The Cannibal's Guide to Easy Living

by lisbeth00

After a family vacation and her mother's murder, Bella Swan disappears for two years. She appears in Forks scarred, distant, and focused on none else but living as simple a life as possible.

19. Protect Yourself

Rule Nineteen | Protect Yourself

"I'm not wearing that."

"Yes you are."

"No. I'm not."

"Bella."

"What the fuck even is that?"

She pointed at the dark, flowery scrap of fabric Alice held in front of her chest, her little fingers swinging it back and forth like a matador.

"It's a blouse."

"I wear shirts."

"It's a top, look-" Alice grabbed the coat they'd settled on. Long, tweed, and a deep charcoal that hardly belied the pattern of its stitching. "We need something to go with this and a pair of pants. Actual, proper pants, not those… things you usually wear."

"You said you like my jeans!"

"Not with this coat I don't!"

Glancing around, Bella winced at the look the shop clerk was giving them. Scrambling, she grabbed the first plain piece of cloth she could see. "White sweater," she said, throwing it at Alice, before spinning around and reaching for the first pair of pants she saw. "Black pants, not too dark. Hmm? Does that work?"

Alice, meanwhile, had snatched all the clothes out of the air and was glaring at them as they lay folded across her arms. Her glare weakened and slowly, she began to nod. "Alright. Alright. I can work with this."

"...You can?"

"Good. Simple. Right amount of texture…" she raised the sweater in front of her, head tilting this way and that as she looked it over. "Maybe a lighter shade on the pants but… good lord, Bella. You're actually good at this."

"Of course I am."

"Do you have any shoes? Simple leather shoes? Boots, maybe?"

"No. I wear sneakers. You know this. And the boots I have aren't going with those, even I could tell you that."

Even as the words left Bella's mouth Alice was already marching towards the till, proudly slapping Bella's new clothes onto the counter and pulling out a credit card that was far too metallic and very obviously ostentatious. Bella practically hip checked her as she pushed to the front of the counter, a billfold pulled from her wallet and a triumphant glint in her eyes.

"She's not paying for me."

"I am!"

"Rosalie's already fixing my goddamn car. I can pay for myself."

The clerk only shrugged, pointing at the triple digits on the till display. Clumsily, Bella pried the stack of dead man's cash apart and handed over the three hundred and- fuck that's an expensive coat. She tried very hard not to think about it and instead focused on the muted whining from Alice next to her as the clerk packed her things away, snatching the bag with a thin smile and a muted 'thank you' before marching out the door.

"I'm paying for your boots," Alice exclaimed as the door shut behind her, arms crossed and an imperious look on her face. "At least let me do that much."

"It's not even-" Leaning forward, Bella cupped her mouth. "I took the money off my last meal. It's more than enough. Guy was a dealer, so he had stacks."

"You- you paid for your date clothes with blood money?" Slapping her hand across her mouth, Alice blinked rapidly. "I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed."

"I am what I am. Might as well put it to good use, you know?"

"You're no better than a nomad."

"And you're helping me buy clothes for a date with one."

"A date, you say?"

Both Alice and Bella whirled around to see-

"Victoria."

Bella said it not as a question but a curse, her jaw snapping shut and the bags in her arms - hardly noticeable to one with her strength - made terribly heavy.

"Are you stalking me?"

"Stalking you? Heavens no." Leaning against the shop wall, Victoria inspected her nails, sighing wearily. "Dreadful, really. I've decided to rent an apartment in this little town. Now tell me… what ferocious thing has gotten your attention?"

"So you're Victoria!" Alice exclaimed, her mouth frozen in some strange inbetween of a grimace and a smile. "Sneaky, aren't we?"

"Me? Not at all."

She turned to Bella with a look that said, 'this is your fault,' and all Bella could do was frown, wondering why Alice was blinking at her. Not winking, but blinking, and not so subtly pointing towards her eyes.

Her eyes.

Oh.

She couldn't see Victoria coming. Because of Bella.

That was concerning. Wasn't it?

"You're looking for an apartment?"

"I've already found one. I've had quite a bit stashed away in case of a rainy day, or if I just so happened to lose my mind which, in this case might well be true. Because I seem to have heard you say you have a date. With a nomad." Tapping her chin, the smile Victoria gave her was nothing short of sinful. "I wouldn't happen to have any competition, would I?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up. You know exactly what I said."

"I do. I'd just like to hear you say it again."

"I won't."

"When should I pick you up?"

Bella pursed her lips. "I'm starting to rethink my decision."

"I am too," Alice shot out from the side. "I think you can do better."

Laboriously, as if burdened by the weight of Atlas himself, Victoria dragged herself away from the wall and put her hands out plaintively. "Too much teasing?"

"Yep."

"I'll save it for the third date."

Ignoring her, Bella continued. "And what's your plan for our date?"

"Well that would spoil the fun, wouldn't it? But…" She crossed her arms, looking over the bag Bella was holding. "...I'd say you should dress warm and functional. A sturdy pair of boots would help."

"Are… are you taking me hunting?" Bella asked, unable to shake the image of a hand in a cooler from her mind.

"No. Would you like to go hunting?"

"No."

"Then we won't."

"Good."

"Excellent."

Alice coughed. "Good lord, you two are strange. Makes sense though."

"Why?"

"You're weird, that means that anyone interested in you would be weird too."

"Thanks. Thank you so much. You're a great friend."

"I'm weird too." She shrugged, gesturing to herself as if to say, 'come on, just look at me.'

"Everyone is weird. That's just a human thing."

"Human?" Victoria interrupted.

"You know what I mean. Jeez. You know what, gimme a sec." Grumbling, Bella fished around in her shopping bag before drawing out the receipt. "Got a pen?"

Silently, Victoria offered her one, a surprisingly classy fountain pen that was quite old, but obviously well cared for. Bella didn't comment as she scrawled her number across the back of the receipt, hoping the ink would stick to the semi-slick surface, blowing on it a few times for good measure. She handed it to Victoria alongside the pen, before taking a deep breath.

"Shoot me a text or something when you've got yourself settled."

"So transactional," Victoria murmured, glancing at the receipt with a raised brow. "Where's that fire gone, I wonder?"

"I'm fuckin' tired, okay? Because someone was throwing pebbles at my window at two in the goddamn morning."

"The body of a mortal is such a feeble thing, don't you think?" She asked, eyes flicking towards Alice as if expecting a reply. "I'd hate to break you should we… hit it off."

"Don't make me eat you."

"Promise?"

The sigh that slipped past Bella's lips was supposed to be exhausted, but she couldn't hide the faint amusement she felt. Victoria was far too clever for her own good and, hell, she loved a good raunchy joke herself. She really was tired though, but it wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with the sensation. It was mostly Alice being there that put her off, and she couldn't shake the feeling of… she didn't know what it was but she didn't like it all that much. Not judgement. Certainly not. But something close to it.

Vetted, perhaps. And maybe it was all in her head because if Bella was to be completely honest dating hadn't ever gone well for her in the past, and scars were scars, mental or not. A heavy gouge left from a one off that was a fucking terror, to put it kindly, and resulted in a paranoia that she knew she wouldn't shake off any time soon.

Paranoia. That was familiar too.

And oh, that's what she was feeling. Paranoid. Watched. Like a hundred eyes were burning into her spine and she'd just now realized how heavy they were.

Am I rushing into this?

Was it too soon to go on a date? She'd just realized she was immortal and that vampires mated for life which wasn't really life it was actually eternity and-

I'm good. I'm fine. It's just a fuckin' date.

Yeah, Victoria was a bit scary but… every vampire was when you got down to it. Same with ghouls, and while she'd gotten used to the whole supernatural world shindig it was still another thing entirely to be stuck behaving like a goddamn cat half the time. Skittish, yet cuddly to the extreme, and Bella didn't do cuddly.

Just play it cool.

"Just call me or something," she finally said, forcing the words past her lips and trying to recall how long she'd been silent.

A while, judging by the look Alice gave her, and Bella mentally shrugged at the sight. She was weird - a spacey, cannibal daydreamer. Might as well embrace it.

"And if I don't have a phone?"

"Buy one."

At that, Victoria grinned. "There it is."

"I swear to god I'll cancel on you."

"You wouldn't."

The way Victoria said it was less a dare and more a statement of fact, complete and utter certainty in her voice.

Bella couldn't help but rise to the challenge.

"Yeah? And why wouldn't I?"

"Because." She took a step closer, biting her lip, and Bella heard more than felt the sudden race of her heart. It was thunder in her ears, a damnable blush that burst across her cheeks in a pink-painted corona that burned, painfully bright, with the proof of her attraction. Victoria saw it too. Smelled it, what with the flare of her nostrils and the sudden intake of breath next to Bella marking Alice's realization. The plight of the supernatural, something Bella cursed in that moment, because it made her aware of the fact that all those times she'd picked up the scent of someone's… interest, for lack of a better word, her newfound friends would as well. Notably hers, and the lack of privacy nearly made her wilt and stubbornly square her shoulders at the same time.

"Because?"

"Because of that," Victoria stated, tapping her cheek softly with one, slender finger. "Your tongue may lie but your heart, well… she's not so kind, is she?"

"Damn. Get a room, you two."

They both froze, and mortified, Bella turned to Alice. "I wasn't-"

Her friend was waving her hand in front of her nose, grinning wildly. "The pheromones are… god. I might make you walk home."

"Jesus Christ."

Victoria, meanwhile, laughed far too loud and far too gleefully, clasping her hands together and leaning backwards. "You two are wonderful. But I really do have to get some furniture. And perhaps find a job. You wouldn't happen to know anyone interested in hiring a vampire, would you?"

"No. And with that, I think it's time we leave. Bella?"

"Yeah? Oh, yeah. Uh-" Awkwardly saluting Victoria, Bella lifted the bag and gestured to it. "Gotta' go. See you around and- stop being so fucking weird, okay?"

"You know you love it."

"No I don't!" She called, following Alice as she power walked away, huffing beneath her breath. "Hey, wait up-"

"Nope. Not after watching that. Not a chance."

"I wasn't that bad-"

"You were practically drooling. God, if only she'd get her head out of her ass-"

"Who, Victoria?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Yes. Victoria."

Bella frowned, pointing down the street. "Didn't you want to go to the shoe store?"

"Not anymore. Didn't you hear her? Functional. You've got functional aplenty. Nothing to worry about there."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Pausing, Alice smiled at Bella reassuringly. "Really, I'm fine. Just thinking about something."

"You gonna' give her the shovel talk?"

"Do I look like that kind of person?"

"I don't know. You're kinda' scary sometimes. You know, showing up and bothering people in the dead of night?"

"That was one time."

"Seems like everyone's doing it nowadays."

"It's just how vampires work. We like to climb trees."

"And throw rocks at people's windows?"

"Oh yeah. We love doing that."

Laughing, Bella lightly punched Alice on the shoulder. "You're an asshole."

"Hey. That's what you get for making friends with all us Cullens. You should see us when we go hunting, it's just everyone making fun of everyone. Emmett is the worst, of course, but Esme always gets the last word."

"Esme?"

"You haven't seen her when she's mad. Or taking something seriously. She's frightening sometimes. Way, way too competitive."

"Always the quiet ones?"

"Absolutely. C'mon, right over here."

Bella looked up, realizing where they were. "I thought you said we weren't going to the shop?"

"Seriously? You thought we weren't going?" Snickering, Alice tilted her head towards the door. "I lied. Come on, let's go."

-::-

"You look dead on your feet."

"I went shopping with Alice," Bella groused, kicking her shoes off at the door and dumping the bags she carried next to them. Leaning over, she cracked her back, her eyes shutting and a gasp escaping her when a series of pops echoed off the foyer walls. "Goddamn."

"That bad?" Charlie asked, brows raised over the beer he was sipping, the TV ringing dully in the background.

"She's like a slave driver. Seriously, that girl is terrifying. I didn't even know what brogues were until she gave me a lecture on… wingtips or god knows what. They're just shoes. Shoes. It's shit you put on your feet. What's the big deal?"

He put up his hands, a smirk barely hidden behind his beard. "Hey, don't ask me. I'm not an expert either. Though it sounds like you could teach me something about it now."

"I don't even want to look at shoes anymore. I'm going to go barefoot for the rest of my life."

"In Forks? Good luck with that."

"And I'm being bullied by my dad too. What a wonderful day."

They both looked at one another for a moment before snorting, and Bella let out a quiet breath. It felt good to joke around with her dad. Felt like old times, when she'd come and visit him in the summers and ride around in the cruiser, joining the weekend barbeques out at La Push or even just hanging out on the front porch, listening to the birds and talking until the sun set and she was too tired to carry on.

For a few moments Bella felt lost, staring at Charlie with a clenched jaw and subtle frown. She shook it off after a second, forcing a smile and walking over to join him on the couch. It smelled of beer and stale gunpowder, and in a drawer at the bottom of it she knew there to be a rag that Charlie would use to wipe down his gun every day, and beyond it - on the far wall - the locked cabinet where he kept his spare pistol and a box of ammunition. It always smelled odd though, not solely of gunpowder but something strangely familiar, something that stung her nose and made Bella subtly flinch away from it whenever she came too near.

Slapping her knees, she turned her head and gave him a proper smile, before leaning into the couch and shutting her eyes. "Your day go well?"

"Boring as always. Nothing happens here 'cept for drunks and jaywalkers."

"Mallory?"

Charlie grunted, shaking his head. "Yup. That guy's been a regular in our drunk tank for twenty odd years."

He'd complained to her about Mallory before. A man who peaked in a small town high-school and never left. The kind of man Bella thought you'd see at a high-school reunion and feel pity for him if he wasn't so damn annoying. Thank god his kid had gotten out of town. Charlie's own words when she'd asked him about the people her age around Forks. Moved away as soon as she'd graduated and holed herself up in a dorm room somewhere in Seattle.

Bella made a note of looking up a photo of Mallory so she didn't eat the poor girl. Just in case.

"So nothing new?"

"Nothing new, thank god. Makes my life easy but boring. And you know that if something new did happen I'd be telling you about it as soon as you walked in the door." He glanced over his shoulder, pointing his beer at the shopping bags Bella had left at the door. "Something new in your life?"

Sucking in a breath, she slowly nodded. "Yeah. I uh- might have a date? I dunno' really. Just seeing what happens."

"Do I know her? It's Forks, so… I probably know her."

Bella laughed. "No. I actually met her up in Port Angeles."

"You did, eh? What's she like?"

Gnawing on her lip, Bella bobbed her head back and forth. "Sassy. Funny. Very carefree."

"You got all that from one conversation?"

"Two. Ran into her for the second time today."

Or third, if she was being honest.

"So, when's the date?"

"Still waiting on a text," she said, patting her waist. "Or a call. She's a bit old fashioned so… probably a call."

That made Charlie pause, and he pointed at her. "How old is this girl?"

"Twenty two?"

"You're way too-" His jaw clacked shut and his finger retracted. "Nineteen. Forgot again."

"It's fine."

He sighed, swirling the beer around in his bottle before finishing it off with one long gulp. "Still getting used to that. I can hardly believe you're here sometimes, you know? I wake up some nights and… and I have to remind myself that you're in the room next to me, safe and sound." Tears burned in his eyes as he looked at Bella, moustache quirked as he tried to wrestle his lips into something resembling straight. "I'm so happy you're here, Bella. I'm so, so happy you're here."

"I love you too, dad."

A small, awkward noise echoed in the back of his throat, and Charlie nodded. "Love you too, kid." He then chuckled, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Never been good at saying that, but for you? For you, Bella? Anything."

"Oh c'mon," she breathed, looking away. "You're gonna' make me cry too."

"Just wanted you to know that I care. A lot."

"I'm happy I'm here. Really. I think Forks is the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time."

"You mean it?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

Charlie snorted, setting his empty bottle down. "I'd wash your mouth out with soap if you were any younger. But… you sound just like I was at your age."

"You swore a lot?"

"A whole lot. Got me into a whole lot of trouble with your grandmother. She'd make me go out there-" he pointed towards the back door. "-and choose the stick she'd smack me across the wrists with."

"You never told me you grew up in this house."

"No? I could've sworn I did." Blinking slowly, Charlie threw one arm over the sofa and glanced up at the ceiling. "Your room used to be mine, way back when. And my room was my parents. When they passed I left town, took a job in Seattle. It was only when I met your mother that I moved back here and… well, I had to clean it all up. I'd left it to rot for so long but, you knew your mother, she just thought it was a fun challenge to put it all back together."

"Yeah… that sounds like her."

The moment the words left her Bella could hear Charlie thinking. His fingers drummed against the sofa arm and his heart rate quickened. She frowned, opening her mouth to ask him what he was thinking about when Charlie spoke.

"Did she… was it quick?"

"Was what quick?" she asked, her voice thin.

"Your mother… when she- when she-"

"No. No. It wasn't."

"Ah."

He swallowed, the sound of it loud even against the droning of the television, some commercial dragging on in the background full of static and the whiny, excited voice of a celebrity long past their prime. But Bella could barely hear anything over the pounding of her own heart, could hardly think past the sudden dryness of her mouth, tongue scraping against her teeth and fingers clenching, digging into her thighs. Because now all she could see was cracked teeth, broken bones, and the still heaving, jellied mass of meat that once was Renée Higgenbotham.

You're never like this, a small part of her whispered, needling at the back of her mind. You're off balance.

And she was. She was tense, skittish as a cat and so twisted up by pretty much everything in her life that two years worth of barriers had been stripped away without so much as a whisper. Bella didn't think about her mother. She didn't think about an evening spent staring at a cracked pot and punctuated by the steady drip of blood, the wet whistle of bubbles eked out of a shattered windpipe.

Bella had successfully spent the last two years very much not thinking about that, and now here she was, sitting next to the man that had, in one night, lost more than she could ever comprehend.

"I'm sorry," came her broken whisper. "I'm sorry, I…" Another breath, this one choked, caught in her throat and far too reminiscent of- "I have to go."

It was with a crack that she stood, knees popping as, mechanically, Bella turned around, blinking only to find herself with her shoes in hand and Charlie whispering apologies behind her. Another blink and Bella was outside, some distant part of her realizing that she was running, her father's voice calling out in the distance. Still, she ran, picking up so much speed that the wind screamed in her ears, rubber crashing against asphalt with nearly enough force to crack it, if barely, until she broke past the street and into the trees, fallen branches whipping at her face and splintering the instant they touched her hardened flesh. They flew like shrapnel, battering the sturdy trunks that she wove in and out of, and as icy chunks of mud sprayed around her ankles, mixed with the white shock of frost, Bella remembered.

She remembered the heat of fresh blood, the ecstacy of marrow. Even now she could taste it, the memory of her mother's flesh burned into her psyche and her very soul.

The forest closed in around her, dense throngs of mossy bark and a few bare scraps of moonlight seeping in from above, cutting ribbons through the air and made hallowed by the rustle of deer, the quiet chirp of mice as she burst through the foliage and laid their home to waste.

Bella stumbled, arms outstretched as she tumbled at a hundred miles an hour, smashing into a tree and bowling out the other side. It crumpled behind her, toppling to the ground with a crash that shook the forest floor and made her bones quake, yet her mind returned to her at the taste of blood in her mouth. Her own blood, warm and untainted by the sweetness she'd come to associate with it. Instead it was of rust, of copper, of all the mundanity she'd long forgotten and, until now, thought she'd escaped.

Panting, though she had no need for it, Bella rolled onto her back and dug her fingers into the hardened mud, cracking its surface. What she would once have to chip at with a shovel instead yielded beneath her touch, the thin crackle of frost burning in her ears and the mist of her breath disappearing into the slight wind that wound its way through the woods. It smelled of rot, of must, of sharp pine and the stink of animal droppings.

And suddenly, it smelled of Rosalie.

Floral, light, the slightest tinge of citrus that was so alien to this place that Bella's breath caught in her throat, her fingers stilling and a low whine bubbling in her chest. She closed her eyes, opening them to see blonde hair and a tall figure edged in moonlight as it stood over her, the slightest shine of gold peeking out from their shadowed face.

"We heard you," it spoke, kneeling in the dirt. A cold hand reached out to her, pressing lightly against her forearm, and Bella came screaming back to reality.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We don't sleep, remember?"

"No, I-" Sucking in a breath, she shut her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you don't sleep."

"But you do."

"I can't go back there. Not tonight."

"Then don't." Rosalie's hold grew firm and she tugged at Bella's arm. "You need a bath. Come."

She allowed herself to be dragged up, hoisted off the ground as if a corpse on a wire. Through the dark and the damp she stumbled, Rosalie's hand on the small of her back and slowly but surely guiding Bella through the woods. They did not speak, and as the adrenaline left her and her heart began to still, Bella wrestled with the emotions that she'd tried so hard to bury and locked them back up. They could be dealt with another day, a brighter day when she wasn't left haggard by new, frightful instincts that pecked at her mind and pushed her into stranger and stranger territory.

They walked, and Bella eventually laid eyes on the fluorescent glow of the Cullen home as it peeked into the woods. It felt as though it cut through her and brought comfort all the same. A haven of glass and timber standing prominent against the sharp line of trees more ancient than even the creatures that lay silent within its many walls.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rosalie asked, her voice quiet. Gentle.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow it is."

Bella finally breathed a sigh of relief. And though her mind was electric, her nerves shot, the guiding warmth of the home in front of her carried with it ease. She'd been through worse and, strangely, the idea of telling the Cullens her greatest nightmare didn't bring with it the sting she'd expected.

Tomorrow it is.