Mikasa inhaled as Sasha moaned behind her. They had been down here for just over a day and she knew the other girl had long been pining for the food they had left behind.
It wasn't like they weren't eating.
The food was just… bad quality and meals were few and far between.
The lodgings weren't any better. Not that they had much time for sleeping anyways.
The company was worse.
It wasn't like she hadn't noticed the appraising stares being cast her way. She knew there were men here wondering how much it would take to get her into bed with them- especially with her unique features.
It made her skin crawl.
"We need to go," she told her companions.
Sasha picked herself up with a groan, but it was half-hearted at best, even if it managed to irk Mikasa all the same.
Eren and Armin were missing.
Every second they weren't found was another second where anything could be happening to them and she would be powerless to stop it.
She tightened her jaw and restrained herself.
Jean was watching her with a furrowed brow.
Mikasa looked away.
She didn't like the way he was looking at her. He was just worried for her. She knew that, but it bothered her still.
She knew he didn't see her as weak- far from it- and she was confident enough in her own abilities that it wouldn't bother her even if he did.
So… why did it still continue to bother her?
"What about Levi?"
Mikasa spared Connie a halfway glance.
"We're not learning anything here." She kept walking. "I need to leave…"
Someone caught her wrist and she spun around, furious. "What…?"
Jean met her ire without flinching.
"Stop."
"Let go of me, Jean." Her tone was frigid.
He did and he took a step back for good measure, but he didn't entirely back down.
"I know you're worried about them," he said, choosing his words carefully, "and I know what we have doesn't compare to what you have with both of them, but… we all care about them too. It isn't fair for you to act like you're the only one affected by this."
She glared at him. "I'm not…"
"You are," he cut in. "It's this…" He floundered for a means to continue, looking like he very well expected her to bite his head off.
Mikasa crossed her arms. "Go on."
"This passive aggression!" he finally settled for. "It's in your body language, you're being short with everyone. You're two steps away from acting on your own."
"I…" She faltered. There wasn't much she could do to defend herself when he was right after all.
"I know they matter to you," Jean said, gentler this time. "You can't let yourself be blindsided every time something happens to them."
She exhaled, allowing herself to deflate, even though her first instinct had been to bristle defiantly.
Jean was right.
She had a one track mind when it came to those dearest to her. She needed to reign herself in before she did something she couldn't undo.
But if Eren dies…
She drew up short, refusing to go down that path.
If Eren died, she would have nothing left. She owed him her life. She had ever since he had pulled her up off those slavers' floor.
Even if she spent the rest of her life doing so, that was something she could never repay.
"Mikasa?"
She blinked and lifted her head.
Jean was staring at her, concerned.
She looked away, heat rushing to her face. "It's nothing," she said shortly.
Jean looked like he wanted to argue with her. He didn't get the chance.
Levi rounded the corner, pulling back his hood. Mika's a tried to read his expression, to gauge what kind of news he was bringing back with him, but he was as impenetrable as always.
Sasha sat up straighter. "Captain!"
Jean shifted and Mikasa tensed.
If the atmosphere had been terse before, it was doubly so now.
"Is there any news?" she asked. She remembered how only minutes before she had been urging them to keep going, defying his orders, but she refused to drop her gaze.
"They're in the entertainment district," he said without preamble. "Word's been getting around of a new combatant."
Mikasa bristled and she saw Jean do the same.
Combatant?
What did that mean?
"What are they doing to them?" Even as she asked, she realized what Levi had said.
Combatant.
Singular.
So what had happened to the other?
Mikasa swayed, unsteady on her feet.
Jean was at her side immediately, catching her arm. "Mikasa…" One hand rested on her shoulder. The other stayed respectfully at her elbow.
"I'm fine," she snapped. Except she wasn't and it was obvious and it was humiliating.
Jean took a step back, giving her her space.
Levi had his eyes on her and even Sasha and Connie were staring at her.
Her face burned- she wasn't going to be a liability in this case- and she stood straighter, meeting Levi's gaze.
I can do this.
Levi narrowed his eyes, but, mercifully, he didn't call her out.
"There's a fight tonight. And word is the star of this show is their new acquisition," he said instead. "We're going to attend it."
"We are?" Connie asked.
"We are. So you better prepare yourselves, brats."
A pit fighting ring… It hadn't been what Mikasa was expecting, but it still filled her with trepidation.
She didn't need it spelled out for her- she could infer from the name- but as for what it meant… She tried to imagine either one of them in a place like that without her.
Eren was too angry for his own good, always losing his head. He was strong but it was too easy to get him riled up and once he was riled up, he wasn't thinking clearly.
And Armin… Armin was too… too much like Armin to last in a place like that. He wasn't a fighter.
Not at heart.
He'd die.
They had to see that, right? Would they throw someone into the pit if they didn't have a chance?
Jean stepped closer to her and she didn't shake off his presence.
They were one step closer to getting them both back.
That was what really mattered.
Mikasa took a deep breath, steeling herself. She just had to wait a little longer.
That's all.