Exams were hectic times. Certainly. Mostly for students. But teachers had their own share of things to deal with, she supposed.
Such leisurely thoughts flitting through her mind, she took a moment to readjust her grip on the stack of notebooks in her hands. The pile went roughly up to her chin, and had threatened to topple as she stepped over the threshold.
Her twin tails bouncing lightly behind her, Rifuta Imu kept a steady pace behind her homeroom teacher, who carried in her hands a similar sized stack of notebooks, albeit far less elegantly. Homura-sensei was a woman with many good qualities, but grace was not one of them. And neither was timeliness apparently. She had finished grading their essays, the ones they had submitted three weeks prior, mind you, only this very morning, and was in much haste to return them before break.
For her purposes, she had entreated an additional pair of hands to carry the notebooks back from the staff room. When Rifuta had offered, as one might imagine, some of the other students, boys especially, were feeling very charitable towards sensei all of a sudden, offering to go together, if not instead. But Rifuta had declined their help. It was nice to go out and do things on your own every now and then, for appearance sake if nothing else. it seemed a good note to wrap the semester on.
And so here she was, a firm grip in her dainty hands, watching the third years slowly pour out into the hallway as she followed after sensei. Some paused as they noticed her (as they should), some even offering a hand, but enough just stopped at a cursory glance in her direction and that was it.
…The lackluster reactions were as vexing as the fact that she was actually starting to get used to them. In any other school, she'd be turning heads enough to make owls out of them. Having them worship the very ground she walked on.
But, of course, that wasn't going to happen here. Or, at least, not nearly to the same extent.
This wasn't just any other school. This was PK.
Her abode.
The illustrious, the wonderful, the fantabulous darling resident angel (or Goddess, depending on who you asked) of PK, Teruhashi Kokomi.
Rifuta had known pretty girls before coming to PK. Models, idols, the occasional cute peer or upperclassmen. None had measured upto Rifuta herself, but she had acknowledged them. At one point, Rifuta wouldn't have put herself past being the prettiest girl in the entire Japanese Archipelago.
And then she'd come to PK.
Rifuta did not know what otherworldly forces were at work but she simply could not comprehend how the girl had managed to keep off the tabloids and under the radar for all these years.
The girl known as Teruhashi Kokomi was something else entirely. It was like comparing a run-of-the-mill street magician that relied on cheap tricks to the real bonafide magical (or psychic) entity. Like comparing a platypus to a crane.
The girl's visage was utterly beyond comprehension. Just the mere sight tickled an inexplicable urge to sigh dreamily. As though compelled by the divine.
Her looks caught your eye like an Osprey caught fish. Lightning fast, and with a tenacious grip that it would simply not let go. Not even the slippery ones.
And then there was the rest of her. The angelic tone of voice, the tantalizing fragrant smell that no perfume could hope to recreate, the impossibly pleasant aura that washed over you in her presence. It gratified the senses, and tore down your walls. If you were particularly bewitched, you might credit even a brief encounter to all manners of good fortune that befell you thereafter.
If you were around her enough, which you certainly were if you happened to be in the same grade, it just desensitized you to anything 'ordinary' pretty.
…Not that Rifuta would ever consider herself that.
But you get the point.
"-lucky bastard. Man, I'd kill to have Teruhashi-san ever pick up after me like that…"
Speaking of her angel-descended-from-heaven of a senpai, she was, as she frequently was, the talk of the town at the moment.
A round of affirmative 'Hmm's was followed by a, "Well, not to brag or anything, but I still have my Eraser from that time in freshman spring that she picked it up for me. Got it laminated and everything." He sounded quite proud of himself. "You see, I was seated diagonally-"
"We know. We know," another guy interrupted, "Jeez, you've told us a million times. About how bloody lucky you were to end up in the same class as her. Save the story time for your future kids."
The guys snickered at the retort.
"Oh, I'll save it alright." The first guy wasn't done though. "When Teruhashi-san becomes famous in the future, that Eraser'll probably go for a couple tens of thousands online. At least. Not that I'd ever sell it, but suck on that."
"Aw, I want a memento like that too." Another guy cut in. "How much if I buy it off you right now?"
"Yo, Metori rubbing off on you or something?" someone retorted, followed by another round of snickers.
What morons...
Rifuta resisted the urge to sigh.
She thought she had gotten used to it already, hearing some other girl besides herself being so extravagantly fawned over.
And to an extent she had. That was just life.
But, still, she couldn't help but cling on to that teeny tiny feeling that was left over…
Saltiness? That wasn't quite the right word… It wasn't.
Her adoration for her senpai clashed with her own love for attention. It was a messy little thing.
Though, on the bright side, at least it was her own adored senpai stealing the spotlight from her.
It used to only be her senpai. But that was another story.
Loosely minding the pieces of gossip being tossed around, Rifuta thought back to what she'd see a few minutes prior.
She'd just been putting away her stationary when she'd hear a very familiar voice shouting from the courtyard. Naturally, she'd been one of the first to rush to the window. Kokomi-senpai never shouted. And certainly not loud enough for it to be heard from that far.
The rest of the class had soon joined her, and had started wondering aloud about what might have been going on. They'd been too far for anyone to really hear what they were talking about, and for the most part, everyone seemed to think it was just Kokomi-senpai being her usual angelic self and watching out for yet another student.
She knew better.
She knew what her senpai's relationship with the pink-haired boy was, and what the pink-haired boy's relationship with the gyaru was.
(Or at least she thought she did.)
Even if some of the pieces were missing, Rifuta knew enough to cast her verdict.
Her senpai should not be hanging around that guy.
Rifuta did not like Saiki Kusuo. Not one bit.
Him. That dumb blonde. And that spirit-medium something guy always hanging around them. They were the total pervert trio. The complete lust incarnate package.
Rifuta had already heard from the blonde (in explicit detail) about all the lewd things she was always upto with glasses. Up to that point, even if she had had a low opinion of Saiki Kusuo, she'd at least thought of him as harmless. No more.
She wasn't as well acquainted with the third member of their trio as she was with the other two, but if even one-tenth of the rumors flying round school about him were true, she'd never let the boy within smelling distance of herself or her belongings.
God only knew how much perversion they'd subject her senpai's pristine soul to if she left them to their devices.
The pink scumbag's galls to flaunt the lewd blonde in his arms in front of Kokomi-senpai like that…
*Internal Grrr noises*
If Rifuta had any say in the matter, she'd sooner let her senpai handle a cockroach than let her spend a moment in that boy's company. If she never saw the boy ever again in her life, it'd still be too soon.
But, of course, that was only Rifuta's opinion. Despite an ocean's worth of misgivings on her own part, her senpai had feelings for Saiki Kusuo…
What did she even see in the guy? He was just so plain and boring and unpleasant, so uninteresting and unsociable. For someone as bright and lovely as her beloved senpai, it was a match made in hell.
And her senpai could do so much better.
It made Rifuta sick thinking that at one point, she herself had… er, been curious about the pink-haired boy.
Bleh! What even had come over her?
How grateful she was to be over it. She could only pray that her senpai would also come around in time.
On that note, Rifuta raised a brow as she saw her sensei nearly collide with a bunch of students as she made round the corner. Frantically apologizing, the woman took one short second to make sure she hadn't dropped anything before plowing onward. The boys glanced back at her for a moment, before getting back to whatever banal thing they must have been discussing prior-
Despite herself, she felt her eyes instinctively narrow. She recognized these boys.
"-You shouldn't hold it in like that, man. It's not healthy. The exam could wait," the second tallest of the trio spoke in his usual rough baritone.
"I get it, I get it." The short one waved him off. "It's embarrassing. Let's just drop it, okay?"
"Heh-Heh!"
Geh. What a gross laugh.
Imperceptibly, though it was, Rifuta's eyes narrowed even further.
Kuboyashu Aren and Kaidou Shun were both notorious throughout PK in their own right, the former for his reputation as a delinquent, the latter for one as a chuunibyou. And yet somehow Nendou Riki's infamy still managed to eclipse the both of theirs combined.
Always had his fingers shoved into one orifice or another. Picked his nose like his life depended on it. Was always making weird gross faces. Calling him unappealing would be like calling Kokomi-senpai pretty. On the mark, but grossly, grossly underselling the fact.
However, it wasn't his looks that actually bothered Rifuta. It did in part, but relative to herself, almost everyone was ugly by mere comparison. Being somewhat uglier than others wasn't enough of a reason for Rifuta to hold the boy in contempt.
No. She had a far more personal reason for that.
You see, while nowadays everyone and their mother liked to run their mouths about all the ways Rifuta fell short of her beloved senpai, prattle about (in earshot) how many light-years behind her she was in the looks department - even members of her own fanclub - it hadn't always been the case.
Believe it or not, there had once been a time Rifuta had actually commanded some dignity here at PK. She'd yet to encounter Teruhashi Kokomi, and the boys did nothing but sing praises of Rifuta, nevermind bring up another girl in front of her.
It had been none other that the insufferable twit that had burst Rifuta's bubble.
There had never been any buts when it came to describing Rifuta's looks before. She looked gorgeous, the end. Maybe the choice in adjectives were different, but the underlying meaning was always the same - she was dazzling, stunning, smashing, pretty beyond belief.
"-But she's got nothing on Teruhashi-san."
Looking back now, maybe that was the point when things had started to go downhill for Rifuta. All of a sudden, everyone had nothing but buts to say about Rifuta's appearance. Yes, she was pretty, but not as pretty as Teruhashi Kokomi. Yes she was cute, but not as cute as Teruhashi Kokomi. Yes she was angelic, but not as angelic as Teruhashi Kokomi.
…It had been a long road to coming to terms with that fact. Too long, even.
But she had. Eventually.
That was just life. Just part-and-parcel to the blessing that was her wonderful senpai's wonderful company. That's how she'd eventually come to look at it.
What she hadn't come to terms with was the absolute disgrace she had met from Nendou Riki on that day.
Kokomi-senpai, she'd already forgiven long ago. How could she have not?
Even the other boys had at least had some tact, and Rifuta could forgive fools when they sometimes didn't.
Nendou Riki had all the tact of an ostrich trying to lay an egg on your head and Rifuta certainly couldn't forgive the smugness with which he had talked down to her.
While himself looking like that!
*More internal Grrr noises*
Saiki Kusuo was not winning any points from her for his choice of company.
Flicking her twin-tails over her shoulder in an exaggerated motion, Rifuta gave the three a wide berth.
"Chibi's only got book-smarts. I remember to take a dump before the exam starts so I won't have to go in the middle." He tapped his forehead, as if to say, "That's actual smarts."
Rifuta tried not to let her grimace show.
Uncouth twit.
The blue haired one seemed to have at least some sensibility. Reddening, "Where'd that even come from?" he whispered-slash-shouted at the other two. "I just need to go pee, okay? You two, stop making such a big deal out of it! And Nendou, don't talk about gross stuff when we're in public!" he finished, his head looking around nervously, as if worried someone had overheard their talks.
Rifuta obviously pretended that she hadn't. As she had passed them, she had been just a teeny tiny bit miffed that the none of them had even bothered to notice her, but it seemed for the best-
"Ooh, it's that Teruhashi-san wannabe that hangs around Teruhashi-san."
She spoke too soon.
And of course, it had to be Nendou.
"Yoo, whaz ya doing? Need any help?" he said, pointing to the stack in her hand.
"I'll be fine," she said just a little more testily than she had intended, but it went over the boy's head. Shrugging it off, Nendou continued graciously elaborating to the boys his toilet smarts.
Shaking her head, she trod on.
As she turned the corner, she took one final glance back at the courtyard.
Her eyes lingered for a moment at a specific place. Tearing away her gaze, she picked up her pace.
"I hope you're doing alright, senpai..."
A faucet closed outside.
Her reflection stared back at her unflinchingly.
Rosy lips had arced softly into an effulgent smile. A dainty nose had perched above it, framed by expressive cheeks and a beautifully chiseled jawline. The light crinkle of her eyes were as resplendent as the infinite ocean blues of her eyes half-squinting back at her. The exquisite drape of her luxuriant hair reflected colors of the zenith of a glassy night sky.
Teruhashi Kokomi looked utterly perfect.
Almost.
Her smile faltered one moment later.
She felt her posture slacken just a bit as she sighed. Exhaling deeply, then inhaling deeply, she clamped her eyes shut in concentration for just a second before snapping them back onto the delicate pocket mirror held in her hand.
To the uninformed observer, her present expression was entirely indistinguishable from the one from the moment prior. That immaculately crafted smile that could melt the coldest of hearts, waver the deepest loyalties, and enchant the most cynical of minds.
Also known as 'The Angel Beam'.
Except that it wasn't the same smile. The arc of her eyebrows had softened minutely. The crinkles framing her eyes had grown just a touch more relaxed and 'authentic'. The curl of her lips had the most subtle new playfulness to them. A slight calculated tilt of her neck brought out the beam to its full destructive capacity.
Teruhashi Kokomi was presently in the second stall of the 2nd floor's girl's washroom. Stowing away her mirror, she leaned back into her makeshift chair.
...What was she doing?
Resisting the urge to sigh a second time, she dug into her bag. Her dainty fingers emerged a moment later with her trusty memo-book in hand. She might as well get to what she had originally come here to do.
Kokomi, Focus.
Turning the memo-book the right side up, she began flipping through the pages till she found the one she had dog-eared.
A grid was set on one side. 3-5. 3-4. 3-3. It counted down to 3-2. 3-1. 2-5. And so on, going all the way to 1-1. Classroom numbers, surely. Pulling out her pen, she began adding tally marks next to 2-2 and 2-1. Two and three lettered words ran down the next column. Initials, you'd realize if you were somehow privy to the inner machinations of her mind.
Making quick work of the tallies, she began adding entries to the final column. Occasionally she circled one and jumped to the next page.
`-kun was sick yesterday too. Maybe follow up with his upperclassmen at his club? Ref #21B.2-` she idly jotted down.
A few more minutes of jotting later, she finally brought her pen to a halt and tucked it into her breast pocket.
…And resisted another urge to sigh.
Was this... alright? Was it okay for her to be doing this right now?
Her mind flashed to her confrontation with Saiki minutes prior.
…So nonchalant. He was always so nonchalant.
What had he thought of her calling him out like that? In front of the whole school?
Why had he been in such a hurry to get away?
Where had he been going?
What was Aiura-san doing there?
...Squeezing her eyes shut for a second, she tried to rein in her face. She had started to grimace without realizing. Again.
She composed herself over a deep, long breath. She still had business to tend to.
The first-years. Right. It was the main reason she'd sneaked away to the washroom in the first place. She'd finished with the third-years and second-years. The first-years, though, she still hadn't memorized some of their names, and could very much use a refresher before she paid them a visit.
Having reminded herself of her goal, she put away her current memo-book, before digging into her bag for the one that she used for the first-years.
Organized as she was, she found it easily enough. Yet, as she pried it out... a single stray piece of paper fell out from her bag. Surprised, she nonetheless managed to grab it by the corners just before it reached the floor.
Huh. This piece of paper. It looked very familiar. The scented paper that she'd used to write to Saiki. Had she packed spares into her bag, she wondered, as she idly turned it over. She couldn't recall putting any-
Quickly scanning over the text, she felt herself growing frantic by the millisecond.
There was no way... Her letter to Saiki. This was the letter to Saiki. Everything, down to the little wayward squiggles, were exactly the same.
Then... Wait… She hadn't given it to him?
...How? Had it somehow slipped out? When? When she was running in the halls? Or was it when she was handing the manga back to Saiki?
*Aughhhhhh. Aughhhhhhh!*
Teruhashi Kokomi wasn't one to usually panic, but occasionally made exceptions.
*Aughhhhhh!*
She had half a mind to jump out of the stall that very moment, and chase down the boy, wherever he might be, decorum be damned. She squashed the thought as quickly as it came. Of course she wouldn't do that. That was just the panic talking...
Still, what terrible luck!
Things always had a way of going south whenever Saiki-kun was involved, didn't they? She almost felt as if she should have seen this coming. With how much trouble he'd put her through in the past, it would be just too much to ask for things to go without a hitch once, wouldn't it?
It was never that easy.
Never, when it came to Saiki Kusuo.
...Maybe it was the mood because of the end of the semester, maybe it was the thing from before, but she found all of her past frustrations with the boy bubbling to the front of her mind.
The one time she had followed the guys to that terrible Ramen shop… And she couldn't bring herself to eat Ramen again for three months afterward. There was that time with the horrible mall date. She wasn't sure what had been going on with him, but Saiki Kusuo had not been himself that day. And it had not been pleasant. Then there was the whole thing at the clothing store. She had obliged the boys when they'd played dress-up with her in hopes of getting Saiki to recommend her clothes. Only for the boy to ditch at his turn. And of course, she wouldn't forget that one time she'd tried asking him out to an amusement park, only to get mobbed by the rest of the school.
That last one, it almost kind of reminded her of today.
It had been the last day of the semester then too, hadn't it? She had somehow found Saiki-kun dangling off a window...
Despite her previous unease, she found herself almost laughing when she remembered that. That... that had been so strange. The face he'd made when she caught him. And the way he had tried to play it off...
*...Fufu. Fufu!*
It was…
*Fufu!*
It was certainly a moment. She wouldn't know what kind. In the end, she'd never gotten around to asking him what that had been about. Nonetheless, the moment was etched into her. Like a little secret between just the two of them.
She found her anxiety seeping away just a bit.
Almost.
...She'd... failed to ask him out back then too, hadn't she?
Things had worked out in the end, if only because of Kurumi-san. The woman had been so helpful over the phone, and they had somehow gotten the date to work. And though it had been odd in the moment, she could now definitely look back and laugh at the whole Cider-man mess that had unfolded as a result.
...Was she going to have to rely on Kurumi-san again?
Something… Something about that prospect made Kokomi feel a little squeamish.
...Had things really worked out back then?
…Had that really counted as a win?
It was something Kokomi had reflected on in the months that had followed.
Self-doubt was not entirely new to Teruhashi Kokomi. It was nonetheless unfamiliar. Not unlike falling in love.
...Everyone loved Kokomi. Everyone vied for her attention. Even if she asked someone out to watch paint dry off a wall together, they would kill for a chance if it meant her company. That was just how much it was worth. Of course Saiki-kun would have been flattered if he had had a chance to go on a date with her.
Is what she would have thought.
She wasn't so sure anymore.
Saiki-kun was a hard boy to read. Even when the rest of the class was up in fits over some funny joke, Saiki-kun would be that one person who never cracked a smile. Even when the mood was as festive as could be, and everyone was caught up in the magic of the moment, Saiki-kun never wavered. Not once.
…How much of her company had Saiki-kun ever truly enjoyed? Was he really just bad at expressing himself, like she had originally figured?
Or...
He had shown up to their amusement park date with Yuuta, the neighbor's kid.
Why?
Was he just nervous about spending time alone with her? Or did it turn out like that just by chance?
Would he prefer company if she asked him out on a date in the future?
And, most importantly.
Had he really enjoyed himself on that date? Really? At all?
If it hadn't been Kurumi-san who had happened to pick up the phone that day, if it hadn't been through her that Kokomi had conveyed her intentions, would Saiki-kun actually have accepted to go? Would he have wanted to go?
As kind and angelic as she knew the woman to be, Kokomi also knew Saiki dared not go against his mother in her more... forceful moods.
It had worked out in the end, back then...
Or, had it?
Had Saiki-kun enjoyed himself? At all?
What- What would it take for him to enjoy himself? What was a good date for Saiki Kusuo? Manga Cafes? Libraries? Arcades? Maybe, movies? Camping? Counting stars through a Telescope?
...The past her would have scoffed at the idea of a dinner-table date. Hosting a Mangaka? Making someone else the star of her own date? That would have been madness.
And yet, she'd thought it was a good idea.
Had that been the best date idea she could come up with...?
And even it had fallen apart…
She would never admit to it, but there was a part of her that was scared at the prospect of relying on Kurumi-san again.
After all, it would be the same as admitting that nothing had changed.
She'd already failed to ask him out in person. Again.
…After all those years of trying, was that all she had to show for it?
Why- Why had she frozen up today?
Her. Of all people.
In front of him.
Of all people.
It wasn't as if the rest of the school would have overheard her... For all their rapt attention, they had been far enough.
Was it because of Aiura?
Was it because of Saiki?
Or was it something wrong with herself?
...Why couldn't she have asked him out?
Her eyes clamped shut...
She wasn't sure what expression she was making at the moment. But, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to stay inside the stall anymore. Her hands made for the latch with an uncharacteristic urgency.
Cold stainless steel brushed against her fingertips as she was pried the latch off-
"Coward."
A cold jolt ran through her body. Her breath hitched.
For just a fraction of a second, an impossibly ludicrous thought popped into her head.
It vanished just as quickly as it had come, her rational side taking over.
Footsteps. She could hear footsteps. Sandals going tip-tap on the tiled floor, accompanied by that light echo that you get inside a washroom.
Four - no five - pairs of feet, she found herself instinctively counting.
"It doesn't have to be today...," a voice, different from the first one, whined.
Kokomi stayed her hand. Slowly, soundlessly, she found herself settling back onto her seat.
"Maybe he's not even going to practice today?" another voice offered.
"No, no. I know that guy. He's definitely going. Doesn't matter that exams just ended. Baseball freak, that guy."
"Hey!" It was the second voice, the whiny one. "That's mean!"
Out of habit, Kokomi found herself trying to match the voices to names. Second-years? She wondered from the fact of which washroom they were in..
"She has a point though," a new voice interjected, speaking a bit more authoritatively than the rest.
"Chizu," she said, and Kokomi got the impression that Chizu was the one who had been whining. While she mentally ran through all the Chizu's that she knew of, the girl continued.
"I know it's not exactly my business.. but I don't want you to keep hesitating and end up regretting it."
A light rustle sounded outside, and Kokomi guessed the girl was giving Chizu a firm squeeze on the shoulders. "It's Taniyama-senpai's last year. He's only got one more Christmas left here, you know? You have to make the most of it."
"Exactly," another girl followed up. "Keep dilly-dallying and someone else will confess to him before you know it. Or worse... He'll confess to someone else!"
"That..." Chizu trailed off.
Shinozaki Chizu liked Taniyama Hiroto from the baseball club. The girl was from 2-1, if she remembered correctly. And her friends seemed to support her affections.
Kokomi filed the information away for later.
"Even if he doesn't, it's not like you'll be able to see each other much after he graduates..." It was the girl that had called Chizu a coward.
"It might be hard now... but believe me, post graduation will be another monster entirely."
"...That might be, but, but... I..."
She seemed to struggle to find the words, but it was obvious enough that she wasn't keen on confessing.
It'll work out.
Would it?
All you can do is try your best.
Whatever that means.
Better to try and fail, than to wonder what could have been.
Or maybe that was too preachy?
Out of habit, Kokomi found herself imagining what she might say to someone in Chizu's spot if prompted. The world pretty much expected her to always have the right words to say, no matter the person or the situation.
She didn't. But she tried.
Kokomi had seen girls in Chizu's position before. Second year students crushing on third years. The clock counting down on their love.
What could she say? What could she do for them?
"I don't want to confess..." She paused in her ruminations when the girl spoke up again.
"You don't have to force yourself, Chi."
A brief silence.
"But I don't want to regret not confessing even more..."
A sniff.
What sounded like a shake of the head.
The conversation came to a lull. A single pair of footsteps dispersed into the adjacent stall. Then another into the next one. Some towards the faucets. Maybe everyone got the cue to back off a bit. Kokomi imagined the girls were reflecting on their words. They had good intentions, but she herself would probably have taken a gentler approach in their shoes.
...Exams were hectic times. And maybe it was precisely that reprieve from leisure that made people value how they used it that much more. Made them meditate about life and the things they actually needed to do.
Kokomi found something tugging at her heart, her eyes wandering over to the letter she had meant to give to Saiki.
She wasn't sure what to do about it.
…But she sure wasn't just going to sit and do nothing. No way in hell.
As a certain conviction re-ignited within her.
"I forgot to ask, but how did you guys do the second to last problem by the way?" A smart way to divert the conversation. Kokomi approved.
A faucet closed outside.
And she could hear the new talk take over as the girls waited for the last of their numbers to join back. Someone closed the stall door next to hers. And then another one. More faucets opened and closed.
And in a minute they were leaving.
"-Y-you guys!" A girl burst into the washroom, panting and out of breath. "I thought I'd find you here!" There was an odd excitement in her voice.
"What's up, Rii? You look like you just finished a lap around school." Someone from the group replied.
"I-it's the fi-first-", she gasped for breath, "it's the first-years! A fight broke out!"
[Author Notes:
Replying to 11th Beat: Thanks for the review. It really does help. All I can say to your question though, is that you'll just have to read and find out. ]