Memories

.

Sirius didn't take his eyes off Petunia during the entire dinner. As usual, Molly arranged the table so that the marauder sat next to the woman. Everyone in the house was completely oblivious to the two of them. Well, almost everyone. Harry, who was sitting at the opposite end of the wide wooden table, couldn't take his eyes off the two of them. He didn't even pay attention to the conversation between his friends, who were whispering excitedly about the products the twins were developing.

The marauder barely touched the food on his plate, his heart had risen to his throat and was preventing anything from passing through. He took a few sips of his Fire Whiskey, but that was it. The meal was running painfully long for him. All he wanted was for everyone to finish eating at once and go up to their rooms, so he could finally fix things with Petunia.

The woman wasn't much better. She could feel Sirius' eyes burning her, but she didn't dare look back. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck creep under her loose hair, and she stirred at her fork enough that Molly didn't notice that she had barely touched her food. When Arthur pushed his plate forward and gave a big yawn, Sirius felt that the moment he had been waiting so long for was near.

Fortunately, Remus was very observant and suggested that everyone collect themselves to rest, as the next day would be full. Apparently, there was still a boggart inside the desk drawer and some bats that would need to take care of. And then, finally, the kitchen slowly emptied out. Sirius waved his wand and collected all the pans and crockery at once, which began to magically wash away in the sink. Tonks was the last to get up, and when she did, Petunia finally faced Sirius. She swallowed dryly.

"This is your last chance" she said, pretending to be more determined than she really was.

"I know", he replied, feeling a lump in his throat. Sirius held out his trembling hand to Petunia, after a few seconds staring at his calloused and very white palm, held it out. Sirius felt a shock run through his entire body. Maybe it was because her hand was so warm in contact with his, which was so cold, or maybe it was the electricity that always existed between them.

Sirius led her down the corridors, concentrating so that his legs wouldn't fail him. He was so nervous! Petunia hadn't let go of his hand, so that could mean a good sign. Still, he pressed her palm against his. The two of them walked in silence to Orion's old office, and it was the first time the woman had ever entered that room.

It was all very dark and old, with tall, wide ebony bookshelves crammed with books that she was sure were not safe for people like her. The room looked exactly how Petunia would imagine the home of a villain from some fantasy book, and if she stopped to think about it, the reality wasn't much different from that. Orion had been a terrible father, and Petunia remembered in rich detail the day Sirius had turned up at her house, covered in blood and completely bruised. All thanks to the man who once occupied that office.

Sirius released Petunia's hand and hesitantly drew his wand from his pocket. Petunia watched him as he muttered something and nodded towards a large, solid wood cabinet. The woman heard, even in the distance, gears working behind the cupboard, as if it were a large clock or a large safe. When the noise ceased, the doors opened and revealed a large silver basin, ornamented with symbols she knew were runes. She remembered how Lily had complained that she had difficulty absorbing that particular subject.

The basin floated over to them and Sirius carefully held it up and then positioned it on top of the large table that still had a few stacks of papers and old inkwells. He stared at her with stormy eyes and Petunia saw how vulnerable he was at that moment. Without taking his eyes off her for a second, Sirius pointed his wand at his own temple, and the woman saw a long, thick silver thread tie itself from his head to the tip of the wand. The man slowly pulled the wand away from his own head, but the thread seemed to have no end. After long seconds, he deposited the contents into the basin and beckoned Petunia to come closer.

"What's that?" she asked, frowning.

"A pensieve" Sirius explained. "They are quite rare objects, Orion was one of the few living wizards to own one", he looked at her and swallowed dryly. "I said I would show you everything".

"Show me?" she asked, curious and also fearful.

"Yes" Sirius replied and took her hand in his again. "All my memories are here, at least all of those which can sanction the questions you have and I fail so hard to answer" the marauder pointed to the silver thread dancing at the bottom of the basin. "I will put my head in here, and you need to do the same, understand?"

Petunia nodded positively and watched as Sirius stuck his head into the basin. Taking a deep breath, closing her eyes and locking the air inside her lungs, she did the same, and felt as if she was falling, until her feet finally touched the ground. When she finally opened her eyes, she was surprised to find herself in the middle of the living room of Lily and James' old house. Sitting on the sofa were her late brother-in-law, with hair as wild as Harry's, and a rather younger version of Sirius.

She looked away, where the current Sirius was still holding her hand. He looked sadly at his young version and James, and Petunia followed the direction of his gaze.

"She was responsible" the young Sirius sitting on the couch commented. He had a glass of Fire Whiskey between his palms, which were trembling.

"Bellatrix?", James questioned, and Sirius nodded positively. "How do you know?"

Sirius dropped his glass on the coffee table and wiped his tears away with the back of his hands.

"You didn't see what I saw..." the brunette rascal began, "They were... Merlin, Prongs! They were burnt, completely burnt! Moody said they were..." Sirius lowered his tone and faced James with watery eyes. "Moody said they were tortured to death".

Petunia swallowed dryly. She suspected she knew who they were talking about.

"I don't know what to do" the young Sirius propped his elbows on his knees and lowered his head, gripping his own hair with his fingers.

"Pads, this isn't your fault" James tried to say, placing a hand affectionately on his friend's shoulder.

"It is! It's my family", Sirius replied in a broken voice. "How am I supposed to tell Tuny that my bloody cousin killed her parents?"

Petunia felt thick tears running down her cheeks. She could feel Sirius' gaze burning her, but she couldn't take her eyes off the younger version of the man. A cake was forming in her throat.

"We're your family" James was trying to console the other naughty boy. "Me, Tuny, Lily, Remus and Peter. We are your family!".

Sirius squeezed Petunia's hand hard at the mention of Peter's name. The scene suddenly began to cloud over and before long everything was dark. Again Petunia had the feeling she was falling through the void, until she landed in the middle of a large, golden hall. She had never been in that place before. She heard footsteps and looked towards the sound.

Young Sirius was walking hurriedly beside a creature that Petunia thought was a goblin. The goblin looked not very happy. It had a long nose and pointed ears, and checked its pocket watch every couple of seconds. The real Sirius, the one next to Petunia, pulled her by the hand so that they would follow his young version and the goblin.

The woman couldn't say exactly how long they walked down long, tall corridors, but at one point they arrived in front of a large vault. When the goblin opened the vault, Petunia lost her breath. She had never seen so much gold in all her life. Piles and more piles of gold, pictures with frames of pure silver, and objects as valuable as coins scattered on the floor.

"It's Uncle Alphard's vault" Sirius whispered to her.

Young Sirius stepped into the vault and looked around, as if searching for something. Curious, Petunia let go of the adult Sirius' hand and followed the young version of him. She watched as he cracked a smile, the same smile that took the air out of his lungs, at the sight of a large silver cabinet. The boy opened an ornate drawer and from there he took out a small green velvet case. When he opened the case, Petunia saw a beautiful silver ring, with a single sapphire stone, encased in small diamonds.

"I can't wait to see the look on Prongs' face when Sirius Black gets engaged to Petunia Evans, he'll owe me five galleons" the young Sirius commented to himself, with a mocking smile stamped on his face. Petunia locked her breath and barely noticed when the real Sirius caught up with her stopping beside her.

"I've always wanted you, Tuny" Sirius told her, his eyes watering. "Always".

Petunia stared at him feeling her own eyes watering, and then everything went dark again. By now, the woman was getting used to the dizziness of being transported from one memory to another. When her feet touched the ground once more, Petunia found herself in the middle of their old flat.

She heard the sound of the door being opened and a young Sirius hurried into the room with a smile on his face.

"Tuny?" the boy threw the jacket on a chair and pulled out of his trouser pocket the green case. He smiled looking at the object. "I have a surprise for you, what do you say we have dinner at that muggle restaurant your friend mentioned? The one with the pink tarts you like?"

Three knocks were heard on the window, and the young Sirius turned startled towards the source of the sound. Petunia and the adult Sirius followed him. There was, by the window frame, a large black raven with a scroll wrapped around its paw. The young Sirius seemed to know the animal, for he opened the window startled and pulled out the parchment, swatting the animal away soon after.

Petunia watched as the young Sirius put the green case back into his trouser pocket and opened the parchment. The woman felt her heart go to her mouth when she finally viewed the contents of the letter. It was their picture, except that over her face were large, magical red letters forming a single word, a word that Petunia knew because shortly after Harry's birth, a couple of Lily's friends had fallen victim to that curse. They had been tortured to madness and had left a baby, the same age as Harry, practically orphaned. It was probably the same word responsible for the death of her own parents.

Everything went dark again, and when Petunia opened her eyes, she was still in the flat. However, now her young version was there too. It was strange to see herself from that perspective, but any curiosity she might have felt died when she realised what memory it was about.

"I... I can't see that" Sirius stammered beside her and turned away from the scene, closing his eyes tightly. Petunia, however, kept looking at her young version. She didn't feel able to take her eyes off the scene, even though she knew how much that memory hurt her.

She relived, from a third person perspective, the moment Sirius broke her heart. She saw herself fetch a small amount of clothes from inside her room and punch it into a bag. She watched herself walk on shaky legs to the door, hesitate, and then drop her key with a pink pom-pom keychain by the sideboard in the hall.

Petunia watched as the young Sirius walked to the door and collapsed. The boy clutched the pompom keychain against his chest and cried against the closed door. Petunia had never seen Sirius in that state, not even when the Potters had passed away. He was as broken as she was. She saw, through her tear-fogged eyes, the young Sirius take the photo from inside his pocket and start punching the objects. He screamed and cried and broke everything in his path, and only there did Petunia realise that she was sobbing as much as the Sirius of the memory.

Everything went dark one last time, and then Petunia and Sirius were in Orion's office again. The woman swallowed a sob and wiped her tears away with the tip of her index fingers, and faced Sirius. The man had tears in his eyes and his lips were trembling almost imperceptibly. Hesitantly, he approached her and held her hands.

"Why did you never tell me?" she asked in a whisper. She could feel Sirius' breath leaving his lungs and dancing through the air to her face.

"Because I thought you were going to leave for the States. I thought you would go away and be safe and that everything would be all right when the war was over. I-I was so dumb!", Sirius replied sobbing, and Petunia lifted her face, facing him with eyes red and wet from tears.

"You loved me" she whispered. It wasn't a question, it was a realisation. Sirius had loved her. God, he had loved her as much as she still loved him.

Sirius shook his head to the side in negative, and finally took her face between his large, cold, calloused hands. He didn't trust his own voice, but he knew he needed, once and for all, to make things right, to leave no room for doubt. He was tired of suffering and, by Merlin, of making Petunia suffer.

"I love you" Sirius stated in a firm voice, despite the knot that was in his throat. "I have always loved you, from the day I saw you in that yellow raincoat. I went on loving you the whole time we were together, I still loved you when I broke your heart. I still loved you when we saw each other at Harry's first birthday. Gods, how it hurt to see you and not say that I love you, not beg you to take me back. I still loved you through the twelve years I was in prison, and I still love you now. I will always love you, with all my heart, with all my soul. I love you, Tuny, my gorgeous, gorgeous girl, and all I want is to prove it to you every day of my life. I know that can't erase all the suffering I've caused, but I beg you to let me try".

Petunia took Sirius' mouth in hers and he didn't even hesitate to respond to the kiss. The kiss was wet and salty from both of their tears. It was an intense kiss, where the two of them put all the years of feeling on the tip of their tongues, in the brushing of their teeth, in the taste of their lips. Sirius wrapped around her waist with one hand, while his other held the back of her neck possessively. Petunia almost stumbled, but Sirius supported her and guided her until her back was sticking to the wall. The marauder broke the kiss and, panting, looked into her eyes. Grey clouds of a stormy night in the greenish blue of a deep lake on a summer's day.

"I just want you to love me again" he whispered against her lips.

"I never stopped loving you, baby" Petunia replied in a low voice, and Sirius smiled at his old nickname before taking her mouth again. This time, the marauder was gentler. Since he had escaped from Azkaban, every time he had been with Petunia, he had been so desperate for her touch, so drowned in longing, that he hadn't taken the opportunity to enjoy her fully. And by the gods, that was all he wanted to do at that moment.

Petunia had her arms splayed across Sirius' shoulders as the man wrapped her around his waist and anchored her body to his. He gently reached for the hem of the blouse she wore, just enough to be able to squeeze her skin between his fingers and feel the contrast in temperature between the two of them. The woman, in turn, buried her slender fingers between the dark strands of his hair and sighed when Sirius brushed his teeth against her lips, holding them in a delicate bite.

The man's heart beat hard and fast against her chest, causing the sound of the two organs to echo like an orchestra in the middle of that room. Sirius parted Petunia's legs with his knee and slid his hands all over the length of her body, until he finally managed to flatten his hands against her buttocks and pull her up, fitting himself between her legs.

Petunia gasped against his mouth. She could feel him between her legs, and the sensation of having him there, wanting her, as he kissed her intensely and slowly, was intoxicating. And he was so tender, as if he wanted to make it clear beyond any doubt that he loved her, that he had always loved her. Sirius traced a path of kisses down the entire length of her jaw, and Petunia sighed throwing her head back, exposing her neck so he could access more pieces of her. Sirius kissed her on her newly exposed skin, rubbing the tip over his tongue and tasting her perfume.

"Say you love me, Tuny" Sirius whispered against her ear, taking the woman's earlobe between his teeth and sliding his cold, callused hands inside her blouse. Petunia felt his icy fingers too close to her breasts and closed her eyes. "Say you love me and I will make you see stars".

"I I-love you, Sirius" she replied breathlessly. "I love you".

Sirius smiled and kissed her mouth, moving down the length of her neck, shoulder and neck again with his lips. Skillfully, the man slid Petunia's blouse over her head, leaving her with only a simple, white bra. He then kissed her right in the center of her chest, fitting his face between her breasts.

"You're perfect", he whispered, and his breath against the newly exposed skin of her torso tickled. Petunia's smile grew as Sirius ran the entire length of her belly with the tip of his tongue, until he reached her navel. He paused there for a few seconds, only to undo her belt and pull her trousers down. Sirius smiled at the sight of her damp, stained panties. With his fingertips, he touched the wetness of the fabric and Petunia gasped. "You have always been so responsive to me, it drives me completely crazy".

The woman was so engrossed in the sensations Sirius was causing in her body that she found herself unable to formulate a coherent response. The man moistened his own lips and knelt in front of Petunia, pulling off her panties. He squeezed her thighs together and guided one of the woman's legs up over his shoulder and kissed her inner thigh with moist lips. When Sirius finally kissed her there, Petunia instinctively grabbed his hair, and the man let out a moan. The sound vibrated against Petunia's most sensitive part and she found herself moaning too.

Sirius was finally giving Petunia the attention he had wanted since the two had met again. He was licking and sucking and nibbling at her, eliciting loud moans from the woman that sounded like music to his ears. She grew wetter and wetter, and her fluids mixed with his own saliva, and he drank from her like her cunt was a cup of his favorite juice. And it was. Sirius thought about relying on the help of his fingers, but in the back of his mind, a memory came like a tornado and he buried his tongue inside her. Petunia moaned loudly and muttered something incoherent, squeezing his black strands between her fingers and twitching her thighs. Sirius repeated the gesture once, twice, three, four times. He remembered that she liked that, that she went completely soft with it, and then he sucked her like an ice cream until she came against his mouth.

Petunia's legs were soft, but Sirius wasn't finished with her. Standing up again, he led her over to Orion's table, lifting her into the air and placing her sitting against the dark wood. The pensieve was already forgotten on the cold floor. Sirius spread her legs apart and fitted himself there in the middle. He pulled his own t-shirt off over his head and felt painfully hard against the jeans he was wearing. Petunia was panting stared at him with desire, so Sirius took her mouth once more, making her taste herself. The woman tried to undo the buttons of his trousers, but Sirius stopped her with a firm motion of his hands.

"I'm not done with you" Sirius whispered against her neck, licking and sucking at her skin. "For months I've been trying to take it slow, enjoy every bit of you, show you how much I love you, how much I want you, how much I need you..."

"I need you too" Petunia replied in a broken whisper.

"And you will have me" he promised, looking into her eyes. Burning her with those eyes that looked like liquid silver. "You will have me, but only after I have you".

Sirius kissed her again, and gently inserted a finger inside her. She was warm, and moist, and velvety, and perfect. Petunia moaned his name, and Sirius grunted against her lips. He inserted another finger and began massaging her clit with his thumb while his other two fingers played inside her. The woman instinctively leaned back and arched her hips, begging for more contact. Sirius smiled against her neck. He was a damn lucky bastard. Life had been cruel to him and yet he felt lucky. He had the woman he loved in his arms, her languid body arching, seeking his contact, seeking his touch. Her voice penetrated his ears, and she said his name. She moaned his name sweetly, saying how much she wanted him, how much she loved him, how good he was making her feel, and Merlin, he almost gave himself away at that very moment. Sirius was still wearing trousers and knew that if his name kept dancing on the tip of her tongue, he would end come right there against the jeans that covered his body.

And so he let Petunia undo the buttons of his trousers and release his cock that was begging for her. Sirius entered her slowly, still determined to enjoy every second to the fullest. He moved slowly, his eyes glued to Petunia's, who could barely sustain his naughty gaze. She was fighting the urge to close her eyes and give herself completely over to just the sensations he was giving her, and it was mesmerising him.

Sirius was gentle, loving and caring, and Petunia caught herself thinking that she had never loved him as much as she did in that moment, she wanted to keep him there forever, wanted the two of them to stay there, connected, their bodies sweaty and entwined, forever. The blonde leaned forward and took Sirius' face between her palms, he stared at her with his mercury eyes, and she smiled. He was still moving slowly inside her, and he was so close... So close. She was too, and it was only when Sirius felt her body contracting around his cock that, with one last roar, he let himself go.

Petunia dropped her completely limp body backwards, laying on her back on the table. The woman held out her arms to Sirius, inviting him to join her, but the man pulled her forward and took her in his arms. He led her over to a sofa near the fireplace in Orion's office and laid her down on the upholstery. Sirius lay on top of her and closed or eyes with a smile on his face as Petunia proceeded to stroke his cheek with her warm fingertips.

"Do you forgive me?", Sirius asked, and Petunia smiled at him in a way that warmed the naughty boy's heart.

"You really don't know the answer after... Well, absolutely everything we just did?" she teased, and Sirius turned his face to the side and captured her palm in a tender kiss. He stared into her greenish blue eyes again.

"I need to hear it" he replied.

"I love you, Sirius" Petunia replied seriously. "I love you, and I forgive you. Now you need to forgive yourself".

"I will try" he assured and smiled weakly at Petunia. "But it's going to be hard, I can't stop thinking about how different everything would be if I hadn't made the decisions I did".

"Different how?"

"Maybe Harry would have had his parents alive" Sirius blurted out. It was the first time he had put those thoughts out loud. "Maybe... Maybe the two of us... Maybe we'd both have our own children, together. Our family".

Sirius looked vulnerable and his face stamped pain. Petunia propped herself up on her elbows and kissed him on the lips affectionately.

"Harry has both of us now" she whispered, gluing her forehead to his and closing her eyes. Sirius repeated the gesture and inhaled the scent emanating from her hair. "You're here and I'm here, and that's what matters... As for children, we are still young".

Sirius opened his eyes immediately and stared at her.

"I would love a little flower walking the halls of this house" Sirius was surprised at the sincerity of the words that left his lips.

"A little flower?", Petunia asked, smiling, and Sirius smiled at her, kissing her on the lips.

"Yes, a little flower. Following your family tradition, you know?" he said, playing with a lock of her hair. "You're my Petunia, we could have... I don't know, a Daisy?"

"I like Daisy" Petunia replied in a whisper, smiling at him. "A star too, who knows?"

Sirius frowned and pretended to cogitate on the possibility, drawing a low laugh from Petunia.

"Tell me more about that star", he teased.

"Well..." Petunia began, wrapping her arms around Sirius' torso and gluing herself to his body. He smelled of 'home'. "A little boy with your hair and your eyes... Asterion"

"Asterion?", Sirius questioned, with a wide smile on his face. "You really seem invested in following the tradition of stars and dogs, don't you?"

Petunia let out a laugh.

"Daisy and Asterion…" Sirius murmured hopefully, pressing Petunia against himself. "I can't wait to clear my name and finally meet our little Daisy and Asterion".

And he was. Gods, he could hardly believe it. After fifteen years, he was finally standing there with Petunia in his arms. He was a lucky bastard indeed! And once he could prove his innocence, he would be the damn lucky bastard he always wanted to be. He'd live the life he always wanted to live. He'd have Petunia, he'd have Harry, and he'd have his own kids. He'd have his own family. Merlin, he'd have his own family! Feeling tears in his eyes, he squeezed Petunia tighter and sank his nose into her hair. The two of them slept embraced on that old sofa in the middle of Orion Black's office.