Chapter 21

'Hogan, what are you doing here?' Klink questioned, with annoyance, glancing up as the American colonel hobbled into his office. 'I don't have time to listen to any complaints-'

'I'm not here to make any complaints, Kommandant.'

He raised an eyebrow, his attention focused on Hogan instead of his paperwork. 'Then what are you here for?'

'Ol Schultz said Maisie wasn't feeling too good this morning. Thought I might go in and cheer her up. That is, if it's okay with you.'

Inwardly, Klink was relieved that Hogan offered to go see her. The poor child had woken up with a dreadful case of allergies, and he had intended to spend the day caring for her. That is until Burkhalter had rung and wanted to know where his overdue reports were. 'Yes, yes, that is okay with me. By all means, go ahead.'

'You don't mind if we borrow your chess set?'

'Of course not. You're welcome to use it. Now may I get back to my paperwork?'

Hogan smiled, offering a sloppy salute. 'Enjoy your paperwork. I'll be thinking of you while your niece and I enjoy ourselves.'

Thank you, Hogan. Klink rolled his eyes after the colonel left, turning his attention back to his paperwork when the door closed. Now where did I put those receipts-

The door to Maisie's room was open when Hogan made his way into Klinks quarters, a sad smile coming across his lips as he saw her sleeping. The poor girl looked dreadful. It did look like she'd had a bad allergic reaction to something. Quietly, he took a seat in the chair beside her, propping his crutches against the wall. Poor darlin, he thought, watching her sleep. Her eyes were red and swollen, Maisie coughing occasionally, but continued to sleep.

I shouldn't have gotten so mad with you. I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Time slipped by, Maisie sleeping on, but definitely not soundly. She kept coughing, a deep hacking cough that didn't sound healthy at all. After some time, she began to stir, and he smiled as she looked at him.

'Wondered how long you'd be sleeping for.'

'Colonel Hogan-' she said softly, blinking as she tried to focus on him. 'What are you doing here?'

'Came to see you, why else?'

'I didn't think you cared about me…'

He placed his hand on her shoulder. 'I do care about you, sweetheart. I am so sorry for how I was with you yesterday. I shouldn't have said the things I did.'

'It's alright. You don't need to apologize, Papa. I know you've been going through a lot.'

'That's no excuse, and I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know that.'

She smiled. 'I do know that. I do.' Her smile quickly faded with the onset of another coughing fit, and once she'd finished, a glass of water was placed in her hands. She took a drink, handing it back to him when she'd finished. 'Danke.'

'What did Wilson say?'

'I'm on bed rest for a week, at least. He said I inhaled a lot of smoke, and that's also why everything's so blurry. He said once the swelling around my eyes goes down my vision should clear. But a week-' She sighed heavily. 'I'm not looking forward to it.'

'And what did you tell Klink?'

'Wilson told him it's a bad allergic reaction. The culprit, the last shipment of fertilizer that was sent for the gardens.'

'And that's for the burns on your hands as well?'

She nodded. 'He told him it was a bad rash. I feel bad lying to him, though. He was fussing over me all morning until General Burkhalter called.'

'Who knew Klink could be so caring.'

'I think he's quite worried, but there's no need to be. Wilson said I'll be fine in a few days. He gave me some stuff to help me breathe easier and to stop any infection.'

Hogan was relieved to hear that. He had been highly concerned for the littlest member of his team. 'And how are you feeling?'

'I'm alright, Papa. I just feel horrible. My chest hurts really bad.' She turned to him with a sad smile. 'A hug might make me feel better.'

He was more than happy to oblige, moving over to the bed beside her and took her into his arms. 'Better?'

'Mmmhmm.' Maisie murmured happily. 'And you, Papa? How are you feeling?'

'I'll be alright, honey. In time.'

'It's been over a year for me, and I still have nightmares sometimes about Major Schneider,' she said softly, after a long pause. 'I know you're trying to protect us by not saying anything, but I've been there, Papa. I know. I also know what the doctor told us about your injuries. You don't have to hide your feelings from us, you're still the same person to us. Our Colonel, our friend. My Papa.'

Hogan felt himself tearing up at what she said and swallowed the lump in his throat as he kissed her head gently. 'That's kind of you to say.'

'It's the truth.'

'Maisie-' He started after they'd sat in silence for a while. 'You've never told me about what you went through.'

'Because it's something I'd sooner forget.'

'What happened? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I just wondered how you got there in the first place.'

Maisie sighed softly, closing her eyes as she rested against him. 'I was out on an Underground assignment. I was leading three other people to sabotage a bridge for my Uncle. It wasn't long after he'd been shot, and he was still recovering, so I volunteered to go instead. I just turned thirteen at the time, but Uncle didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't go, so he made the plans, and I was to help carry them out, as I had all the information.'

Thirteen? She'd been interrogated by the Gestapo when she was thirteen?

'We blew the bridge without a problem. It was afterwards that things went bad. A patrol was going by at the time, and they would have caught all of us, but I ran away, leading them away from the other Underground members. I got arrested, but luckily, the others managed to get away.'

Maisie began to cough again, and Hogan handed her back the glass of water, taking a long drink before she continued.

'They took me to Hammelburg Gestapo Headquarters for questioning. Uncle drilled into me that in the event of being captured that I wasn't to talk. I had to protect the other members of the Underground. I don't remember exactly how many days I was there. I think it was about two weeks. Major Schneider used all the usual tactics the first couple of days, but when he realized that he wasn't going to get any information out of me that way, he went to 'harsher' methods. I was kept in a cell under the building, and the only time anyone came in was when they came to see if I'd talk. I didn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't tell them that I was part of the Underground. I didn't want them to arrest my Uncle. Finally, I was released by one of the majors there that was associated with us, and I was able to return to my Uncle. He'd been out of his mind with worry, and they hadn't been able to find me, but I didn't tell him what happened. I didn't tell anyone.'

'And you were only thirteen.'

She nodded sadly. 'War turns children into adults overnight. When I lived with my Uncle, there were two boys, six and eight years old, who ran messages for the Underground. They were sent to London with their mother when their father was caught by the Gestapo and executed.' She looked up at Hogan. 'I don't have to spell out the treatment I got while I was there, do I?'

Hogan shook his head. 'I can make a good guess, baby girl.'

'Does it make sense why I reacted the way I did when I saw you wearing that Gestapo uniform for the first time?'

'I understand now, sweetheart. How did you manage not to have a panic attack with the General? Not only that, how did you slip into Gestapo Headquarters without breaking down?'

'You, Papa. All I was focused on was you. Nothing else mattered. I was terrified, but I had no choice. I had to help the General get you out of there. My feelings- my feelings didn't matter. I did what I had to do.'

'I still can't believe that the three of you managed to pull off the stunt you guys did.'

'Neither can I. I can tell you one thing I know for certain; I hated every minute of wearing that horrible uniform. The Gestapo outfit really doesn't suit me.'

That made Hogan chuckle a little. 'I can't argue with you there.' He paused, thinking for a moment, then asked his next question carefully. 'How did you cope after you'd been released?'

'Journaling. I'd write out my thoughts, then burn it so no one saw them. I couldn't tell anyone. I didn't want them to worry. I just had to deal with it like everything else I had to. I didn't have anyone I could turn to. I couldn't tell my Uncle, or he'd never let me out on another mission again. I liked Uncle Tobias, but we weren't extremely close. The only people I've ever been close to were Mama, and sister, my friend Sarah, and you. I've always been a closed person. Even when I was little I usually kept to myself.' She glanced back at him, blinking as she tried to get her eyes to focus on him. 'You should try journaling. Perhaps it might help.'

'I'll think about it.'

'What I found was it wasn't really the torture itself that kept me up at night. It was the feelings that went with it. The feeling of being trapped, being alone. Being constantly on guard, not daring to take a moment's rest for fear of letting something slip out. The waiting. Not knowing what they were going to attempt next. Not knowing if I'd live to see the next day. Feeling worthless. Useless. Broken. That's exactly what they wanted to achieve; break a person so much that finally they crack and talk. If I had talked and lived, my life wouldn't have been worth living. They'd have executed my Uncle without a second thought, and everyone else in the Underground. The safety of everyone else came down to me. To me not talking despite what they tried. Trying to keep them safe. Knowing that if you speak, you're signing death sentences.'

'Maisie-' He started after a long pause. 'You couldn't have put how I'm feeling into words any better than you just did.'

She gave him a sad smile, nuzzling closer to him. 'I know, Papa. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I hate feeling helpless.'

'You and I both, sweetheart.' He kissed her head, a faint smell of smoke lingering on her hair. 'But you didn't let those feelings change you-'

'They have, Papa, they have. How do you think I've become so ruthless? How do you think I'm capable of killing someone without a second thought? They took away a part of me I'll never get back and replaced it with a thirst for revenge. Do you think I enjoy being the person you see? I should be learning how to knit and sew; not out planting bombs, but I have no choice. This war has taken everything from me. All I can do is help it be over quicker and for the right side. Can you imagine how things would be if Germany won the war? That is why I fight. Germany must lose.' She looked back up at him. 'Please Papa, please don't let it change you. I love you just the way you are. I don't want you to change-'

'I'm not going to, honey.' Hogan reassured her, laying his cheek against her head. 'And that's a promise.'

'Good. You really scared me yesterday.' She closed her eyes again, her head on his shoulder.

'I know, sweetheart. It won't happen again.'

'But am I really a nuisance?'

'No, no, honey. You're not.'

'If I am, just tell me. I don't want to be a burden on you-'

'You aren't.' He kissed her head again, looking down at her. 'You look exhausted, my girl.'

'I am.' She replied wearily. 'C-can you stay with me? Unless you have somewhere else to be.'

'Apart from staring at the four walls of my room or the barracks, I don't. You get some sleep. You deserve it.'

'Mmm, and you'll still be here when I wake up?'

'Promise.'

After some time, Maisie drifted off to sleep, leaving Hogan alone with his thoughts in the silence. His mind wandered over the events that had taken place since he'd been away from camp. His own problems, but also those of his men that had been left behind. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I guess, he decided, after a time. His team had really stepped up during his absence. Even Maisie. He looked down at the sleeping child, a little smile coming to his face. Perhaps what had been broken could be repaired. She was proof of that. She'd learned to love again even after all she'd lost. Perhaps, he too could move on. After all, he was still their colonel. Their leader. He had a job to do, and do it he would.

Three weeks later

'Reporting for duties, sir.' Hogan sloppily saluted Klink as he stood in his office. 'Wilson has just cleared me for light duties.'

'Are you sure?' Klink questioned, with concern. 'Do you think you are ready? I mean, perhaps you'd like another week or two off-'

'Kommandant, I was ready to take over two weeks ago, but Wilson wouldn't let me. I'm going stir crazy with nothing to do.'

'Alright, alright. Fine. The first thing you can do-' Opening a drawer in his desk, he pulled out a thick pile of papers. 'Is get started on these.'

Hogan looked at the stack of paperwork and sighed. That's what you get for being eager to get back to work. 'Perhaps I should take an extra week off-'

'Hogan!'

He grinned. Some things never changed. 'I'll see to it, Kommandant,' he said, taking the stack of papers. 'Anything else?'

'That will be all for now, Hogan. Dismissed.' The American started for the door. 'Hogan-'

He stopped, turning back to him. 'Yes?'

'It's good to have you back.'

'It's good to be back, Kommandant.' Hogan grinned, offering a sloppy salute.

'Now out. I've got reports to finish off.'

He shook his head with amusement as he stepped out of the office, closing the door behind him. After a little chat with Hilda (and a kiss, or two) he walked back out into the compound.

A game of soccer was in progress as he walked back to his barracks, and he watched them for a little while. One of the corporals invited him to join in with them, but he politely declined, content to watch from his vantage point outside the barracks. While Wilson had declared him fit for light duties, that didn't include running around playing soccer just yet. His casts had only come off a week ago, and he was still under orders to take things easy. Well, as easy as he could, that was. Not only did he have a mountain of work to sort through with the camp, he had London breathing down his neck wanting to know when Stalag 13 would be back in business.

The past three weeks hadn't been easy, but slowly, he was starting to feel like he was getting back to his normal self. Much to his surprise, Maisie's suggestion of journaling actually seemed to be helping. He couldn't credit it all to that, though. Without the unwavering support of his team, he knew he wouldn't have been able to pull through like he had. A few days after Maisie's misadventure, he'd sat down with his men, and they'd had a lengthy talk. He felt better after getting some things off his chest and listening to how the rest of them had been during his absence. If anything, probably the only thing he could come up with as being something good coming from the experience was that it had brought them all closer together. It hadn't been easy recounting what had happened, and he left out a lot, but told enough for them to understand. All of them had really pulled together for him. Even Carter asked him how he was doing each day. He really had been blessed with a great team of men and little Maisie.

'Hey, get back here you-'

'Woah!' Hogan exclaimed in surprise, almost getting knocked off his feet by Maisie as he walked into the barracks.

'Sorry, Papa-' She replied, darting away from Newkirk.

Newkirk made a lunge for her, but the teen was just too quick, vaulting over the table in one smooth motion. 'When I get my hands on you…'

'You've gotta catch me first.' Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and she grinned at him. 'And you're not going to.'

Hogan placed the stack of papers down on one of the top bunks, a smile on his face as he shook his head. 'One of these days, Maisie, you're going to get yourself into trouble you can't get out of. What did you do this time?'

'Oh, nothing much really…' Newkrirk went for her again ,and she darted away from him, taking refuge behind Hogan.

'Nothing much?' Newkirk remarked. 'Nothing much? I'll have you know-'

'Alright, alright-' Hogan held up his hands, feeling a headache already coming on. 'Newkirk, I'm sure whatever Maisie did isn't as bad as you think it is.'

'She turned my bloody socks pink!'

'How was I supposed to know that the bottle marked 'soap' was actually dye?' Maisie asked innocently

'Ah Colonel-' LeBeau interjected, holding up a pink undershirt. 'I don't think it was just Newkirk's socks that got turned pink-'

'Maisie-' Hogan began.

'I think it's time for me to go. Bye, guys.'

Hogan wrapped an arm around her, catching her before she bolted. 'Not so fast, young lady-'

'What's going on in here?' Carter questioned, waltzing in with his hands in his pockets.

'Maisie turned everything from the last bloody wash pink.'

The sergeant began to laugh.

Maisie's eyes narrowed ,and she wrestled herself out of Hogan's grasp. 'It was you who put that dye in the soap bottle…'

Carter bolted out of the door, Newkirk hot on his heels.

Hogan shook his head, laughing as they watched Newkirk catch Carter, pick the sergeant up, then dump him in one of the water barrels outside the barracks.

Maisie giggled. 'Oh boy, I am glad Newkirk didn't catch me.'

He looked down at her, noting the glint in her eye. 'You little… You and Carter both were in on that together.'

'The secret is to pin the blame on someone else. It's so much more enjoyable that way.'

'You are a little rascal.' She giggled again, as he tousled her hair. 'What am I going to do with you?'

'Be out of camp come April Fools Day?'

'That sounds like a good idea-'

Maisie saw Newkirk striding back to the barracks, Carter shouting that it was both of their faults and knew it was time to vacate the premises. 'Bye, Papa. I'll see you later…'

Hogan shook his head again as the teen took off across the camp, making a beeline for Klink's quarters with Newkirk close behind.

'Some things just don't change, mon Colonel.' LeBeau remarked, bringing over a cup of coffee for him.

'No, they don't,' he agreed, a smirk coming to his lips as Newkirk carried a protesting Maisie towards the water barrel. It is good to be back.

Hi all,

Hope you enjoyed this story. While I don't have any plans to continue with HH fanfiction at the moment I will upload everything I've written so far for you all to read.

Till next time then,

Missie out