Chapter Twenty-Two:
…
Crystal was not too thrilled with me. But I promised to tell her everything when I got back and that I wouldn't leave her side for the rest of her trip here. Michael also talked her down by rationally explaining that I needed to do this. I was terrified as we entered Emily and Sam's house. At the same time, I was happy, as I breathed in the familiar scent of their home. It felt comforting, like I was home. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED WE'VE BEEN?" Jared's booming voice yelled as we walked into the house. Kim actually looked a little afraid. She jumped back a little and grabbed my arm. I glanced over at her to see her wide brown eyes looking nervously up at Jared. He instantly calmed down, "Sorry, sorry, sorry" he whispered lightly and slowly moved towards her, she instantly let go of me and went to him. He wrapped his arms around her, "I was just so worried, Kimmy" he said softly and kissed her head, then glared at me. Oh yeah cause I'm the bad influence. "Emily" Sam's firm voice filled my ears and I watched as he studied Emily worriedly. He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. "I'm fine, Sam, I just needed to see Amelia" she said and made her way over to him. His whole body relaxed the minute she grabbed his hands. "She loves Embry, and she wants to see him to tell him" Emily explained, and I blushed when Sam looked at me. "You actually are going to be the death of me, Swan" he said but grinned at me. "Look it's not safe for you in the woods, so you'll just have to wait for him to come back". Bullshit. We don't have time for that. Besides I had practically been waiting all day. "No, I'm done waiting…it's stupid" I told him defiantly. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to say more, but he was interrupted by Quil and Jacob who had just walked in the back door. "No way in HELL you're going into those woods" Quil said glaring at me. "Yeah, Ames, don't get us wrong…we're thrilled you're here and he will be too, but it's not safe" Jake said honestly and Quil added, "Yeah and I can't imagine what he would do if anything happened to you". I huffed defiantly, "Oh please….I am sure he won't let me get that far into the woods anyway, C'mon guys…don't you want me to put him out of his misery?" I argued honestly. Jake and Quil looked at each other unsurely. Ha. I got them now. No way they want him out there feeling horrible any more than I did. "Fine, but we are going with you" Jacob conceded then looked over at Sam for approval. He gave Jake a short nod and I rolled my eyes. "Great, let's go" I said and made way to the backdoor. We silently walked into the woods, we only made it a few yards in when Quil stopped me. "We're far enough, just say your piece" he said firmly. Say my piece? Fuck I hadn't thought this through. What was I going to say? What could I say? Ugh. Winging it. "You're a real idiot, you know that Emb?" I yelled then blanched. Okay not a great start…. "I mean to think that I didn't love you when I've told you so many times, and then to just run off before talking to me…ugh…Communication, Emb!" I yelled Still not great. Quil and Jake were giving me side-eye as I continued my speech, "But I suppose I am not really mad at you, Emb, because the only person to blame for all this is…well me" I admitted as I stared off into the woods. It was weird expressing my feelings to the woods, while Quil and Jacob played babysitter. But hey, weird was my life lately. "It's my fault. My fault for not expressing to you enough about how much I love you, for making you doubt us…I mean how could you not doubt us? Or at least doubt me. I push you away….I pull you close…I push you away…I'm terrible" I sighed. This was depressing. "And you, you are great, you just want me for me, even when I am pushing and pulling" I smiled, "you know…my difficult qualities, you love those as much as my amazing qualities". Quil chuckled dryly next to me, then pretended to cough to cover it up when I glared at him. "Anyway, look, I am here to tell you that I'm done with the push and pull bullshit" I announced to the woods. "No more pushing, only pulling. I don't want to be without you, Embry, I love you". We all stood in silence then. All I could here was the wind moving the trees and the bird chirping. Probably mocking me. We just stood there and waited. And waited. And waited. I felt Jacob grab my shoulder, "C'mon, Ames, let's go back" he said calmy. "Yeah, Ames, he'll find you when he's ready" Quil said softly on my other side and put a hand on my lower back to steer me away from the woods. B-b-but he didn't come back yet. He should have. He should have come out to yell at me for being in the woods. He should have wrapped me in his arms and told me it was okay. My heart clenched and my stomach dropped. Tears prickled in my eyes, but I batted them away. I wasn't going to cry, my pride wouldn't let me. You screwed up, Swan, so bad.
…..
I sat on Sam and Emily's back porch steps, just waiting for him. I felt for stupid. I had never done anything like this for any boy. I was always the one boys were chasing…I didn't do the chasing. I was out of my element. And it was getting cold outside. And these steps were not very comfortable. It didn't matter though because I was beginning to feel numb. There were too many negative thoughts rolling around in my head. You screwed up. He's gone. For good. Damn, Swan, you managed to chase your own soulmate off…congrats. I did my best to breathe through the thoughts as the anxiety they caused made my heart race. I shivered involuntary as the cold breeze seemed to pick up, I wrapped my arms around myself to warm up. I heard the back door open and Quil came out with a blanket. He dropped it carefully onto my shoulders and sat down next to me. "Why don't you wait inside, it's warmer" he suggested calmy and I shook my head. "No thanks, please go away" I said carefully still fighting my anxiety. "Ames…" he began, and I glared at him, shutting him up instantly, "Go. Now, Quil" I said firmly this time. He just nodded and left me alone. I waited. And waited. And waited. It had just gotten dark, and way colder. I tighten the blanket around me to fight the cold when I heard it. I looked up into the woods alarmed. I stood up quickly and made my way slowly to towards the woods. I checked behind me, but no one in the house seemed to notice that I walked away. I made it maybe three steps into the woods when a deep voice called from the trees to the left of me, "What are you doing out in the woods? It's dark and dangerous!" Embry looked frazzled and furious when I finally laid eyes on him. He was yelling at me. He was here. I blinked up at him registering his words slowly. "Ames?" he asked as he got closer to me. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I shivered involuntary as I studied his chest. He reached out and touched my cheek then. I flinched surprised by the warmth of his hand. "Jeez…Amelia! Your freezing!" he scolded and then, just like that I was wrapped in his arms. I buried my head into his chest, and he flinched when my cold face touched his warm skin. "Ames" he muttered into my hair. And then I was crying. I didn't know why. It was just happening. Happy tears. Sad tears. Anxious tears. "Amelia" he said and squeezed me tightly to him. "Oh Ames, it's okay" he promised as I sobbed and gripped him tightly. "N-no…I'm…stupid" I sobbed my words not even making sense to me. Embry kissed my head, "No you're not" he said simply. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to tell him again how much I loved him and correct all my wrongs, but nothing would come out. I couldn't find the words. So, I cried and cried, and cried. To be honest, it felt good, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I cried about finally having closure with Chris, I cried about hurting Jason, I cried about the fucking vampire army coming after us and I cried about loving Embry so much that it hurt. But none of it matter because Embry held me tightly and told me it would be okay. He picked me up and walked away from the woods to the safety of Sam and Emily's back porch, he sat us down on the steps and just held me while I cried. He kept saying it was okay over and over. Sometimes it just made me cry harder because it's what I needed to hear. "I love you" I whispered as my sobs slowed down. "God, Embry, I love you so much…I am so sorry" I said as I squeezed him tightly. He chuckled into my hair and planted a kiss there, "I know, Ames, it's okay, I love you too" he promised calmy. "Even though I am a terrible pawprint…like the worst ever?" I asked smally as my hands traced up and down his bare chest. He groaned, "You are not the worst imprint, please don't think that I was being dumb too, you know" he said gruffly. That reminded me, I was a little upset with him for 'spying' on me and Chris. "If you're referring to the fact that you spied on me, didn't like what you saw, so you ran away, then yes that was dumb" I said carefully and pulled away to look at his face. He looked exhausted. Like he had spent all day running and worrying about you? I brought my hand up to his cheek and traced the bags under his eyes. "You should have waited for me, and I should have told you how I was feeling sooner…it doesn't matter now though, because were here together" I ended my speech with a smile. Embry smiled back at me, "hmmm…so, all's well that ends well?" he asked happiness seeping into his calm tone. "I think so" I whispered as I rested my forehead on his. "I missed you all day…I've been calling, texting, and waiting" I complained with a lighthearted tone and smile. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again" he promised sincerely and gave me a small squeeze, "I missed you too" he added and leaned down to gently kiss my lips. It felt right. His warm lips on mine. Happiness bubbled up in my stomach as my heart did flips of joy. He pulled away and a serious look took over his happy features. Oh what now? "You don't have to tell me, but what happened? I'd like to know" he said as he ran his fingers through my hair. I sighed as my smile turned into frowning. He has a right to know, Ames…I mean he did see you kissing another guy. "Chris and I talked, I sent him away, end of story" I said quickly. Okay…you skipped a lot. Brief summary. Embry raised his eyebrows at me, "Okay, look I know what I saw it wasn't just talking" he said bluntly. I rolled my eyes and groaned, "Oh Emb, I don't know…we talked…it was sad…we kissed…it was sad…I sent him away, the end" I added some details. Embry silently watched me now, he looked….confused? "Why?" he finally asked his voice light and hesitant. "Why what? Why did I kiss him?" I asked confused and avoiding the answer. Because I didn't really know why…I mean it was me and Chris. "No, why did you send him away?" he asked quietly, unsurely. I stared at him blankly, my eyes blinking as I processed his words. I already told you…I love you. "Because I love you, stupid!" I yelled annoyed and swatted at his chest. Real romantic, Ames, real graceful. I watched Embry's face as he processed my words, suddenly he was smiling so widely that it must have hurt his face. I couldn't help but smile back, a giggle escaping my mouth. Everything felt perfect. Everything felt right.
…
The weekend came and went quickly, it wasn't long before we were saying goodbye to our Arizona friends. I was beyond sad to see them go for a number of reasons. The first being that I enjoyed being with them. I'd spent so much time with them…they were my family. The second being that having them here, made everything seem normal. They chased away the fears of the vampire army. Now that they were gone…back to reality. How strange was it that my reality was an army of vampires after my sister? And me. I guess. I mean they were passing around mine and Bella's scent. The thought terrified me. I closed my eyes tightly as if I could scare the thought away. It was Tuesday night….Well….actually it was Wednesday morning…2:47am. I groaned and wondered how long I could go on not getting a full nights rest. End of the week…the vampires will be here this will all be over. I was terrified of the end of the week. I didn't know how this was going to end…I had no idea. The Cullens had trained on Monday night, it was fun watching them. Well…that was when I could see them anyway…They are so fast. During practice it was decided that Edward, Bella, and I would camp out away from battle. Jasper had also informed us that it would be helpful to spread our scent around the battlefield. It would be rather districting. Jasper's southern voice rang in my ears. Bella and I had both agreed to this, we would do anything we could to help them. I knew Bella was worried, she didn't want anyone to get hurt. Neither did I. I hadn't exactly told Embry about the plans for Bella and I to camp out yet…I was more than positive that would lead to fight. I was too tired for that at the moment. I huffed at the thought and glared at the clock. 2:56am. But I would have to face Embry today. The wolves were coming to practice. Carlisle would tell them the plan, while Jasper would share his knowledge on newborns. I rolled over and pressed my face into my pillow, letting out a quiet muffled scream of frustration. This all sucked and I was exhausted, but sleep seemed out of the question. What's the point anyway? Ever since school ended, I had been doing the early shift at the daycare. I normally worked 6:00am to 2:30pm. Some days I would work 6:00am-4:30pm. It just depended on what needed to be done. And if I were being honest…a lot needed to be done. My phone vibrated next to me, and I lifted my head to check the caller ID. Embry. I rolled my eyes, knowing that he must be outside and somehow knew I was awake. I rolled out of bed quietly and looked out my window into the darkness of the backyard. I couldn't see him, but I knew he could see me. I opened my window as quietly as I could, wincing when it made a small squeaking sound. I crawled back into bed and waited for him. In a few short moments, I watched as he gracefully made his way into my bedroom. He stood in front of my window and smiled down at me, "enjoy the show?" he asked teasingly. I rolled my eyes and lifted the covers, "get over here" I demanded, and his smile widen as he crawled into my bed. He wound his arms tightly around me and kiss the top of my head. "I missed you, Amelia" he said simply. I kissed his chest before resting my head comfortable on it. "hmm…I just saw you on Sunday" I said lightly teasing because I had missed him too. "What was that?" he said jokingly, "You missed me too? Thanks, Ames" he added chuckling at his own antics. I couldn't help but grin a little into his chest, where I had buried my face. He was so warm…I felt my eyelids getting heavy. "Are you ready for training tonight?" I mumbled into his chest. I felt him shrug, "Yeah I don't think I need a bunch of vampires telling me how to kill a bunch of vampires though" he explained. Cocky asshole. "But you're going to listen to them because it will help your girlfriend worry less" I demanded firmly. Embry chuckled and kissed my head again, "anything for you, Ames" he teased. But I knew he meant it. I closed my eyes and attempted to doze back off but a nagging voice in my head kept me awake. Tell him about the WHOLE plan. He needs to know. Better he finds out from you then from everyone else. I swallowed nervously, "Hey Embry" I began anxiously and ducked my head as far into his chest as possible, hiding my face. "Yes?" he asked after I didn't continue. I felt myself wanting to back out of this so badly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he found out from the others. "Amelia. You're making me nervous…you're doing that thing you do when you don't want to tell me something" Embry explained trying to sound lighthearted but I heard the anxiety seeping through his voice. "What are you talking about? I don't have a thing!" I whispered loudly at him, sounding offended. Embry chuckled, "Yes you do, you always start with 'hey Embry', then you hide your face into my chest….so what's going on?" he asked seriously. I huffed annoyed that he seemed to know me so well. "Nothing is wrong, I just wanted to let you know the plan for the day of the vamp battle" I explained harshly. Embry's body stiffened beneath mine, "Okay…and the plan is?" he asked hesitantly. "Well….Bella and I are going to spread our scent around the battle field the day before, Jasper said that will drive the newborns crazy" I started and Embry let out a low growl. I swatted his chest, "it's the one thing I can actually help with, don't take that away from me" I said firmly. Embry didn't say anything, so I continued, "Anyway, Bella, Edward and I are going to camp out in the mountains, away from the battle" Embry had gone completely still beneath me. His arms were wrapped stiff and tight around me. "Maybe Sam would let one of you guys sit out with us…just in case anything happens" I added quickly. Embry growled lowly and pushed me away, forcing me to come out of hiding. "Are you out of your mind?" he whispered lowly; his eyes bright with anger. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have added the last part about something happening. I opened my mouth to say something, but he continued talking, "You're not going to be camping out…you're going to stay with Emily, and Kim at Sam and Emily's" he demanded frustratedly. I felt my jaw instantly tighten. I had prepared for him to be upset, but not for him to boss me around. There was nothing I could do at this point to stop my own anger from boiling over. "Excuse me? Since when do you tell me where I can and can't go?" I asked harshly glaring up at him. His eyes soften momentarily, before becoming hard, "No Ames, don't fight me on this…please just do as I ask". I huffed. He didn't ask, he demanded. "Oh, I'm sorry, was that you asking? Sounded more like a demand to me" I said sarcastically. Embry rolled his eyes at my sass, "Amelia. Please I won't be able to focus without knowing your safe…for me…please?" he asked softly, his big brown eyes stared into mine and his hand caressed my cheek. For a moment…a fleeting moment…I almost agreed. Almost. I pushed his hand away gently, "No, Emb, Bella is going to be camping, so that is where I am going to be" I explained firmly in a gentle voice. Embry's jaw tighten and he quickly got out of my bed and began pacing the room, running his hand through his hair. "You are so stubborn, Ames" he said frustratedly. I sighed, "Yes one of my difficult qualities you love so much" I reminded him while giving him a small hopeful smile. He stopped pacing and just stared at me, looking conflicted. "Let it go, Embry, you're not going to win this one" I said honestly, and he sighed then tighten his jaw. "Why Ames? Just…. why can't you do this one thing?" he asked frustratedly. I pursed my lips as my face harden, trying to keep from yelling at him. "I am going to be with Bella, I need to be with Bella. End of discussion" I said firmly through a tight jaw. He looked up at the ceiling as if begging for help, "Of course, you know it's her fault you're in the mess to begin with" he muttered irritability. I froze as his words sank in; my stomach dropped. No one was going to blame my sister for this mess, well except me…and I only did it jokingly. He doesn't get it, I don't even care if it is her fault, I am going to do anything to get her out of it. "Just go, Emb" I finally muttered in response my voice sounding cold and distant as I looked away from him toward at my closet. "What?" he squeezed out surprised. I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it. I refused to look at him, "Leave. This is not a fight you're going to win, and I don't like the way you're talking about my sister, so leave" I demanded coldly. "No" he said firmly, and I listened to the floorboards creek as he moved back towards the bed. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, still staring at my closet, away from him. I hoped if I ignored him, he would just go away. "Amelia…I didn't mean" he said slowly, I huffed and glared up at him then, "Yes you did!" I said angrily, "Your pissed at Bella…I am sure half the pack, no scratch that, most the pack is, but guess what? She didn't ask for this…she didn't want a vampire to go psycho on her…she has no control over that" I was trying to keep my voice down, but I could feel my body fuming with anger. Embry opened his mouth to say more, but I continued on, "And I don't care if you think it's her fault or if anyone else thinks it….even if it was her fault, it doesn't matter because I'm going to do anything to protect her, she's my sister" I ended my speech still glaring at him. He stood in front of the bed, staring down at me, still conflicted. I felt my glare dying down, knowing that he meant well. 'I wouldn't be able to focus without knowing your safe' his deep voice rang in my head. I wanted him to focus, I wanted him to be safe too. "Over protectiveness of my sister? It's another one of my difficult qualities you love so much, remember?" I finally said, my voice softer as my anger diminished. Embry sighed and moved back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around me and leaned against my head broad. I settled into his arms, placing a kiss on his chest before resting my head there to listen to his heartbeat. "I want you safe too, Emb, but I wouldn't ask you to abandon the pack and stay out of the fight" I pointed out carefully. Embry didn't say anything just tighten his arms around me, "I know Ames, but this is different, you're not supposed to be anywhere near the battle…I am" he explained softly, "I won't be near it…I'll be far away with Bella, you won't win this Emb, I mean it" I replied honestly. He let out a long breath and I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I love you, Amelia" he muttered into my hair. I smiled at the sound of his deep voice. "Even my difficult qualities?" I asked hiding my face into his warm chest. He chuckled lightly and I felt his lips at my ear, "especially your difficult qualities" he whispered lowly into my ear, creating a sensation in my body reaching from my head to my toes, making them curl. I let out a shaky breath, "I love you too, Embry, all of your qualities" I muttered softly and began placing kisses up his chest, neck and face, until finally reaching his lips. He closed the small gap between us, his soft lips felt firm on mine. His hand made its way through my blonde hair, grabbing the back of my head to hold me closer to him. I found myself twisted in his lap, so I was straddling him, my arms wrapped around his neck as I pressed myself closer to him. I moaned into the kiss as I felt him nip at my bottom lip. My stomach was knotted with giddiness and excitement. I wanted nothing more than to be closer to him, to feel all his warmth. I pulled way a little so I could roughly pull my t-shirt off. Oh yeah, I thought as the cold hit my nipples hardening them instantly, I'm not wearing a bra. Embry's brown eyes wondered my topless form and I felt something harden beneath me. I couldn't help but grin as I pressed my bare chest to his and grinded my hips onto him. Embry let out a breath moan and I put my finger on my lips, reminding him we had to play quietly. He pushed my hand away from my lips and crashed his lips onto mine. His hands reaching up to cup my breast, I left him pinch one of my nipples and I let out a gasp as the sensation of it reached my toes, making them curl. Oh god. I wanted more. So much more. A familiar feeling of excitement filled the lower half of my body as I continued to grind against him. "Mmmm…Embry…" I mumbled softly against his lips. He let an out a quiet groan and gently pushed me off his lap and onto the bed. "We should probably slow down" he mumbled but leaned down to plant kisses along my neck down to my chest, stopping just at my breast. I was breathing heavily as my heart thumbed loudly against my chest. "All the sexual tension…I might actually combust" I whined quietly. Embry chuckled and gave me a small kiss on the lips, "me too" he promised.
…
The rest of the day was boring and uneventful….well kind of. I spent most of it at the daycare running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I was now standing beside Emmett's obnoxiously large jeep watching the Cullens train for battle. The wolves should be here any minute. I was excited to see Embry in his wolf form. Something he had once said I'd probably never see. The Cullens stopped moving suddenly, each of them coming to stand ways away from the tree line of the woods near the field. The Wolves. I thought as I watched them appear at the trees. They were so big. Easily bigger than most grizzly bears. My eyes wondered their forms in amazement. It was strange how quickly I could pick them out. Sam was all black in lead, Jacob next to him, and of course, Paul, I recognized right away. He was the first wolf I had ever seen turn. It's crazy how long ago that was… and then, my eyes spotted Embry…I just knew it was him. I could tell because he looked displeased to see me here. I rolled my eyes; he probably thinks it's too dangerous. Sam too, was eyeing me carefully, I knew if they were in humans forms, I would be getting a lecture. I didn't care…per usual. "They aren't happy you're here…they think it's dangerous" Edward commented lowly coming to stand by Bella and I. I chuckled, "I can tell" I said honestly with a slight shrug, then stuck my tongue out childishly at them. Edward face palmed himself in reaction to my behavior, while Bella looked confused. "You can tell? How?" she asked curiously. I shrugged, "I don't know…maybe it's all in the eyes". "Ahhemm" Carlisle cleared his throat and looked over at us. I nodded, "shutting up now" I said with a smile. Carlisle looked back over at the wolves, "Thank you all for coming, it means a lot" he began his speech. It was interesting watching them train and interact with the wolves. It was entertaining watching the wolves' reaction to the Cullens fighting each other. I was just happy that everyone was getting along. And then Jasper had to go and layout the plan. "Bella and Amelia are going to spread their scent around the woods of the battlefield, this will drive the newborns crazy with hunger" he said explained seriously, "Then, if two of you would be willing to carry Bella and Amelia to where they will be camping, that would help mask their scent trail" he added looking at each of the wolves. Sam let out a low growl and glared at me. For moment, I was actually terrified…. a fleeting moment though, until my stubbornness broke through, and I crossed my arms over my chest, staring at him defiantly. Bella looked between us worriedly and Edward stood slightly in front of me. I rolled my eyes at their concern, "They agreed to walk you guys to the camp…and to having Seth stay at the camp with us, for extra protection" Edward said calmy, firmly, while he nodded at the wolves in appreciation. Seth let out a small whine and Sam quieted him with one look. I watched in amusement; they were just like giant puppies. Things quieted down after that and Jake in all his furriness wondered up to Bella and I, "You know, Jake, you guys are kinda cute, like big furry puppies" I said happily and reached out to carefully pet his head. His fur was soft, but coarse towards the ends I noticed as I ran my fingers through it. Embry approached us slowly, his eyes trained on me, watching me pet Jacob. I rolled my eyes, "Hey Embry, jealous of the other puppies?" I teased, still smiling. He just shook his head and I realized that he was probably just worried about my safety per usual. "I'm good, Emb, really" I said as he got close enough for me to touch him. I reached out carefully and ran my fingers down the side of his head, he pressed his head into my hand and closed his eyes in contentment. I could help but smile wider, he was adorable. "Seriously, Embry, you are actually adorable" I said giggling a little when he opened his eyes to glare at me. "Oh sorry, I mean you're a vicious, terrifying puppy…yes you are…" I teased in a baby voice. He just shook his head and made some noises in the back of his throat. I am sure he was laughing at me. "Ames" Alice was by my side suddenly, "Let's go" she scrunched her nose up in disgust. "You need a shower…like now" she said looking completely grossed out. I just rolled my eyes, "Bye, Emb, love you" I said so causally, and gave him one more little pat before trudging off with Alice and Bella.