A/N: So all the details on what Cloud Dancing is doing are in no way near historically accurate, plus all mentions of time travel are figments of my imagination. I hope I managed to write this chapter with respect to the cultural heritage of the Native Americans.
I'll forever be grateful for all the help Kruemi is doing by beta-reading this. Three more chapters after this one.
Chapter 10:A week later the planned trip out to the Indian camp was finally happening. Jessica was curious about going out there and she hoped that this Cloud Dancing would help her see what her future would bring. Matthew joined the group going out there, he rode on his horse and trotted behind the rumbling wagon, filled with blankets and other things that Dr. Mike knew the tribe needed.
Jessica was pondering about the many talks she'd had with Sully this past week, she learned his history with the Indians, it sure explained his rather unusual look and view of life in general. It intrigued Jessica and she now wanted to see this place with her own eyes.
After an hour's ride, she finally spotted the first points of the tepees between a grove of trees, and as they got nearer they were met by a horde of happy children. She looked over at Colleen with excitement in her eyes. Her new friend beamed at her happy smile and said, "Are you ready?"
"Yes, well I do hope that Cloud Dancing can help me," Jessica said quietly and turned around so she could watch the happy children greeting them.
When the wagon stopped Jessica stood up and got ready to jump down, then Matthew was there and she smiled her thanks and reached for his hands. He gently eased her down on the ground and she looked up at him in gratitude.
Sully cleared his throat and made them aware that they were not alone right now. Jessica felt her face redden and she quickly stepped back while she tucked back a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. She glanced at Matthew and he looked equally flustered as she felt. He ran a hand through his hair before he secured his hat over the long locks.
"Come, I want you to meet my friend Cloud Dancing," Sully said with a knowing smirk and motioned for Jessica to follow him.
"Hey brother dear, get your head out of the clouds and help me down, hmm?" Colleen grinned and stood with her hands at her side in a mock glare. Jessica laughed while Matthew helped his sister down, too.
"Thanks, I want to go see Cloud Dancing, too. It's been a while since I've last seen him," Colleen said and followed Sully.
They walked to a tepee located on the outskirts of the tribe and Jessica suddenly felt slightly nervous. Matthew placed a reassuring hand on her back as they walked.
"It will be fine, Cloud Dancing is an old family friend who is also very wise and might give you some clues as to where you really come from," Matthew whispered as they stopped in front of Cloud Dancing's home. Jessica let Sully do the talking and waited for the blood brothers to greet each other. It had also been a while since they had seen one another.
When the two men had talked and Cloud Dancing said hello to Dr. Mike and Colleen he turned to Matthew and Jessica. Jessica could feel Matthew's hand on her back and she was happy for his support. Knowing so little about Indians in general she looked at the man now in front of her. His eyes bore into her very soul, or so it seemed. She gulped and was clueless about how to approach the man and how to lay down her request.
Jessica looked to Sully for guidance and he smiled, "Cloud Dancing, this is a new friend of the family, Jessica."
"A friend I see," Cloud Dancing nodded in understanding and let his eyes linger on the arm Matthew still had around Jessica's waist. Then his eyes found Jessica's and she knew he saw something there as a small knowing smile moved over his lips.
"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Cloud Dancing," Jessica finally managed to stutter, and when the smile on his lips only grew she knew she might have messed up a little.
"Cloud Dancing is fine, no need to be so formal around this place." He made a small nod and said, "It's very nice to meet you, Jessica, I see you come from far away and I understand that you seek some guidance."
"Yeah." She shifted on her feet and looked between Matthew to Sully and back to Cloud Dancing. She vaguely noticed that Colleen and Dr. Mike had moved to their mission on this trip. She knew they came with medicine and health checkups for the young children.
"So let's sit by the fire and talk." Cloud Dancing made a sweeping motion with his hand, inviting them to sit with him at his fire outside of the tepee.
"Thank you," she almost stumbled over a small rock on her way and was again relieved that Matthew kept his arm around her.
Finally settled at the fire, she rested her elbows on her knees and rubbed her hands nervously, and kept her gaze on the flames. She wasn't even sure how to formulate her questions for the Indian.
"You seek answers!" It was more a statement than an actual question and Jessica finally looked up at Cloud Dancing. She gave him a timid smile and nodded.
"I'm not from around here, I came here about a month ago. The Sully family took me in and helped me settle down, but the thing is, I'm not even from this time period." The last two words were whispered and she bit her tongue hoping that he would not think her to be barking mad.
When Cloud Dancing remained quiet she dared to look at him again, his eyes were bright and shone with some sort of ancient knowledge that sent a shiver down her spine. When Sully had said his friend was a sagacious man he wasn't kidding.
"I don't know why I'm here, or if I'm ever going back, and if I'm even supposed to be here. Why did this happen to me?" She continued her long line of questions while she kept rubbing her palms together and felt a nervous jitter in her legs.
"You have many questions child and I see the confusion in your soul. There must be a reason for you to be here. I will need to seek guidance and come back to you. You will wait?" Cloud Dancing asked in his soothing voice and nodded to the group. Then he elegantly got to his feet and walked to a different-looking tepee.
"Where is he going?" Jessica asked bewildered and looked at Sully for answers.
"To his sweat lodge, it seems," Sully mused and explained, "he will go on a vision quest and he will seek out the answers you need."
"Okay," Jessica wasn't even sure what to think of all of this, it all sounded so strange and like a load of humbug. She found it difficult to believe that this would work.
"Don't worry, Cloud Dancing is a wise man and I know he has done this before." Matthew tried to explain.
"But I'm not even sure I believe in spirits and all the stuff the Indians believe in. Why would their spirits or Gods or whatever want to help me?" Jessica asked with a sigh and rubbed her face in her hands. She was starting to feel a little lightheaded.
"Don't worry, the spirits will know you no matter who you are, and I know it seems a bit strange if you don't believe in all of this. I know, I've been on a vision quest with him once." Sully explained and continued to tell the tale of his vision quest.
Jessica tried to keep up with Sully's story and was relieved when Matthew somehow found her some water to drink. Her mouth was feeling a little dry all of a sudden.
"Thank you." She said and took a long drink then returned the cup to Matthew who also drank from it. They sat in silence for quite some time and Jessica was feeling so restless that she finally said, "I'm going over and see if Dr. Mike can use my help, this vision quest is taking so long."
Sully looked at the sky and shrugged; "Only half an hour I think, but yes it can take some time." He nodded in understanding and said to Matthew, "You and I can see if the warriors need our help with some building or something."
"Are you okay, Jessie?" Matthew asked before they parted, he stepped closer to Jessica and placed his hand on her arm.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little restless that's all. Thank you," she whispered and suddenly wished they were alone. Matthew grinned knowingly and squeezed her arm in reassurance. Then he walked with Sully toward the group of warriors further in the camp. It suddenly dawned on Jessica that she was standing in the middle of a real Indian camp, something she'd only seen in movies or read about. She scanned the area around her and she couldn't believe she was actually there. But things looked almost like the few things she remembered reading about. The women were busy working on some animal skins nearby or cooked food or other things over the fires that were scattered around the camp. It seemed like an organized place where everyone knew what they were supposed to do at all times.
She spotted Colleen and Dr. Mike at an odd wooden structure, a sort of roof held up by four poles of lumber. Walking closer she realized it was some sort of gathering place and a mock-up chalkboard told her it might even be some sort of attempt to have a school there for the kids.
"Hi, can I help with anything?" Jessica said as she walked to the area where Dr. Mike was currently examining a young boy who looked scared and whimpered when he was prodded on his belly.
"He might have constipation" Dr. Mike turned to a woman who clearly was the boy's mother and told the woman what she could do to help her son.
"Thank you, Doctor, thank you." The woman beamed at Dr. Mike and picked up her boy and scurried off to do whatever her chore was now.
Dr. Mike turned and looked at Jessica with a smile, "Is it taking some time?"
"Yeah, Cloud Dancing went on some vision quest, I have no idea what that even is, but it seems to be something that takes some time." Jessica shifted restlessly on her feet and looked at the waiting group of women and children around them. "I need to do something while I wait."
"Sure, help Colleen check the children's teeth; you will know right away if something is wrong or ask Colleen if you're in doubt." Dr. Mike nodded toward Colleen who was surrounded by a large group of children.
Jessica nodded in understanding and joined her friend and proceeded to spend some time looking at teeth and taking notes for Colleen or Dr. Mike. It was a great way to spend some time, sort of forgetting why she was even there. The children looked at her blond hair in awe and whenever she came close to look into their mouths they would stare openly at her as if they couldn't believe she was real. One child tried to ask her something but the girl could only speak Cheyenne and looked to her mother for help. The young mother looked a little sheepishly as if she didn't want to repeat the girl's question.
"It's fine, I'm curious to hear what she wants to know," Jessica said calmly and gave the mother a reassuring smile.
"My girl wants to know if you're a spirit," she looked down shortly and mumbled, "think your hair beautiful."
Jessica smiled down at the little girl sitting on the table in front of her, and shook her head with a smile, "No spirit, I'm a girl like you." She touched the girl's nose making her giggle and look up at her mother with a grin, then she said the same word again. A word Jessica gathered meant spirit in their language. Shaking her head she pointed to the girl's mouth and said "Open up." She opened her mouth showing her what she wanted her to do.
Finally, she got a peek inside and found no sign of bad teeth. Then she nodded and patted the girl on the shoulder, gave her a thumbs-up, and motioned for her to go with her mother. The girl laughed and jumped down, taking her mother's hand and kept repeating the word for Spirit. Shaking her head, Jessica turned to Colleen and asked, "Are they really that much into all the spirits stuff? I mean no disrespect but just because I'm so blond makes this little girl think I was some sort of spirit?"
"Yeah they are, and well, the girl there just really liked your hair. I guess, not often do they see anyone with blond hair like yours." She pointed to her dark blond, almost brownish hair and shrugged, "My hair apparently isn't blond enough for me to be called a spirit." She laughed and pointed to the next child she wanted to check on.
Jessica laughed along with her friend. Well, it certainly was quite an experience to be here today, she only hoped that she would find the answers she was looking for.
She wasn't sure how long it took until Sully walked over and told her that Cloud Dancing was back. Rubbing her sweaty hands on her hips she walked with him to Cloud Dancing's tepee. The Indian sat in silence by his fire, his dark eyes gazing into the flickering flames as if they saw something beyond this world. A shiver ran down Jessica's spine as she gently sat down next to Matthew who waited for her.
Without giving it much thought she reached for his hand; their connection wasn't lost on the man in front of them. He nodded in contemplation and took a few more minutes and Jessica was about to speak when he finally began.
"You are certainly a woman who traveled between times and beyond. There's a connection to the past that can't be disputed, and you will know when the time comes how this is the reason for you to be here." Jessica tilted her head from side to side, trying to keep up with the words coming out of the Indian's mouth. So far it didn't make much sense to her, but she only nodded and let him continue. Well, at least she hoped he would have more words.
"You are the lost hawk missing its mate, your time searching has been long and you've felt lost and disconnected from the time you lived in. Now you traveled beyond time and place and found the missing part of your heart." Cloud Dancing smiled as he spoke, his eyes lingering on their clasped hands, and nodded, then he turned to Matthew. Jessica felt the jolt moving through him as he now was scrutinized by the Indian's knowing stare.
"You, my old friend, have been lost and suffered much grief and pain."
Jessica felt Matthew tense up at this, and she knew Cloud Dancing was talking about Ingrid, well the spirits hadn't told him this, everyone knew Matthew lost his fiancé not long ago. But Matthew didn't even utter one word, only kept his gaze on the fire in front of him. His jaw clenching a little, Jessica rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, letting him know she was there.
Cloud Dancing nodded and looked like he was searching for the right words, "You found your mate, who left this earth far too soon. The spirits saw your loss and pain, and your happiness is now regained. Shifting times was the answer and it brought back happiness to your life."
Matthew looked as mystified as Jessica and they both looked at Sully for clarifications, he merely shrugged and said gently to his friend. "What does this mean for the young couple here?"
"It means that you both have been searching for that missing mate, like the hawk flying high in the sky. It can only settle down when the right mate finds it, and in your case, that means the spirits have moved and shifted and bent the rules of time." Cloud Dancing stopped talking and looked as if he had finished the tale of his vision quest.
Matthew cleared his throat and began, "Ehm does that mean she, I mean Jessica came here for me?" He shifted a glance to Jessica who gapped at Cloud Dancing in shock.
Cloud Dancing nodded in his usual calm manner and said, "I saw two hawks, separated by time and space, both seeking their mates. Something happened in the line of time, a shift, and the female hawk was whirling into a storm and suddenly found herself soaring over Pikes Peak, where she met the lone male hawk. They nested and found peace."
"Nested?" Jessica asked curiously and wondered what that meant.
Cloud Dancing chuckled and smiled, "You will know soon enough." With this final word he rose from his seat and bowed his head in farewell.
Matthew turned to Jessica and when she saw the tiny smile playing around his lips she couldn't help but grin a little herself. Well, it seemed the spirits were agreeing to this thing happening between them.
Matthew was trying to wrap his head around the words they'd just heard from Cloud Dancing and he sort of understood the meaning but how it happened wasn't clear.
Jessica looked like she was equally as confused, yet her eyes did seem to twinkle a little bit more than they used to.
"So that was quite an interesting vision quest Cloud Dancing was on there—" Matthew said and rubbed his neck trying to put everything together.
"Yeah, it sure was. Well, as crazy as it might seem it does appear as if we are somehow connected. But I'm not sure why or how all of this happened. I mean I've no connection to this place other than I've been living not far from Colorado Springs, well only in another time. So I don't know what else there could be."
"I know, it does seem a bit odd that you traveled back in time, it does sound like some sort of fairytale of sorts," Matthew said and finally took her hand and finished, "But I like the idea that the spirits seem to approve of our courtship."
"Courtship?" Jessica asked in surprise. "Is that what we're doing here, I mean I know that is what you call this here."
"If you want to, I know that you don't have a family I can properly ask." He mused and shrugged; he wasn't even sure how they would continue this.
"Well, I'm no expert in how things like this are done here, so I'm sort of just following my heart," Jessica said with a small smile.
"So what does your heart tell you?" He held his breath, as he knew in a way what he hoped she would say. After the summer dance they'd connected even more and their time together was only making him want this even more.
"I'm pretty sure my heart says that I like you, as in I like you a lot. And I want to get to know you more, and if all this vision quest is true I sort of sense that we can't be all wrong about us," Jessica said and took his hand, letting her fingers slide over the ridges of his knuckles and veins running up his hand. She bit her lip and found his eyes and he nodded in understanding.
"I'm feeling the same. It's a strange feeling to sit here with you, knowing that you somehow traveled through time and landed right here. I mean that can't be a coincidence in any way or form, the universe, the spirits, God, whoever rules this world saw fit for you to come here into this town." He tried to explain everything going on inside of him, his heart was beating at the very thought of her belonging to him somehow. He'd felt connected to her from the moment she opened her blue eyes.
Looking into those blue orbs he suddenly felt compelled to tell her something, something about Ingrid. It was always difficult for him to talk about his loss but he knew that Jessica would understand.
He reached up and cupped her face urging her to keep her eyes on his. "Look, I do not talk about my loss very much, my family knows this, they respect that. But when you woke up in that recovery room, right after I brought you to the clinic, I was in there alone, and when I saw your blue eyes I felt a spark and connection with you…" He cleared his throat and took a short pause, he wasn't sure how she would understand his next words.
"Why?" she asked gently, and placed her hand over his, leaning into his touch.
"Your eyes," he paused, "your eyes look so much like Ingrid's it sort of scared me the first time. Dr. Mike thought I'd seen a ghost when she came into the room." He grinned and kept his eyes on her, trying to see what her reaction to this revelation would be.
Jessica only gaped at him and blinked her eyes a few times, then she sucked in her lower lip and shifted her gaze to something over his shoulder. He turned and looked but saw nothing that could catch her attention.
"What is it?" he asked, "Was it too much?" His fingers gently nudged her cheek, imploring her to look at him again. When she finally did she looked a little calmer.
"I just remembered something we found out not long after I got here. Dr. Mike said I might try to look at the old newspapers to see if something triggered my memory somehow." She shrugged.
"Did you find anything?" He held his breath and felt a shiver run over his body as her eyes bore into his own. Somehow those eyes connected him to Ingrid right at this moment, but nothing prepared him for Jessica's next words.
"My last name is Bergman."
Matthew's jaw dropped and his whole body was vibrating with so much energy and emotions that he was finding it hard to even remember how to breathe.
"What does that mean?" he heard himself whisper and his mind was running wild with endless possibilities.
"I have no idea, but Colleen said that Ingrid's last name was Bergman, so after everything we just heard today from Cloud Dancing I suppose it does mean something." Jessica shook her head and looked down, Matthew could see how much this confused her, too.
"Whatever it means we will figure it out, I'm not going to back away if you worry about that," Matthew reassured her.
"I know and I understand if you're in shock. I would be too, I mean I can't be related to Ingrid, can I? She died before giving birth to any baby." Jessica asked gently and the mentioning of a baby shot a jolt of long-lost grief through Matthew, all the things he wanted to have with Ingrid, family, and children were one of his big dreams.
"She did have a sister, who looked much like her. I imagine she was a bit younger though. The Bergman's moved further west, to Los Angeles I believe. I lost touch with them after they moved," Matthew mused out loud, his mind was running ever so fast trying to understand what this meant.
"Wow, you think I can be related to Ingrid's sister somehow? Or brother?" Jessica asked in wonder.
"I don't know, all I know is you share their name and you have their Scandinavian blue eyes. Blue like the lightest of blue summer skies," Matthew said and caught her flickering gaze, she looked so insecure about this whole situation. "Look, we will not fret more about this, we will believe this is meant to be and I want to know you more and court you if you'll let me."
"I would love nothing more, Matthew, but it still gives us something to think about though, it could be connected to that whole tale Cloud Dancing just told us, with the lone hawks and all that time jumping thing." Jessica waved her hand aimlessly in the air.
"I'm glad you feel like that." Matthew smiled and let his fingers caress her cheek, when she smiled back he leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss, mindful of the fact they were out in the open and visiting their Indian friends.
Someone cleared their throat not long after and they both jumped apart, looking up at Sully sheepishly.
"So Cloud Dancing said the vision quest was a success and I see you are already celebrating." Sully laughed when they both tried to not look at the other. "Never mind, I understand your happiness. Come on, Dr. Mike and Colleen are finished with their work and we will head back to the town and you can share what Cloud Dancing said if you want to." Sully motioned with his head in the direction of where Dr. Mike and Colleen were waiting for them by the wagon.
Matthew helped Jessica rise from her seat and they linked their arms together and walked over to the wagon, getting ready to drive back home. Colleen looked like she had thousands of questions bubbling inside of her, ready to burst out. Matthew shook his head at this, he knew his sister wouldn't give up until they at least told her something.
"If you don't want to share all of this with them we won't," Matthew leaned over and whispered in Jessica's ear, he noticed her shiver when his breath hit her neck. He grinned when a blush crept up her skin.
"I don't mind," Jessica said and let Matthew help her onto the wagon.
On the drive back to town Matthew filled in his family on what Cloud Dancing had told them. The rest of the family was very surprised at this news. When he let them know that he noticed how much Jessica's eyes were similar to Ingrid's they all looked at Jessica, she hunched her shoulders and shrugged. "I'm not even sure what that means."
"Well, it has to mean something, right, Ma?" Colleen turned to her mother and expected an answer.
"I don't know, Colleen, I really don't, but it's clear that they do share a connection that somehow expanded beyond time and place. However strange that might sound," Dr. Mike said and looked between Matthew and Jessica with a small smile on her lips.
Matthew was relieved that they all seemed to accept their courtship and didn't give much fuss about the fact that Jessica might be some sort of descendant of Ingrid's family. He looked down at Jessica who by now rested her head on his shoulder. He placed his arm securely around her and she sighed in contentment. She glanced up at him with a knowing smile on her lips. Yes, they did share something special and Matthew was looking forward to finding out everything else there was to know about this woman resting in his arms. He felt their hearts beat in unison and the image of two hawks circling the sky passed before his eyes. The birds found a nest and started their life together, just like he and Jessica.