Once they arrived on Alfheim, Sophie went to her thinking place (the shower) to consider Loki's revelation to her. One thought sprang to her mind instantly.
What did I do?
What was it that she did that made him decide he loved her? Because she never made any effort to make him interested in her romantically. She just walked around the complex living her life, existing in peace. Or so she thought. Loki did say he fell in love with her because of who she was. Was that true? Would he lie to her, when she'd made it clear before she expected complete honesty from any partner of hers? If he did tell her the truth, that just made things more complicated. Because she couldn't stop doing whatever it was that made him interested. How did a woman just stop being herself?!
Sophie groaned and lowered her head, letting the hot water wash over her. Why did he have to make this so difficult for her? He couldn't just let them continue as friends as they had been for years, all of a sudden he decided he had to tell her he loved her, at possibly the most crucial moment of her life! Maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe she was the one making this complicated. After all, why couldn't they be together if they wanted to? They would be two consenting adults. Sophie played back the conversation she'd just had with Loki while she scrubbed herself with a loofah doused in fragrant body wash.
Her first excuse, that she didn't know what love was, was true enough. She'd never been in love with a man before. While she did have a couple boyfriends in her life previously, deep in her heart she knew it wouldn't work out with them. She cared for them, sure, but they were not long term partner material. They were meant to be enjoyed for the moment, this one to three years or so each, then cast aside as she moved on with her life. Loki, on the other hand...he was the first that she could see spending the rest of her life with, long as that would probably be now. He was a good match for her, romantically and politically, in all ways possible. And because she was always thinking of herself and her life, she didn't know how to put a partner first. Suppose she messed things up with Loki because she was a selfish idiot?
Her second excuse, her concerns that physically, their races were drastically different and as far as they knew, two people of their type had never before joined together, was...admittedly a good point. However, Loki shut that one down immediately, recognizing it for what it was. An excuse, a lie. He was right, she was the sort of person that found a way to get what she wanted. She would find a way to have coitus with Loki safely if she wanted it badly enough...which she did. She couldn't stop thinking about exactly that, in fact. And Loki would be all too eager to assist her in finding a solution. That was one thing their acquaintance taught her. That they were a formidable team, and they could accomplish anything together.
Which led Sophie to thinking of her and Loki in bed. She...how could she measure up? If the stories were true, Loki had...quite the appetite. He'd had the sex with countless women and men! Maybe even a horse or two...how was Sophie supposed to compete with some stunningly beautiful goddess that he'd probably enjoyed? What if he found her limited experience and skills severely lacking and disappointing? If that side of things wasn't right between a couple, the entire relationship would fall apart.
Sophie sighed as she began to rinse herself off. She was getting ahead of herself. They didn't have to jump into bed immediately just because they agreed to be together. She reminded herself that if she was uncomfortable, she could tell him no, she wanted to take things slow. And if he pressed her, like her previous partners had...this time, she would not give in. She would drop him if he pushed it when she wasn't ready.
The final reason she had for refusing him, for being afraid to lose him, fretting such an event would cause her to lose all her carefully built independence and strength, that she would crumble and fall without him...that was what was really holding her back. Sophie got out of the shower, dried herself off, and applied body lotion as she called to Hilja. She ordered the servant to start up the fireplace in her bedchamber and make her some hot green tea with sugar. Sophie wrapped herself in a floor length, long sleeved emerald green robe made of velvet, wearing nothing else underneath, and settled onto the chaise longue in front of the already roaring fire.
Hilja returned shortly with a whole ass tea set instead of the single cup Sophie had asked for, in addition to a small plate bearing half an English Muffin slathered in salted butter, a small bowl of grits seasoned with butter, salt and pepper, a couple strips of chewy bacon, and a small bowl of strawberries. Sophie glanced at the food disdainfully.
"Is this a hint for me to eat something?" Sophie asked bluntly.
"It is breakfast time, Your Majesty," Hilja responded timidly as she poured a delicate china cup full of tea and mixed in some sugar.
"Very well," Sophie said sourly.
She picked up the half English Muffin and bit into it, chewing moodily. Slowly, she made her way through the meal, not really paying attention to what she put into her mouth. When she was finished, she simply sat and sipped her tea, staring into the fire as her thoughts wandered. Soeren entered the room after a few minutes of this.
"Your Majesty, I know things are in a delicate state at the moment, but there is a matter which we really must discuss," the elf said, closing the door to her bedchamber behind him and crossing the room to stand in front of her.
"Alright, Soeren. Go ahead," Sophie replied without inflection, taking another sip of tea.
"You are queen now. We do not know how long you shall live, as your blood is both elven and human. Perhaps it is best we proceed as if time is limited..."
Sophie raised her eyes to lock eyes with him, but he would not meet her gaze.
"Out with it," she said calmly, "What are you trying to say?"
"Should you die without an heir..." Soeren said awkwardly.
She raised her brows. She wondered when this was coming.
"It isn't, well, extremely imminent," the bodyguard went on hastily, "You must find a consort first."
In spite of her strangely numb feeling inside, a slow smirk pulled at the corners of her lips.
"Consort?" she asked in a bemused tone.
"Yes. While officially the one you wed would be granted the formal title of King of Alfheim, in practice it is a bit different. Unlike other realms, we have no biases based on gender. The child of the previous ruler is the one with the most power, whether that person be male or female. Your chosen consort would of course not be powerless here, but most of it would still rest with you, as the former Crown Princess and daughter to the former king."
"I see."
"And the uh, well, a list has been drawn up of suitable persons. You'll be presented with it formally during the meeting Cirrus has arranged, I'm not sure which one it is. But I'm here to give you prior warning."
Sophie nodded, a gesture he took to continue.
"Vanaheim was the first thought, but I at least know how you feel about their close relationship to Asgard. Given the situation with Vidar, I personally don't think anyone so close to that realm is ideal, not as long as Odin is in power. Muspelheim is absolutely out of the question. Svartalfheim is as well, for obvious reasons. You could wed someone from Alfheim, but the aim is to gain a binding alliance with another realm if possible. I would not insult you by suggesting Nidavellir, but others might. King Eitri is a friend of yours, I know, but given his stature...it is unlikely the difference between your sizes would allow, mechanically speaking, for relations to be conducted between you in the first place, never mind conceive an heir. That would be easier with his son, but we aren't that desperate yet. Which brings me...to Loki. He, in many opinions, is the ideal selection. As king of both Jotunheim and Midgard, not to mention he is set to take the throne of Asgard as soon as Odin dies..."
Sophie had looked away as soon as Loki's name was mentioned. Soeren noticed this and trailed off mid tirade.
"Your Majesty?" Soeren asked after a few moments, arching one eyebrow.
Sophie sipped her tea to buy herself a few seconds.
"King Loki has already...presented himself as in interested party," she responded carefully.
Both of Soeren's eyebrows went up now.
"He has proposed to you?"
"Not as such," Sophie replied, a touch peevishly.
She didn't even know if she would accept him into the interview position of "partner" much less if she wanted to promote him to "lover", never mind "husband" and "king". As much pressure as she was under in her official capacity as the queen, it was getting to be a touch too much now. She had to draw the line somewhere. Should she not do that in her choice of husband? True, she should marry for her people, as a queen did not have the luxury of personal happiness. Still, whoever she chose would be the closest person to her for the rest of her life, which could be thousands of years. She didn't know if she could put up with someone that she wound up despising. Then again, maybe she didn't have to! She could just stab her husband as soon as she had his child in her belly if he annoyed her too much. And yet, at the same time, Soeren made an excellent point. Both politically and personally speaking, Loki was far and above the best choice. Damn him.
"I hate to disappoint you Soeren, but I am not a virgin," Sophie said.
"...Okay?"
"Well, isn't there some stupid rule about the queen having to be a virgin so we can be certain any child I have belongs to the king?"
Soeren chuckled and shook his head.
"You watch too many historical Midgardian dramas," he replied with a smirk, "You forget how advanced Alfheim is. We have long been able to take genetic samples to determine the parentage of a child, centuries before Midgard gained that ability."
"Oh. Good then. One less thing to worry about."
She sipped her tea some more, but Soeren was still looking at her.
"Yet you still have that contemplative look on your face. Have you given Loki an answer yet?"
"No. He only mentioned his supposed feelings to me this morning. I was considering what I would say to him and when I might be ready to say anything at all to him."
"He does love you," Soeren said softly, "No matter your doubts, do not doubt that."
Sophie looked up at him, surprised.
"I got the feeling you detested each other," she said.
Soeren grimaced.
"He is not my favorite person in the Nine Realms and never has been, that much is certain. However, I do know he has your best interests at heart, which is all I am concerned with as your bodyguard and friend. As a citizen of Alfheim I might be worried about which of his realms he would prioritize, but I need not be concerned about that, as I know we rank first in your estimation at least."
"Where did you come by the intelligence that he loved me? And why did you not tell me as soon as you knew?"
"I knew when we departed the New Years Eve party a couple years back. He stopped me on the way out and simply said, 'Look after her'. By the look in his eyes, I knew what he meant. I knew then what was in his heart, even if he at the time did not, as I suspect. I did not inform you of this because he is a man, and that is up to him to confess to you. If he didn't have the balls to tell you himself, then he wouldn't be worthy of you. Besides, it wasn't my place to put myself in the middle anyway."
Sophie snorted gently.
"And what are you doing right now?"
"Offering my counsel. If I had told you before Loki did, then it would have been as if I was a child tattling to mother that I found someone with their hand in the cookie jar. Neither I or Loki are children. Such games are beneath us."
"Very well. I shall consider your input and give a response presently."
Soeren bowed, and left her alone. Sophie drank more tea and turned her head to stare into the fire some more. Loki had said he didn't know when he started loving her, but that it was in him for a long time without him knowing. Now that Sophie thought about it, she realized the same held true for her. She could not place her finger on the precise moment in time that she fell in love with him, but she knew he would not have been so constantly on her mind for the past years were that not the case. Then she thought, she already came up with the worst thing that could happen if she tried to make it work with Loki. What was the flip side? The time she spent with him could be the best decision she ever made. Was she willing to risk missing out on that because she feared a future that might never come to pass?
Though she suspected the answer was no, Sophie gave herself the remainder of the day and night to consider and be sure that she arrived at a good decision. Once she'd slept on it and still hadn't changed her mind, she knew what she had to do. Hilja helped her dress while Sophie attempted to hide her nerves. Soeren sent out a message to Loki that Sophie wanted to see him. Sophie took her place on her throne, clasping the arms so that she could hide her shaking hands. Soeren took up a position in his smoke form in the corner, so that he could observe and ensure his queen was safe, but be ignored at the same time. Not that he thought Loki was a danger to her, or that she couldn't handle him even if Loki dealt out a surprise. Soeren was just the careful sort. He watched Loki saunter into the throne room, already wearing a smirk that made the bodyguard want to throttle him.
"You wished to see me?" Loki asked, "I take it you have given what I said due consideration and have come up with a response."
Sophie took in a deep breath.
"Indeed," Sophie said, standing and making her way down to the base of the steps before her throne, "Upon reflection, I have decided to accept the exploration of what a romantic relationship could mean for us both."
"So formal," Loki frowned, "I think you may have misunderstood my intentions. Allow me to afford you more clarity."
He strode forward so quickly all Sophie had time to do was take in a startled breath. The next instant, he was kissing her. It was not soft or gentle, but firm and full of passion. Feeling her head spin, Sophie put one hand over his shoulder to steady herself, then clung to his shirt with her other hand. Meanwhile, Loki slipped one hand around the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair, gently tilting her head back to deepen the kiss while his other hand slid around her back to rest just above her behind in the small of her back, pulling her closer against him. Watching from the corner, Soeren considered turning corporeal and shoving Loki away from his queen. But he stopped when he realize Sophie was a grown woman and was more than capable of slapping Loki if she did not appreciate his advances before he had been granted permission to show his affection.
Sophie did not seem to object at all, because she did not knee Loki in the groin, shove him away, or slap him. In fact, Sophie was enjoying both Loki's boldness and his technique. In her previous experience with kissing, a man would either peck her on the lips like he was a blasted chicken or something, or he would attempt to suck her face off while simultaneously choking her with his tongue. Loki did none of this. He simply fitted his lips to hers, applying firm but not hard pressure, allowing their lips to meld together. It was just as heated as the other sort of kissing, but more sensuous. She found herself making appreciative noises before too long, kissing him in return. After a few moments, Loki pulled away slightly, nuzzling his nose against hers.
"Understand now, kitten?" Loki asked, his voice slightly hoarse.
Sophie was pleased to hear that tone in his voice. She didn't think he would sound that way if he was just toying with her.
"Mmmm," she hummed in agreement, realizing she was smiling like an idiot, "But I may need frequent reminders."
"I would be eager to assist," Loki murmured in her ear.
"I'm sure," Sophie drawled.
She fiddled with a fold of his jacket nervously as she glanced up at him.
"So...I think we should have people from both Alfheim and Jotunheim get together and look into the concerns I mentioned regarding child prevention," Sophie said slowly, "Because I am quite curious about you."
Loki smiled.
"I could say the same. I am glad you don't want to hold off on that side of things too long."
"Just long enough to ensure we can conduct our activities safely," Sophie replied, "After we have that assurance, we can just let sex between us happen naturally and spontaneously. There's no need to schedule a date for it or to fret over it."
"I couldn't agree more. In the meantime, there are other things we can do."
Sophie tilted her head to one side as she gazed up at him. He was so very tall...bloody viking god.
"Where are you going with this, Loki?"
"I wouldn't think it out of line to request a Midgardian style date to encourage affections."
Sophie laughed lightly at his phrasing.
"You're asking me on a date? What are you planning?"
"A picnic. On the water."
Boating and a picnic combined. Sophie like the idea and said as much. But she had to make sure he was clear on a couple more points.
"You realize this means you must be completely honest with me, in all things, at all times. No half truths, no conveniently not mentioning things to me, no deception at all."
"I do, yes."
"And you are prepared for that?"
"I am."
"Very well. One other thing, Loki. If you at any time grow bored or tired of me, I expect you to tell me. If you have sexual relations with another, I expect you to inform me immediately. After which you will be tested for any diseases again before I agree to more sex with you, if I should even wish to continue seeing you. I don't know how I'd react to such news. I can't say for certain. But you will tell me if this happens."
Loki gave her a long, confused look.
"When I have you before me, kitten, why should I even think of looking elsewhere?"
"It's when I'm not before you that concerns me, actually. Out of sight, out of mind as they say."
"Not mine. If you only knew how often I think of you. No other woman could ever hold a light to your radiance."
Sophie's eyes wandered to the floor between their feet. Saying it was all very good and well, but...they would see. A few moments of silence passed.
"Have you been betrayed by a lover before?" Loki asked at last.
"No. I just...I find it difficult to trust people. I have been hurt before, by nearly everyone to get close to me it seems."
"And I am untrustworthy in general," Loki nodded.
Sophie looked at him, a steely light in her eyes.
"Maybe. But I am making the decision to trust you anyway."
"You won't regret that choice," Loki said seriously.
Sophie felt a lot better now that they were able to have a mature adult conversation about this. When she gave select scientists from her realm their instructions, they didn't even bat an eye. They apparently worked seamlessly with the representatives on Jotunheim about the issue at hand. This did not mean, however, that the rumors were kept in check. According to the court, she and Loki engaged in wild, acrobatic sex at any moment that they were left alone together. It was ridiculous, really, the extent of the gossip. One would think the entire bloody realm was involved in this courtship, not just two people. Admittedly, if things went well enough, the rest of the realm would be affected, but that was too far down the road for people to be thinking about now, wasn't it? Probably not. The long lived were certainly long term thinkers. At least no one seemed displeased with her choice of partner.
In the meantime, Loki took his task of wooing Sophie seriously, as if he could tell she was actively holding herself back. In spite of her constant warnings to herself that she should reserve discernment, she found herself won over bit by bit with each day that passed. Loki was charming, but she'd known that before. He was also a very attentive and romantic person when he wanted to be, which surprised her. He'd made no secret in the past of his derision for sentiment. It was the small things he did to show his feelings that she appreciated.
The little, sudden touches were never too lingering or in a spot she wasn't comfortable with. She liked the way he would occasionally feed her tidbits of food, held carefully between the fingers of his that she admired so much. He listened to her and actually heard what she said, and Sophie could tell this was the case because he would mention her words at a later time, when Sophie expected he had already forgotten. But it wasn't pointed, when he did this, it blended into the conversation perfectly. And she could tell he took time out of his day to come to her and spend time with her, as was appropriate, since she couldn't teleport between realms whenever the fancy took her.
When the word finally came that the scientists had discovered an effective way to prevent contraception between their two different races, Sophie felt her anxiety increase for a few minutes. Then she shoved the thought firmly from her mind, resolving not to worry about it, to just be in the moment with Loki and enjoy his company. The rest could come later.