"Can I ask you a question?" Alex asked timidly. Judging by the expression on her face, she'd been mulling over this question for quite some time, but wanted to seem as if she'd only just thought of it now.

Emily looked up from her lunch to offer her a smile. "Ask away."

Alex chewed her lip in silent debate, suddenly unsure about herself. With a heavy sigh, she launched into her question, "When you were pregnant, what was it like?"

"Oh, umm..." she stammered for a moment, certainly not having anticipated that. "Well, I was fifteen, so it was terrifying. I was really alone – only one person knew – and I couldn't rely on anyone. It was very lonely."

Alex watched her for a few moments, the sadness that washed across her face at the memory. "I'm sorry, Emily," she whispered, though she wasn't quite certain what it was she was sorry for.

She shrugged. "It was my own fault," she said, "I was old enough to know better."

"That doesn't mean you deserved to go through it alone," Alex insisted. "You still deserved to have support."

Then, without knowing why, she said, "I asked Father Guimino what I should do and he told me that if I had an abortion, I wouldn't be welcome in his congregation." She glanced up, caught Alex's gaze, seeing so much sympathy there. "It's fine," she insisted again, "I never cared for the Catholic Church anyway."

"You didn't deserve that," Alex insisted, "You were a child."

She shrugged helplessly. A beat. "Why do you ask?"

"I just... I worry that being involved in this pregnancy will bring up some negative emotions for you," she said gently.

Emily thought on that for several moments. "I hadn't really thought about it," she admitted. "I certainly don't want to taint this experience for you with all my shit."

Alex shook her head. "You're not going to do that," she insisted. "I want you to be a part of this. And if it brings back negative memories, we can get through that too – together."

"Why, though?" she asked quietly, glancing down at her food suddenly.

Alex pushed aside some of the clutter on her desk to extend her hands to Emily. "I don't care what's happened, I just want us to move forward. Together. I want us to be a family. If that's what you want. I know it might take time to get there again, but I want us to try."

With a sigh, Emily joined their hands together. "I don't want to make you any promises I don't know I can keep," she admitted. "I love you and I'm willing to try, but I always always fuck up and I absolutely refuse to fuck up this baby's life."

"You won't," Alex insisted.

Emily's expression was dubious.

"Are you afraid that I'm going to hurt you again?" she asked in a whisper.

She shrugged, suddenly shy, almost embarrassed to admit aloud the thoughts that had been plaguing her of late. "I'm afraid that you're going to want to give this baby its father," she said quietly.

"What can I do to convince you that I'm not about to do that?" Alex asked with quiet urgency.

She shook her head. "I'm not going to ask you..." she started to say.

Alex squeezed her hands tighter. "I'll do whatever it takes. Do you want me to call and tell him I'm pregnant? Do you want me to leave him off the birth certificate?"

"No, Alex," she maintained. "Those are decisions you need to make on your own."

"I want you to be involved, Em. As much as you want. I want you to help me with these decisions. I can't do this alone," she whispered.

Emily had driven Alex home after lunch when she seemed a little too queasy to drive herself, no matter how many times Alex tried to insist she could just take an Uber.

"Why don't you go lay down and I'll make you some tea," Emily said gently as she held the door open for Alex.

"You don't have to do that," she tried to insist, but one look at Emily's expression told her it was useless to resist, so she just trudged upstairs to bed.

Emily followed shortly after with a steaming mug of tea, only to find Alex not in bed, but standing in the doorway of an empty room. With a raised brow, she said, "That doesn't look like resting to me..."

"Just thinking," she said vaguely.

Emily cocked her head. "About?"

Alex looked up sharply as if she'd only just remembered that Emily was there. "I want to move." At Emily's quizzical look, she said, "I don't want to live with all these bad memories – I want to raise my child in a home with a fresh start."

"Okay..." Emily said slowly.

Then, softer, she said, "Maybe, when the time is right, you could move in too..."

"Oh?"

She shrugged. "Just an idea. You don't have to – certainly not right away. But I hope... With time..." She shrugged again.

Emily smiled softly. "I promise to think about it, okay?" She cupped Alex's cheek tenderly. Then, "Now, get into bed before you throw up and I have to clean it because, I swear to God, I will throw up too..."

Alex obliged, settling into bed as Emily set the tea next to her on the nightstand. "Will you stay with me? For awhile?" she asked quietly.

"Of course," Emily said with a gentle smile. She sat on the edge of the bed, but Alex shook her head, gave her a pleading look that Emily easily interpreted. Silently, she lay down beside her, pulled her into her chest, stroking gently up and down her back.

"Thank you," Alex whispered.

Emily raised a brow. "For what?"

She sighed softly. "You... You're still my everything, you know that, right?" she murmured.

"I know. And you're still incredibly important to me," she assured her. Then, though she couldn't quite have explained it, she leaned in to kiss her.