Chapter 47: The Show Must Go On
I blearily open my eyes, and I'm back in the white-walled infirmary. For a moment of blind panic, I think that everything I just went through was all a morphling-induced dream. Are the Games really over?
It takes me a moment to notice Cressa sitting next to my bed. She looks at me with concern as I sit up in my bed. I reach to pull a large tube out of my mouth, but a doctor rushes over and pushes my hand away.
"Get back down, Mr. Murdock," she orders. "You have a long day ahead of you."
Cressa stands over me, clearly reading my expression even though I can't speak.
"You did it, Soren," she exhales. "It's over."
And that's all I need to hear. At long last, this endless torture is over. I've won.
I'm discharged from the infirmary an hour later, and I'll be honest and say that I wish I wasn't. I wish I could say that I wanted to get out of there and see everyone, be crowned, and go home… but my body clearly isn't ready. It feels like the gash that Marcus left on my chest is far from being fully healed, and my chest burns as Indigo crushes me in a hug.
"I knew you could do it!" she sobs. "You were just fabulous!"
Indigo jitters the whole way through the Training Center, almost falling down the stairs as she fusses over me on the way to my dressing room.
Cressa is waiting for me outside the dressing room, and she exchanges greetings with Indigo before turning back to me.
"Here's the plan," she says, her tone serious. "Just get through this interview, Soren. I know you're injured - I'm sorry - but you have to. Clearly, these people don't care about how you're feeling. We're all just characters to them, you know that, and the show must go on."
"I told them they should have let you rest…" Indigo mutters under her breath behind me. "But they never listen…" I decide not to mention that she clearly wasn't thinking about my injuries when she almost split my wound back open during our hug earlier.
"Okay," I huff in response, out of breath from the walk. I've probably been laying on the hospital bed for a few days now, so it feels like I've just run a mile.
My stylists are experts, and they have me dressed and prepared in fifteen minutes. Indigo whisks me away to the stage, and I feel like I'm about to pass out. A grueling schedule can do that to you when you've been stuck in a hospital bed for three days.
The crowd is always massive at the interviews, but I've never seen this many people in the crowd. Somehow, the Gamemakers added yet another balcony in the span of the last few weeks to seat even more people in the audience.
The crowd cheers as Ross welcomes me to the stage. My right side is on fire, and the sound of the crowd is overwhelming. Even the lights seem more blinding than usual. I've done this before, though. I find my way to Ross, who offers me a too-tight handshake, and we sit.
It's no surprise that I have to watch a recap of the Games live. It's what they do every year. I swivel my chair to see the screen behind me, and the video begins.
Considering the circumstances, one would think that it would be easier for me to rewatch the Games compared to twenty-five years ago. I was a kid back then, and I cried like a baby on stage when I had to watch all of my friends die. It's not easier, though, because this time, it's my friends. Unlike twenty-five years ago, though, I'm not afraid, and I know that the Capitol can't make me watch anything, so I stare at the ground instead. I can't stand to watch all of these people die again.
I can't plug my ears, though. That would be too obvious. So I have to listen as Scarlett almost kills me in the Bloodbath. I listen as Florence's clone kills Luna, and as the real Florence is killed by Mac. I hear for the first time as Ruth drowns, and as Decimus stabs Daphne to death.
The only thing that gets me through the recap is knowing they all died with a purpose. All I can repeat in my head is it's over, it's over, it's over. The Games are over now, and it's because of us. Because of those who died.
The end of the Games finally arrives, and I watch myself fight Marcus. I'm startled at what I see - I almost look like a different person, covered in dirt and sweat as I wrestle with Marcus on the ground. My eyes look different too, filled with a determination and rage I haven't seen in them before. I watch myself hold Marcus and slit his throat before letting him lay on me, too exhausted to move.
Ross turns to me. The audience is silent.
"What a spectacular Games. Soren, how are you feeling?"
"Those were my friends, Ross," I state plainly. My eyes are trained on the floor. "It was hard to see them die the first time. Even the ones who wanted to kill me. We all shared something that only we had, and that was being a Victor. The truth is that we were a large family, and we had to kill each other. But I'm grateful to be the one sitting here today."
"Now Soren," Ross says, leaning in as if sharing a secret, "our audience really wants to know. One could argue that you only made it as far as you did because of the help of your former ally, Lacie, who was a muttation - a clone, one could say - placed in the Arena for the sole purpose of guiding you to the rainbow island. Now, all six tributes were guided by their former allies to the island, but you were the only one who didn't kill your partner. Lacie could have turned on you at any time - why did you trust her so much?"
"Lacie would never betray me," I say confidently. "The difference between me and the others is that Lacie sacrificed herself for me. She's the smartest person I ever met, and I knew that the benefits of keeping her alive would outweigh the risks. And they did."
"Well, Lacie wasn't the only partner you found in the Arena. At points in the Games, you grew very close with your District partner, Daphne, along with Ruth, Luna, and even Marcus. How will you move forward without these allies?"
It's almost like Ross is asking me "why haven't you killed yourself yet to spare yourself from the pain?" I almost chuckle at the ridiculous question, but I calm myself and answer. Just get through the interview, Soren. Come on.
"I'll certainly never forget everyone I encountered in the Arena," I tell Ross. "So many people cared about me in that Arena and wanted me to be here, and that's the only reason I am. I'm grateful to have met all of them. Even Decimus and Scarlett."
Thinking about my friends makes me shudder. Daphne, Ruth, Florence, Mac… they all had their whole lives ahead of them. More than anything else, I feel horribly selfish. How could I have killed Marcus so brutally like that? I'm in my forties, he's so young.
I can't keep thinking like that. I had to do it for my family. I know Lacie would have wanted me to do what I did, especially after her sacrifice. Still, I can't help but feel selfish for taking the victory for myself.
"That's so special," Ross says, his eyes glistening. "Well, Soren, your Victory this year was a spectacular one and put such a wonderful end to the Hunger Games. And we have a surprise for you: two fellow Victors, your siblings!"
I turn, and there's Jasmine, running across the stage to me. I lift myself from my chair slowly as the crowd cheers. Roman is close behind her, and they hug me tightly.
"You did it," Jasmine sighs in my ear, and I grin. The Hunger Games are over, and I'm alive to see it happen.