Chapter 4

Danny came out of the house, coughing violently and dropping to his knees.
"You okay?" Steve asked.
"Do I look like I am okay?" Danny replied. Then he gasped, grabbed his chest and started to wheeze.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked concerned.
"Can't breathe, can't…can't…can't…" His voice got lower after every word. Then he stopped talking, closed his eyes and stopped breathing.
"Danny! Danny! Danny!" Steve woke up screaming his partner's name.
He switched the light on and sat up, still breathing heavily. Then he lay back down. He stared at the ceiling for almost ten minutes.
Though his breathing was normal again by then, he was still seeing Danny lying motionless on the ground when he closed his eyes.
The good thing was that this incident hadn't happened. It was "just" in Steve's dreams.
Yes, Danny has had breathing problems when he came out of the house where they had taken down the perps that were dealing with carfentanil. But after he – just like everyone else who had been involved in the shootout - had gotten some oxygen and had taken some painkillers he was good again.
They all had even agreed to meet at a bar to cheer up Noelani after her uncle's death.
Danny has had a great evening and no after effects from the drug.
But that didn't seem to be important to Steve's mind. Real event and his own fears of what might have happened mixed up in his dreams arbitrarily.
Steve would have loved to go downstairs and check on his sleeping partner but he was on the mainland visiting Grace.
The SEAL went downstairs nonetheless and drank a bottle of water,
Then he went back upstairs and tried to get back to sleep. He couldn't.
He was on the verge of texting or calling Danny but in the end, he didn't do it. Afraid that Danny would find out – and he definitely would – what was going on and be on the next flight home.
So, Steve got up again, sat one the couch and switched on the TV, drank two more bottles of water and pace the whole first floor.
He couldn't get rid of the restlessness though. That's why he – despite the fact that it was still dark outside and would be for at least six more hours - decided to go for a swim.
He ignored his training and started way too fast. He swam for hours without listening to either his body nor his own voice of reason. He just wanted to get rid of his feelings, his thoughts and his worries.
On the way back to the beach he ignored his training once more. He had noticed the signs almost half an hour ago but instead of stopping and trying to reduce the strain on his muscles, he had continued his task. Now his arms and legs were cramping. He was struggling to keep himself above water for a few minutes but finally managed to ride the pain out and reach the shore with the first rays of sun.
Having overstrained himself, he collapsed on the sand and fell asleep.

He woke to a different kind of pain. His back and the back of his legs felt like someone had tried to torch those parts of his body.
He was also sweating and feeling cold at the same time.
When he got up dizziness and nausea hit him immediately.
He went back on his knees and vomited on the beach which produced a spiking headache.

It took him almost 15 minutes to get back to the house. When he had reached the kitchen, he was shaking and he had to grab the counter top for support. He had no idea when he had made it upstairs and above all how.
All he knew was that it was one of the worst weekends he ever had.
He spent it completely in his bedroom. Blinds closed and alternating between throwing up, retching, taking pain medication, shivering and sleeping.
He was thankful that Danny couldn't see him like that and wouldn't return until Wednesday and that Eddie was with Noelani until Monday.

Danny didn't know about any of this – how could he?
But he picked up on something. He had noticed a change in his friend. He had noticed the aging, the fatigue, even some kind of a withdrawal at work. Sure, he was there for his team when they needed him and in the field he was concentrated and into the game but he also assigned more tasks to his team members than ever before.
The last thing he noticed was Steve pacing around in his room at night – not just one night but almost every night.
He decided to talk to him.
Steve didn't want to talk though, just said that he had a lot on his mind and that he appreciated Danny's effort, care and concern.
Danny liked to talk even liked to bring out his rants but he also knew when to stop it. And this was one of the times. Pushing Steve would just lead to more silence.
He would come forward when he was ready, Danny was sure of that. He just always needs a little longer than others – probably part of his upbringing and training. The proof that Steve was still totally into the game came the same day.
He took down 5 people on his own and injured another one saving Danny's and his own life with it. Even Grover was impressed. Danny "just" helped him with the last one who was about to kill Steve.

On the way back from that cabin Steve had said "I had always taken sunsets for granted. Probably because I thought I'D see a million more. Just because you see things every day doesn't mean it is less important, huh? In fact, I think they are gonna be the things you miss the most in the end."
Later on he had added "Admit it you gonna miss that when it's done."
There had been something about the way Steve had said those sentences that had given Danny a bad feeling– still did when he thought about it. That day though he had started to tease Steve about it to lighten the moment and to get rid of the creeps going up and down his spine He also wasn't sure if Steve was still talking about sunsets at the end.
Something was going on with his friend and Danny was (almost) sure that whatever was about to come would have an impact on both their lives. He just hoped it would be a good change and if it was a bad that it wouldn't be forever.

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