Dad was sitting in the kitchen with Billy, talking about mom. Whispering at times and then raising his voice at others. This was something I shouldn't hear. But I tried anyway, hiding in the hall, back pressed against the wall like that'd make me invisible.

"She's trying to keep her down there," Dad said. I swallowed and peeked around the doorway. He looked panicked. "Wants me to come down if I want to see her."

"It's fine, Charlie," Billy said, his voice calm. "Renee can't do much. She agreed to this at the beginning. And courts take that sort of agreement into account."

Dad ran a hand around his neck, and he gave a jerky nod to his head. He looked close to tears– no– he was already crying. He swiped at his cheeks then pressed into his eyes. "I'm just so worried. Bella needs both her parents– but everything I read says courts favor the mother. And you know how Renee is."

"Charismatic and willful." Billy said, "She's good at convincing people. I'll give her that." My dad nodded, and Billy continued. "Hey, look at what you can control. You're not a negligent father—"

The phone rang above me, and I panicked, then tried to skitter away, upstairs, skipping the squeaky step. I heard Dad pick up the phone.

"Hello— Renee, how are you doing—" He stopped, then sighed. "Bella's fine like we talked about— She's fine." His voice got lower, "She's fine— I didn't mean to cut you off— okay, it's just— Renee, this isn't what we talked about."

He paused then started again. "I know—I know, and I'm sorry I just—"

He sighed, and I heard Billy start to wheel around the kitchen. Definitely not wanting to get caught, I hid in my bedroom. I couldn't hear anymore, but it didn't take a genius to know they were fighting over me again. I sighed. I didn't get why mom didn't listen to me. I told her I liked being with Dad, yeah sometimes the forest and the beach made me feel… weird, but I told her it was getting better. Also, I thought it was nice being away from her, but it made me feel guilty to think that.

She scared me sometimes. I told her I didn't want to dance. I said I didn't want to play piano, but she made me do it anyway. Dad didn't make me do anything. He let me do what I wanted. But when I told her, she just got madder, and now maybe I thought she was scared too— like Dad in the kitchen.

"Bella!" Dad called. "Your mom wants to talk to you."

"Okay, just a minute," I said, to make it seem like I was busy doing homework or something. I didn't want to talk to her. But maybe I'd be able to talk to Grandma, and she'd make me feel better.

I left the room then walked down the stairs. Dad was holding the phone to his ear, staring at the wall, he turned and handed the phone to me, he looked funny, but he didn't say anything as he left.

"Bella!" Mom babbled, a couple of words I didn't catch, "I missed you so much, Baby."

"Mom." I scrunched my nose, "You said the same thing yesterday."

"I know, Baby, I know," She paused, and it sounded like she hiccuped. "I just miss you so much."

I nodded, a smile tugging at my mouth, "I miss you too, mom. How's grandma?"

"Oh— she's fine. Out at the store—" I deflated a bit at that, but Mom's cheery voice started again. "She says she misses you too."

"I love you both—" I said, and then mom continued.

"So, Bella, how's your father?" She laughed like it was funny. "Is Billy over at the house?"

"Yeah, we're going to his house later."

"Really?" She said. Pausing. "What are you doing over there?"

"I think I'll play with Rachel and Rebecca."

"That sounds nice…" She said, "anything else?"

"I don't think so?"

"Are you sure? It's the house in La Push, right?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Mom?"

"Sorry, Baby." She hesitated. "Just thinking."

"It's fine, I lov—"

"Bella, honey. What was it your father was talking about?" She said, then quickly she added. "I just want to know how he's doing. I sort of miss him."

I pursed my lips. Did she? She hardly talked about him unless it was time for me to come up here.

Her voice gentled like it did when I had trouble sleeping. "I thought, maybe one year— I could come up to visit? Wouldn't that be nice?"

It would be. But I couldn't imagine it, but seeing her and my dad together, maybe up here, they would get along.

"So, have they talked about anything? Whisper it if it's a secret."

I furrowed my brow. "Why?"

"Just curious and worried. Your dad seemed upset, and I wanted to know why."

I nodded, then whispered into the phone. "They said that you want me to stay with you for the summer."

It was silent for a while, and I waited for her to speak. "And Bella… What do you want?"

I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I like both, but I want to stay up here with Dad." I hesitated. It felt like there's a weird pressure in my chest, and no matter how much I swallowed, it wouldn't go away.

"Bella." She said.

"Yes, mom?"

"Can you do something for me, Baby?" She sounded quiet, and I had to press the receiver harder into my ear.

"What?"

"When you get to Billy's house," She gulped. "Go down to the Ocean. Mama's got a surprise for you."

I furrowed my brow. "What's the surprise?" I felt a hole in my chest like she was about to tell me that I'd forgotten to turn off the stove again or I didn't do my chores.

"Just do it— baby." She said. Her voice was hard and panicked. "Listen to me when I talk to you. Don't let dad know, though."

I nodded even though I didn't want to. She said goodbye, and then I stood with the phone in my hand till Dad called me back to the kitchen.

"Bella? Is everything alright?"

I blinked, then put the phone on its hook. Walking into the kitchen, and both pairs of eyes landed on me. Billy gasped at the same time Dad stood quickly.

"Oh, Bella, you got a nose bleed," Dad said. He grabbed a kitchen towel, got it damp, and pressed it to my nose. "Tilt-down."

I looked at him and tasted copper in the back of my throat. I furrowed my brows as Dad kept talking.

"You know, you're taking this like a champ— guess you get these from me." He tried to joke.

"Oh yeah," Billy said. "You had a bunch of nosebleeds for a while there."

Dad nodded, "For an episode or two." He smiled at me, "But they went away after I got older. Must have been a dry couple of years."

"Dry? Here?" Billy joked.

Dad chuckled, then comforted me. "I hardly get them anymore." I nodded, and Dad pressed my hand to the towel. "Do ya' got this?"

I nodded again. "Thanks, dad."

"Anytime, Bella." He hummed, "So what did your mom want to talk about."

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out; instead, it was easier to say, "I don't remember." I squinted my eyes as my head hurt. "Are we still going to Billy's?"

"That's the plan," Dad said. He patted his legs, then stood. He looked over at Billy. "Should we."

"We won't be too long," Billy stated. There was a bunch of paperwork on the table—the words so small that I'd probably have to use a magnifying glass in some parts. I nodded, then shuffled from the room.

"If you can put that towel in the laundry basket, I'll take care of it later."

"Sure, dad."

I got ready, cleaning my nose and wadding the towel up before putting it on the laundry basket. I went into the bathroom, combing my hair into a ponytail, checking to see if there was blood on my yellow shirt. Somehow I was clean.

I made a face in the mirror, then left. Going downstairs to put on my sneakers and my jacket. "Ready," I called out.

"We'll be outside in just a minute."

I nodded and opened the door anyway. I was careful not to slide down the ramp then padded over to the tree. It wouldn't be long. The rain was pattering my jacket, and I watched the water bead up and roll down my sleeves. Sometimes there was so much rain I wondered if Becca had been right, and the Rainbird lived permanently near the Quillayute, and because it blessed the Quillate with the weather, that Forks got to benefit from it too.

She had to be. I scuffed my shoes in the grass. Then the door opened, and Dad pulled Billy down the stairs. I went over to help with the ramp. Dad shot me a grateful look, then closed it and held it under his arm. "Thanks, kiddo."

In the car, Dad cranked up the heat. And then started to drive down to La Push. It wouldn't take too long. I looked out the window longingly.

"Want to roll it down?"

"Yes, please." He gestured to Billy, who handed me a towel we used to dry off.

"Just protect the console."

I smiled and nodded, using the button to push down the window. I liked the wind and raindrops hitting my face mixing with the air conditioning heat. It was magical. Both warm and cold. It felt like a memory I didn't have yet. Deja-vu? I think. But this was nice.

We entered La Push, and I was excited to see the ocean until it came into view. The buzzing started again, harsher than I remembered. It pulsed at the base of my skull and made my palms itch. I ignored it. Looking out at the water between the square houses made to withstand the weather. Tsunami warnings were something that scared me sometimes. I'd never been through one, but Billy had told me, Rebecca, Rachel, and Jake how serious they were. I believed him.

Dad pulled into a neighborhood, driving past houses with large porches and tarps, picket fences, and yard tables with umbrellas. Wind chimes made a symphony of sounds as we passed them. I'd have to ask Dad to get one later— maybe we could make some.

He parked on the street. Billy's house looked like ours, but they had a giant sun porch that was screened in, he had a ramp built in from wood, and there was a skateboard leaning against it and a bike, unchained under an awning. Plants lined the house in pots with hummingbirds bobbing from the wind. I eyed the sun room enviously. It must be nice, being dry and in the rain. We piled out of the car, and Billy got settled relatively quickly.

Inside, it was warm— It felt like a hug coming inside, welcoming. But still, I itched. The ocean was right outside the window. I wanted to go to it. I watched as Dad and Billy sorted out the paperwork. They mentioned another man coming by later with the Clearwaters.

I moved, going to the front door—

"Where do you think you're going?" Dad said. "It's raining cats and dogs."

Words felt like lead on my tongue. "I wanted to go to the ocean."

"No, it's not safe, Bell's." He sighed, "Sorry to bring you, I know this is boring, but the Clearwaters will drop off the girls later."

It's fine. Later. A voice said. I nodded but still felt a string pulling me to the water. I watched the windows. Maybe if it was sunny, it'd be fine. I really wanted to get to the water. I didn't move. I just watched the windows till the rain ebbed, the sky still gray, but it looked safe enough.

It must have been a long time because Rebecca and Rachel rushed in. They had sleeping bags and clear backpacks showing their Game Boys and schoolwork.

"Hi, Bella!" Rebecca said, dropping her bag by the door and coming over. "Dad said you'd be here."

"Just in time too." Rachel said she was always a little calmer. "We can actually go outside now."

I looked at Dad checking for permission. He hesitated, but Sam spoke next, "The girls know when to come back."

Dad nodded, and I stood. I didn't grab anything. The ocean practically glistened in the distance. The three of us left the house. I felt the itching again, the pull to the water. When the girls asked what I wanted to do, I didn't hesitate to say the beach. First Beach. It wasn't that far. I could borrow Jake's bike, they said, so long as I took care of it.

We went off, the sky rumbled, but we were getting further and further away. It felt like we should stay back— It's fine.

We rode up to the boundary between the beach and the parking lot. Another car was there, packing fishing supplies. The girls didn't chain their bikes, just put them on the rack, and I did the same. It almost hurt that I hadn't gone down there. When we finally got down to the rock and smooth stones. I looked back, I'd left my jacket at home, and it started to drizzle.

Rachel and Rebecca didn't seem to notice. Meanwhile, I got closer to the water. I blinked, and then there she was— my surprise. Mom was on a boat, rocking in the waves. I lifted my hand in a wave. Shocked, surprised, and I darted my eyes to the twins. Then looked back to the ocean and gave my mom a small smile.

"Bella!" My mom called, "what do you think?"

I bit my lip, looking at the water. "It looks amazing!" I shouted. Then I heard the twins laugh and agree. I felt a bit better and took another step to the water. It rolled over my shoes. Foamy cold water.

"Do you think you can swim to me?"

Yes. You're a strong swimmer. The rain grew heavier, pelting me. I eyed the water. Then shook my head— Only to look up, Mom held out her hand. Leaning over the boat.

"It's okay, baby, I got you." She said, grimacing as she reached for me.

I took another step, and I heard someone shout.

"Hey!" A woman screamed, "It's dangerous!"

I didn't listen. Mom was calling me. I'd be safe. I felt the water at my calves. Strong waves as I walked forward. The wind whipped around me. Mom bobbed in her boat, holding a hand for me still.

"Mom?" I whispered, but the rain picked up, and the waves drowned it out.

"Hey!"

I wanted to look back, but it felt like I was stuck, and then a wave crashed into me. The water felt like shards of ice. So cold it burned. I staggered as the waves tugged me in— I lamely struggled to find my footing in the water. Another wave swept me back like punches to the chest, and I couldn't touch the rocks anymore. I yelped only to get a mouth full of saltwater.

Kicking my legs, I tried to hold my breath, and my foot barely kicked the rocks. I darted up, splashing arms flailing in the water. Then another wave pulled me deeper into the ocean. I swallowed so much that I puked—

Something grabbed me. Fingers dug into my arm. I turned to look, expecting to see mom instead. Something covered in black ink tugged me towards them. I screamed. It's rows of teeth trying to bite at me. I jerked back, kicking at it, thrashing in the water. We went under only for it to pull us up— I screamed for my mom. Her boat was gone. She left me— I swallowed more water, my nose burned, and I blinked, still fighting the monster and the water.

Wave after wave beat at me. I used the monster to get air so long as it clutched at me, pushing it down, gulping in air. I sobbed. The ocean was so ugly. The water gray-green— cold— and hard. I felt like I was going to die. The monster let me go, scratching at my arm, and I tried to go up to get air, only to be tossed into the waves again. I swallowing more water— my lungs hurt so much— no air— I swam but didn't reach the surface.

I opened my mouth, I couldn't breathe— I couldn't move— my arms tried weakly to push me, but I couldn't see—couldn't breathe… I just… I felt nothing, not even pain. Then something, hard tugging before I sank into the darkness.

I heard crying. Sobbing. "Bella— Please Baby—"

I was on the beach, the adults looking around in a circle. The twins sobbed into Sue Clearwater's jacket as she covered her mouth and watched. I turned and saw my dad holding me. I wasn't in my body. I looked around. Why are there two of me? Why wasn't anyone looking at me?

"I need you to wake up now. Come on— breathe, Bells." He cursed, and I stood there watching. Dad pressed both hands on my chest. CPR. "Someone get me an AED!" He screamed.

"I'm right here, dad," I said. I tried to touch his shoulder, but my hand went through it. I felt my heart drop, and then I tried to touch him again. "I'm right here!"

Mom? I looked out to the ocean. But I didn't see mom anywhere. Didn't see anyone. The monster was gone. I shivered and looked at my hands. Then I turned to all the other adults. I screamed their names, but no one looked at me. I looked back at dad. Sagging down next to him. Crying, "Please, see me."

"Don't do this to me, Baby, come on." My dad crouched over me, his voice cracking.

I reached out and touched him, but I passed straight through him. Gulping as my hand instead touched my hand— Then immediately I rolled over, coughing up water. I blinked, and someone gave a relieved sob.

"Dad?" I croaked.

"Hey, Bells…" He sniffed, then he collapsed on me, his body shuddering as he cried. "I did this," He said. His face white. "I should have been watching you." He ran his face in my hair, and I blinked at him.

I tried to talk, but it hurt. I wanted to see if they saw mom. Ask where the monster went. But I couldn't. I just croaked, and then even though I hadn't been carried in a very long time, he lifted me up. Grabbing me and holding me to him, he didn't let me go till we got to the hospital. Doctors, saying things like I should be dead.

Then there was the police station, then home— packing. Mom was mad, she screamed over the phone. Words like negligence, words like custody— I cried a lot. Then there were the phone calls with me. Soft voices, promises, and a ticket back home.

"Come home, baby." My mom whispered, over and over.

I didn't feel like me. I felt cold all the time. I screamed when I touched the water. I couldn't wash my hair. If the water ran over my face I started to shake so badly my teeth chattered. I left two days later.

Mom was waiting at the baggage claim. She rushed me when I came through the gate. She smothered me— when she touched me, her fingers felt like claws— she felt oily and wet, and I started to thrash against her.

She shook me. People in the airport stopped to watch. She shot panicked looks at everyone before yelling, "Bella! It's fine. It's me— You're home."

I looked at her and saw her when she was in the boat, and then she wasn't— I saw her as she held her hand out, and then she was gone. I started crying.

I cried so much that not even Grandma Marie could fix it. I couldn't talk to dad. He called, but Mom said I wasn't ready. So I cried even harder. I broke things. Windows shattered. Plants died. Things turned on suddenly or just stopped working. I was always cold.

Grandma Marie tried to help. She put me to bed. But I couldn't even sleep. My dreams were of a black ocean or of me underwater. I woke up drenched in sweat. I'd taste saltwater on my lips, and I would cry again. Grandma Marie came into my room trying to soothe me, and still, it rained. Torrents of rain, it didn't stop, then the floods hit. Mom was panicking. Grandma was too.

"She should go back with Charlie," They argued one night.

"No!" Mom screamed, "She'll die up there."

"You don't know that—"

"I do!" Mom screamed again. I just curled tighter in my bed. "I saw it with my own two eyes."

"Renee, this is too much! We don't even know the full extent of what happened up there, and you should know the future isn't set in stone—"

"It is, mom." She said. "I know what's going to happen. She's going to be torn to pieces." Her voice turned into a whine. "Is that what you want to happen to her? Do you want her to be torn to piec—"

A sharp sound cut her off. And I felt tears pool in my eyes.

"Did you just hit me—"

"How dare you, I love that girl, but you're forcing too much on her!"

"You hit me." Mom said again.

"You are not thinking clearly!" Grandma Marie said. "You took her and left because of your visions before— but you were wrong then. Now you want to keep her away from her father. The least you can do is tell him the truth."

Mom started to laugh, but it died off just as quickly, "Do you think that would make a difference? Nothing will change. The truth won't protect them— either of them."

"The only way you can protect Bella is to teach her like I taught you." There was a pause, and a flash of thunder pounded outside our house. Grandma Marie's voice took on a begging tone. "Look at what's happening. That's her. Bella isn't like you or me— she's more— You said it yourself when you met the Swan boy. That he was different, that he negated some of your magic."

"I was wrong." Mom said. It was easy to picture her shaking her head. "He was normal."

"He wasn't— at least he had more power than the others. You left him because he could fight it— for a time." She said grudgingly, "I told you to leave him be, said that this might happen— like your father—"

"Stop."

It was silent. The only sound I could hear was the wind.

"Don't interfere. I'm raising my daughter, and I know what's best for her. She needs to stay with me."

"Renee." Grandma started again. "We need to tell her what she is—"

"Stop. My daughter will stay with me, and you won't speak a word of this to her. You will not tell her a thing about magic. Now go."

There was nothing else after that, just Grandma quietly leaving. I shook in my bed. I didn't sleep. Mom told me to get up in the morning then she took me to dance class in the pouring rain.

I changed into my leotard. The other teacher slicked my hair back so tight I had a headache and told me to wait in the practice room while she talked to my mom. They left me in there. Alone. I started to breathe heavily. My chest moved rapidly up and down as I looked at the mirror. The slick surface showed too much.

I should move, I thought, I should spin. I did a pirouette. Moving my head in the mirror, watching my body. This wasn't like swimming at all. I did another, and another— Then I stopped. An old woman watched me in the corner. I darted my eyes to that area of the room. She wasn't there. She was just in the mirror. I was about to scream when she shook her head, waving her hands like that was the last thing she wanted.

I still didn't move.

She gestured to me, then to her. Her mouth moved slowly, "Family." She mouthed.

I was still breathing heavily. I didn't know her. She nodded, though, then made a rocking motion. "You were a baby." She mouthed.

I just blinked. She said the same sorts of things my mom's friends said when they came to visit. She sort of looked like Dad. She was smaller than him, but she had his eyes. At least, I thought she did. She smiled, and I saw the resemblance again.

"You can see me?" She mouthed. "Like me?"

I swallowed. "What?"

"Magic?"

I shook my head, and she furrowed her brow, then gestured as if to say how else would you see me. I was about to ask more when the door opened, and my mom came in.

"Bella, you forgot you—" She stared at the mirror, face growing pale. "Helen?"

Suddenly I was knocked back. The mirror shattered, and I was screaming as my mom held me in her arms.

"It's okay, baby. It's safe now."

I started fighting her, kicking and screaming. She wrestled with my hands. "Bella— Bella! Go to sleep Bella!"

I sagged, sleep taking me.

I woke up, and it was dark. I jerked awake and felt the bottom of coats hitting my head. Shoes pressed against my hands. It smelled musty and like dirt. I was still in my leotard.

"Mom?"

A breath outside the door. "Hey, honey?"

"Mom, why am I in the closet?" I darted my eyes around, then reached for the door.

"It's for your safety, baby." She said, her voice cracking. "I just want to keep you safe."

I jangled the handle, trying to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. "Mom, I'm scared."

"I know you are. I know." She sniffed.

Bile burned the back of my throat, and I tried to open the door again, hitting at it, kicking, it didn't move. I don't know how long I tried till I was so tired I sank to the floor. Tears running down my cheeks.

Mom started talking again. "We're gonna fix that okay. The water, the dark, we're gonna fix all of that."

My voice came out as a squeak. "Please let me out."

"Later, Baby. First, I need you to tolerate it." She said.

I didn't know what she meant until I felt something drip on my forehead. I stilled, and then the closet filled with a cascade of water. I flailed my arms around. Grasping at anything to get it to stop. Tugging coats down to cover me, but all it did was weigh me down. I couldn't even see, and I started screaming— so much that my voice cracked, and I tasted copper.

"You need to get used to it. I'm so sorry, baby, I'm trying to help."

I stopped screaming. I held my knees and rocked myself. I couldn't breathe again. It was so dark. Someone help me, I said again and again in my head. Please, someone, help me.

I felt a flicker— a spark of something from inside me heat up my hands, a small golden arc of light, it was the only thing warm in here. I bought it to my chest as I shivered, looking at all the water. It took a second to realize the water wasn't landing on me anymore.

I was still wet, but the water seemed to hover around me. I just closed my eyes, rocking myself back and forth. I wasn't getting wetter— It smelled like grandma's flowers. Lilacs and honey. I swallowed and waited. And waited. And waited.

I heard a chair scrape across the floor and the shield flickered away, and I looked up just as Mom opened the door.

"See, Bella, your okay now." She crouched down and pulled me into her arms. I didn't move. "Do you feel better?"

I didn't say anything, scared that if she knew about the shield that she'd put me back in the dark. "I'm okay." I stuttered.

She gave me a look and brushed wet hair from my forehead.

"It's for the best you forget. Forget as much as possible. You just need to stay down here with me." She said firmly.

"I'll— I'll stay down here with you."

"Yes, Bella, Charlie, he can visit you down here."

"Charlie can visit me down here." I parroted automatically.

"Only if you tell him. Will you?" She said a second later, "Will you tell him?"

I nodded.

"Okay, that's my big girl." She swallowed. "Now, no more crying about this now. You aren't afraid of water."

"Okay."

"Good… Be sure to tell grandma you're alright when she gets back. No matter what."

"Okay."

"Okay." She looked like she was close to crying, and I didn't know why.

"I love you, mom."

She gulped, giving me a tight smile. "I know you do, baby."

Authors note: Hi all! Thank you so much for the kind reviews and I'm so glad you like the story so far. Chapter 18 will post Satuday at 3 pm and Chapter 19 will post Sunday at 3 pm! Question for some, would anyone like trigger warnings or warnings of any kind before chapters. A majority of them are in my bio. Thanks.