Chapter 4

Maisie glanced down at her watch, checking the time again as she slowed Annike to a walk once more. Come on, come on, she begged, as she saw it was nearing time for the bomb to explode. I hope I set that timer right-

A loud boom interrupted her thoughts, and she glanced back at where she'd come from. There, on the horizon, smoke was wafting up to the blue skies above. A huge smirk came to her expression. That would have the German's scrambling frantically trying to figure out what had happened to their refinery. A slight twinge of her conscience stung as she thought of the young soldier driving the truck. He seemed like a nice, sincere young man- No, you cannot think of that, she reminded herself, as she urged the mare back into a trot. It was a struggle she had to constantly drag her thoughts away from. The innocent people being killed as a result of the sabotage. They had family, friends, like her. They were trapped in the war just like she was. You're helping the war to end sooner- She tried to convince herself to dull her conscience again. If the refinery were allowed to operate, more lives would be lost as a result.

It was a weak excuse, and she knew it. Her Uncle had known of her struggle. He'd shared that he went through the same thoughts as she had, but assured her they were doing the right thing. Any act of sabotage, small or large, that would help the Allied forces win and bring Germany to their knees had to be undertaken; regardless of the innocent lives claimed as a result. This was war. People died in war. People were killed. It was as simple as that.

With the assurance the refinery had been blown, her mind returned to other matters. Colonel Hogan. I hope he's alright. Annike sped up into a canter, and she pulled her back to a trot, holding on tight to the front of the saddle. I sure could have used some more riding lessons, she thought grimly, her mouth set in a hard line. Lena had taught her the basics of how to stay on a horse, but she was by no means experienced. It was only a sheer miracle that the mare was so gentle and easygoing that the mission had been successful so far. Her legs and rear were aching, and she tried to ignore the cramp coming into her arm from keeping hold of the reins. It's not much further, now.

Time seemed to drag on as they made their way back to the farm, the sun rising high overhead. Finally, in the distance, she could make out buildings on the horizon. Annike trotted faster, eager to get home, and she let her have her head as she held on tight to the saddle. The mare jumped into a canter down the drive, then slowed as they came to the back of the house.

'Maisie, you made it.'

'I made it.' She replied wearily, as she slid off the mare's back, Jenny coming down the stairs to meet her. 'Have you heard any word of Colonel Hogan?'

The grey haired woman shook her head, offering the mare another sliver of apple. 'No dear, I'm sorry.' She ran her hand down the horse's forehead. 'How did your mission go?'

'Didn't you hear the explosion?'

'Over this wind?'

Maisie frowned, realizing that it was quite windy, and it was blowing towards the direction of the refinery. 'I guess you wouldn't have. The mission was carried out successfully. Didn't have any problems, thankfully-' She winced as she took a few steps on her aching legs. 'But I'm the first to admit I'm a terrible rider.'

Jenny chuckled. 'It was a long ride, my dear. Why don't you head inside and keep an eye on the bread for me, and I'll put Annike back in her stall.'

'No, it's alright. I'll take care of her. That I do know how to do.'

'When you come in, I'll have some warm cookies waiting for you.'

That made the long ride worth it, and she smiled as she brought the reins over the mare's head. 'Danke.'

The mare followed her calmly to the barn, her aches and stiffness starting to ease the more she walked. The mission was finished, the target had been taken care of, and she could breathe easily again. With it taken care of, she could focus her attention on more important things. Colonel Hogan. Annike helped herself to some water after the girl led her into the stall, Maisie's expression sober as she began to remove the mare's gear. It had only been two days since he'd been taken by the Gestapo, but that didn't ease her worry. Where was he? What did they want with him? She still hadn't been able to figure out the last question, and the earlier still had no answer to, either.

With the mare's gear removed, she quickly brushed her over and made sure she cleaned her hooves out before closing up the stall. A goat ran to the gate of its pen as she headed out of the barn, but she ignored it, too deep in thought to notice it. Please be okay, Papa.

'Here we go-' Jenny said, with a smile, as Maisie walked into the kitchen, placing a plate with some cookies and a glass of fresh milk down on the table for her. 'Nice and warm.'

'Danke.' Maisie replied sincerely, but lacking enthusiasm as she washed her hands, then took a seat.

She turned back to her baking, glancing over her shoulder at the girl. The teen was staring off into the distance, half eaten cookie in hand. Maisie was worried, she could tell, and once she'd removed the bread from the oven, she joined her at the table. She gently placed her hand on the girl's arm, Maisie jumping at the touch, then giggled when she realized it was only Jenny.

'You look deep in thought.'

'Yeah.' Maisie sighed softly, as she placed the cookie back on the plate. 'I'm worried about Papa. Why haven't we heard something from the Underground?'

'You'll hear something soon, I'm sure. Besides, Colonel Hogan is going to be just fine.' Jenny tried to reassure her with a comforting smile. 'He's going to be so proud of you completing that mission all on your own.'

Maisie giggled softly. 'I hope so. He didn't want me to go alone, but we didn't have much choice.' Her expression sobered once more. 'I know it's no secret how much I think of him, I just really worry for him. I've already lost my family, I don't want to lose him, too.'

'I know.' She squeezed her arm gently. 'But you can't think like that. You have to have hope. He's going to be fine, I can feel it.'

'I pray you're right.' The teen sighed again as she turned away from Jenny's gentle gaze. 'I don't know how I'd live without him.'

'What did the Kommandant wish to see you about?' Schultz questioned, as Newkirk closed the door to Klink's office behind himself. 'Was it worth you losing your card game?'

'Not now, Schultz, please.' He replied sadly, the package containing Hogan's jacket and cap tucked beneath his arm. 'I'll see myself to the barracks, thank you.'

Schultz frowned as he watched the Englander leave, then turned to Hilda. 'You know what Kommandant Klink told him?'

She shook her head. 'No, Sergeant-'

Newkirk closed the door to Klink's office firmly behind him, his vision blurring with tears as he started for the barracks. Keep it together, Newkirk, he reminded himself, and quickly wiped his eyes dry on his sleeve. Some bloody leader you'll be if they see you blubbering like a baby.

He looked around the compound, some prisoners from barracks three at work in their garden, and a few others standing around. How was he going to tell Hogan's crew, let alone the rest of the prisoners, about his death? Perhaps I should have accepted Klink's offer, he thought, then quickly dismissed it. No. I'm in charge now. I should be the one to tell them.

He reached the barracks door and stopped, hearing the sound of laughter ringing out inside. They had no idea that what he was about to tell them would change their lives forever. His life. He took a deep breath, trying to gather up the courage to open the door. They need to know, he told himself, with more bravery than he felt. Just tell them what Klink told you.

'Ay, Newkirk-' Carter said, as the corporal walked through the door. 'Bout time you got back, you missed out on a brilliant card game.'

'Brilliant, because he won-' Kinch added, then stopped as he looked up at Newkirk. He stood, going over to him. 'What is it?'

Newkirk cleared his throat, glancing around the table at Hogan's team. 'I-I don't know where to start…'

LeBeau frowned and got up from his seat, standing opposite of Kinch beside him. 'Was it something Klink said?'

He nodded. 'There's no easy way of me telling you...Colonel Hogan is dead.'

The men spoke with one accord. 'What?!'

'Colonel Hogan was shot and killed yesterday trying to escape from the Gestapo.' He replied, struggling to keep his voice even. 'This afternoon-' He placed the package down on the table and pulled back the paper. 'This was delivered.'

'Mon Colonel's jacket.' LeBeau's voice broke with emotion. 'No, no, it can't be true.'

'It's gotta be some kind of bad joke-' Cater said, with disbelief. 'Colonel Hogan can't be dead. He can't be.'

Kinch turned to Newkirk sadly. 'It's not a joke, is it.'

Newkirk shook his head. 'Klink received word from the Gestapo themselves.'

'No, not Colonel Hogan-' Carter's eyes brimmed with tears looking at the blood stained jacket. 'Oh God, no...'

Kinch placed his hand on the young sergeant's shoulder as he broke down, the rest of them on the verge of tears themselves. Silence, except for Carter's sobs filled the barracks.

'I um-' Newkirk said, after some time, swallowing back the lump in his throat as he watched Carter crying. 'I need to tell the rest of the men-'

'I'll do it.' Kinch offered kindly.

He went to protest, but after thinking it over for a moment, nodded. 'I-I'll break the news to Maisie when she returns. She should hear it from me.'

'What do we do now?' LeBeau questioned, as he wiped his eyes before turning back to him. 'What happens now?'

'I don't know. London has to be notified. Other than that, I don't know.'

'What did they do with his body? London will want to know for their records.' Kinch questioned softly, after a moment. 'Did Klink know?'

'All he was told was that he'd been buried...they didn't tell him anything else.'

'Filthy jerks, if I could get my hands on them-' Carter swore between sobs. 'Our Colonel…'

'Easy, Carter.' Newkirk soothed. 'I know.'

'What about Maisie?' LeBeau glanced back at the colonel's bloodstained jacket, sick to his stomach. 'She loves Colonel Hogan, he's her whole world.'

'We're going to need to pull together for her.' He replied, with a crack in his voice. 'Colonel Hogan entrusted me with her care when they were taking him, it's up to us now to look after her. That is what Colonel Hogan would have wanted.' He looked at each of the three men. 'It's not going to be easy, but we have to think of her.'

'She's already lost her real family-' Kinch voiced what each of them were thinking. 'How's she going to take this news?'

'Not bloody well, I expect.'

'I think we should all be there when you tell her.' LeBeau interjected quietly, after a long pause. 'You shouldn't have to do it alone.'

Kinch nodded in agreement. 'I agree.'

Newkirk looked at them gratefully, thankful that he had their support. 'Thank you.' He looked back down at the colonel's jacket. 'Klink has allowed us to keep his things, but I think perhaps Maisie will need them more.'

Carter nodded as he blew his nose on his handkerchief. 'She's not… going… to believe… he's gone.'

'It still hasn't sunk in for me yet, either, Carter.' He patted his shoulder sympathetically, then turned to Kinch and LeBeau. 'Somehow, though, I know we're going to make it through this. We always manage, somehow.'

Maisie stood at the window, staring out into the distance as the sun began to sink below the horizon. There was still no word from the Underground about Colonel Hogan, and her heart was heavy with worry. It was the not knowing that was causing her heartache. Not knowing if he was safe or what they had planned with him. If only I knew where he was being held, she thought, her eyes following the flight of a sparrow as it returned to its nest in the apple tree. If I just knew where he was, then perhaps I would be able to think of some way of getting him away from those monsters.

Just the thought of the men in the black uniform was enough to terrify her. Ever since Colonel Hogan had been beaten by Major Kunze, the uniform carried with it even more unpleasant memories. In her mind, she could still see that whole evening. If that was the way they had treated him back then, what would they be doing with him now? She didn't wish to think of it, but she knew all too well the lengths that the Gestapo would go to in order to extract information from their prisoners. The time that she had spent in their custody had been enough to plant a very real fear of them deep in her heart. A fear that had only intensified when she'd witnessed Hogan's abuse. It was no secret that the Gestapo would tortutre a person close to death. Sometimes death was inevitable. She hadn't been alone in her cell during her capture. There had been another woman with her. A woman that the Gestapo had arrested on the charge of treason. She hadn't walked out of there alive. She knew Colonel Hogan couldn't give them the information they wanted. She knew he wouldn't betray his men or the Underground. If they didn't get what they wanted- She felt a tear slip out of the corner down her eye, trickling down her cheek.

Please be alright, Papa.

She watched as the sparrow disappeared into the tree, but when nature usually put a smile on her face, today it brought no joy. There was no denying her worry for was sick with worry. As she thought of the Gestapo, she felt her heart beat faster, her breath coming in shorter gasps. Calm down, calm down. They're not here, she reminded herself, trying to prevent a panic attack from occurring. The last time she'd seen someone dressed in a Gestapo uniform had actually been Hogan; even though she had realized it had been him wearing the black garb, it had taken her hours to get over it. Hogan had been out of his mind with worry for her, witnessing what the sight of seeing someone dressed in the uniform had done to her. He'd wanted to abort the mission, but she refused and told him to carry it out. After that, he'd been careful not to wear it when she was around. Part of her was thankful she hadn't seen them take him away, but the other half wished she'd had a chance to do something. Anything.

'You've been staring out that window for the last hour-' Jenny interrupted softly, as she joined the teen. 'Come have some dinner, dear. You haven't eaten much today.'

'Danke, but I'm just not hungry.'

'You worried about Colonel Hogan?'

Maisie nodded, watching as the last rays of the sun disappeared, and the landscape was dressed in the darkness of night. 'I just want to know something. Anything, but if the Underground has no idea of where he is, how am I going to find him?'

The woman placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. 'I'm sure he's alright. Come on, you need to come eat something. He wouldn't wish you to starve yourself.'

She smiled a little and nodded. 'Alright, just because I know if I say no you'll still persist, anyway.'

Jenny chuckled as they made their way into the kitchen. 'Willy-' She called out into the hallway. 'Dinner time, dear.'

'Coming, love.'

Maisie sat at the table, and Jenny took a place beside her, the two of them waiting for Willy to join them. Finally, he came in and sat down, then said the blessing. They ate in silence, the teen forcing a few mouthfuls in, then began playing with the rest of her food, pushing it around her plate with her fork.

'Something the matter with your dinner, Maisie?' Willy asked

'Oh. No, sir-' She replied, as she looked up at him. 'I'm just not feeling very hungry. I'm sorry, Mrs. Gustavsson, I just can't eat anymore.'

'It's alright.' She assured her with a smile. 'At least you've eaten something. Would you like to take it with you?'

'Just so it won't be wasted.'

Jenny nodded as she stood and took the plate, placing the meal inside a bag for her. She took another bag and filled it with a few cookies. 'Here you go, Maisie.'

'Danke.' The teen got to her feet and took the bags, placing them in her pocket. 'I best get back to the camp. Perhaps by now he might have returned or received some news.'

Willy wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood to say 'goodbye'. 'Be careful out there.'

Maisie giggled as she gave each of them a hug. 'I seem to always be coming and going from here. Danke again for everything.'

'Look after yourself, too, dear-' She gave her a kiss on the cheek. 'Let us know how things go. You're always welcome to drop by.'

'I'll get word to you somehow. I'll see myself out, I won't impose on you both any further. Good night.'

'Good night.'

'Godspeed.' Jenny added, as the teen headed for the back door.

Maisie waved, then stepped out into the crisp air, closing the door to the warm house behind her. A breeze slipped beneath her jacket, chilling her to the bone as she started out of the yard and back to the camp. It was freezing. She held her arms against her body to conserve heat, her head down as she trudged into the wind.

The cold and the gale made the going slow and tiresome, minutes turning into hours as she walked the four miles back to the camp. Her legs were still aching from the horse ride, and her backside was equally sore. I sure won't offer to go riding that distance again in a hurry, she remarked to herself, as she stepped around a fallen branch. At least the mission is done now.

London would be pleased to receive word it had been successful. Thinking of London, she wondered if the message she'd sent through to one of the Underground members had reached headquarters yet. She wondered, too, why she hadn't received word of Hogan's whereabouts yet. They had Underground members who worked in most of the Gestapo headquarters, yet no one had sent word of where he was being held.

The temperature dropped further, and she began rubbing her numbed hands together to get them warm again. Sure can't wait to get back to camp. At least it's warmer than out here. She blew on her hands softly, her breath caught away as fog. At least it hadn't been this cold when she'd made her way to the farm a couple days previously. I wonder how long this cold snap will last.

Finally, up ahead, she could faintly make out the light of the tower spotlight. She sighed with relief, making a beeline to the tunnel entrance. She was home.

Around the table in barracks two, Hogan's men sat with cards in hand, but not really paying much attention to their game. It was late, the rest of the men already in bed, but for the four remaining members of his team, sleep would not come. The general atmosphere of the camp had plummeted when knowledge of Hogan's death was revealed to the rest of the prisoners and guards. Everyone was in shock. Not Colonel Hogan, they had said. Not him. He's invincible. Unfortunately, he was just as mortal as the rest of them.

'I remember one time-'

Newkirk heard Carter launch into another story about Colonel Hogan, staring at the cards in his hand. It didn't seem real. It didn't feel real. It just didn't feel right to believe that he was gone, and he was never coming back. He felt that any minute now Colonel Hogan would come through the door, and they'd all realize some mistake had been made, and he was still alive. I'm bloody dreaming, he reminded himself. Colonel Hogan is gone. Nothing is going to change that.

Carter's story was abruptly cut short at the sound of the alarm, Kinch standing quickly to silence it. 'Someone's coming through the emergency tunnel.'

Newkirk stood wearily, preparing to go down into the tunnel. 'At this hour?'

'Just wait, Newkirk-' Kinch stopped him from climbing down the ladder. 'Sounds like they're coming up.'

Maisie carefully navigated her way up the ladder, hooking her bad arm around the side to steady her as she held onto the rungs with her good arm. She smiled as she popped up through the entrance, seeing Hogan's men gathered around. 'I'm back. Mission was a success. Blew the refinery clean off the map-' She said, as she climbed out from the bunk. Silence and sober expressions met her gaze. Fear clutched at her heart as she felt a shiver run up her spine. She looked at each of the men, then her eyes met Newkirk's. 'What is it?'

'Maisie-' He started, motioning for them all to go into the colonel's office. They made their way into the separate room, and he closed the door behind them, Kinch turning a lamp on so they had some light. 'I'm afraid I've got some bad news.'

Oh no. She met Newkirk's eyes, replying with more courage than she felt. 'It's about Colonel Hogan, isn't it.'

'I'm afraid it is, little mate.'

'What is it? What happened?' Maisie questioned, her bottom lip quivering. 'Where is he-' She turned from him to the other men, their expressions only serving to add to her worry. 'Newkirk, where is he?'

'I'm sorry, Little Bear.' He replied softly. 'There's no easy way of saying it...Colonel Hogan died last night, sweetheart.'

Dead? 'Oh God, no…' Her hand came to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears. 'When…. How?'

'He was shot while trying to escape from the Gestapo.'

'Escape from the Gestapo?' Maisie repeated, with disbelief. 'Papa tried to escape from the Gestapo? He'd never do a thing like that….'

Kinch approached the girl, placing his hand on her shoulder. 'Klink received the phone call today from Sergeant Bussler. Major Langer's personal aid.'

'So it's true, then?'

Newkirk nodded sadly. 'I'm afraid so, little mate.'

Maisie turned, walking away from them so they couldn't see the tears in her eyes. Papa dead? Her mind couldn't believe it. Her heart didn't want to believe it. 'No… no…' Her voice cracked with emotion. 'No… there has to be some mistake… maybe they identified the wrong person. Maybe Papa's still alive…'

Carter turned away, his own eyes filling with tears hearing the pain in her voice.

LeBeau watched as her shoulders began to shake, the teen crying silently with her back towards them. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his vision beginning to blur.

Kinch was the one who broke the silence again, the most composed of the group, But inwardly, he was just as heartbroken as the rest of them. 'There was no mistake, I'm afraid, Maisie.' He turned his gaze to the English corporal. 'Newkirk…'

She turned around, wiping her eyes as she watched Newkirk unwrap something on the colonel's desk. She stepped closer, unable to make out what it was in the dim light. Her hands came to her mouth, stifling a loud cry as she recognized it. Papa's jacket!

'No, no, no!'

Newkirk could only watch helplessly as the girl picked up the jacket, tears streaming down her face. He glanced at the rest of the men, their own eyes watery, and LeBeau pulled out his handkerchief to blow his nose.

'No, no. Not Papa.' Maisie cried, as she clutched the jacket tight against her chest, unable to keep her emotions in check any longer. 'No, no no!' She buried her face in the collar of Hogan's jacket as her legs gave out on her, sinking to the floor as she wailed loudly.

'What do I do now?' Newkirk turned to Kinch, his own voice breaking.

Kinch looked down at the child. 'Go comfort her.'

'How do I do that? I ain't Colonel Hogan-'

'Start with hugs.'

'What?'

'That's what Colonel Hogan always did when she was upset.' He replied softly. 'She trusts you, you're going to have to help her-' He glanced towards the window. 'Before someone hears her crying and comes to investigate.'

But I don't know the first thing about comforting a crying child. After a moment, he walked over to her and sat down on the floor beside her. 'Sssh, sweetheart. It's alright-' He attempted to calm her as gently as he could. 'Come on, honey, it's alright.'

Still with Hogan's jacket clutched tightly in her grasp, she let Newkirk wrap his arms around her, resting her head against his shoulder. 'No…. It won't…. be…' She choked out between sobs. 'It… never will…. be…'

Seeing her crying was more than Carter could stand, and he hurried over, joining the Englander on the floor with her. 'We're here, Maisie. We're here with you…'

Kinch and LeBeau also found a place on the floor, the four men gathered around the grieving child. 'We're here for you, ma douce-' LeBeau added softly, ignoring the tears falling down his own cheeks. 'We're here.'

'It's going to be alright, Maisie.' Kinch reaffirmed, with more decisiveness than he felt. 'It's going to be alright.'

No. No, it was never going to be alright. Maisie shook her head, her breath coming in hiccups as she tried to calm down, feeling the stroke of Newkirk's hand on her hair. She'd lost her family, now Colonel Hogan was gone, too. 'It won't bring Papa back-' She replied, when she could speak, her voice hoarse and thick. 'It's never going to be alright...I want Papa back.'

We'll meet again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day

Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds
Far away

So will you, please, say hello
To the folks that I know?
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day

We'll meet again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day

Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds
Far away

So will you, please, say hello
To the folks that I know?
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day