"Totally Recalled…"

Summary: Another acting exercise for new and somewhat baby-blued mom, Mrs. Penelope Hofstadter and her entourage. For the prequel of sorts, read "Sheldon Swifties LXXV: 'The Creation Fluctuation'…"

In the late 22nd century a young and supposedly happy housewife finds herself drawn to another existence on the Mars colony, currently under the crushing heel of a brutal dictator… ("And his vicious secret police chief girlfriend!" Bernadette hisses.

"supposedly happy"…Leonard sighs. Maybe this wasn't such a good…

"Guys." Howard sighs to group. "I don't know if I can do the Dictator. Mom came to me in a dream last night and started complaining, "Now, ya wanna be Hitler?"

"Fine. I'll be the Dictator." Bernadette notes. "You be the sidekick."

"Actually, that does somehow seem to fit…" Howard nods.

"Hey, we have a former secret police chief right here, you know?" Raj fumes.)

Disclaimer: They're all Chuck's. Except Penny Hauser.

Part XXIV…

"You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs
You hardly talk to me anyyymore…" Amy, in space suit in her vessel, singing along with tiny holographic Neil Diamond.

"When you come through that door at the end of the day

I remember when you couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me….Late at night…"

Buzzing sensation indicating activation of neural link…

"Oh, honey." She spoke, relieved tone, the words dispatched by neutral link. "What's up? I've been so worried, waiting for you to call since impact…Are you ok? Did we nail Hauser or what?

"Are you listening to Neil Diamond again? I'm sensing it via the implant link."

"I was bored…And kinda nervous." She sighed.

"And I do so send you flowers…Every mission we have ever completed, flowers the next day." Sensation of hurt conveyed.

"Oh, I know…" Amy, apologetically. "I was just a little down. But you're ok, great. And if Hauser's dead or taken, my day's made."

"Not sure yet…We're having to proceed cautiously due to UN Security fields and your missile collapsing parts of the tunnel. By the way, my assistant survived as well…And she was suggesting…You know Agnes, right?"

"I know and have detailed files on every agent working with us, Adam. Particularly the ladies." Firm tone.

So we all know, as she makes it very clear at indoctrination…Agnes thought, nervously.

"Great, well…Agnes thought you ought to monitor the Platform area of the tunnel from our location to end, in case Penny is still alive and somehow makes a break for the outside."

"Without a space suit?" Amy frowned.

"She might have thought ahead and have one like our Plasticene molding suits…Personally, I think it's doubtful she survived but Lord knows we do not need any more surprises on this one." Sigh.

"Well, I already was, as carefully as I could to avoid attracting Platform Security's attention. But I'll continue as best I can." Slightly miffed tone.

So now he's taking advice from one of my trainees…?

Not to mention advice so basic he should have assumed…

"I figured you had. Just wanted to throw the kid a bone."

"Oh…Ok then."

All right, that's more like it…

"How much longer before you can rendezvous with me?" she intoned.

"Give us another thirty or so, though may an hour. We have UN Security behind us and may have to pass ourselves off…Or kill a few." He noted.

"Only with extreme prejudice and assurance it will cleanse the situation." Reassuring tone.

"Well, be careful…And Bernadette says hi and hopes we votes by absentee ballot. You did, didn't you?"

"Amy, it's my civic duty. As a citizen of free Mars and a supporter of the Rebellion from Terran tyranny. I dropped mine in the digital yesterday."

"You voted for Corversant…?"

"Amy? That's inappropriate to ask me that…And potentially fatal if I didn't."

"Tell you, if you tell me." Eager tone. "Come on, just between us."

"Oh, all right…Actually I voted for Lela Sanchez. Tell no one." Insistent.

"Adam? She's Corversant's puppet…And a straw candidate to make the election seem legit. Even if everyone knows it's rigged."

"So…? She was a fine Speaker of the Tribunate before Bernadette turned her into a drooling handmaiden. And I've only seen her drool that one time after her conversion."

"God, if Bernadette finds out…"

"Hey. It's supposedly a secret ballot and a democratic election ." He noted. "And she wanted a few opposing votes…I'm sure mine will be within that 2%."

"I guess…Just make sure you don't tell anyone, including what's-her-name."

"Agnes. You know, you always claim to forget their names when you're jealous. And after all…You know…?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just let me know when and where I pick you up."

"Will do. Love you. And try a lighter song. And not 'Song Sung Blue'. That always makes you sad."

"Love you too. I will. Fowler-Quade, out." Giggle.

"Oh, you…Quade, out." He intoned.

"Everything ok with Amy?" Agnes eyed him as he broke connection.

"Oh, yes. She'll be waiting till we can meet her, preferably with Hauser or her remains."

"Great, can't wait to head for home."

Hmmn-hmmn. Yeah…Too bad Amy's ship only holds two, girlie. Besides, it's always best to leave a body behind to convince your trackers you never made your getaway, he thought.

("So, I get left for dead, soon?" Ramona asked.

Not soon enough, Penny eyeing Amy's arch look with cautioning glance…Never underestimate the other girl, till she's out of the picture, bestie. I been the other girl often enough.

"Actually, I think I kill you and dump your body for UN Security to find so Leonard can demonstrate how coldly ruthless I am. Say, what is a 'Neil Diamond' anyway?" Sheldon asked.)

…

"So, what's the plan?" Penny asked the floating small face of Hauser projecting from her holophone/quantum computer.

"Tell ya when I think of one…Just kidding. I always have one. Just keep going."

"We reach the end and climb out, on the Platform hull?" Penny sighed. "Are we gonna try to find a ship in one of the docking bays?"

"Brilliant. Except the bays are sealed and shielded and any ship we could grab would be full of UN Security, powered down, and never get two feet." Sneer.

"Ok, well then…What? Do I call UN Security once we get outside? What do we do…?"

"Don't get your panties in a bind. Here, stop." Hauser's voice over earbuds. "That panel…It's a hatch to the outside."

"But…"

"Just hit the red button and leave it to me!"

"But, that doesn't look like an airlock and if it's opened…? I mean I know we have the magnetic boots but…"

"Fine, I'll do it…!" The hatch button suddenly shorted out and the hatch opened with a sudden whoosh of the air in the egress tunnel.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey, my boots are off…." Penny cried as she was blown into space, the computer firmly magnetized to her suit.

"Yeah, we need to make tracks." Hauser's voice, dismissive. "I got this…"

"Got this?!" Penny, wriggling about to see the Platform falling behind. "I'm in space, I'm lost in space!" she cried. "Help!" she called on radio. "Hey, my radio's out. Did you do that?" she cried.

"We don't need any of Corversant's agents tracking us." Hauser's voice replied. "I'll reactivate it when we need it."

"Tracking us? Where? We're drifting in space, you moron! I'm lost in space!"

"Actually, we've used the air flow and the centrifugal force of the platform's gravity spin to send us off and keep us from falling into the Moon. You do know that on the platform, up is toward the center and down is away. We were bound to go flying off once we got out."

"Not if you'd kept my magnetic boots on!"

"We need to get away…And Adam will hopefully think we were killed in the missile blast for a while if he can't detect us in that egress tunnel."

"But we're drifting in space!"

"Actually if we stay on our present course, in three years, we'll burn up in the solar corona. But these suits, though great at recycling and all wouldn't last us that long."

"Great."

"So, we use our suit's thrusters to adjust our course."

"We do?"

"Well, duh…I wasn't gonna let us just float around. We've got a job to do." Hauser noted.

("Howard, that was great!" Penny noted, emerging from the plane, removing helmet of borrowed space suit. "And she only vomited once in zero-g." Leonard, volunteer videographer for the weightless in space scenes, proudly as he came out behind her.

"How did you manage not to at all, honey?" she turned to him.

"All those year of lactose-intolerance finally paid off." He noted.

"Thanks for helping us out here, Mike…" Howard, with Bernadette beside him in the Zero-G waiting room to his colleague and former co-astronaut.

"No problem, Howard. Glad to help out. This little movie of yours seems fun." Nod.

We good? He eyed Bernadette's cool stare.

I never hear the words 'Fruit Loops' to describe my husband again and sure, we're good, she nodded.

"You know, I probably wasn't really gonna drop a vial of flesh-eating superbacteria in your car." She whispered.

"Oh, sure. I really was glad to do it, especially when the boys offered me a chance to do a scene, I love scifi. Though it was more all those threatening and very descriptive calls all that year long after our flight, to Dimitri, that made me think I'd better take your call." He noted.

"Well, Dimitri was extra mean to Howie. But actually that was Howard's mom." Bernadette shrugged. "Don't know how he thought it was me when you two visited last May.")

…