12 August 1991 B
Shropshire cautiously stepped backward into the hotel bathroom, only opening the door as wide as she needed to walk through it and closing it immediately behind her. She clutched a stack of clothes close to her chest.
Paul stuck his head out from behind the shower curtain. "Found some clothing?"
"Yep!"
Paul yawned. "How about you pass it here?"
"You're dry, you can step out of the shower".
"I don't want to though".
"If you insist". Shropshire tore the plastic packaging around a five-pack of boxers and playfully tossed a pair at her spouse.
Paul caught it and retreated behind the curtain. "Thanks".
"No problem". Shropshire sat on the closed toilet. She eyed the pile of clothes on the counter. "What do you want to do with your old clothes?"
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't know if you wanted to get rid of them because of bad memories or something.."
"No, they're still good".
"Are you sure? They're torn up and caked with a month's worth of sweat".
"Yeah, I'm sure. They can be work clothes".
"They were already work clothes before you were kidnapped".
"They've done a good job before, they'll do a good job again". Paul's hand reached out from behind the shower curtain.
Shropshire took a pair of tan shorts off the clean clothes pile and set it in his hand. "It was the only pair I could find in your size at the thrift store, but it's missing a button".
"That's fine".
Shropshire idly looked around the small bathroom. The walls were pretty thin, she could almost make out a conversation going on between London and Australia in the main section of the hotel room.
Paul threw the curtain aside and reached for the folded T-shirt on the counter. He used his non-dominant hand to hold the loose-fitting shorts to his hip.
"You've lost some weight". Shropshire eyed Paul's newly visible rib cage.
"Yep".
"I think we passed an all-you-can-eat buffet place on the way here if you'd like to stop there," Shropshire suggested.
"I just want to go home".
"That's fine too".
Australia's voice, now tinged with frustration, penetrated the wall.
Paul sighed as he pulled the shirt over his head. "Why did I marry into a family of morning people?"
Shropshire stuck her head out of the bathroom door.
"So you're telling me that you knew Paul was there?" London interrogated.
"Yes!" Australia confirmed, exasperated.
Shropshire stepped fully out of the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. She leaned against the wall, watching the argument helplessly.
London adjusted her glasses. "And you didn't tell me this before we left?"
"Because you wouldn't believe us!" Australia seemed to have been tired of answering the same question in circles.
"Why wouldn't I believe you?"
"I can't say!"
"Why couldn't you tell the police he was there then?"
"They wouldn't believe us!"
"Did you at least tell the police that you knew ahead of time?"
"No!"
"So you lied to the police?" London accused.
"Yes! I lied to the police! What are you going to do about it? You lied to the cops when we all went down to Melbourne for Shroppy's hen night".
Shropshire sheepishly interjected. "Aussie, these walls are a tad thin, you might want to lower your voice".
Australia turned to her cousin, then looked around the room. "Oh". In a moment of silence, they could hear a couple outside talking about their plans for their day as they walked past their room. "Ah fuckin strewth, I should've kept my mouth shut".
"Though I suppose you make a good point," London continued after a moment of introspection, "the law doesn't always dictate morality. That said, I still want an explanation".
"I can explain later," Shropshire reassured. "You said we'd talk when we get back to Sydney. Paul's almost ready, so maybe we should get going first".
Paul stepped out of the bathroom, clenching his shorts.
"Ah, speak of the devil".
"Hey, do any of you ladies happen to have a spare belt?"
"I don't…" Shropshire glanced at London and Australia.
Australia pulled the drawstring out of her hoodie. "I never use this, you can have it".
Paul accepted the gift. "Thank you".
London picked up a local guide pamphlet left on the nightstand between the two beds in the room. "Paul, would you like to pick a restaurant to stop at for breakfast?"
Paul yawned as he strung the drawstring through his belt loops. "I'm too sleepy to eat".
"There's a Macca's in Bathurst," Shropshire noted.
"I could really use some chips now that you mention it…" Australia patted her stomach.
"Just don't get them all over the car," London added.
"Yes mum, I'll keep the car clean".
"Aaand here we are. Back before one," London noted as she stepped through the front door of her house. "We still got the rest of the day ahead of us".
Paul walked in behind London, passing her and marching straight for the refrigerator.
"Someone's hungry now," Shropshire commented.
"Hungry and feeling like I'm going to throw up". Paul swung the refrigerator door open. "I could really use some vegetable or something else very basic… Oh. That's a whole lot of carrots".
"Will carrots do?"
"I think".
"Hands off my Carrots!" Australia ran through the front door with her camping backpack haphazardly slung over her shoulders.
"We can get more carrots, let the poor man eat," London chided.
"Eh, I'm not hungry enough to fight off Australia's fury". Paul returned from the kitchen and collapsed face-first on the unfolded futon.
London walked to her office space, staring at Paul with concern as she walked past. She set her purse on her desk, spun her office chair around, and sat in it. "So, about yesterday…"
Paul spoke, but his voice was muffled by the mattress.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
Paul reluctantly rolled onto his back. "Just getting right down to business as soon as we get home, are we?"
Shropshire pulled a chair from the dining room table. "We'll have to rip off the band-aid eventually". She sat down backward in the chair, resting her hands on top of the chair's backrest.
"So, how did you find Paul?" London interrogated.
Shropshire took a deep breath in, mustering the courage to answer.
"Shropshire's dreams," Australia blurted as she emerged from the kitchen with a mouth full of carrot.
Shropshire stared at Australia, mouth agape as if she just witnessed her cousin murder a kitten.
"Don't get mad at me!" Australia swallowed. "You said 'rip off the band-aid'".
"Shropshire…" London's voice was tinged with disappointment. "You know what I said we would need to do if you acted on those dreams again".
"But it worked!" Shropshire argued back.
"This doesn't mean it wasn't a coincidence".
"Wait, just to keep things straight," Paul placed a hand on his forehead, "the dream thing is the same as the timeline thing?"
"Yes," Shropshire confirmed.
"Did she tell you too?" London asked.
"Yes, she did. And I'm very inclined to believe her," Paul responded.
"Really? You've never been the type to believe in superstition".
"I mean she found me and I'm not sure what reason my wife would have to lie to me about something like that. It's pretty easy to fake a UFO sighting. It's hard to pick a random house out of a million that just so happens to be the one single house you want. Knowledge from another timeline feels at least as valid to me as it being a coincidence".
"I don't know, one in a million odds are small enough that they happen to someone every day. Yesterday could've just been our turn. What are the odds that Shropshire just happened to break the known laws of physics to get that information?"
"I don't know". Paul grimaced and rubbed his eyes.
"She came up with an exact address," Australia butted in. "Shroppy, have you heard of that road the house was on before?"
"I haven't".
"So then what are the odds she dreams of an address that she never heard of before and that address actually exists?"
"Well," London thought aloud, "There are only so many words that a street can be named and so many houses to fit on that street, so the odds are still probably finite".
"Is this even a valid statistics question?" Paul asked. "Like can we calculate the odds that someplace like '123 Joeseph Street' exists in New York City? Seems like either it's there or it's not".
"Well maybe we can start by figuring it how many cities in America have a Joseph st-"
"Wait wait wait! My brain's doing something". Paul placed both his palms over his eyes and stretched as he thought. "So, Shropshire would need to break the known laws of physics to get that information, and if you can break the known laws of physics, that means the real laws of physics are different. Can we even calculate the odds that our current laws of physics and observations of the universe are correct? Like if we lived in the stone age, can we calculate the odds that the geocentric model of the solar system is correct without knowing the alternative?"
London was silent for a moment. "I wouldn't know".
Paul yawned. "So couldn't you accept that maybe she's onto something?"
"Maybe," London conceded, "but I'd need some more experimental evidence before I can completely believe her. You might be emotionally biased given the circumstances".
"You might be emotionally biased by the circumstances. How about we come up with an experiment?"
"What would we even experiment?"
"The London in the other timeline did an experiment". Shropshire's posture straightened. "Remember the incident with the 'magpie roosts at midnight' or whatever that code phrase was".
"That was an experiment?"
"Yeah because Achilles is in the same boat as me, the other London thought to see if I can give Achilles information in this timeline and then transfer it to the other one".
"Then why did I get that call in this timeline?"
"Maybe my letter wasn't clear enough or Leander misunderstood Achilles. But you got the phone call in the other timeline too".
"But how would I know that you and Achilles weren't colluding?"
"The other London sent a letter to Leander to use a different code phrase depending on if Achilles got mail from me in that timeline or not".
"But how would I know that Leander wasn't colluding?"
"Idunno, trust?"
"You understand such claims need to be verified with more rigor than trust, right?"
"The other you is probably working on a more rigid experiment now".
"Well, she better come up with a good idea soon".
"Shropshire also falls deep asleep around eleven thirty, you can at least verify that part of her story by giving her heaps of coffee and seeing if she still falls asleep," Australia suggested.
"What does her sleeping have to with this".
"I don't know, I guess she has to sleep to have her 'dream' of being in the other timeline".
Paul yawned. "She also slept like a baby last night at the hotel. You know how she normally can't sleep the first night she's somewhere new".
"But that was an emotionally draining day".
"How about we go to the store and get a bunch of coffee then?" Shropshire stood up.
"I guess we'd have to". London stood up and slung her purse over her shoulder.
Shropshire approached the futon and leaned over Paul. "Hey darling, is there anything you'd want to eat for dinner tonight?"
Paul snored.
"I think tired himself out by thinking too hard," Australia joked.
"Aw, poor thing". Shropshire pulled a blanket over Paul.
"We should probably get something easy on the stomach". London adjusted her glasses. "We also probably should schedule a doctor's visit for him in the near future".
13 August 1991 A
"Any progress convincing the other me?"
"I hope". Shropshire sat a mug of tea in front of her sister.
"Not having your morning coffee?"
"Let's just say now I can see why caffeine is a natural pesticide".
London pondered her sister's words for a moment. "I see".
"The other you is suspicious of collusion with Achilles too, so she doesn't want to do the codeword experiment like we did. Do you think you could come up with something that doesn't require Achilles?"
"Huh, that seems tough. I'll see what I can come up with".
17 August 1991 B
Shropshire laid in bed, clenching a pillow to her chest and her eyes shut as the sound of Lego bricks stirring together in a bin. The noise stopped and she loosened back up. She took a deep breath in and gently closed her eyes, hoping to return to sleep, until the noise returned. "Would the two of you please take your building blocks somewhere else?" she grouched quietly.
Paul and Australia sat on the floor, each with a green baseplate in front of them. Both their baseplates had partially constructed houses on them. Paul stood up, cradling his baseplate in his arms. "Sorry about that, I guess we should take this downstairs".
"Shropshire killing the fun". Australia stood up reluctantly, then glanced over at her cousin. The site of the bags under Shropshire's eyes changed her tune. "Fuck, you look like shit. Alright, I'll leave ya alone".
Just after Paul and Australia filtered out of the room, London peaked her head into the room. "Hey, Shropshire?"
Shropshire groaned.
London fully stepped into the room. "You're in bed unusually late. I just wanted to check if everything was alright".
"I feel like I have an ice pick in my skull".
"Ouch". London winced as she approached her sister. "Other than that, how are you feeling?"
"Exhausted".
London held the back of her hand to Shropshire's forehead. "You don't feel warm".
"I think it's the coffee".
"Yeah. You are falling asleep when you say you would, but it seems your sleep quality is being impacted".
"Do you have enough data to trust me yet?"
"Maybe not on the timelines, but at least on the passing out at the same time".
"So no more coffee?"
"No more coffee"
Shropshire threw her head back against the pillow. "Thank fucking God".
The two sat in silence momentarily.
"Shropshire?"
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking of shopping for seeds for our garden later. Would you like to go with me?"
"We'll see. I just want to sleep".
London stood up. "Then I'll leave you to it". She walked towards the door. "Good night".
"Don't you mean good morning?" Shropshire joked with what little energy she had remaining.
"Actually it's two thirty in the afternoon".
"Ah, fuck me," Shropshire muttered under her breath.
"Sweet dreams". The door shut with a gentle click.
19 August 1991 A
Paul pushed the front door aside and stepped through. "They were out of film for your camera".
"Oh well. I think I can survive without film until we land in Auckland". London sat at the futon, watching afternoon television.
Shropshire walked in behind Paul. "But we did find a lower back brace so Paul doesn't throw out his back again once we land".
"I told you, I'm fine without it," Paul argued. "I might not be able to bridle carry you, but I think I can still give you a piggyback".
"Please".
"It will look embarrassing".
"It would look suspicious if you needed London to team drag my unconscious body all the way to the rental car".
"I guess you have a point".
"I don't think you have to carry her far anyway," London reassured. "We'll be landing after midnight, so we could probably set her down on a luggage cart that no one else will be using and push her".
"Wouldn't that also look a bit suspect?"
"If anyone asks we'll just say she has narcolepsy".
"Wait, couldn't we say she has narcolepsy from the get-go and get airport staff to help us?"
"I guess we can".
"Is that how narcolepsy even works?" Shropshire asked. "Can you not wake someone with narcolepsy up?"
"I have no clue how narcolepsy works, so just we'll say a 'narcolepsy-like condition'. Oh, and Shropshire?"
"What is it?"
"I think today might be a good day for the other me to do a code phrase experiment anyway. After you leave the house, you're not going to have any way of communicating with Achilles until we arrive at their place. Or at least not in a way that the other me won't notice. That way you can control… for…". London's gaze was captured by the television.
"Control for what?"
"Shh!" London pointed at the screen.
Shropshire and Paul walked behind London to see the TV.
"...Russian president Yeltsin denounced the actions of the emergency committee as a coup. He called for a general strike in protest," a female voice reported over footage of a crowd gathered in front of the Russian parliament building. "Earlier bus and truck drivers worked with protestors to barricade the Russian parliament where Yeltsin and his supporters are gathered".
The background footage changed to a compilation of tanks and APC's rushing down city streets. The text at the bottom of the screen read "APPARENT COUP IN THE SOVIET UNION". A male's voice took over. "Do we know why the Soviet army is moving into Moscow?"
"We're not entirely sure," The first reporter answered. "All we know is committee claims that the Soviet President is sick and they're reassuring the public that the transfer of power is constitutional. Aside from that, there's not much information coming from official channels. However, there are rumors that troops are split between who they are loyal to; the committee or Yeltsin. There's probably something more going on here".
"Do we know anything about the whereabouts of the Soviet President?"
"Last we heard of him, he was on vacation in Crimea. We don't know anything else about his condition".
The screen cut back to footage of a regular news anchor desk. "Thank you for your reporting," a middle-aged man replied from behind the desk. "News channel fourteen will continue providing updates as the situation unfolds. Back at home, the leader of the Australian Democ-"
London turned off the television with the remote control. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.
"It's probably nothing," Paul instinctively reassured.
"Hopefully," London agreed, releasing her held breath. "This is a new story, we don't have a lot of information, and the news sensationalizes things".
"What's the worst that can happen anyway?" Shropshire asked.
"Based on the information we have, it seems… thermonuclear civil war". London buried her face in her hands and groaned.
"Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine".
"Should we cancel our vacation?"
"What would be the point? What would I be doing instead? As I've said before, there's no life goal that I have that I can magically work towards on such short notice, so if this somehow escalates into a full-scale nuclear war I'm probably better off just continuing what I was doing as if I never heard the news".
Paul paced towards the stairwell and grabbed a suitcase sitting on the bottom step. "I don't think it's going to get that bad, and a vacation will probably make you feel better anyway".
"If only I left the tele off, then I wouldn't be worrying about this". London paused for a moment, leaving the room in silence. Suddenly, she turned to Shropshire. "Don't let the other me watch the news".
"What?"
"In the other timeline, keep me away from the news. If I'm stressing about the news this much now, I can only imagine how much stress I'd be experiencing if I were also still recovering from everything else that happened in the other timeline".
"What if things escalate?"
"Still don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss".
"Okay," Shropshire nervously agreed.
Paul looked at his watch. "...So, London, have you finished packing up?"
"Yeah. Just about".
"So we should be able to leave for the airport when Australia arrives?"
"Yeah, should be".
There was a knock at the door.
"Well speak of the devil"
Shropshire walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey, Aussie! How're you doing".
Australia stepped inside, her stride unusually animated. "I'm doing great! Are you three planning on having an excellent vacation?"
"Of course!"
"Thank you for housesitting for us". London stood up. "You seem happy".
"Just got a letter from Suffolk. She's doing really well and I'm happy for her".
"That's good to hear".
Australia pulled a notepad out of her pocket. "I wrote down all the tasks you told me to do over the phone. Is there anything else I should do?"
"Not that I can think of…"
"Actually," Shropshire interrupted, "you should be aware that in our cellar we have two weeks of emergency supplies. Since it would be just you instead of the three of us, you should be able to make them last a month and a half".
"Good to know," Australia noted, "but I think I'll be fine. It's not like there'll be a zombie outbreak or something". She chuckled.
"Well just in case of zombies there's a shotgun in my wardrobe. It just has blanks though".
Australia laughed. "You've always been quite the joker".
Shropshire extended the handle of our suitcase. "Are we about ready to go?"
"Yep". Paul started walking towards the door.
London slung a backpack over her shoulder. "I'm ready. Stay safe, Australia".
"Will do! Have fun on your trip!"
"We'll try our best".
The three left and closed the door behind them. Australia chuckled to herself. "'We'll try our best'. Those three are silly".
Waffles slowly came down the stairs, staring at Australia.
"Hey, kitty!"
"Meow".
"Yeah, it's kinda quiet with them gone. How about we turn on the TV?" Australia plopped herself on the futon, picked up the remote, and turned on the television. "A coup, eh?"
Waffles jumped onto the couch next to Australia.
Australia spoke with exaggerated shock. "Janet Powell has been couped! Can you believe it waffles‽"
The cat rolled into a ball, yawning.
"Yeah, I agree, politics is boring". Australia rested her feet on the coffee table. "Let's see if there's any snowboarding on".
19 August 1991 B
"Hey, London?"
"What is it?"
Shropshire pulled a chair from the dining room and sat. "So, you know how we're going on a late-night flight?"
"Yeah?"
"So that means I'd fall asleep and go to the other timeline before we land in New Zealand?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Well between now and the time we see Achilles and Leander in person, I'll be completely unable to contact them. If you want to test the timeline thing where I talk to Achilles in the other timeline and give her information that she didn't have before, now would be a good time".
London thought for a second. "I guess you're right. What information should I have you tell her though…"
Shropshire noticed the time and that the television was on. It was getting dangerously close to the time for the evening news. "Maybe you'll think better without the tele on".
"Yeah, that's a good idea". London pointed the remote at the TV and turned it off. "I think giving you a phrase would be a good idea".
"What else would you give me?"
"I was thinking of giving you a bunch of arbitrary digits, but those would be hard for the two of you to remember. Phrases are easier to remember and harder to randomly guess".
"Do you have any phrases in mind?"
"That's the tough part. I want to come up with something that would be easy for you to remember but hard for Achilles to guess".
"You could do something related to birds like you did in the other timeline".
"But the other me already did something like birds. She also already knows I like birds. She might guess something bird related".
"How about reptiles?"
"I think it might be better if I look outside the realm of biology". London reached for her mug of tea. "I want to use the phrase 'Klatuu barada nikto' but I don't know if Achilles has seen that film".
Suddenly the front door opened. Australia and Paul came stepping through, both carrying several brown paper bags.
"Did you find film?" London asked.
Paul set his bags down on the dining room table, pulled a roll of film out of one of them, and casually tossed it at London.
London caught it. "Thank you".
"Not a problem". Paul was about to pick up the bags and carry them over to the kitchen.
"Paul?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you think of a phrase that's easy to remember but hard to just make up?"
Paul visibly winced. "I don't know about hard to make up, but I still have this song stuck in my head from like fifteen years ago and I can't get it out. Why?"
"Just thinking of information to send to Achilles in order to recreate that experiment the other me did".
"Oh, if we can do songs, can we do the Spanish donkey song?" Shropshire asked egarly.
"I don't think so, you've sung that in front of Achilles before, so she might remember it".
"What Spanish donkey song?" Paul asked.
Shropshire cleared her throat "Hacia Belén va una burra, rin rin," she sang.
"Oh right, that one. I think it's a bit early for Christmas songs".
London took a sip of tea. "What is the song you got stuck in your head, Paul?"
"I have no idea if there's a British or Australian equivalent to this, but when I had to watch my little brother he always wanted to watch this television show with a bunch of educational songs. The one that always sticks in my head was one about the constitution and they literally just used the preamble of the constitution as its chorus".
Shropshire turned to London. "Do you think Achilles knows the preamble of the American constitution?"
"Why would she?"
"So are you two ladies packed?" Paul asked.
"Yeah, I'm about ready to go," London answered. "I just want to see if there's anything important on the news before we-"
"There probably isn't," Shropshire interrupted.
London shot her sister a strange look. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine… I just think that we're about to go on vacation and isn't the whole point of vacation not worrying about what's going on elsewhere in the world?"
"We're not on vacation quite yet". London turned on the TV.
Shropshire grimmaced as she heard a female news anchor's voice, fearing the worst.
"...will be planning on holding a funeral service for the family next week. Authorities say their deaths likely would have been avoided with a carbon monoxide detector. The fire department urges families to replace their carbon monoxide detector batteries every six months and the entire alarm every five years. After the commercial break: lead paint. Is it as dangerous as we've been lead to believe? Stay tuned for our full interview with the CEO of the Queensland Toy Company".
"That's sad," London commented. "Hey, Australia!" she shouted.
"What is it?"
"While we're gone can you replace our smoke detector's batteries".
"Aye, can do!"
20 August 1991 A
Paul, Shropshire, and London sat near the end of a school cafeteria table. They all sat on the same side as each other. On the other side sat Leander. In front of each of them were an empty plate, a glass of water, a glass of wine, and a set of silverware. An additional plate sat next to Leander. The room had a second cafeteria table, but it was covered with books, crayons, and half-finished drawings of stick people and square houses. The three women were laughing as they reminisced about their time at the Royal Navy Academy together.
Paul eyed the various posters taped to the pastel blue walls. He waited for a lull in the conversation. "So… Do you ever feel weird living the same place that you work?"
"Paul, I live in the same place I work!" London exclaimed. She got a laugh out of everyone at the table.
After everyone settled down, Paul clarified. "You write books for your work. Leander runs a daycare. I think it would be strange to be running a daycare out of the same building I live in".
"Oh, it becomes second nature after a while," Leander pointed upwards. "I think it helps that our living space is all on the second floor. At the end of the day, once I climb those stairs, it's like a switch flips".
Achilles shoved a two-way kitchen door to the side. She dragged a two-level catering cart behind her. "I hope everyone is hungry".
"I haven't eaten all day in anticipation," Paul commented.
"Well, let's see what we have here…". Achilles started transferring the dishes from the cart to the table. "Rice… samosas…. naan… chicken tikka masala as the main course… oh, and Paul, you said you like spicy food, right?"
"Yeah,"
"Well just for you, I made an extra special curry for you". Achilles sat a dish on the table and lifted the lid off the top to reveal a mustard brown concoction with medium-sized chunks floating in it. "My special pork potato vindaloo!"
London picked up the dish with rice and scooped some onto her plate before passing it to Shropshire. She then pointed at the dish of chicken tikka masala. "Do we put the curry on top of the rice or to the side?"
"Whatever you want".
"But how do they serve it in India?"
"I don't know, I'm pretty sure the dish is from Brittain actually".
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, there's debate over exactly where, but from what I understand it's either from Bangladeshi or Pakistani immigrants".
"That's interesting". London scooped a decent helping of the curry onto her plate. "How about the other curry?"
"I think it's from Goa actually. If you believe the words of the Portuguese, then Goa is metropolitan Portugal and therefore it's a Portuguese dish. If you believe my superiors from the Indian Navy, then that's a different story…" Achilles chuckled with a tint of nervousness.
Shropshire offered Achilles an out. "So, if you don't mind me switching to the bigger elephant in the room, may I ask for a favor from you?"
"Ah, the timeline issue. I figured we'd talk about it eventually". Achilles plopped a ladle of vindaloo onto her plate. "What's going on?"
"So the London in the other timeline still isn't convinced, and we proposed an experiment that we need your help with. It's similar to the experiment we did through the mail last month, just this time we need you to memorize the preamble of the United States Constitution".
"Done".
"Good. Paul has it memorized so you can learn it fr-"
"No, I mean I already have it memorized".
"That's odd," London commented. "Why do you have it memorized?"
"Funny story actually. Leander and I went to America for summer vacation last year. When we were in California, there was a store that had a bunch of clearance price educational VHS tapes. Since we run a daycare, we thought they'd be useful to have around, so we just bought the whole lot. It included one tape that was all songs about how the US Government, and for whatever reason the children all love it".
"California bites me in the ass yet again," Paul cursed.
"Achilles is selling it short". Leander stood up and walked over to the other cafeteria table. She procured a drawing from the pile and gave it to Shropshire. "They've been thoroughly indoctrinated with the American civil religion".
London adjusted her glasses as she leaned into Shropshire. "What does it say?"
Paul squinted. It took him a moment to decipher the child's handwriting. "I'm just a.. Oh no".
"I'm just a what?" Achilles teased.
"A bill".
"I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill," Achilles sang. She took the paper out of Shropshire's hands and returned it to the drawing table.
"I wish someone could remove the memory of those songs from my head".
London adjusted her glasses. "I take it it's the same program your brother watched?"
"Yep".
"So now what?" Shropshire asked. "The whole point was that there would be no way you would just guess the whole preamble randomly".
"You could try the experiment we did," Leander suggested.
"You two came up with your own experiment?"
"Of course. I just told Achilles a secret about myself that I knew she didn't know. She then told me in the other timeline, the other me told her another secret I knew she didn't know, and then we both knew Achilles was probably telling the truth about the timeline stuff".
"How long did it take you to come up with that idea?" London asked. "It's brilliant and it only requires one of you".
"She had that idea the same day I started to suspect I was alternating between two timelines," Achilles answered. "It was a good way to get to know my little sister better".
"I thought Leander was older than you".
"She's so innocent I always thought of her as a little sister in spirit. Or at least that's what I thought before she started telling me her secrets".
"So then why didn't you mention this experiment to us in the letters?"
Leander swallowed a mouthful of water. "You're smarter than me, so I just assumed that your experiment was better and you didn't need our advice".
"If I'm smarter than you, I don't think it's by much," London argued. "Anyway, I think I do have a good secret for you to shock the other London with".
"That's good". Shropshire stabbed a chunk of chicken with her fork. "Glad we got that all resolved. Oh, by the way, it doesn't seem the coup happened in the other timeline".
"Oh, it didn't?"
"Nope. We just got a story about a local family dying of carbon monoxide poisoning instead".
"That's sad. I need to call Australia and ask her to change our CO detector's batteries…"
"So I don't think we need to enlist Achilles to distract the other London".
"Wait?" Achilles leaned in. "Why would I need to distract the other London?"
"Because in the other timeline, after the whole Paul being missing and drama with both me and Sussex, she'd be overstressed by the news of the coup".
"Yep, that sounds like London," Leander remarked.
"Well, good thing it isn't happening in the other timeline," Achilles jokingly thrust her fork in Paul's direction. "Maybe Paul is a secret agent and him going missing was cover for him going to stop it".
"I'm not a secret agent". Paul shook his head.
"That's what a secret agent would say. Now, why haven't you taken a bite of your Vindaloo yet? Are you scared I'm a counter-agent trying to poison you?"
"No, of course not". Paul shoveled a chunk of potato into his mouth.
"How is it?"
Paul chewed for a moment. "It's not that spi..cy". As the heat suddenly caught up with him, he grasped his water glass and guzzled half of it.
Achilles cackled maniacally. "MI6 sends their regards".
The women at the table shared a laugh at Paul's expense.