HUNTER - TWO MONTHS LATER
I study Jacob in the moonlight streaming through the window. I don't understand really why he's so against doing anything with me. I mean, I know I'm not good looking or anything but I'm not exactly hideous either. I know he said that I didn't have to do anything for the clothes or food they give me too. I find that I want to do things for him - things that Master and his friends would use me for. One of Master's friends told me I was very good at it - and he was actually rather nice and let me enjoy it too, for a while anyway.
Jacob is certainly handsome enough for both of us. Maybe he doesn't really understand what all I can do for him. I don't know how to tell him how much I want him - want him to have me. An idea grows and, while it would definitely get me punished with the Master, I don't seem to get punished for anything here.
Finally, I make up my mind and lightly run my hand over his chest, caressing him gently. He sighs softly in his sleep. He mumbles my name, making my heart pound all the harder. Lightly, I brush my lips over his, pleased when he puckers them, searching for more. I shake a bit, still unsure about this, but any punishment will very likely be worth it and I return my mouth to his.
After several kisses, I slowly work my way down to his neck and then his chest, where my fingers have not been idle. As I give a soft lick to the stiff nub before me, I slide my hand lower, getting a bit of a thrill at the fact that he's already hard and ready for me. I stroke him lightly for a minute.
"Oh god, Hunter. That's nice." I look up sharply, only to find that he's still asleep, but clearly dreaming of me. Pleased that my actions are giving him pleasant dreams, I return my attention to the hard flesh under my hand.
It's not long before he's panting softly, quiet moans of pleasure escaping his slightly parted lips. I slide my hand under the pants that he insists on wearing to bed. He jerks in my grip, moans getting slightly louder.
"Hunter, you don't have to do this."
Softly, I answer, "But I want to."
He moans again, but I'm ready for it and gently capture his mouth with mine, swallowing the sound. When I release him, he's panting again and, if I'm not mistaken, very close to release. I look him over again, the moonlight and slight sheen of sweat giving him a faint glow. I'm so caught up in the view, I almost miss what he says next. "But I've never done this before - with anyone. I can't -"
"You don't have to."
I kiss him swiftly and a bit more firmly than I mean to. He wakes abruptly, and grabs my wrist to stop me. "Hunter, no!"
He's woken up too late, however, and clenches his mouth shut to stop the cries that clearly he wants to express as his body jerks reflexively as he explodes. Before he can stop me, I lower my head and clean him up out of habit as much as a desire to taste him.
When I go to clean him intimately, however, he stops me, hand firm on my head, before pushing me away from him entirely. "You shouldn't have done that, Hunter."
I realize just how badly I have messed up when he gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. I know that things will go easier for me if I just accept my punishment. I get a belt out of his dresser, strip out of my clothes and move into position at the end of the bed, making sure that he can find the belt easily and not have to search for it.
Jacob comes back in the room, stopping short just inside the doorway. "What the hell are you doing?"
Quietly I answer, "I misbehaved and now I'm waiting for my punishment."
Strangely he sounds horrified when he finally speaks. "Oh, Hunter, kalleimat, no. You aren't going to be punished, but you can't do that. Stand up and get dressed."
"But - "
Running a hand through his hair and looking torn between exasperation and exhaustion, he moves back to the bed before gently pushing me out of position to sit down. "What the hell am I going to do with you."
Shrugging and catching my clothes when they're tossed at me gently, I watch as he shakes his head and puts the belt back in the dresser, muttering softly to himself in his other language as he does. "Sorry."
"Somehow I doubt that." At my confused look he continues with a sigh. "As my fathers would say, I think you're sorry you got caught more than you're sorry you did what you did." Pausing and suddenly looking very stern his next words are as close to an order as I've ever heard him give me. "And that in mind don't ever, ever mention what you did to either of them, as I don't want to have to take you off world to keep them from killing you."
Recalling how his one father had made mention some time ago about our sleeping arrangement being allowed so long as no mating occurred, I give a nod of agreement. "Is that why you don't want me?"
"What?"
"Your fathers wouldn't approve of you mating with me."
"No, I- well they likely wouldn't be thrilled over it, but that's got nothing to do with you. Listen, Hunter it's not about not wanting to be intimate with you-"
My own frustration and upset now very likely matching his, I hear the words tumble out in a rush before I can stop myself. "But it is! You act like you don't want me to do anything for you, but you do! Every time I try you change the subject, or try and distract me, or say no, but I know you want to, I can smell your scent change when I try, and then this morning you were in lust and I tried, but you left and I don't understand why."
"Hunter-wait, what?"
Deciding I'm already in about as much trouble as I can be in and worst case scenario he changes his mind and does beat me, I decide to challenge him fully and have the matter out as truthfully being brushed off by him hurts worse at the moment than any whipping he could very likely give me. Standing and facing off with him- clearly to his surprise if his expression is anything by to go by- I try to appear as imposing as I can, despite his slight bit of height on me, and the fact I'm still rather naked. "This morning when I was getting out of the bath- you tricked me into taking by the way -you were coming back with a towel and you stopped and watched me in the doorway, I could smell you from across the room, you wanted me, but instead of doing anything you wrapped the towel around me and told me to dry off before I got cold, then you left and I KNOW what you went and did after you left because I could smell that too."
"Oh my lord." Face in hand, he again mutters in English for a good few minutes before finally daring to look back up at me. "Okay first of all, me desiring you isn't the issue here. The issue is you taking it upon yourself to try and mate with me while I was asleep and while that might have been okay if we were already mates, it's not okay right now. As for not wanting you, you are clearly well aware that I do, however jumping into a physical relationship is again not something I was raised to do or the type of person I am. I haven't mated with anyone Hunter, male or female and as much as I love you I don't want to rush things in that manner especially when I don't think you understand that you don't have to do that with me to make me care about you."
"But I do understand! I just-" Sighing in defeat I shake my head and back up unhappily.
"You just what? Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I don't know what's wrong. I just know what I want and I know you think I don't, but I do and I don't know how to make you believe me."
"Okay, okay, what is it that you want, kalleimat."
"I don't know how to say it right so you won't get upset."
Jacob takes a deep breath. "I promise I'll try not to get upset. Please tell me."
Once more worried about him getting upset, I start to shake a little as I try to explain. "I know you wouldn't use me or hurt me the way the others did, but it makes me want you all the more. I want you to take me. I want to feel you inside me and make me yours in a way they never could or would."
"How do you mean?"
"I don't know. I know that if we mated, you wouldn't use me for just your relief and you'd let me enjoy it too without punishing me for it. It would be - different." He looks sickened by what I've just said. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like hearing what they did to me, but that's the difference. I didn't want them, I was just a pet doing as I was told. I didn't like them and truthfully I hated a good many of them. But I don't feel like that with you. I care about how you feel and I- I don't know I just know I feel different about you and I know I want you and the thought that you don't want me because you don't feel like I feel hurts."
He's quiet for so long, I'm starting to think that I've well and truly pissed him off and a beating might not be real far in my future after all. He takes a deep breath again. "I understand what you're saying, and I don't want you to be hurt, how I feel about you isn't the issue, but - again - I've never been with anyone like that. Hell, what you just did is more than I've ever done with another person. I have no experience to make it good for you, kalleimat." He sighs. "I'm not angry and I'm not upset, but I do need to think about this. You will not be punished. I am going to go get us some water from the kitchen and I'll be back in a few minutes and we'll talk some more."
He leaves the room and I really don't know what to think here.