JACOB

As I said, I head to the kitchen to get us some water. I'm rather surprised to find the light on in the kitchen. At this hour, I'd assumed that I'd be the only one up and about. Pushing the door open, I see that both my fathers are in here and I can only hope and pray to all the powers that I've cleaned up well enough that they won't know or guess what just happened.

"What are you doing up, son?" Papa asks.

"Dealing with Hunter and we need something to drink." I quickly grab a couple of waters out of the fridge.

"Nightmare?" Daddy asks.

"Not exactly." Before I can think, before I can stop myself, the words are out. "He wants to mate with me."

Kicking myself for my stupidity, I'm not surprised when Papa snaps out, "Not happening."

"No, I know, but I don't know how to make him understand that I'm not rejecting him per se, but the activity."

"Tell him I'll send him to another planet, how's that for making him understand."

"Zedd-"

"No, I think I have been pretty damn tolerant here, Thomas-"

"Threatening to separate us isn't going to solve anything, the feelings and want behind it are still going to be there, except he's going to then be paranoid as hell that if he gets too close he's going to lose me."

Looking thoughtful for a moment, it's actually Daddy that speaks up first this time. "You're right. Look I'm not going to tell you what to do, you're more than an adult by human standards and very close by Pheadosian, so, go ahead." Stunned by his softly spoken statement, my jaw just about hits the floor. "If you want to."

"What now?"

"Thomas-"

"It's what he needs." Exhaling heavily, Daddy looks up at Papa. "Zedd, I've actually been expecting this for a while now."

"But how-"

Daddy interrupts him, still speaking softly. "Mine, all mine." Papa jerks back as if Daddy had punched him in the face. Daddy's hands are shaking slightly. "If, even after all these years, we avoid that phrase because of what happened to me and what happened when you said it, why are you surprised when Hunter needs similar reassurance where Jacob is concerned?"

Papa opens and closes his mouth several times, apparently unable to come up with a counter argument. "It's not the same, Thomas" he answers weakly.

"Close enough." Looking at me seriously, his next question I know is one Papa does not want to hear despite both of them very likely knowing the answer to it. "Do you want to mate with him?"

"That depends, if I say yes are you gonna let Papa kidnap him and lock him up in the dungeon back at the palace?"

"As interesting as that might be, I'd rather not have to stop you from killing my mate."

Keeping my answer guarded, despite being fairly certain Daddy wouldn't allow any harm to come to Hunter by Papa's hand, my response is still clearly not what my dark power holding father wants to hear. "Even if I want to, I have no idea where to start or how to go about it."

"We already had that talk when you were in your twenties, covering both genders, the same as I did with Mara Jane a few years before you, and the same as I did with the twins last year."

"You what now?" Focus briefly taken off of my situation, Papa was apparently unaware of something in his statement.

"They have two older siblings, one of which you have fought very VERY loudly with in the past about courting. Add in Dar and Pina discussing the notion of having a child again, Grace's interest in science, a good portion of which is biology, and Sullivan looking like a younger version of you which does not go unnoticed by many admirers- I mean seriously, are you honestly surprised they started asking questions?"

"Still-"

"It's fine, Zedd. I gave them the same lessons I gave Mara Jane and Jacob, they understood, each one agreed they would come to us if someone propositioned them, and as it stands neither shows any actual interest in even courting yet, so it's fine."

"Well that at least explains why they didn't seem so clueless given Hunter's odd behaviors at times. However the mechanics of it was not what I was referring to. Look, the last thing I want to do is rush this and accidentally hurt him."

"I'm not really suggesting you go back upstairs and do that either. However you need to handle this how you think is best, neither of us can make that decision for you."

"Listen if you really don't wish to harm him then don't do this-" as Daddy opens his mouth to argue, Papa holds up a hand stopping him, before calmly continuing. "What I mean is, you're both still new to each other, you still don't have a grip on your bond by any means, jumping into what I very likely am certain he's requesting could end very badly for you both especially if something happens where he has a flashback because you've accidentally hit on some phrase or action that is a trigger for one. You know where I stand on this, however if you're damn well determined to ignore me, then at the very least do so very carefully and slowly and don't skip steps one through five and jump straight to ten. And before YOU say anything, THAT part isn't the same as what happened with us and you know it."

"Fine, the situation that kicked it off isn't the same. However that could actually work in their favor, where as-aside what happened to your face- our set back worked in ours as it helped me get past some issues."

Listening to them continue to go back and forth, the conversation seeming to turn from myself and Hunter onto their own past, I grab the water I'd come to get and head back upstairs, doubtful they'll really notice my absence as when they get to debating/discussing their history together it usually takes up all of their focus.

I take a deep breath and open the door, unsure what I'll find. Hunter is redressed and curled up against the headboard and, oh god, he looks so unhappy. Before I can say anything, he speaks softly. "Please don't send me away."

"You aren't going anywhere, kalleimat." He looks up at me, doubt and hope both in his eyes. "As I said, you won't be punished for what you did, but you can't just do things like that whenever you want to." I hand him a bottle of water and sit down on the bed, organizing my thoughts as I do. "Okay, let's take this a step at a time."

"What? How?" I almost miss the question as I try and phrase what I have to say the best I can.

"First of all, you've made it more than clear what you want and need from me. You know that I desire you as well. However, as I told you before, I have zero experience and have been raised not to just jump into a physical relationship. You also know that my fathers have been very understanding about us sharing a bed to help you feel safe. Also, throw into all of this that my elder sister hasn't even been allowed to kiss anyone, let alone anything more, and your abuses and I really don't want to rush into anything too quickly." Papa's warning standing out in my mind, not to mention what Daddy said about the use of the one phrase and how he reacted to it, and I definitely don't want to accidentally do anything to damage our fragile potential relationship. I take another deep breath. "That said, both my fathers were in the kitchen when I went for water. Without thinking, I told them what you wanted from me."

He curls up all the tighter. "Are they going to send me away? Or just beat me?"

"Neither." I wait a moment to let this sink in. "Papa is still very much against the idea, but Daddy - gave permission."

Shock covers his face. "What?"

I can smell the lust coming off of him as well as see that he's fairly certain that he's misheard. "But we are still not going to rush into this. Not because of you, but because of me." I swallow hard before I speak again, gently taking his hands as I do. "Kalleimat, no matter how it happened, you have so much more knowledge than me about this sort of thing. While Daddy has talked to me about this stuff, I've never actually done any of it."

"Oh."

"Hunter, I don't want to hurt or scare you."

"You won't."

Before I can think, one of my worst fears pops out of my mouth. "Remember I told you that Daddy was hurt and abused? If someone says or does the wrong thing, he'll still have a flashback - even after all these years later. I don't want to do that to you."

"What's a flashback?"

I flounder for a minute, unsure how to explain it. "It's where you are completely taken over by a memory, so lost in it that you forget that it isn't actually happening at this moment. I haven't seen Daddy have one in a very long time, but I know that he used to have them when I was very young." Seeing he still looks confused, I try again. "A nightmare, but you're still awake."

"Oh. But you wouldn't."

"Not on purpose, no. Papa wouldn't do that to Daddy on purpose either, but it's still happened."

He considers this for a minute. "So what do we do now?"

A glimmer of an idea starts in the corner of my mind, his unsated desire and my own curiosity and want making me speak before I think. "Well, you took care of me. I could maybe do the same for you?"

"You don't have to, Jacob. I'm used to not being allowed to enjoy these things and I didn't do it to you expecting you to do it back. I'm just happy that I could do that for you and you enjoyed it - well, until you woke up."

"Oh, kalleimat, no. That's not how a relationship works. It's give and take. That's a pet's way of thinking and you need to stop that, please."

"I don't know how. I just know that I liked doing that for you, making you feel good like that."

I bite my lip. "Well, maybe I want to do it for you too."

He studies me for a minute. "Maybe you do, but it's making you nervous, isn't it?"

"Only because I've never done it for someone else before" I admit.

"You probably have some idea of what you like. If you want to do this, you could start there, I guess."

Tentatively, I lean forward and kiss him lightly. I'm relieved when he responds enthusiastically. We trade several more before I pull back slightly. "I think you're overdressed."

Gently, I help him out of his nightwear and encourage him to lay back. Lightly, I run my hands over his torso. My hands are trembling slightly due to nerves, but I'm sure he hasn't noticed. Until - "Relax, Jacob. I'm not going to bite you or scream and there's probably very little you can do to hurt me. If you really aren't ready for this, it's okay. I promise I won't be upset."

This alone steels my resolve. I lean over and kiss him firmly and tell myself to calm down and get on with the matter. Carefully, I take him in hand, still unsure about how to do this without possibly setting off a flashback. In short order, fascination with him and his reactions wipe out my uncertainty - particularly when he moans softly.

I continue working him over for several minutes and, unless I'm mistaken, he's fairly close. I whisper, "Come on, Hunter. You know you want to."

His answer comes out on a moan. "Can't."

"Why?"

"Not allowed."

I quickly shove my anger aside at his response and feeling his panic. He must be closer than I thought. I speak in Eltarian and then repeat myself in English. "You are allowed. Whenever you want, kalleimat."

I repeat my reassurances over and over until suddenly he stiffens. Realizing he's there, I swiftly but gently press my mouth over his, muffling his cries as he jerks in my grip. When he's done, he sags back into the mattress, panting heavily. Quickly, I fetch a washcloth, clean him up and redress him before I snuggle back in bed with him. I barely hear his soft, "Thank you, Jacob."

"My pleasure, believe me."