An eternity had passed since Leia's funeral, made up of rudderless days and lonely nights. The hope Rey felt as she walked away from that empty coffin slowly dissipated as night after night passed with no sign of Ben. Had she misunderstood his reactions? Or, had he changed his mind? Was the call of the Dark Side too strong?

Or was she just not enough?

It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed Rey's mind. She had been swimming in doubts and insecurities her whole life, from the moment her parents abandoned her on Jakku. Being tossed aside at a young age did that to a person.

The only time she'd ever felt like she was enough was when she was staring into Ben's eyes.

"Grah!" Rey's frustration expressed itself in a wild swing of the lightsaber she held. A young tree slid where it had been severed by the blade and fell to the ground.

"Everything okay?" Poe asked, glancing up from the holoscreen he had been studying. There was no logical reason for him to be there in the forest, rather than a cockpit where he belonged, except that Finn was in the forest. These days, where Finn went, Poe went.

It might have been cute, if the sarcastic tone Poe reserved just for Rey didn't make her want to drop a tree on his head.

The starfighter pilot had something of a jealous streak, it appeared.

Finn inserted himself between his teacher and his... well, whatever Poe was. For about the twentieth time. That day.

"Okay," he said, sheathing his own lightsaber. "Why don't we call it a day? This guy has maneuvers to run," Finn added, laying a hand on Poe's arm, "and you're clearly too distracted to train right now."

Rey started to argue that she wasn't distracted but Finn just raised an eyebrow. He didn't have to say that he could feel her turmoil through the Force. She was glad he didn't; she didn't need Poe to badger her about it. She definitely didn't want to have to explain the reason behind it.

So far, Rey had managed to keep her... interactions with Ben private. From almost everyone, at least. Finn, she expected, had an idea but, thankfully, kept his mouth shut about it. Maz, on the other hand, kept her mouth shut about exactly nothing.

"I wasn't certain you'd make it back in time," Maz said as Rey bent to embrace the diminutive woman. Her ancient face crinkled as she smiled. It was a kind expression. "Leia would have been pleased."

Rey could only nod automatically. She was still reeling, both from the loss of her mentor and the unexpected connection she had forged with Ben.

"Leia fought for the galaxy," Maz continued, either oblivious to Rey's distraction or choosing to ignore it, "but bringing Ben back to the Light was her greatest wish."

Rey continued to nod - until Maz's words sank in.

"What?" She stared, astounded, at the orange skinned alien. Heat and cold rushed over her, all at once, when she realized that Maz had seen her with Ben. Her heart pounded in her throat. "Did you...? Could everyone...?"

Maz chuckled and shook her head. "Calm down," she told Rey. "No one else saw," she thought for a moment before amending that. "Well, perhaps Finn. That young man's eyes see more than you'd think."

Rey knew that, of course. Leia had just begun the former stormtrooper's Jedi training before Rey and Chewie left on their mission. Before Leia... Tears pricked her eyes.

"There now," Maz said kindly, patting Rey's hand. "Don't mourn for the princess. She's earned herself a good, long sleep."

There was nothing Rey could say to that.

The small woman led Rey to sit down on a crate then hopped on top of another and climbed up to bring herself eye level. "But I suspect," she said, levelling one of those unnerving stares in Rey's direction, "that those tears aren't for Leia alone."

Had Maz always been so wise? Rey wondered or was it just knowledge she'd picked up during her thousand, plus years of life?

"I…" She didn't know where to start. The things Maz was asking, Rey wasn't certain she was ready to admit to herself, much less anyone else.

Maz adjusted her odd glasses and Rey squirmed. No matter how many times the old woman did that, it always made her feel like Maz was looking right through her. Then again… no one knew exactly how those glasses worked. Maybe she was.

"It's a difficult thing," Maz said wisely, "love."

Rey's face flamed. She hadn't used that word… hadn't even trusted herself with it.

"I don't… I mean…" There was no point lying to Maz. No doubt she knew everything Rey did. Probably more. She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed a hand across her face. "I shouldn't," Rey all but wailed.

Maz laid a kind, leathery hand on Rey's hot cheek. "There's no shame in loving a good man."

Rey couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped her. "Good man?" There weren't many in the galaxy that would call Supreme Leader Kylo Ren that.

The look Maz gave her was patient but stern. "You, girl," she said, "know that there's more to a person than meets the eye."

Chastised, Rey stared at her hands. Her knuckles had barely had time to scab over. She clasped her hands together, hiding the wounds – wishing she could hide her own shameful behavior as easily.

"We're not talking about someone who made a few bad decisions," Rey argued lamely. "Kylo Ren has been responsible for the deaths of-"

"Is it Kylo Ren that you're in love with?" Maz interrupted.

Rey's head snapped up. "What?"

"I agree that Kylo Ren would be a very difficult man to love," Maz said. She eased her tiny frame down into a sitting position, pulling her knees up to her chest. How she managed to do it without falling off the box she perched on was a miracle. "But we were talking about Ben Solo."

She wanted to argue that they were the same person but of course they weren't. Kylo Ren was nothing more than a persona Ben wore to hide his goodness, his decency – something he thought he was supposed to be ashamed of. How badly Snoke had twisted the young man's mind…

"There is good in Ben Solo," Maz continued, "and, if anyone can bring it out, it's you. If you let yourself." With that, the diminutive woman patted Rey's knee, then hopped easily to the ground.

Rey was left staring after Maz in stunned silence. She really did see more than anyone else… often, more than anyone wanted her to.

So Rey had, after hours of agonizing self-reflection and more than a few arguments with herself, taken Maz's advice. She admitted her feelings for Ben. She'd stopped fighting the need she felt for him, the… yes, love she felt for him, and reached out…

Only to find their Force Bond silent.

She understood with brutal clarity how Ben must have felt all those times he'd reached for her only to find the walls she'd clumsily erected against him. She understood the rejection he must have faced every time he called and received no answer. And, although she knew she deserved it, Rey felt each slight like a physical blow.

"What do you say?" Finn asked, startling Rey. She'd forgotten they were there. "Ready to give up and head back?"

His words anchored themselves to Rey's heart, dragging her down into a helpless spiral of regret and self-loathing. How much longer could she keep trying, only to be met with silence? Her shoulders slumped as she nodded. "Yeah," she told Finn, "I guess I'm done."