I OWN NOTHING

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-Scarborough train station-

Finally, at long last, the train arrived at Lyngarth right as the moon and stars started to cover the sky. At last, Naruto reached the large town protected by a circular wall around its perimeter and connected to the rest of the world through bridges. Many buildings focused on markets and services, making it a very economic-centric place, and a proper place where the academy and, hopefully, some answers would be. He also hoped to find a proper blacksmith to fix his shuriken. Unfortunately, it wasn't a thought he could keep on his mind for long. During the trip, he had noticed something about girls he hadn't expected. It was hard to see it due to his time with Thyme and then meeting Rosemary and Sage. With a life that couldn't be considered normal due to his true self being a demon fox, he expected many issues with his heritage.

"Can I pet you?!"

Hearing the squeal of a little girl who saw him fight the Rail Tracer caused him to wince, "I already told your sister no! And stop trying to reach behind me! My tails are gone in this form!"

"Please, turn back into the foxy!" another child pleaded with her hands clasped. Both were obviously farm kids with their simple and cheap clothes, and thus used to animals, "You looked so fluffy!"

"Pft, that's another nickname," it didn't help the whiskered boy's stress when Rosemary snickered. "We've already got Whiskers, Shorty, and now Fluffy!"

"I'm not afraid to punch a girl's teeth in," Naruto warned her, rolling up a sleeve with a blank look on his face dangerously shadowed by his bangs and goggles. But right then, he felt tiny hands roam over his head to pet soft hair, so he bared his teeth at the little girls, "Get back to your momma already!"

Unluckily for him, they merely giggled, "Will do, Mister Foxy!" one said as she patted him on the head like he was a puppy, her sister scratching a spot behind one ear, "Take care and let us pet you later!"

Immediately, Naruto, with the face of someone who had a bucket with iced water dropped on him, pointed behind him at Rosemary without turning to face her, "Don't even think about laughing, Pinky."

"Oh… oh man… I…" Rosemary doubled over, holding her gut with a wince. "I… I can't… It hurts… so much… to not laugh… Sage… Help, I think I may die from this…"

Sage cut in, but her attention was directed mostly to Rosemary, "Can you two please try to get along?" Then she turned to Thyme, "I know it's not my business, but you two are obviously here on a mission. Maybe we could try to be less hostile and help. What say you?"

"You're right, it's not your business," the elf bluntly told her, but shut her eyes with a deep intake of air. "I'm thankful for your concern, but we must deal with this ourselves."

"Like that'll happen," Rosemary got serious. Hooking a thumb to herself, she put on a serious face, "Sage and I want to be guardians, to help others when they need us most. There's nothing cooler in the world, so you better believe we'll get in your business and lend a hand."

"Don't want it, don't care, don't follow us," Naruto replied quickly with a dull tone and duller expression.

"Hey! I will still follow you along to help, because that's what a real great guardian does!" Rosemary exclaimed.

"Knock it off," Thyme told the two with her usual dry tone. "Listen, this is my business, and the only one I'm willing to ask for help is Whiskers since he knows how to deal with it."

"Explain in simple words," Naruto asked her, then whispered with a childish side-glare briefly aimed at Rosemary before fully turning to Thyme. "And try to make it so she leaves us alone."

"Try asking for help for a change, then," Rosemary stated as she appeared right between them, surprising the two, mostly the elf.

"Maybe we could try this again," Sage spoke softly to convince the two to give her and her friend an opportunity. "For now, could you at least think you're not alone?"

"Regardless of what you may think, we'll be fine and you've seen we can take care of things ourselves," Thyme reminded the mage with her gaze slightly narrower to convey her disapproval towards help.

"I'll have you know, we fix all sorts of trouble at Pebble," Rosemary informed them, hands on her hips and hefty chest puffed up proudly. Smiling cheerfully, she recalled the events, "From catching runaway grogs to fending the fields from cow-sized crows, and even facing off against dangerous beasts, we never go without aiding those in need!"

"Noble sentiment aside," Thyme flatly started, her right eyebrow threatening to twitch. "We don't need this much help. All we want is answers."

"For what exactly?" Sage inquired, eyes observing the two for any changes in behavior. "You never know, we may speed that up. Besides, my cousin Anise is in town. She's quite good with information."

"Are you serious?" Naruto clenched his jaw and shut his eyes, squinting them into annoyed slits as he asked Thyme. "Do you have like an informant or-"

"Just allow us to lend you a hand," Sage pleaded kindly.

"Everything we've done is argue, why try so hard to be nice to the beanpole and me?" Naruto asked suspiciously and ignoring Thyme's glare.

"Because helping others is nice," Rosemary replied, then giggled. "I mean, is there really any reason for being a hero? Other than it being the coolest thing ever when you can make others smile. Does that not sound like proper guardian goals or what? And I refuse to hear any other kind of answer about it."

"Smile, really?" he questioned her confusedly, eyes slanted in foxy interest.

"Yeah, I mean, you made those girls happy, and the rest of the passengers, too!" Rosemary stated with a proud grin. "I'd say that and being such a cute fox makes you cool in my book!"

"Ugh…" Naruto groaned, placing a hand on his head to ruffle his already messy mane. "Just… don't ever say that again. It feels so… weird to hear it…"

"That said, we'll be fine," Thyme reported. "If we need help, I'll contact you two. After all, we'll be going to the academy together."

"Well," Sage pondered on it. Part of her looked ready to disagree and keep insisting, but Thyme's stern green eyes made the mage's blue ones look at the elf's feet, "Please don't push yourselves, then."

"Don't worry yourself into insomnia," Thyme said before leaping forward and out one of the train's window.

"See ya," Naruto replied with a smirk as he dashed after the archer, leaving the duo of future guardian girls behind in the train.

-Inn-

"Are we really staying here?" Naruto questioned Thyme once they arrived at a typical if modest building.

Guests were already getting to their rooms for some proper sleep and ignored the fox child and the forest elf, the latter of whom spoke up, "I rented a room for tonight and tomorrow morning. Only until I get my room at the academy. However, that leaves the question of where you'll be staying."

"I thought you had a plan for me since you kind of implied it, String Bean," Naruto growled, crossing his arms with an accusatory stare and tone.

"Be more patient, I was about to get to it," the archer informed him. "You're not staying at the academy; your enrollment would take too long and you'd obviously not be into the idea. So, I'll cash in on a favor."

"Hold on, you've actually got friends?" he was honestly surprised, and there was no more genuine question than that in his life.

"Please, don't be yourself around her," Thyme told him with her usual dull tone. Pulling an envelope from her bag, she handed it to the blond, "I wrote the details and address here. Unfortunately for you, your stay will require manual labor."

"Like that'll happen!" Naruto's immediate response actually shocked the ranger slightly, her eyes wider than usual at his quick-fire reply. Baring his teeth, he raised a fist to the redhead, "You're not forcing me to do honest work for the sake of a bed and food! I signed up for a chance to dropkick demons, not be someone's chore boy!"

"More like a handyman," Thyme retorted flatly, eyes back to their unamused stare.

"Same difference, String Bean," he growled as he walked up to her.

"Okay, Whiskers, how about this?" she leaned down to be at face level with the boy and narrowed her eyes as he slanted his, the two glaring yet again. "Go there, try to not make an absolute fool of yourself, and see if you'd actually prefer to be in a warm bed or out on the streets."

"Come on, couldn't you let me in bed with you?" he questioned her just as annoyed and crossed his arms. "If you get a bed your size, I'm sure I could squeeze in."

Blushing slightly at what the boy had unknowingly implied by that, the bushy-haired girl straightened her back and pinched the bridge of her nose, "We do not need that proximity."

With both hands on his hips, the blond clenched his jaw and didn't say a word until he examined the closed letter, "Any chance they'll actually let me in?"

"Believe me, from what I know, your stay would be more than welcomed," Thyme stated with the same monotone as ever and a hand on her hip, which she tilted to the side.

"Ugh, I hate that I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not," Naruto ruffled his hair, then took a deep breath to let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, fine… But I'll come shake you down for a sleeping bag and food if this backfires."

"Deal, so long as we don't have to spend more time than necessary seeing each other," the forest girl stated with slight venom while pointing at the blond.

"That's good because I don't have to deal with your riddles or stupid rat nest," he shot back and pointed right back at her.

It was then that Thyme felt something snap inside her with a deep, guttural growl when leaning down, "Overgrown fur ball…"

Not that Naruto was any better as he met her ire with the same amount when pushing his forehead on hers, "Stubborn beanpole…"

"Young love…" the innkeeper joked from the counter, getting their attention. She was an old lady with a cheeky smile and simple robes watching and propping her chin on her hands, "Hehehe, don't make it so easy to tease you, whippersnappers. Kids like you are far too wet behind the ears, and being so easy to anger… Hehehe, you're begging to be teased."

"Zip it, lady," both teens growled in unison, separating themselves immediately and thus causing the elderly woman to giggle again before she returned to her reviewing papers. With a deep sigh, Thyme turned to her partner, "Look, just try to be polite for a change. This girl told me I could ask her anything for a small favor, and I can tell she means it."

"Fine," Naruto shrugged and took the envelope. "The sooner I can punch the face of whoever's behind the Rot, the better."

"Stop trying to sound tough, for your own good," the elf shot back as she walked into the inn.

"Alright, and you can stop being such a-" Naruto's words were cut off as the girl entered the inn, closing the door behind herself.

Walking to the counter, the elf turned to the innkeeper with a glare, "Not a word."

"Right, but should he return, I can give him a spare bed for your room," the old lady giggled, causing Thyme's ears to flicker and her cheeks to burn.

"Gh…" the tall girl choked for a split second before yanking her key out of the woman's hand and stomping to her room.

-Blacksmith Workshop-

"This can't be the place, can it?" Naruto asked as he read the address on the envelop and then looked at the path before him.

Before him was a small gateway which someone like Thyme would have to lean down to pass under to get through what appeared to be an empty alley. However, he could see and smell that there was a forge at the end. A familiar aroma of coal, steel, oil, and sweat emanated from the place. Grease and leather scents confirmed it. Still, he was surprised to find an entrance seemingly made for someone like him. Meaning, it was a place for either short kids or part of a disposal for a blacksmith's trash. Whatever the case, the elf told him that he'd find help there.

Once he set foot into what appeared to be an empty patio with the starry sky illuminating the walls lined with weapons, a sturdy anvil recently judging by the heat coming from it, and the forge, he was called, "Hi. Are you a new customer? Come on in, we close shop late for a reason."

"I guess I am," he approached the anvil, surprised when a gush of fire emerged from a burning cauldron which forced him to raise an arm to protect his eyes from it. A blade was shoved straight into oil to properly temper it; the hissing of the flames threw him for a loop especially, "Ugh, how can blacksmiths stand the heat?"

"Part of being me," through the flames, he saw a short, stout, and stacked figure emerge from it after pulling the cooled broadsword twice her size with ease out and placed it on the anvil at the center. The rasp of metal had his eyes go up across the body of the girl in front of him roughly about Thyme's age if not a month or two older who was also, thankfully, half a head shorter than him, "Alright, friend, you've come calling at a weird hour, your steel better be weirder."

"Do you-" he started, pulling out his shuriken, but then caught full sight of her.

Pointed ears about half the archer's length adorned her short wavy mane of blonde hair and framed a round, fair-skinned face which had bright blue eyes that shone at him. A brawny pair of arms with well-defined muscle hefted the sword, shoulders in full display as if to entice others. Breasts so gigantic as to be called cannon balls were contained only by a tanned hide apron. The apron concealed her front and yet covered nothing, showing off her truly titanic mammary glands, and how her hips were so thick a grown man's head could disappear in it should she sit on his face. The pumpkin-sized cheeks jiggled mightily and were hidden by the apron. She had short legs, but they were akin to stone pillars, just solid, thick, powerful muscle. What truly puzzled him was her genuine joy aimed at him despite the grease and sooth on her sweaty face.

She noticed him staring, and laughed, "I see you're red-blooded! Mom and dad are nagging me to get a guy, so I might choose you if you're lucky! Joking… or am I joking? Heh!" She possessed an easygoing and instantly likeable nature, especially as she kept talking even while dressing herself after getting him to blush. "Mind waiting for me before I check on what you're here for?"

"What… is she?" he whispered to himself, flabbergasted as she kept her eyes on him while smiling pleasantly, sincerely. He then realized he had caught her at a moment in which she was half-naked, for she wore a white loincloth with the back-string sliding between her buttocks, "Do you always work like that?"

"Benefits of being me, I don't get easily burnt," the girl started with a wide grin. "But fine, I guess I shouldn't have assumed there'd be no costumers this late at night."

"Just… what is she…?" he asked himself again, unable to look away.

On each hand the girl put on armored, brown leather gauntlets and similar boots on her feet. Her body was so plump, wide and powerful, she would need a pair of shields for breast armor. As she put on a pair of baggy gray pants without back pockets, he examined the shorter girl with an odd, awkward warmth inside him. The dwarf, for that was what she clearly was, had every inch of her body defined as muscular and yet appealingly thick, the truest element and embodiment of a female dwarf. She also wore nothing to cover her mammary glands except for the apron and – from what he glanced at from the side – white wrappings which showed plenty of the underside of her flesh orbs. Lifting a hammer seemingly composed of two head-sized blocks of iron put together, she smashed the blade with surprising ease, hammering it into shape.

In between her work, she announced her name with a friendly and upbeat tone, "Name's Parsley. I'm a Smith Knight, or in training at least. I work the steel. I beat the steel. And I wield the steel. And you, my good friend, are most definitely not a regular human." She noticed the weapon and envelope he had and put two and two together quickly. "I take it Thyme sent you. That girl, she really doesn't know how to flirt with guys… neither do I, but most guys who see me just call me a 'cow.' I usually have them say 'ow' when I'm done beating them up." He tensed since she looked more than slightly miffed at the end there, "I hate guys like that. But you, you're at least staring out with a face I like. What's the name, Sparky?"

Her hammer crashed own on the sword again, her words and speech throwing him for a loop, he could hardly believe her strength, "Sparky?! It's Naruto! My name is Naruto! And those guys are jerks…" He tried to respond, but she was drawing him into her pace. "Also I- HEY!" She grabbed his crooked weapon from him, and tossed it skillfully onto a worktable, "Watch it! That was a-"

"Gift, right?" she told him with a soft smile, interrupting him as she immediately worked the metal by placing it at the forge. "It's truly a unique weapon, a quality one, too. Whoever gave it to you wanted you have the best, Naruto." She tasted his name, smacking her lips on it, "Naruto! Yeah. That's a name that sounds good. You were named after food, too? I see those in noodles all the time. Naruto spirals."

"Are all dwarves this chatty?" he finally tried to get out of her pace.

Beaming, the girl shook her head, "Fine, I guess I can keep it on the down low." Checking on his shuriken, she smirked and placed the blade on the anvil, "So, mind telling me about yourself? What brought you here other than Thyme's letter?"

"I need a place to stay, and she told me you'd be able to give me a bed and food," he answered, watching as Parsley started singlehandedly smashing his shuriken with a smaller yet still large hammer. Large in her hands, though, but it looked like a sledgehammer with half the staff missing, and the idea of hard work made him groan with a hand ruffling his hair, "Told me I'd be your handyman, too…"

"Oh, finally!" Parsley nearly squealed as she eyed him up and down, a hand on her chin and the other propping her elbow. In turn, her breasts were squished in a way they seemed to spill out of her apron, "There's been so much to do here, and it's nearly driving me mad. Dad works the forge and mom the house, and with my brothers ready to train and learn the ways of the blacksmith it's just so-"

"Hold it for a second already," he pleaded and handed her the envelope. "Just try to tell me things in ten words or less."

"Right to the point, I see," Parsley told him without losing her smile while opening the envelope with one hand and with the other smashing the shuriken into place. "Let's see… Huh, so she'll switch to the dorms by tomorrow morning once her dad sends her stuff to her… More of the elven steel she promised is on its way… And, ha…" Letting out a snicker, the fox's fellow blonde turned to him, "I see you two get along."

"She better not be lying about me," Naruto walked to her, squinting his eyes next to Parsley's head to take a good read. "Parsley, I'm leaving this whiskered dolt in your care. He seems capable enough to handle a broom at the very least. In case he tries to backtalk, just be yourself around him and… Oh, I'm going to use that rat nest on her head to scrub every floor of this house…"

Giggling at his growling, Parsley handed him the letter as she grabbed a pair of large pliers to place the shuriken back in the fire, "Don't be so harsh on her. If she's asking me to trust you and lend you a room, then I have faith in her. Even if you two seem like you've known each other too well."

"Too long, too," Naruto added with a clenched jaw before examining the place. He spotted daggers, gauntlets, axes, greaves, swords, breastplates, spears, helmets and maces on the walls with items like scissors, garden tools, and even gears and tiny miscellaneous metal items on shelves, "What do you not do at this place?"

"Eh, maybe quiet," Parsley joked with a shrug before returning to hammering the red hot steel of the shuriken. "At least until it's nighttime and my brothers have to go to bed after their lessons and training."

"Any reason they can't do a single handyman's job?" he finally asked while inspecting a couple daggers which caught his eye.

"Oh, they're still too young," Parsley stated. "I'm the oldest and thus the only one big enough to hold the big hammers. My oldest brother is ten and the youngest four."

"Wait, your parents taught you to use hammers when you were a toddler?" he asked in disbelief, turning to her with a baffled expression.

"Yup, and my twelve brothers as well," she said with a beaming smile.

If one paid close attention, they'd hear Naruto's mind scratching to a halt as he recalled one of the village chief's lessons, "I… I heard you dwarves had large batches of kids at times, but this is crazy…"

"Better believe it, because it's about to get bigger," Parsley chortled awkwardly as sparks flew from her hammering. Using the pliers, she lifted and checked the shuriken to see if it was properly straightened, "That is why we need a helping hand. Well, that and because I'll be at High Guardian Academy with Thyme soon."

"Did you meet her because of that?" he asked, admittedly curious about the elf's past.

"Little bit of that and something else…" Parsley recalled as she quenched the shuriken in water, the steam making her sweat. "I wanted to get to know her since we are roommates, so I sent her a letter. She replied quickly with few words, and from there we just kept writing. By the end of it, we were sending each other stuff. My dad's been more than thankful of the elemental metals she gifted us."

"Hold on," Naruto pondered on that. "She's been sending you gifts? But how? Without the marks of whatever, she's not supposed to get much stuff."

"That's something for her to know and for me to respect," she informed him with a calm smile. "Sorry, but it is personal, and while I may chat away about my life, she's a friend." She then rubbed the back of her head with a sheepish grin, "And now I have to apologize to her for blurting it out to you."

"Friend…" Naruto recalled his original mission, then shook his head. "Alright, I can get a hint. I'm better off getting info out of the String Bean."

"Oh, already on a nickname basis, huh?" Parsley joked.

"Maybe I should sleep on the streets," he mumbled to himself while looking away.

"Don't be like that," she teased him with a wink as she grabbed a seemingly random stone slab to brush against the edge, rubbing the rock against the metal to polish each blade.

"How long's this going to take?" the boy asked impatiently.

Parsley then smirked as she handed him his weapon, "It's already done!"

Checking the shuriken once it was returned to him, the blond twirled it in his hands with wide eyes, "It feels… lighter."

"I also left a special gift for you," Parsley beamed and hefted her hammer on her sweaty shoulder. "Throw it into the air…" Despite the initial confusion, Naruto figured it wouldn't hold to try as he tested it, and was amazed that the weapon cut through the air faster than before, but the dwarf wasn't done, "Now, lift your hand and think about calling it back! Don't even say it, just think it!"

Following her instructions, Naruto brought up his hand… and his shuriken flew to it in a split second, "It… it moved on its own! But how?!"

Lifting her hammer, spinning it in her hand for dramatic effect, the girl revealed that it was covered in magical runes which glowed when she tightened her grip, "We dwarves are not as adept at magic as elves, but the thing we do best is forging, and we've picked all tricks possible to make our bread and butter easier. Enchanting is fun, too." Winking, she added, "Consider it a welcome gift, Mr. Handyman."

"Right…" Naruto was utterly stunned, his mind barely processing one question. "Just… what are you?"

"A friend, if you'd let me," she grinned widely, extending her gloved hand.

"Oh…" he looked at the hand, then at the girl's sweat-covered but sincerely smiling face, and then at the hand. "This is… so weird…"

"Shy one, aren't you?" she guessed and pulled her hand down, giggling. "Don't worry, I won't force you to be all chummy with me if you don't want to. Now, regarding your room and what you'll be doing…"

"Ugh, that beanpole and I are going to have a few words when I next see her," he whispered to himself while following the dwarf inside.

-Next morning-

At the inn, Thyme shifted in her bed, having to sleep diagonally on it due to her height, until the snoring next to her woke the elf with a groan, "Cut it out, Whiskers…"

Instead, she heard more snoring, followed by a knock on the door, "Dear girl, it is morning already. Your belongings have arrived at the reception, ready for whenever you want to collect them."

Rubbing the sand out of her eyes, the elf girl sat up with her blankets as the only thing covering her fully nude form, and then realized what she said earlier, "Oh… Right, he's not here…" Shaking her head, the redhead groaned and stood up, letting the sun shine on her slim, flawlessly skinned body before she got dressed, "I wonder what Whiskers is doing… Knowing Parsley, he's possibly already hard at work."

Truth be told, he was sleeping like a log in a small if still comfy bed. It was meant for a single regular-sized adult, obviously whoever could be the new helping hand at the forge. He was snoring softly after he had a good meal for dinner thanks to Parsley. Leftovers, but there was love in the food which would never be unwelcomed. Although, that left the issue that he hadn't met her family, let alone his actual employers… But a proper bed, roof, and food would have most people willing to sell their souls for slavery.

"Uh… oh man, that was a good nap," he sat up in only his pants with his clothes and a few scrolls on a tiny rack and bedside table.

"He's awake," he heard next to him, and when the blond turned a rush of adrenaline surged through his body.

During that moment, Parsley was about to greet her parents, but her knuckles halted inches from the door, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Wincing, the dwarf girl whispered to herself, "I should've seen this coming."

Naruto jumped to the wall behind him, clutching its corners with his hands and feet pressed on them to keep him away from twelve pairs of eyes. Miniature blond boys looked at the fox curiously with bright, blue eyes and a variety of outfits. Each dwarf was clad in the garb for specific classes of adventurers such as a fencer, a barbarian, a scythe knight, a paladin, a monk, a rogue, a bard, an archer, a mage, a healer, a shield knight, and a… sheep mage? They looked utterly adorable, but the small, short-haired boys and their awe made the fox uncomfortable. Just seeing how similar they were to each other made him tense up.

"Jumps good!" the one in the black robes of a rogue beamed, possibly either the youngest or about fourth to third youngest. "Are you Parsley's new… new… new friend thingy?!"

"Did you paint your face?" asked another, pointing to Naruto's cheeks as they continued to bombard him with questions.

"Will you teach us how to jump?!" questioned the fencer.

"Can you lend us, uh, that, um, spinny thing?" the miniature barbarian implored.

"My shuriken?" Naruto worried.

"Yeah, we saw you use it last night!" said the one in a sheep costume.

"EVERYONE!" Naruto's silent pleas to any deity who'd pity a demon were answered when a loud, booming voice echoed in the house followed by a large hammer hitting an anvil.

Five seconds later, his room was cleared, leaving the fox to silently whisper to himself, "What just happened…?"

Going downstairs, Naruto followed the wave of noise, tiny feet and cheer that were the dwarf kids. Once outside into the patio, he could see the forge in all its natural sun bathed glory. And at the center of it all a familiar face with two new ones. Judging by the fact both the people he didn't recognize had blonde hair, were barely two inches taller than Parsley, and had some years on them, he could tell they were the proud parents of the large family. Would it be normal given dwarf standards? In any case, he needed some answers and less noise.

"Bright up and early, I see," the man said.

Parsley's dad was a broad-shouldered male dwarf with a thick, bushy beard, hairy arms fir to lift anchors, and a wild mane of hair like a lion's. Clad in a brown leather apron with no shirt, a pair of green slacks, and black leather boots, he cut a simple yet still imposing figure. It was possibly how he easily hefted a massive hammer comprised of two anvils welded together and stuck to a large steel rod. He had his kids' grin.

"Oh my, such a cute young lad," said the woman.

The matriarch of the dwarf clan was a portly woman with an ever so slightly less muscular figure and the genes Parsley inherited for her assets. Compared to the other female dwarf, she looked older only because of the slight wrinkles under her eyes. With her long hair done in a bushy ponytail, the sleeveless white blouse, long blue skirt, and brown apron, she looked the part of a housewife down to a T. Until Naruto noticed she singlehandedly held a butcher's knife which could be confused for a broadsword. A feat beyond normal people was child's play for an obviously pregnant woman, for her large belly wasn't from overeating.

"Name's Naruto," he guessed he may as well greet them since he needed their place for however long he would be there to find the demon behind the Rot. Crossing his arms, he inspected the parents and had to at least ask, "So, uh, what do I even get started with?"

"Ahahaha, ready already, I see!" Parsley's dad laughed jovially. "Well, you seem human even if you're obviously not… Naruto, was it?"

"Yeah, but how'd you-" Naruto started with wide eyes, looking at the family with his hands on his hips.

Hefting the massive cleaver on her shoulder, the matriarch nodded, "Those marks on your face. Are you an animal spirit, perhaps?"

"I'm that obvious, huh?" Naruto groaned and scratched the back of his head with one hand.

"You're also shirtless, young man," the mother of thirteen added, her free hand on her hip. "Do be polite and go get fully dressed."

"But-"

Her stare froze him in an instant, the sweet smile and glint in her eye matching the edge of the oversized knife in her hand, "Are you back-talking me, young man?"

Gulping, the boy shook his head, "N-No…" Naruto turned to the guest room, muttering to himself, "How did she do that when not even the old chief can scare me with threats?"

Turning to her mother with a sheepish grin, Parsley spoke up, "I know I should've woken you up and told you about him, but… Well, I do trust Thyme, and he seems like a good guy. Oddly blunt, to be honest."

"Gahahah, not a bad lad if he's caught your eye!" her father quipped, much to her – as paradoxical as it sounded – shy amusement.

"Sheesh, he's cute, but I've barely even gotten his name," Parsley told him with a bashful grin.

"Let us tease him, though," her mother chimed in. "He's adorable, and you are at the ripe age for most dwarf girls."

"Please, let me focus on being a great Smith Knight," Parsley nearly grunted. "I mean, we've got the help, and you two wanted me to be here to lend a hand but now he's available."

"Right, though you shall be missed," her father nodded, stroking his beard. "After all, the first girl in this family and the one who really wants to continue the blacksmithing legacy of our clan."

"We like it, but…" the tiny boy in armor with the large scythe added.

"Going on adventures is a lot more fun!" beamed the one in barbarian armor as he lifted a double-headed axe over his head.

"Forgive us, boys, we know, but no proper dwarf can march on without knowing how to both make and wield steel," their father told them with a warm grin. He then held his hammer in both hands and smirked, "Now, which of you wants to go back to the last lesson of how to properly strike red-hot iron?"

"Me, me, me!" the wall of noise followed the patriarch while Parsley and her mother waited for Naruto.

"Then get ready to show me… by properly maintaining your weapons!" the man laughed loudly at the last part.

"Aw…" his kids sighed in slight disappointment that they couldn't do something cool like use fire, making their father increase the volume of his laughter.

Once the whiskered blond returned, turning to the only daughter as he adjusted his goggles, he asked, "So, what am I even supposed to do?"

"Don't rush, young man," Parsley's mother drew his attention, even waving friendly at him. "I'll teach you the ropes. Parsley's got her first day at High Guardian Academy to deal with."

Taking in her words, Naruto finally realized that the first dwarf he met was also in a different outfit, "Is that the uniform?"

"Believe me, getting it my size was tougher than you think," Parsley admitted with a wide grin.

Frankly, Naruto considered anything to fit her chest to be an achievement. Still, the girl looked oddly adorable in the blue blazer, though the white blouse and the yellow vest under it were strained by her breasts. A red tie dangled and slipped between them, making it hard not to stare. Donning a short, light blue skirt with black ankle-high socks and brown shoes, she did look the part of a schoolgirl. That said…

"Snrk…" he snickered as a malicious idea crossed his mind, his hand covering his mouth to cover the smirk. "I can't wait to see the String Bean in that… Hey, mind if I tag along?"

"No need, dear," the matriarch told him, causing the blond to flinch at her sweet, warm, friendly tone. "We've got breakfast to work on. I may cook a handful of things, but I intend to cook them well. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Naruto replied tensely, hands up in a defensive stance.

"I'll take you to the kitchen, then," the woman informed him and turned.

"Have fun and a nice day!" Parsley exclaimed as she passed by him, positively beaming. She ran off as the sound of steel clanging and bashing together echoed in the patio, "Enjoy your lessons, kids!"

"Will do!" her siblings cheered back.

"Greatest day ever…" he dully replied and followed the dwarf matriarch. "So, where do I start?"

Once inside the small, at least for him, kitchen, Naruto was amazed as the expecting mother of soon to be thirteen or more kids opened a door, "Be a dear and help me get started skinning this beastie."

"A whole bear?!" he asked, salivating a little at the sight of the beast.

"My dear husband caught it when teaching the kids how to properly test arrowheads," she explained, and then waved casually. "Don't worry, he didn't have the little ones shoot it down, even if the eldest wanted to try his new bow on it. That man just happened to walk across it as the kids were learning how to sharpen small blades…"

Grimacing, Naruto noted the fact that the bear had no head, "Um… where's its skull?"

"If I had to guess… about ten yards from where my husband hit the bear square in the face," she shrugged.

"Huh… you dwarves really pack a punch," he mumbled to himself and pulled out one of his scrolls.

"Dear, don't you want to-" the matriarch started until seeing him pull a Japanese sickle out of the paper in a cloud of smoke. "Oh my, not a bad knife."

"Just stand back, and I'll teach you how to make proper bear stew," Naruto told her with a wide grin, drool dripping out one of the corners of his mouth.

"Stewed bear?" she echoed, then clasped her hands. "Sounds absolutely scrumptious! It seems we truly are lucky to have such a handyman!"

-Rooftops at the market-

Looking down on the city was a small, black cat with an annoyed snarl on its face. Strutting on the tiles of the city, looking down at the stone roads and brick houses, analyzing the wooden stands and their wares for possible snacks, jewels, and magic artifacts worth stealing, she almost yawned. Being a four-legged embodiment of laziness and fluff, it was hard for the furry wanderer to resist a nap under the wonderfully warm rays the sun granted everyone. Just a little rest, curling up and enjoying the heat toasting its fur in an entrancing break.

Unfortunately for the feline, a familiar face appeared, "Still playing the part of a stray cat?"

Restraining a growl, the cat's body glowed and shifted, taking the form of the rogue girl Olive in her pouty glory, "You're out in the open, boss…"

A purple flame snickered with white wisps forming eyes and a mouth to talk to her, "Don't worry about me, however touching it may be. Be concerned about the fox."

"I've checked on him, he's working at a dwarf forge while the elf and those two dolts are at the academy," Olive informed the fiery face with a frown. "Also, what are you testing them for?"

"So the Rot in the elven forest proves to be the perfect tool I seek," the voice which came through the fire ball took on a deeper tone with an amused rhythm to it. "That is my current goal, after all."

"Then, why go after the beef-head and her pet bookwork?" Olive inquired with a confused expression. "Neither has anything to do with-"

"Oh, they do have a part in my plans, but it is a need-to-know basis," the fiery face informed her, grinning maliciously. "Right now, you do not need to know."

"Got it…" she replied and looked down.

"Now, I do believe the fox's name is Naruto," the cat girl's superior stated. "Kitsune, even as kits, are prone to trickery and have more than a few tricks. If you want to face him, do so as if he were an intelligent beast who follows its instincts but is capable of thought. Regarding the elf, it is obvious she cares for her forest, and her lack of markings tell us she has not earned any proper standing or… that she hasn't lost it. Investigate her link to it and you shall find weaknesses to exploit."

"For Rosemary and Sage… I know you want to push them to their limits, but why?" Olive asked softly, almost pleadingly. "The Rot will work regardless; do we need to target them?"

"You are a good girl, Olive," the flame started gently. "I adore how soft-hearted you are. Such a pure child like you needs a helping hand to guide them. Unfortunately, no one saw it before me. Please, aid me in the search for truth. A way to find out the true magic… and a way for us to move forward."

Kneeling, Olive looked at the floor as memories ran through her mind. Images flashed to assault her with snarls, growls, and… anger. Solitude, a darkness that devoured her…

"Right, sorry, boss," Olive nodded.

"Don't worry, Olive, the truth we find will change this world," the robed figure told her with a warm tone. "Now go, I'd like for you to keep an eye on the kitsune. He is to be considered an asset first and foremost. I do not wish for him to be harmed after that demonstration of his. However, do know that can change if given the right circumstances."

Olive nodded and left in a blur of speed, her body morphing back to being a regular cat. Landing on a roof of Parsley's home, she saw the dwarves' father inspecting the way his kids were sharpening their different weapons. A rapier, a double-headed axe, a scythe, a short double-edged sword, a set of gauntlets, a couple daggers, the edges of a harp, arrowheads, a mace, a healing staff, a thick shield, and a… shepherd's staff.

"Still wanting to be the best sheep mage, I see," the father told the sheep mage, who beamed as he used a file and sandpaper to properly smoothen his weapon. He chuckled when checking the barbarian's chosen weapon, "My, my, still a classic for us dwarves. The axe… Now, that brings back memories."

"Dear, perhaps you shouldn't get so nostalgic," his wife reminded him as she used a rag to clean her hands off blood. "Anyway, I've come to tell you all that we'll have breakfast done soon."

"Is that the amazing thing I've been smelling?" the man asked and took a whiff. "Mhm, smells like you've taught that fox spirit a thing or two."

"Actually, he's the one who showed me a recipe for bear stew with mushrooms, spices, and other stuff," the blonde woman smiled before leaning in close to her husband. "I see he's a bit on the rough side, but like a diamond. Do you think we should pair him up with our Parsley?"

"Hahaha, already wishing to find her a good man, aren't you?!" her husband guffawed before hefting his hammer on his shoulder with a massive, playful grin. "Well, like a proper father, I am obligated to test him in combat if he desires to ask for her hand in marriage! That's my only warning! Ahahaha!"

"Now, now, don't be like that," his wife fake-scolded him with a giggle and a light slap on his shoulder. Then, her smile fell slightly, "But… I've noticed something. The lad is not just a spirit. He may act like a child as spirited as ours with the bitterness of a teenager, but his eyes speak of something. I'm willing to bet gold to copper that our girl saw it, too."

"You know how she is when it comes to helping others, she takes it from you, my love," the dwarf father nodded.

"What are they talking about?" the tiny dwarf monk asked while polishing the heavy gauntlets.

"Parsley's boyfriend," the fencer replied while smearing cleaning oil on a rag for his weapon.

"Like, did she just get him to date her that quickly?" the barbarian asked with a whetstone in hand for his axe.

"Don't look at me," one commented sharpening the edges of his mace.

"I think Naru's lucky since being with Parsley means getting hugs and cookies from her," the sheep mage added childishly.

As the family talked, Olive moved to the kitchen, barely registering their conversation as she looked for Naruto. She found the fox stirring a massive pot with several bear pelts hanging on a rack to dry off. Wasting a bear's fur was not the way of any proper dwarf when it could be used for armor. The kitsune didn't care as he tried not to salivate at the idea of what he'd do with the extra meat.

"Roasted bear would be good for dinner," he licked his lips at the idea. Turning around with the ladle in his hand, he was about to call the matriarch, but found something, "Huh…? Is this food?"

Wrapped in cloth was a package which smelled of bread, goat cheese, honey, and deer meat. A single name was woven onto the cloth: Parsley.

"Oh, give me a break…" Naruto grumbled as he picked the girl's forgotten lunch. "Blabbermouth left her food here. Well, I could use the snack…"

Pondering on his actions, he lifted the lunch up and down on one hand… and then had a brief flashback to the dwarf girl's smile.

"Ugh… what am I thinking?" he groaned to himself, rubbing his face with a sour expression. After a couple seconds of staring at the package through his fingers, he clicked his tongue, "Tch, making me go all the way to fix her mistake… She better say thank you and share her meal with me for this." Turning to the door that led to the patio, he exclaimed, "Oi! Lady! Parsley forgot her food here! I'll get it back to her!"

Outside, the matriarch was already sighing before replying, "Oh, that girl gets so excited she'd forget her head…" speaking up, she tried to stop the fox. "Don't worry, child! I'll-"

Cutting her off mid-sentence was not something anyone could easily do, but Naruto managed to surprise her enough to do so. Leaping out of the kitchen in an orange blur, the kitsune practically flew to a wall and kicked off it to launch himself higher. Upon landing on the roof, the entire family watched him jump yet again into the distance with slacked jaws.

"I… think he'll get it to her himself," the patriarch told his wife with a baffled face and a slacked jaw.

"Well, I better check on the pot," the mother sighed, although she couldn't contain the smile on her face as she placed a hand on her cheek. "I am glad our daughter can make such a rowdy boy responsible."

-TBC-

And that's my rap!

Next episode, Naruto gets to the academy and you can expect shenanigans. For now, he's finally met the undisputed best girl in the main cast. Although, if you ask me, best girl overall is the murder purple gremlin.

Swordslinger out!