TOMMY - ONE WEEK LATER
Jacob's been avoiding me or glaring at me ever since my drive was over. It was the worst one I've ever had - lasting four days and three nights. Neither Zedd nor I have been walking quite right since - far too many muscles were overused in that timeframe. Everyone except Jacob and Hunter are in the kitchen for breakfast. The other kids have given me some odd looks but otherwise they haven't treated me any different. I've finally processed my memories of that time and I'm fairly certain I know why. If I could only get Jacob to talk to me so that I can explain and remind him that there is no logical thought when I'm in that state, he might quit giving me dirty looks.
The subject of my thoughts comes in the room along with his mate. Again, I've accepted this much more readily than Zedd has, but I think that's largely because I often still think in human terms of age. My eldest son shoots me another glare before shifting Hunter to his other side - farthest away from me. "Jacob-"
"I don't want to hear it" he snarls at me. Hunter sets his hand on Jacob's arm, clearly trying to get the boy to calm down.
"Jacob-" I try again, only to be interrupted once more.
"I said I don't want to hear it! Would you want to listen to me if I was trying to, never mind that it's Papa, fuck your mate?!"
Right there I've had enough. I slam my coffee cup down on the counter, startling everyone in the room, scalding my hand with the coffee and, unfortunately, making Hunter flinch. Before I can curb myself, the words come out. "I WASN'T TRYING TO FUCK HIM! I WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM!"
The shocked and stunned looks from my entire family - except Zedd - only add to the shame I'm already feeling. Zedd sets his hand on my arm in a mirror image of Hunter, also trying to get me to calm down. I take a breath, willing myself to get it together so that I can explain properly. "The Phaedosian drive can take the form of the need to mate, that's true, but it can also come in the form of blood lust. In that state of mind, Hunter's scent was - well, wrong. He didn't smell like my mate or children. He was - in my mind at that moment - a stranger and a weak one. He didn't belong near my family. He hasn't been here long enough for that side to recognize him as belonging. It wasn't anything personal. The smell was just wrong and I was trying to protect my family - nothing more."
Quietly, Sullivan says, "Like a wild animal."
I nod. "Hunter, I'm sorry. Like I said, it's not you personally. I like you, I really do and I think you have come a long way in the last few months. When I'm in that state, things are much more instinctual and a lot less logical. There's no real intelligent thought."
Looking thoughtful, but thankfully not seeming truly offended or fearful over my explanation his responding inquiry takes me by surprise. "So, you have that happen because of what you are, right? Because you're part Phaedosian?"
"Right. Again it doesn't happen often, and I shouldn't have let it happen now, especially with you still being new to the household."
"But it's not really something you let happen, you just said yourself it's just part of your genetics."
"It is, but if I don't let my hormones get too bad, I can usually keep myself in check by this point and it doesn't get so out of my control. However I stupidly let my stubbornness and spiteful streak take priority over the matter this time around. And again I am very, very sorry for the position I put you in because of that, I didn't consider the fact that I might react differently to you and I'm so sorry for that oversight."
"So it got that bad because you didn't mate for so long. And the reason you didn't mate was because you were mad." The blatant statement, making me sigh unhappily, I give a nod of agreement.
"What if you're not mad? And you just didn't mate for some other reason, would it still get out of your control like that?"
"Eventually. As I get older I can go longer spans of time without, however yes, eventually no matter the reason the end result would be the same."
Now looking worried, he glances to Jacob something clearly on his mind. "How long?"
"What?"
"How long can you go between bouts of mating before it gets that bad?"
"I don't know, as I said it's gotten better over the years, however I can promise you don't have to worry about me letting it get to that point again."
"It's not you I'm worried about."
All of us now lost as to what he means, it's only when I see him give another look to Jacob that it dawns on me where his concern now lies.
"It won't be an issue with him." The assurance given before I honestly think about it, I however quickly try and do the math in my head. "He's not an even split of two species like I am, and his Eltarian genetics should be dominant in the matter."
"Fuck." Looking decidedly unhappy now, Zedd runs a hand through his hair, before cursing at length. "Scorpina."
"What?" Now lost myself, I look to my mate curiously.
"Scorpina has about the same percentage as the children do, never mind he seems to favor that part of him over his other genetics like she does."
"Even so she can go years without it striking, hell the last time was when she tried to kill me, and she herself admitted it had been decades since a previous drive hit. Never mind to take a page from your book, he's not yet at an adult age for that species."