Author's Unprompted Ramblings I.5 Final Chapter Prologue REMix & Knuckles Edition
"Someone has to save you from your good intentions."
7/23/2022
Hey everyone, gonna put what I want to say in here instead of making a new edition of this strange patch notes/Q&A/edit tracker thing I have going on. This is just a small mini update to the fic to polish up Cordelia's Act I (again) and try to make it better (again). I'm still working on the rewrite to Severa's Act I, it's just going to take much longer than I anticipated and also be more in depth than I planned initially. At the very least it'll be doubled in length and substance (no filler, I promise) from the original and I'm going to use it to try and better set up character arcs so the rest of the fic can fulfill them. Inigo especially is a huge character I want to get another crack at before I focus the spotlight on him whenever I get to his acts, now that I actually know how I want to write him instead of when I started this fic and viewed him as a disposable character.
This edition of the fic notes will detail what I changed in Cordelia's Act I (long story short: almost all the dialogue save for the ending parts) and then detail what my roadmap looks like before I do another self-propelled Q&A. One major thing I want to stress is that from here on out, any act I will rewrite is FINAL. I am locking it in. If you're rolling your eyes at the concept of Cordelia's Act I being rewritten AGAIN, this decision was made with you in mind and also so I'm not stuck in an endless loop of self-betterment.
Rewrites/Format Changes:
Cordelia's Act I has been given another extensive makeover, most of which I have already posted by the time the two new parts will be uploaded. And you read that right, this includes two new parts that are about 18k words in length combined. The focus of this rewrite is to try and slow the pacing down so Robin and Cordelia's relationship can breathe, offer more character insights into the both of them, and also just fix some parts of the original where the logic just kind of broke down. I want to make it less obvious that this act is speedrunning a slightly different version of Awakening's main plot.
In a more detailed run-through of the changes made to Cordelia's Act I:
Part VII and IX are entirely new parts added to flesh out specific events in the original and give them more time to breathe.
Part I has a new scene of Sumia and Cordelia sharing their grief over the deceased pegasus squad.
Robin has been edited to be slightly less of a moron and more of a self-doubting wreck. His fear of being a vessel for Grima has been expanded on instead of being swept under the rug.
Part IV has been changed to take place at a fair instead of a more generic "festival", and Cordelia's reason for being upset with Robin has been given more clarity/logic.
Cordelia's relationship with Chrom has been given a definitive conclusion where she moves on instead of just being left up in the air like in regular Awakening because it's my slumber party and I get to make the rules.
Olivia has been given more scenes to breathe in.
Robin and Cordelia have a new scene in Part X set during their honeymoon.
Added a scene to Part XI to give Robin, Cordelia and Severa more cohesion.
Roadmap
I'm going to put my current writing plan here just for absolute transparency.
To start, after this I'm going to finish a small side project I started a month ago before getting distracted by this rewrite, which is a semi-sequel to that Dark Souls "kinda but not really" crossover I did five years ago, except now it's the cast of Awakening standing in for some scenes in Elden Ring. It will also be a semi-sequel to Make Her Fall for You in a College Semester, as it takes place in the dreams of that fic's Robin after he marathons the game. I'll probably get it out before the end of August. Speaking of Make Her Fall for You in a College Semester, I'm actually curious if people would be interested in me going back and doing a spiritual successor/rewrite to that now that I actually have three years of college under my belt instead of writing that when I was a high school freshman and had no idea what the hell a fraternity even was (oh god it's really been that long huh shit I feel old). Please let me know if you'd be interested in that, which I'd get to whenever this fic is finished. I know that sounds far off, but I promise I'll keep chipping away at this.
Following that will be a smaller edit/rewrite of Cordelia's Act II, of which I've already done up to Part III before stopping to focus on this rewrite. This will be much smaller in scope, consisting of me just rereading the parts and changing parts that sound clunky or shifting some events around. One part in particular I want to tweak is Cordelia and Olivia's battle with Risen, both because you can really tell the resolution of that scene was just me watching Faerghast's Support Science video on Olivia and going "yeah yep that sounds good just slap that in there". Another reason is because Kirby and the Forgotten Land's OST slammed into me like an 18-wheeler truck and now I have a lot more inspiration on tweaking scenes so that they both flow better and can also use music from that game because hot damn that's some good music. In this case, putting that fight on a large, snow-covered bridge.
Then the promised rewrite of Severa's Act I will happen, finally polishing up the weakest act of the story into something I'm really proud of on a conceptual level. There's a lot of really cool stuff I have planned for it, stuff that takes much better advantage of Severa, Morgan, Lucina, Inigo, Layla and a major character you haven't seen yet (both her and Layla I'm really excited to show off because I think they're very strong characters that stick close to Awakening's existing cast and would fit right in a fanhack of the game). This rewrite will basically be an entirely new part all its own, but some of it will pull events from Severa's Act II that make more sense to happen there than in the latter.
Speaking of which, Severa's Act II will receive a rewrite in scale to probably this one, with events being changed to make more sense after Severa's Act I handles the whole introduction to Ylisstol. Along with this is an even more minor editing pass to Lucina's Act I, with the only major change I want to do being how Validar is handled. I want his shift to be less sudden and more built-up to, along with changing his memory scene to take more inspiration from Psychonauts so it can stand out from the later one with Marla. After that will be me locking everything down for no further major rewrites and focusing solely on new parts, and you can hold me to that 100%
BGM/Recommended Music Changes:
Almost every song in Cordelia's Act I has been changed except for Stickerbush Symphony because that's a certified classic, Meta Knight Battle, Prologue, and Keep your Faith. Some of them are minor and IMO don't need to be listed because they didn't matter. The big major change is that I'm shifting away from Stardust Speedway as the primary leitmotif of Cordelia's family to instead give them a sort of style motif instead (it's guitars spoiler alert) and use Stardust Speedway elsewhere.
Impromptu Q&A:
Instead of doing a kind-of empty Q&A, I want to instead ask you guys something because I feel like I rarely get a chance to talk with people who read this. Are you guys annoyed that I'm focusing so hard on rewriting instead of making new content? Because part of me believes there are people that think that (and part of me thinks the same way), but another part of me feels like what I'm doing essentially IS new content. The new parts added to Cordelia's Act I are there because I thought there wasn't enough Robin X Cordelia stuff before Robin goes bye-bye, and Severa's Act I might as well be a new act entirely by the time I'm done with it. This is also why I'm imposing the rule of no more major rewrites after I give one to each act. But please let me know what you think. I'm always interested and happy to hear what people think regarding my writing and what I do.
Author's Unprompted Ramblings I
"But, Frederick, it's nearly dark!"
2/24/2022
Wow, congratulations! You survived the gauntlet. Unfortunately for you (and me), this story isn't over yet. Believe me, I'm disappointed in how long this has taken as well. This update was supposed to come out in MARCH of 2021, but it kept ballooning from there. It went from a rewrite of the Walhart ending segment of Severa's Tale Act II Section B (typing that name out only makes me realize more that this was approaching Kingdom Hearts-tier naming schemes), to a rewrite of the second half of said section, to splitting the section into three acts and changing the plan for Inigo's section to also be three acts instead of piggybacking off of Severa's name, and then ended at doing a complete rewrite and expansion of, in my opinion, the weakest act in the story: Severa's Act I. That part isn't even done yet. I just needed to get this update out so people don't think I died or something and to combat the size of my WIP doc.
This is essentially an extended author's note for the entire story as a whole. I plan to do more of these with every upload of a new act, focused on that act specifically and any changes I made to existing parts. Hopefully future uploads will have less rewrites than this one, considering this upload is strictly a bunch of rewrites to existing chapters.
Addressing that last point, yes, this pair of updates is strictly one final (hopefully) editing pass to make sure this entire story is the best I can make it before I try to buckle down and focus strictly on new parts (hopefully). If you've been waiting about two years for Inigo's story to finally come into focus, I'm sorry.
Genuinely, pulling the """humor""" away for a second, I know my update schedule is bad to put it lightly. I really do mean it when I say that I want these acts to come out faster, and I wish I had the same spark for writing these that I did back in 2015-17. I'm not going to abort this fic, mind you. I would never do that, and I keep stressing that because I worry people think that I'll do that. I also worry that people also don't really read this fic or give up partway through, because self-depreciation is a bastard and I've had too many friends either lie to me about reading this or outright say it's too bad for them. Sucks, but what can you do?
If you can see the connection between "me spending more time rewriting existing chapters than making new ones" and "I have a growing fear that I'm actually terrible at writing", then you're smarter than I am.
But yes, reiterating that point, this update is a huge editorial pass. Entire acts have and will be rewritten, plot beats have been tweaked, and dialogue has been put through multiple wringers. Below is a section detailing the general changes in broad strokes. Changes marked with an asterisk represent changes that are planned but not implemented yet. Hopefully I will get them out soon. Even further below that is an impromptu Q&A where I'll explain my thought process behind a lot of those changes. I've done a lot of edits and changes to this story over the years, and I want to maintain absolute transparency about them and state why I make them. That's why these sections exist. If you, the reader, have any questions about these changes, the story, or even how my day's been (spoiler alert it's been just fine), please leave a review/comment and I'll reply to them here.
As a final note, I just want to get some miscellaneous thoughts out now while I still have your attention. The final big climactic anime-as-all-hell fight for Severa's Act III: The Last Dragon is fully written and finished. I think it's one of my strongest pieces of work, and about 50% of that confidence comes from it being set to one of my favorite pieces of music ever composed (my profile picture is a humongous dead giveaway on which song that is, if you're curious). But speaking of music, this is going to be a semi-long list, so I'd recommend putting some music on while you zone out. Hopefully it's something that isn't from a video game because I imagine you're probably sick of those if you've been following my recommendations. But hey, enough stalling. Let's get into the changes.
Rewrites/Format Changes:
***Severa's Act I has been completely rewritten and expanded. After I rewrote Cordelia's Act I in 2020, I always felt like this was the weakest and shortest (in a bad way, considering this a 200k+ word fanfiction that's nearing the halfway point) act. The rewrite is to make sure that one of the central locations for this story, that being the Bad Future's Ylisstol, is brought to the forefront faster and given more of a focus before it's delved into with Inigo's acts. This extends to major characters like Layla, who have spent about four years being worked over in my head and only now am I really starting to get into them. I strongly believe this rewrite will make a better hook for the opening of Severa's narrative and do a better job setting up what's to come.
This rewrite has changes that ripple out into a lot of other parts in the story. These changes are currently not noted as they are logical and pretty noticeable on their own. (Example. Severa's Act II Part III is changed slightly by Severa having already been to Ylisstol by that point)
Severa's Act II Section B has been reworked into three acts belonging to Lucina. These acts are roughly ten parts long and kick off a nested segment of the story. Section C has also been changed to three acts that belong to Inigo and are about the same length. These six acts will occur between Severa's Act II and Cordelia's Act III. I realized after mapping out Section C to be about 30 parts long that one act containing 70 parts is absolutely ridiculous and vestigial to my original plan to have EVERYTHING from Severa's Act II condensed into one act. That includes the return to Ylisstol, the escape, the train, the refinery, Inigo's entire arc. I quickly realized it wouldn't work and scrambled to think of a format as a bandaid fix, and the sections served that purpose. Now, they just confused readers and no longer serve a purpose.
The content of Section B remains intact, just edited for the first half (before Lucina and Severa get warped off the train), rewritten but with loosely the same sequence of events for after that point, and then completely changed once they enter the refinery. These six acts will follow a nested, alternating structure like how Cordelia and Severa's acts alternate. I.E. Severa's Act II Lucina's Act I Inigo's Act I Lucina's Act II Inigo's Act II Lucina's Finale Inigo's Finale Cordelia's Act III.
My general rule for "only using one act name from each Fire Emblem game's OSTs" has been abolished and the full list can be found here:
C Act I: Child of Chaos
C Act II: Road Taken
C Act III: Everything Into the Dark
C Act IV: Beyond the Silence
C Act V: Twilight of the Gods
S Act I: Curse of the Fire Emblem
S Act II: In Search of Victory
L Act I: Recollection and Regret
L Act II: A Song for Bygone Days
L Act III: Lost in Thoughts All Alone
I Act I: Duty
I Act II: Puppets Don't Cry
I Act III: Climb the Sky
S Act III: The Last Dragon
S Act IV: Truth, Despair, and Hope
S Act V: This Precious World
Cordelia has been edited in her Act II to be more aggressive/display more signs of anger issues. Scenarios where she was submissive (the town crier besmirching Robin's name, for example) have been tweaked so that her submissive side is initially present, but put to the side as her aggression takes hold and she takes charge of the situation. She also punches a wall after her argument with Severa. This act is supposed to be the beginnings of how Cordelia becomes The Cloaked Woman, where her family-first mindset and general aggression/vengeful side start to form before those facets of her run wild the second she, as my favorite cheating Minecraft speedrunner would put it, finds out what the point of the mask is.
Another large change to Cordelia's Act II is that Severa and Inigo's relationship has been removed. This romance was an incredibly minimal part that didn't really add anything in the grand scheme of things. Instead, Severa's dance partner is Lucina because this story has been up for four years and I've advertised it as a Severa/Lucina fic for that entire duration. I need to throw those fans some sort of a bone while I continue to make my way to the point in the plot where they officially get together as a couple. (It's coming soon, just hold out a little longer).
***Any and all mention of Degeneration Glass, the books/paintings Validar used to record and see his memories, and Grima's tomes he recorded his thoughts in have all been changed to the uniform concept of Memory Prisms from Shadows of Valentia. Introducing a plot element that can rewrite someone's memories is a tricky balancing act, especially when it's a concept original to this fanfiction. Anchoring the idea down to a preexisting concept from the games and expanding its relevance in ways that make sense makes the concept more palatable and less "hold up what the hell is going on here".
***Lucina and Severa's argument and split during Lucina's Act I has been tweaked to be more believable.
***Lucina's descent down the Grimaret has been given a fight against Validar in the Six Snake Eyes Casino.
***The escape sequence during Lucina and Severa's trip to Ylisstol has been rewritten to suit new events and also put more focus on Grima's Four Fiends and how they play off each other.
The Robin Vs. Cordelia "fight" in Cordelia's Act I Part VI has been extended.
***Removed all instances of caps lock being used to signify screaming.
BGM/Recommended Music Changes:
Grima's degeneration BGM has been changed from Ridley's themes to Fury Bowser's themes because god DAMN do I like how the garbled rock lyrics work for him more than the joke of him also being a purple murder dragon.
The arrival into Ylisstol theme during Severa's Act II was changed from Studiopolis Zone Act 1 to A CYBER'S WORLD. I think it conveys the wonder and technology of the location just as well as the previous song, while also suiting the nighttime atmosphere more.
The Jambastation themes from Kirby: Star Allies are used in a new context in an upcoming act. Replacing them is the Underground (Edit Version) theme of NSMBU from Mario Maker.
The core Haltmann motif from Kirby: Planet Robobot has been removed. I am unsure if I will try to make it work in the story later on. Misc. songs that suit the scene more have replaced them.
Unfinished Battle (erroneously listed as Unfinished Business which I find very funny) from Xenoblade Chronicles has been changed to Queen Bella's Ball: Hard Ver. from Nights: Journey of Dreams in Severa's Act II Finale.
Tune of Tosterana from Super Mario Odyssey was changed because it was impossible to find an upload of it now. Now the recommended track is Desierto Caliente (World of the Dead) from Guacamelee
Bramble Blast from Super Smash Bros. Brawl was changed to Eterna Forest from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl during the group's expedition into the forest in Cordelia's Act II
Impromptu Q&A:
Q: Why is there an extended recreation of Sonic Adventure 2 in Lucina's Act II Part IX?
A: I have incredibly stupid ideas sometimes and the idea of Severa wearing a Shadow the Hedgehog mascot suit and holding a gun was a mental image I couldn't get enough of. If that sounds like a horrible excuse to you, that's because it is. But being more serious, my passion for the Sonic series can be seen very blatantly multiple times throughout this fic and I wanted to have one big moment that's like half a joke and half a serious attempt to do something different with Severa's character. However, I think the scene still works just fine if you have no idea what a Sonic Adventure is or why there's two of them.
Q: Why did you change the result of Lucina's fight with Marla?
A: I think Marla and Tiki were incredibly underutilized characters in the original version of the Valm Arc here. Giving Marla more to do and having her play off of Validar as a foil to him is more interesting, and Tiki has gained more scenes/will have more to do in Lucina's Act III.
Q: Why are these unlisted Acts within Acts like Grima's Tale or Validar's Tale?
A: I really, really like when pieces of media screw with the interface of how they're presented to convey a story. When the delivery of the media is integrated into the story itself. This can be stuff like the player being recognized as an entity in a video game (just don't do what David Cage did in Omikron please don't), or how Only Revolutions has an entirely different story printed on it and you have to flip the book upside-down to read it. I think having nested "Tales" within the others to represent when a character has basically wrested focus of the story away and onto them is a cool way to approach that idea without it being too confusing, while also having a spoiler of "X's Tale: Finale" or something in the chapter list. I also think the reverse order of parts in Validar's Tale accomplishes this as well, and writing it was some of the most fun I've had with the story due to how different it felt.
Q: Why did you even feel the need to rewrite the Valm Arc?
A: Put simply, I realized I had made a huge blunder in how it was concluded. Walhart is the equivalent of a, I don't know, a spoiled Fortnite kid? Is that topical? God, this isn't even funny why am I typing this. He's incredibly salty he missed the dub and is just living out a pathetic revenge power fantasy every day. He should not be rewarded with being the final conflict of an arc that puts a huge focus on Severa and Lucina's insecurities. He means nothing to them. It was a huge nothing of an ending in my eyes and didn't really advance either of them forward as characters. The new ending I have planned for Lucina's Act III veers hard into the opposite direction where Walhart is instead the catalyst for a much more interesting conflict and exploration of Lucina and Severa.
Q: Why did you make Singi drop a major curse word that starts with F and ends with Uck?
A: I try to avoid overindulging in curse words, which is ironic for a fic that has God knows how many uses of hell, damn, bastard, crap, etc. But the two big ones that Modern Warfare online lobbies like to throw out I try to avoid. However I also think my reluctance to use the F-bomb gives the singular use of one as allowed by the ESRB's guidelines for T-ratings a much more impactful effect. I feel like it adds something to Singi's character and adds to the intensity of the scene.
Q: (Entirely self-indulgent and imaginary question that no sane person would ever ask) Do you have any games you want to use more music from?
A: Undertale/Deltarune, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Paper Mario: The Origami King especially, and Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross.