Hope everyone has a great weekend! Mistakes are mine - my gals are the BEST. Thanks for reading, see ya MONDAY!
8
My phone chimes with a series of texts during breakfast on Sunday morning.
"Baby, eat your fruit, too," I tell Mikey before walking across the kitchen to grab my phone from the counter.
Alice texted our group thread, which includes Rose and Gianna.
Alice: Help. 911. Emergency. I can't reach my toes to paint them. Pedicures today? Please?
Rose: I'm down if we can go at noon! I'm still hurting a little from my birthday drinks last night. I can't hang like I used to, lol
Alice: Great! I need at least one of you there to help my pregnant ass get in and out of the chair.
Gianna: For future texts, I'd appreciate it if you didn't start them with help or 911 unless it's an actual emergency. I thought you were going into labor.
Alice: Sorry, Gi lol your little niece or nephew still has three months to cook before that happens.
"The girls want to get pedicures later," I tell Jared when he walks into the kitchen in joggers and a tee.
He makes a second cup of coffee. "When?"
"Like, noon. Can you watch Mikey?" I ask, picking up our dirty dishes and walking them to the sink.
"Sure."
"Really?" I'm skeptical at how easy that was.
"Yeah? Surely I can find ways to entertain him for an hour or so."
"I agree, I just didn't think you knew that…" I quietly trail off so Mikey won't overhear.
Jared sighs but doesn't refute what I said. Instead, he leans over and kisses my shoulder, thanking me for breakfast before leaving me to clean up.
XXX
Gianna and I drive together to the salon, planning on meeting Alice and Rose there. The ride is quiet until Gianna takes a work call, and I'm grateful for the interruption.
After my conversation with Edward in the bar last night, it's a little weird to be around her. I mean, nothing really happened. Nothing has happened. But I know if she knew that her husband complimented my dress, that he openly checked me out, eyes dipping to my cleavage… yeah. If she knew that his hand found the small of my back on our way to the booth, sending a tingling sensation down my spine… ugh. He pulled away just before we rounded the corner. It was like nothing had happened. But I felt the loss of his hand on my back the rest of the night.
Since I'm driving, I can't hear the entirety of Gianna's conversation, just irritation from her end.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," she mutters. "How long will he be in the hospital?" There's a pause. "I guess that's not too bad. And thankfully hospitals have Wi-Fi." Another pause. She laughs. "Great. Okay. Bye."
The call ends.
"Is everything okay?" I ask her, turning into the parking garage for the outdoor shopping center.
"Fine," she sighs. "One of our engineers got T-boned at an intersection near our office. Some idiot ran a red light, I guess."
"Oh, shit. Is he okay?"
She hesitates. I didn't hear her ask this at all, which is why I'm sure she doesn't know how to answer.
"I'm sure he's fine," is all she says, and I let the subject drop, internally cringing at how compassionless she seems right now. As if the engineer getting into an accident has only inconvenienced her.
After our toes are freshly painted, the four of us walk around the boutiques, popping in and out of a few. When we pass by a lingerie shop, Rose drags us inside. She's set on buying something. Alice sits in an oversized plush chair in the fitting area, and I'm just casually perusing. That is until Gianna says she might as well buy something, too, since her wedding anniversary is coming up in two days.
Married for ten years, together for thirteen.
She and Edward have been married as long as I've been with Jared, but we've only been married for six years. We were newlyweds when I took Edward and Gianna on as clients.
It feels like a lifetime ago.
I pick out a few different items, but I know I'm only doing this because Gianna's buying something for Edward. I steer clear of her in the store, orbiting away from her. I don't want to see what she's buying. I don't want that image in my head, and I don't want to imagine the look on Edward's face when he sees her in it.
Unfortunately, I get a glance when we're in the dressing rooms.
"How does this look?" Rose asks aloud, and Gianna and I both peek our heads out from around our curtains.
Alice whistles.
Rose is wearing a light pink bodysuit. It's sheer with a plunging neckline and embroidered lace.
"Very understated. You look great. And I wish I had your tits, so now I hate you," I tease.
She laughs. "Well, I wish I had your ass, so we're even."
"Bella's right and you should get it," Gianna agrees.
"Is it sexy enough, though?" Rose wonders.
Gianna opens her curtain further, and yeah, I want to die.
We picked the same thing—a lacy bra with matching underwear and a garter belt. But she chose black, and I picked dusty blue.
She looks amazing. Long limbs. Perfect tits. Olive skin.
I shut my curtain and drown out their conversation, staring at myself in the mirror under the glow of the lights.
I can't lie—I look good, too. I'm not as tall as Gianna; I'm more on the petite side. My tits are smaller, but I like them. Her hips are more slender while mine are more shapely. But Rose is right, and my backside is one of my better assets. It's the one area that Gianna comes up short in.
I sigh.
I hate that I'm comparing myself to her. Hate that I'm wondering if Edward would like me in this. She's picking out something special for their wedding anniversary. I should be wondering if my husband would like this, not another man who will never see it.
Grabbing my phone, I open my camera. I stand on my tip-toes a little, stick my chest out, and snap a photo.
I send it to Jared.
Bella: Should I get this?
Jared: You can't send me stuff like that when I'm watching our kid.
Bella: lol, so that's a yes?
Jared: Yes. Fuck yes.
I smile.
Put my phone away.
But when it comes time to buy it, I put it back on the rack.
XXX
It's mid-week when I text Edward while I'm at work because it's been a few days since we've been able to talk, and I just… want to.
Bella: You busy?
He responds immediately.
Edward: Just editing. Ripping my hair out. What's up?
Bella: Don't do that. I love your hair.
Edward: You do?
Bella: Yeah. Also, I read some more of your manuscript this morning. You're kind of killing me with Holden's inner turmoil about whether or not he should stay with Lola or go back to his wife Emma.
Edward: He's a broody bastard, yeah?
Bella: He is, but it's not too much. If he weren't so torn, I might think he's a sociopath...
Edward: Nah, having the protagonist be a sociopath is my next book ;)
Bella: lol shut up.
He sends the zipped mouth emoji.
Bella: I forgot to tell you Happy Anniversary yesterday.
Edward: You didn't have to. I wasn't expecting or even wanting you to.
Bella: Yeah. I was with Gianna at the lingerie store the other day. So, lucky you.
Edward: Come on. Please don't.
Bella: Sorry. It was awkward though. And now this is even more awkward.
Our texts stop for a few minutes, and I busy myself with emails, wishing I hadn't said anything at all to him about the lingerie. I should've just kept our conversation about his book. But my jealousy got the best of me.
Edward: Did you buy something for Jared?
Bella: Yes.
I'm lying because I'm irrationally upset when I think about Edward potentially ripping the lingerie off of Gianna, and part of me wants to get back at him for it.
There's a lull in our texts again.
Edward: What did it look like?
Bella: Surely you can use your imagination? Being a writer and all.
Edward: I'd rather hear it from you.
Opening my photos, I choose the picture I took in the dressing room the other day.
I look sultry.
Sexy.
Maybe I should've bought it. I know Jared was bummed when I showed up at home without it.
I think about sending the photo to Edward.
It actually takes a lot of fucking self-control not to.
But I can't let myself do it.
I describe it instead.
Bella: Dusty blue bra and panties. All lace. Sheer.
Edward: Garter belt?
Bella: Yes.
Edward: You're fucking killing me, Bella.
Bella: Sorry.
Edward: Is it fucked up that I wish I could see you in it?
Bella: Not as fucked up as me wondering if you'd like it on me.
Edward: I would. You know I would.
Sending him the photo is on my mind again, but I can't. I just fucking can't. I'm not that gutsy.
Bella: Gotta get back to work.
Edward: Did I take it too far?
Bella: No. If I don't stop texting you right now, I might send you the picture I took of myself in the dressing room at the lingerie shop, and I think I'd majorly regret that.
Edward: I don't want you to have any regrets.
Bella: I don't want you to, either.
Edward: I have a few, but not where you're concerned.
I'm reading between the lines and wonder if he's saying he does have regrets about his life. But we don't do that. We don't talk shit about our spouses. We don't confide in each other that way.
But I want to know. I want to ask about his marriage. If he's happy. If they have regular sex. If he's still in love with her the same way he was the day they got married.
If he said no to any of those, I'd be relieved. I know I would. But then I immediately feel bad because that's shitty of me. I should want him to be happy. He should love his life. I shouldn't want him to be miserable.
Instead of being nosy, I lighten up this conversation.
Bella: You have regrets… like using Shazam in front of me?
Edward: lol when are you going to let that go?
Bella: Whenever you do something else I can poke fun at.
Edward: Such a good friend ;)
Bella: Right? The best.
Edward: Yeah… you really are.