Her heartbeat held her focus, as she pushed her way through the crowd that swarmed outside the Widmark Hotel. Entering the lobby, she was confronted by dozens of uniformed officers manning the security checkpoint. If she wanted to get to Bracken relatively unseen, she couldn't afford to be standing around in line. She searched the uniforms until she found a familiar face - officer Hastings.
As she approached the officer, she swallowed the lump in her throat and begged her voice to hold together. "Hey Hastings. I need to talk to someone inside... do you think I could jump the line?" She asked.
Hastings looked around, and Beckett couldn't quite read her expression. She looked hesitant - as if she were about to say no. But after scoping her surroundings, she let Beckett through the velvet rope gate.
"Thanks." Beckett smiled, before striding off.
Her confidence only lasted a few seconds, though. Once she was past the checkpoint, she had to locate Bracken - and in the sea of suits that filled the room, that looked like it may be harder than anticipated. She moved around the room - don't stay in one spot too long - taking in the faces around her.
A flash went off in her peripheral vision - a camera. She turned toward it, scanning the faces in the distance until she saw the one she was looking for. Her stomach dropped - as if she were on a roller coaster - and the sick feeling settled in. She took a breath, swallowed the anger that arose from simply seeing his face, and headed in his direction. She patted her jacket pocket, confirming that the burner phone she had purchased was still there, exactly where she left it. The plan was to remain unseen, drop the burner in his pocket and then, when the opportunity presented itself, she would call the cell and lure him away from the crowd. She couldn't do that while the press were taking their shots - shots that would end up in every newspaper tomorrow morning. So she would have to linger, close by, waiting for the opportune moment. A risk, yes. But she couldn't miss her moment.
What she didn't expect was for the woman standing in front of her to be a reporter.
"Senator Bracken!" The woman called out, gaining his attention.
Time seemed to slow as he turned to face the voice... Beckett knew she didn't have time to duck away - that she would be seen. And she could either be seen fleeing in fear, or standing her ground.
Bracken's eyes drifted from the woman in front of her, noticing Beckett for the first time. She could tell by his expression that he knew exactly who she was. She forced herself to hold eye contact, even when he looked away. She couldn't even bring herself to listen to the words he said, as he answered the reporters question. Instead, she focussed on his eyes, constantly flicking back to her, nervously keeping an eye on her while trying to maintain his professional demeanour. When he finished his reply to the reporter question, he fixed his eyes on hers - almost daring her to cause a scene. Her plan had flown out the window - there was no way she could get any closer without him sounding some sort of alarm... security would have her on the ground in seconds. But she swallowed her panic and donned her best poker face.
She smiled, knowingly. He confidence she was able to feign surprised her. She removed the burner phone from her pocket, holding it just high enough for him to see it, before placing it neatly tucked into the potted plant she just happened to be standing by. Thank God. She looked back at him, noting that he was paying very careful attention to where she had left the phone. When he looked back to her face, she raised her eyebrows - giving her best 'if you know what's good for you, you'll answer that' and walking away.
As soon as she was out of sight, her poker face slipped. She quickly ducked behind a pillar, taking deep breaths and trying to steady her shaking hands. After taking a few seconds to gather herself, she ran upstairs and took cover on the balcony, where she could watch his every move.
He continued to answer questions for a few minutes - but he kept looking back to the potted plant, making sure no one else found the phone. Each sideways glance made Beckett's confidence grow. And as soon as he could, he excused himself and headed over... smoothly grabbing the phone as he glided past, sliding it into his pocket before stopping to shake hands with some of New York's wealthiest.
She dialled the number she had been memorising for the past hour, waiting for him to answer. She could see him excusing himself, and she took a deep breath.
"What do you want?" His voice was low... cautious.
"I just want to talk, Senator." Rage coursed through her veins, but she forced herself to ignore it. "I'm sure you'll be very interested in what I have to say."
"I'm not interested in playing games with you, Ms Beckett."
"If you value your career, you'll excuse yourself and meet me in the kitchen." She could see that she was losing his interest. "You must be very proud of the turn out, this afternoon. So many people gathered here..."
"Fine." He cut off her threat, not willing to take the gamble.
"You have fifteen minutes." She hung up and headed to the kitchen. She didn't need eyes on him anymore... she had his attention now and she knew he needed to know exactly how much she knew.
She took cover in a dark corner of the kitchen, where she could see the only entrance - just in case he sent someone to take care of her. She only had to wait a few minutes before he joined her. As he entered the room, he looked around, unable to see her, and she could tell he was just as nervous as she was. She took a few steps forward, into the dim lighting coming from the adjacent room.
"What is it you want from me, Ms Beckett?" He didn't want to beat around the bush. Good.
"I wasn't interested in playing games, either. But then you killed Smith." She studied his face as she spoke. Any nerves from before were now hidden, making him hard to read.
"Smith?" He asked, innocently.
"Don't insult me." She said, flatly.
"I assure you, I don't know why you would think I killed... your friend." He toyed with her.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested in a confession. I just wanted to clear a few things up."
She had his interest again.
"The information Smith had - the reason... someone... had him killed -" she smiled, the same smile that gave him chills. "I have the file."
Bracken searched for a crack in her armour - looking for any little sign that she was bluffing. She could see he was undecided... and she wasn't going to let him slip away.
"0-8-6-7-2-2-4-1. The number of the bank account that you deposited the money orders. Now I could release that file and destroy you, but what would that mean for my life expectancy? So here's how it is – the deal that you had with Smith, that's our deal now. And if anything happens to me, or anyone that I care about, that file goes public. Am I clear?"
The stoicism in his expression disintegrated before her. She could see the irritation seething behind his eyes.
"That's a yes or no question." She pushed.
"Yes." He conceded.
"Good." She finished the conversation, pushing her way past him. She kept her stride, pushing her way through the crowd and out of the building, not stopping until she reached the safety of her car. Once she locked herself in, she could keep up the charade any more. She gripped the steering wheel - until her knuckles were white - and tried to focus on her breathing.
In... Out... In... Out...
She couldn't hold it in... the emotion escaped her body through waves of sobs.
In... Out...
She wiped the tears, but more kept rushing down her cheeks.
"Please stop." She begged herself, throwing her head back against the seat.
In... Out... In... Out...
Finally, the sobs turned into gentle tears and her body began to relax. She wiped her face with the back of her hands one more time, before putting the key in the ignition and driving home.
She pulled into the free parking space down the road from her apartment building, and turned her car off. Not quite ready to leave the safety bubble of her car, she picked up her phone and began typing out a text message.
It's done... Breakfast tomorrow?
She knew this moment called for more than a casual text... but she couldn't manage a phone call right now. At least he would know she got out of there in one piece. She selected her father's name from her contacts list, and pressed send. She gathered her phone and keys, and headed up to her apartment.
Exiting the elevator once it reached her floor, she was surprised to see someone sitting by her door.
"Castle?" She asked as she approached her apartment.
She surprised him, and he shot into action, pushing himself up into a standing position.
"You're okay." Relief overtook him as he wrapped his arms around her. She couldn't help but hug him back.
"I'm okay..." she whispered against him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his neck.
He pulled away, but only slightly. They made brief, but intense eye contact. She darted her eyes to the floor, but he cupped her face in his hand, demanding her attention. She looked back into his ocean blue eyes - they looked back at her so lovingly. She had put him through hell, and yet here he was. She hated herself for that. She wanted to apologise - but before she had the chance, his lips had found hers.
She instinctively kissed back - how could she not? His presence, alone, was enough to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. His voice calmed her mind and his touch soothed the tension in her body. His warmth was intoxicating, as he pressed his body firmly against hers, pushing her back against the door. His left hand made its way to her hip - his thumb, brushing along the small strip of exposed skin above her jeans.
pulling away from the kiss, he moved his right hand from her face and took the apartment key from her hand and placing it into the lock. He pulled her forward, slightly, before turning the key.
"We can't keep doing this." she finally said, free from the intoxication of him pressed against her.
"Oh, I totally agree." he said as he walked through the door, entering her home. She sighed, knowing that they were not at all on the same page right now, and followed him inside - kicking the door shut behind her.
She had barely shut the door behind her when he pushed her against it, diligently kissing her and allowing his hands to roam her body. And again, despite her better judgement, she allowed it... encouraged it. She grabbed at his shirt, pulling him impossibly close. Her mind was begging her to stop herself... but her body had a mind of it's own right now - and it was begging her to keep going. Castle removed his lips from hers and began working his way down her neck, paying careful attention to the most sensitive spots where her neck met her shoulders.
"This is..." she closed her eyes, savouring the way his breath tickled her skin. "This is a bad idea..." she was losing focus, fast. She needed to stop this, before they went too far.
He kissed up her neck and along her jawline, before gently nibbling on her earlobe. "I love you." he whispered, deep and breathy against her.
"I'm bad for you, Castle." she had to fight every nerve in her body that had been set alight by his touch and his words.
He pulled away from her, looking at her dubiously. "What, are you going to corrupt me?" he laughed.
She sighed, frustrated that he wasn't taking her seriously. She had thought she had cut this cord between them - that he was safe from her now... but apparently not.
"No, Castle... I'm going to hurt you." she said, deflated. She released herself from his grip and started to walk away, but he placed his arm across her stomach and wrapped himself around her from behind.
"Did you ever think that, maybe... just maybe, if you stopped convincing yourself that you were destined to hurt me... you might stop hurting me?" he placed more gentle kisses on her neck, while she thought about his words.
"It's not that easy."
"I never said it was easy." he stopped kissing her and moved so that he was standing in front of her, facing her again. "I know you were just wanting to protect me from Bracken..."
"No." she shook her head. "This isn't over, Castle. They went after Smith to get that file back... All I've done is by myself some time to find the evidence I need."
"I can help you. You don't have to do this alone."
"It's not just that... it's me, Castle. I've been shutting people out my whole life... that isn't something I can just stop overnight. I've told you this."
He could see the emotions swelling in her eyes. Carefully placing his hands on her hips, he pulled her closer to him.
"I know that..." he started, slowly. "That's why I am here. Doing this properly - remember?" he thought back to their dinner, just days after their fallout in the Hamptons. So much had happened in the short amount of time since then.
She rested her arms along his... her body giving in to his touch again. She reflected on his words... he was right - every time she had pushed him away, it was to protect him from being hurt, ultimately hurting him more than ever. Where's the logic in that? And despite her actions, despite her words... despite knowing that this was more than likely going to happen again - here he was, ready to work through it with her.
He was either stupid... or exactly what she needed in order to become the person she had so desperately been trying to become. The person who could be exactly what he needed, too.
He leant forward, gently kissing her lips, hoping to inspire a response - any response - from her. Her silence had been unnerving - he didn't want her to talk herself out of this, any more than she already had. But she didn't kiss him back - not this time. Instead, she rested her forehead against his.
"I'm sorry." she closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself.
"I love you, Kate. And I know you love me too. But if you want me to leave..." he hesitated - hoping, praying, begging for her to stop him. "I'll go." he finished, regretfully.
They stood together, leaning on each other for support, for a few moments - taking in each other... each touch, each breath - savouring it all.
She took a final, shaky breath, wishing they could stay in each others arms forever. "Please don't leave..."
And they lived happily ever after...
The End.
Thank you to everyone who stuck with this! I wish I was better at endings... but I had to wind it up or I'd just keep going on and on forever!