in detention, and she'd then have to tell Severus all about it, which was what she was trying to avoid. At least she hadn't lied.
Professor Umbridge put down a piece of parchment on Rachel's desk and returned to her own desk.
Knowing that Professor Umbridge was watching, Rachel checked her homework assignment and found that it had been graded D for Dreadful, with no other marks or comments. Reminding herself that it didn't matter, she tucked the assignment under her book and continued to stare at it. She knew how to be passive and how to keep a blank face. She'd learned well how to accept punishment and continue on as if nothing had happened. And, in the grand scheme of things, a bad grade from Professor Umbridge meant nothing at all.
She turned another page in her book and kept staring. She was out of ideas for how else to deal with Professor Umbridge and she wasn't willing to risk provoking her in any way. If this was Professor Umbridge while she was even tempered, she had no desire to see her out of control.
Eventually, after what seemed like an utter eternity, the chime to end class sounded.
"I would like sixteen inches on countercurses and their appropriate use, due next Thursday. You are dismissed," Professor Umbridge said from her desk.
Rachel grabbed her things and left, not willing to even stay long enough to put her book and quill back in her bag. She hurried down the hall and stopped near the end, ready to wait for her friends now that she'd put some space between herself and Professor Umbridge. She dug in her bag for the right place to put her quill so it wouldn't get squished or bent.
"Are you alright?"
She looked up to find Ron Weasley looking at her with what seemed to be concern and anger. "I'm fine. But thanks," she said.
Ron shook his head. "No one would be fine after that. She can't do this. She can't say things like that."
"Professor Dumbledore can't fire her, so she can do whatever she wants," Rachel said shortly, ignoring the rest of it.
"It's not right," Ron insisted.
"That woman," Hermione was muttering to herself as she came up to them. "We have to do something about that horrid woman."
The rest of the study group was right behind her, all looking angry and worried.
"We weren't sure what you wanted us to do," Neville said. "Should we have stood up for you?"
"No. You did just the right thing. Anyone who said anything would have wound up in detention," Rachel said.
"That's what we thought too," Theo said. "I would offer for us to move up to the front of the class with you, but I think that's going to make matters worse."
"I think it will too, but thank you," she said.
"So what do we do?" Millie asked, her arms folded and her face slightly flush.
"I don't think we do anything. After Easter break we have two months of Professor Umbridge and then she's gone. We can do that." She had to believe that they could.
"She seems to be escalating," Hermione said, her brow furrowed with worry.
"She's definitely worse now than she used to be," Ron agreed.
"If it gets worse, we'll deal with it. For now, let it be," Rachel said as firmly as she dared. She spotted Draco standing a ways down the corridor and knew that he'd been tasked with following her. "I'm going to the library to get some homework done. I'll see you all later."
"I'll go with you," Millie said.
"Alright, we'll see you later," Hermione said, meeting Rachel's eyes and nodding.
Rachel nodded back. They would all get to the Room of Requirement once they'd escaped anyone's notice.
"I can't believe Professor Umbridge said those things," Millie said quietly as they entered the library. "I mean, I can, but still. How could she?"
"That's how some people feel about it," Rachel said, not overly concerned. If Professor Umbridge was having students write lines with blood quills then her views on child abuse were already pretty clear.
"I don't think that's even how Death Eaters feel about it," Millie said, glancing behind them as they made their way into the shelves. "We've still got Draco."
"I know, we'll lose him soon. He'll let us." And if he didn't, then they were going to have a talk, and Rachel didn't want to do that right now. She turned into the aisle of shelves that held back issues of the Daily Prophet. Almost no one ever came back here.
About a minute later Draco showed up and pulled his wand.
Rachel tensed, but he just cast a privacy ward around the three of them.
"We need to figure out a better way to do this. Either the two of you need to start showing back up in the library before dinner, or we have to do something else, because she is getting suspicious of me losing you all the time," Draco said.
"You can't just say you saw us in the library before dinner?" Millie asked.
"Not when Simon and Maxwell are camping out in the chairs up front looking for you. If I say you're in the library, and then you show up in the Great Hall without walking through those doors, I'm the one who's in trouble," Draco said.
"We can come back to the library before dinner," Rachel said. If they were being watched that closely, then it was time they made sure they had a linear trail that someone could account for. "We'll talk and figure out what to do with the time after dinner."
"Okay, but not the library, I don't want to be stuck in here all evening," he said.
"Not the library," she agreed. "And not somewhere where other Inquisitorial Squad members can easily hang about the entrance to. We'll think of something."
"You're using Disillusionment charms to get out of here?" Draco asked.
"Yes," she said, though they usually used the cloak.
"Maybe I'll do the same and meet you back here at ten til six."
"We can do that," Millie agreed. "Now, if you'll excuse us."
Draco dismissed the privacy ward and then silently used the Disillusionment charm and disappeared.
"We really need to learn non-verbal casting," Millie said.
"We'll put it on our list," Rachel said, pulling her own wand and casting the Disillusionment charm on herself.
A moment later Millie disappeared as well and they quietly and carefully made their way back out of the library. They went their usual way - up the main staircase to the fourth floor, around the back corridor to the staircase that went to the sixth floor, through the side corridor that somehow let out on the other side of the seventh floor, and then back to the main corridor and down the corridor with the tapestry of the trolls learning ballet.
She knocked on the door to the Room of Requirement and then ended the Disillusionment charm.
Millie reappeared as well. "I almost thought I lost you, I'm used to using the cloak."
"A little easier this way, but it was hard to know where you were too," Rachel said.
The door opened and Ginny peered out. "I was a little worried that all of you are late."
"Rough Defense lesson," Rachel said, heading to the table and gratefully setting down her bag. Maybe she needed to cast a Featherlight charm on it.
"You can say that again," Millie said, taking her usual spot next to her.
"What can we do?" Luna asked.
"Nothing. She'll be gone soon," she said.
"Not soon enough," Ginny said as she sat back down.
Rachel couldn't agree more.