"How's Endeavor doing?" Hawks asked over the phone with Natsuo. Both he and Dabi were in the bath with the phone on speaker. "He found out about Dabi and all, what's he like?"

"Pissy about it. Everytime I come back for something - I keep forgetting shit to bring to the dorms - he's always looking sour. Asking where I've been. I say 'none of your business' and he has a near aneurysm," he said in a joking voice. Dabi cackled at it, chest vibrating behind Hawks.

"How's Fuyumi doing? Is she okay about it?" the villain asked. He sounded a bit nervous about it.

"She's ecstatic. I think she's trying to knit you stuff since it's gonna get colder soon and she worries about the cold on your burn scars." Hawks looked back at Dabi, who had a small, shy smile on. "Doesn't seem upset about the villain stuff, I think she's done well to ignore it. Better than me, I'm curious about that shit."

"It's a secret," Dabi said. "Just know stuff will be different."

"I'm not gonna ask, kinda don't want to know, really. Are you sure you'll never tell Shoto?"

"He'll find out eventually, just not in the personal and domestic way Fuyumi has," Dabi said, not concerned that Natsuo or Fuyumi would blab to anybody, even their little brother. Dabi would sooner tell Rei than Shoto. Hawks had been told Dabi wanted Rei to know he was sorry for the way he treated her in the end, before things went to shit.

However that happened, it would occur in the next month, as Shigaraki was getting out of his painful experiment/transformation in less than a week. The core members were nervous to see how he was in the end, what changed. Hawks liked to think he was a core member, too, with how he was included in meetings now and had given them a bounty of information by linking them to the website he suggested be made.

When they were in the bath, Hawks got a surprise call from Endeavor. "Gotta go, Natsu, Shithead himself is calling," Dabi said.

"Oh, okay. Uh, keep me posted?"

"Sure thing."

Hawks told his phone to accept the call after Dabi promised to stay quiet. "Endeavor-san." He kept the pleasantries on just for show, to show he could still be civil.

"Hawks. I wanted to ask how you're doing. We haven't spoken in a while."

"Well, can you blame me for not wanting to talk to you after our last meeting?" Hawks replied.

"No, I suppose I can't. I just wanted to check on you as my coworker, not as Dabi's soulmate."

"I'm… doing alright. Some of the medications have been a bust, still trying to find one that works well. Saphris was a nightmare, so that's out the window. Dabi's been there for me, so you shouldn't worry too much. Hasn't affected work enough to be worrisome or dangerous for anybody," he explained openly, finding no reason not to be honest about things Endeavor was already aware of and involved in.

Dabi was a jackass and started to run his hands up Hawks' legs and then higher until he moved his hands right around his dick and up his stomach and chest. Hawks sent a feather at him to smack his head, making him give a low chuckle. Not loud enough for Endeavor to hear, as the phone was on the counter, and the false hero needed to speak loudly enough to be heard.

"Was that all you called for?"

"Well, no. I wanted to know how Natsuo is doing?"

"He's fine. I already told you you don't need to worry, didn't I?" Hawks said, working to not sound annoyed.

"I just- it's eating me up inside thinking that Dabi could be Touya. Do you have proof he is not?" Dabi turned sour behind him and the water heated up. Not enough to hurt Hawks, never would he lose control and hurt him.

"I think it would be easier asking for proof that he's not, Endeavor-san. And honestly, if he was, I would not tell you unless he wanted me to. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but you need to let go of thinking my soulmate, that Dabi, is Touya. I know you've already said you'd rather him be alive and a villain, but Dabi is not Touya and I honestly have no idea how to get that through your head." Hawks' voice was a little more annoyed by now. "Your son is dead, and if he's not, then I don't know where he is and what he's doing. If he didn't come back to you and your family, he obviously would have a good reason."

His voice was very firm and no-nonsense. The water slowly cooled down, and Dabi relaxed against him, adjusting himself to hug him a bit closer, burying his face in his neck. The false hero honesty didn't know what to expect of Endeavor.

"I suppose I shouldn't have asked a traitor such a personal question." Hawks rolled his eyes.

"And I suppose I shouldn't have entertained any topic about a child you abused."

"Burn," Dabi whispered.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Don't speak of things you don't know."

"Thank you for your concern about my mental health, Endeavor. I appreciate it. I would appreciate it also if you did not bring up the topic of Dabi again, as I will not hate him and you will not come to like him."

"Very well. Goodbye."

"Have a good evening." And the call was over. "Ughhhhhh," Hawks groaned.

"You handled that very well, Pretty Bird. I'm impressed," Dabi said.

Hawks made to stand up, careful of Dabi's staples, always careful. "Enough talking, let's fuck."

"Oh, I'll be very happy to do that," Dabi said, standing up behind him and scooping him up. He heat dried both of them, Hawks using a feather to bring the lube out with them.

-x-

"Rumi!" Hawks shouted, seeing her laying in the street, covered in blood. He ran forward, getting attention from others before he moved to scoop her up, too fast for his own good. When his hands went right through her as she looked at him with a melted face, he went cold and clammy with horror.

Then a truk that couldn't stop came and smashed into his side, shocked into being still, unable to dodge as Rumi melted in front of him.

When he woke up, he was in the hospital. He could tell he had a broken leg, as it was being held up and his wings were in the corner. He couldn't see out of one eye and lifted a bruised arm to find he had bandages on that side of his head. "Hawks, hey," a soft voice said, and he looked to the side he couldn't see out of to see Rumi there.

He reached out a hand and she took his arm. "Long time no see, we haven't hung out in ages," she said.

"Hmmm," Hawks nodded minutely, so tired and sore.

"Got some questions for you," she said. "I know you've been off with Dabi." His eyes widened. "I saw you two, but didn't say anything since you seemed so happy."

"Wh-When?"

"Two months ago. You were both in line at Starbucks. Hawks, why did bystanders say you called my name and then went into the middle of the street?"

"I got sick, Rumi. Got sick in the head," he said, holding her hand. "'M sorry I haven't seen you."

"Did you feel guilty?" She didn't know just how guilty, and all the reasons why. But he nodded. She ran a hand through his hair gently, and it felt nice. "What do you mean, sick in the head?" she asked, her voice soft and kind, so contrasting to how loud and vocal she was in work and just in general.

He said he had a mental illness, and was seeing people that werent there.

"Why haven't you gotten help?" she asked, sounding sad. Not judgemental or angry.

"I can't. 'M a hero, a public figure." And he couldn't drag down the League like that. He didn't want to be a burden, to be left behind. They dealt with their own issues, he could deal with his. He had to, he couldn't just be in a mental hospital for weeks. He wouldn't.

"Your health matters more than your job, Hawks," the bunny hero said firmly. "Besides, you've been less and less public lately. It's a good transition for you to get some help." Hawks shook his head. Rumi sighed. Her phone rang, and he was surprised when she answered and it was Dabi. "Yes, he's awake. I'll open the window."

Hawks looked surprised, though still tired and a bit distant. "You know, he's weirdly polite. He really cares about you. Though you are soulmates." She went and opened the side window. It was night time and Dabi climbed in, the second floor, so not too high. He had a small smile of relief when he saw his lover. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Thank you, Miruko," Dabi said, not looking away from Hawks, sitting down in the seat she'd previously occupied. He looked over Hawks with such a sad look, and took his hand.

"I'm sorry," Hawks said in shame. Dabi leaned forward and cupped his cheeks.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone talked, we're gonna postpone our trip to the beach to get you better." Hawks was so ashamed. His face turned red. He knew he was saying their trip to the beach so nobody heard they were planning the downfall. He didn't know about Shigaraki, he'd be pissed and Hawks would be kicked out.

"I won't get to see you if I go to a hospital," Hawks said quietly.

"We can talk on the phone." But Dabi looked upset too. His eyes couldn't hide it, he was very upset and didn't want to say goodbye to Hawks for a long period of time. But he seemed to know Hawks needed the reassurance more. He was the one to have an episode, to get hit by a car because of it. To have his friend, another person - an outsider- know he was sick in the head.

Hawks tried to stay awake, but his whole body hurt, he ached and his leg was still numb. Recovery would be long, his leg was shattered, he could tell. Shigaraki would wake any day, and Hawks was immobile and helpless. "Sleep, Birdie," Dabi soothed. The younger one couldn't help it, and fell asleep.

When he woke up, Dabi was gone, and he was being checked on by a nurse. "How do you feel, Hawks-san?"

"Tired," he said. "Sore everywhere."

"How does your leg feel? Is it numb, still?" He nodded. "Good. A healer has come to try and alleviate some of the pain. The number two hero can't be bedridden for too long." He didn't want her help, but didn't want to be in the hospital either. He accepted it, and a small boy came in. He pressed his hand to Hawks' head, the palm flat against his forehead.

The pain in his leg flared and he grit his teeth as the bone reformed and grinded into place. His gums bled at how hard he was biting. If the Commission was still around, they'd have punished him for damaging his teeth in any way. His smile was important, after all. A smile was what eased the people. That was his duty. Not anymore.

"You'll still be in pain for another two days, but the bone should be healed. The rest of your leg needs to heal the damaged tissue and muscles," the boy said. The HPSC would have snatched him up in an instant.

Hawks gave a shaky smile. "Thank you, kiddo."

"I'm 26," the child - adult - said.

"Thank you, adult man." The guy quirked a smile. He wished Hawks good health, and left. The nurse took his temperature, and unwrapped the bandages to make sure he wasn't infected in any of the cuts and bruises. It seemed only the worst of his injuries healed, his leg and head. His thoughts were clear and his mind unfogging. But all the cuts and bruises remained.

He never scarred, though. He naturally just never retained wounds. Lucky for the Commission. No, they were gone, Dabi saved him. Why was he thinking about them so much? He was a failure in every sense of the word. Such a useless bird. A good quirk didn't make him a good person or even a good hero.

He wasn't either, not anymore, maybe not ever. All around him dead bodies started to rise. He shut his eyes tight and put his hands over his ears, but the voices in his head were not exterior, he could not shut them out by blocking his sense of sound. "Hawks-san? Are you alright?"

"S-sedate me," he said. "Sedate me, please!" She hurried out and came back in with a man ths time in a white coat. The winged man was thankful when he was indeed sedated. When he woke up, someone else was there. A kind looking woman with blue hair and fox ears. She was nice to look at. Not in the way Dabi was, but she just seemed like a comforting presence.

She saw he was awake and asked, "How are you feeling, Hawks?" He was glad there was no honorifics. He didn't feel he deserved one, not when he was a complete and utter failure. Got hit by a car, pathetic. How could the fastest hero, who could fucking fly, get hit by a damn car? It was so shameful, embarrassing. "Hawks?"

"Feel okay."

"Will you be honest with me? About your mental health? I'd like to help, and you seemed to want help. I'm a psychiatrist and therapist. This hospital has a psych ward I can admit you to if you are comfortable with that."

"This place has one? I wouldn't have to go to an asylum?"

"No, you could be here, the doctor said you should be healed enough to leave the room in two days. Even now we can start to try and treat your mind. Oh, my name is Tatami, I'm sorry I didn't say earlier," Tatami said.

"I'm Hawks."

"It's nice to meet you, Hawks," she said. It was stupid of him to say that, she already said his name and of course knew him. Dumbass. "Will you accept treatment?"

"I- yeah."

"Will you be open with me? The doctor said that you had medication in your system. So do you know about any issues? Have you gotten help for them in any way?" Hawks didn't know what to answer first, but settled with the main question.

He knew he had issues. "I haven't gotten help, I've been picking meds from a basket of free bottles, trying to find one that works."

"Do you know what is wrong?"

"I'm seeing things, hearing things. I don't think it's schizophrenia, but I don't know what it is," he said.

"What are you seeing?" He tried to adjust his position, but was still very sore. He was still hooked up to pain medication, but could tell himself that they werent too heavy. He reached to the side table and took a long drink of water. When his stomach rumbled, Tatami pressed the nurses' button. To bring Hawks some food. He was grateful, as he was quite hungry.

After he had some yogurt, the talk continued. He was more than happy to try and fix himself as soon and as fast as possible, so he wouldn't stall it. "Dead bodies. Usually burnt corpses. They tell me discouraging things. That I'm not enough, and that someday I'll get everyone killed."

Tatami was writing down what he said. "Do you know what caused it?" Hawks lied, of course.

"All of the people I've failed to save," he said in a raspy voice. Maybe that was part of it, but he knew his killings were a big part as well. But of course he could never say that. "I want to get better so I can live normally."

"Well, having real doctors help find you a medication that works will be much more reliable and successful than self medicating. You've done well to try, but it was not the best choice. Though it doesn't matter now, you're getting the help you need. That's what matters most. You'll get the help you need, Hawks. I promise."

He let out a small smile, and nodded.

-x-Six Weeks Later-x-

Hawks walked out of the hospital to find Rumi and Dabi there, waiting for him. Dabi was holding a bouquet of flowers, and it looked so sweet. Rumi hurried forward and hugged him first as Dabi walked over slowly, eyes looking him up and down, trying to search if he was really alright. The time in the hospital had done Hawks good.

He got counseling for his issues, even if he avoided some of the main ones. Since the Commission was not around to punish him for speaking the truth anymore, he could be open over the way he was raised. Then all his failures over the years, and how he was forced to ignore them, to move on.

All the dirty work he'd been forced to do under the hero government agency. Everything but his descent to the dark was talked about openly, Hawks wanting help. He was on medications, the right kind. And it was an easy kind to get, so that was great. Some depression pills, an antipsychotic and one type to counter the effects of the other medications.

Rumi pulled away and Dabi hugged him, kissing him with the flowers between them. Hawks wrapped his arms around his back, and then when they pulled away, hugged him close, face in his chest. "I missed you so much," Hawks said. "I'm sorry I was gone so long."

"I missed you, too. We all did. You have a little party waiting at home, just to warn you. It was supposed to be a surprise, so don't tell them I ruined it," Dabi said. Rumi said she'd pretend not to know anything, even if she looked uncomfortable about it.

"I hope I don't see you again outside of being with Hawks," she said to Dabi, but they shook hands in a civil way, and she left, giving Hawks one last hug. "Keep in touch, okay?" Hawks nodded with a smile.

Who drove up to them was Natsuo. He'd learned to drive, then. Dabi and Hawks got into the car, and drove to Hawks' apartment. Hawks wondered who was there, but was shocked when he arrived and saw it was Toga, Spinner, Twice and Compress. "How'd you get in?" he asked, grinning as Toga hugged him.

It looked as if Natsuo knew them already as he wasn't uncomfortable sitting on the couch and watching the reunion. The false hero, who was on a long sabbatical, hugged Twice, too. "I put on a disguise and entered with them in some marbles," he explained. "Natsuo-kun was kind enough to let me inside. Quite the polite man."

"You're Dabi's and Hawks' friends. And since you were in disguise with them in marbles, of course I had no idea who you were!"

"Don't worry, you didn't aid them in any crimes," Hawks said with a smile. "You won't go to jail or anything."

After a bit of catching up with them in a shallow way, Natsuo explaining about school, Dabi explaining about not living in the apartment, with the public wondering where on earth Hawks' soulmate had gone off to, Natsuo left since he had an online test he needed to take. Hawks gave him another hug in thanks.

"Dabi really missed you."

"I wont leave him again." The now 20 year old left, and Hawks went back to the couch. "What really happened? I'm curious why everything isn't fucked."

"You sure you wanna hear, Birdie?" Dabi asked, sitting beside Hawks with his arm around his shoulders.

"I'm better now. I haven't had an episode in three weeks, and I've been having my own testing sessions where I imagine what will happen when it happens. I'll be fine," he assured them.

"Shigaraki already woke up," Spinner said, making Hawks' bushy eyebrows raise. "He waited for you to get better." Hawks was a bit confused.

"We begged and he learned everything you did to help us!" Toga said brightly. "Tomura can be really understanding when he isn't angry! And he got lots of video games to keep him busy," she said, twirling a knife in her fingers she'd kept out of view for the civilian's sake. None of them wanted him in trouble for assisting them.

Hawks felt happy, felt truly accepted. "Plus, it gave him time to adjust to the quirk's effects," Spinner added. "It was better than going crazy right out the door." Dabi kissed his head.

"Now that you're better, shit will hit the fan soon, are you ready for that?"

"Being away from being a hero for six weeks helped me, I think. A good adjustment. Me disappearing won't be that jarring to the public if I've been gone for so long," he said with a smile.

"Miruko will be suspicious."

"I'll text that we're going on vacation," Hawks said, glad the last time he saw her was a good one. "It looks like you both got along well."

"We haven't talked in weeks, so not much time to hate one another," Dabi said with a light shrug. Hawks laid his head against his shoulder. His phone rang, and he looked at the caller ID to see it was Endeavor. He turned the phone on silent and set it on its face. Spinner looked around and shouted, "IS THAT MY PS4?!" furiously.

"No," Dabi said awkwardly.

"You fucking asshole!"

"I was bored, okay?! And you got a new one anyways!" Dabi shouted back.

"You stole all my information! I had a shit ton of progress on those games!" And they got in an argument, Hawks being yelled at after he laughed. Spinner declared he was taking it back, and got a reusable shopping bag and put it inside, gentle with it despite his anger. It was kind of funny.

After the party, Hawks took the League's core members in the marbles and flew them to the HQ, ready to meet Shigaraki and awkwardly apologize for wasting six weeks. When they got there, Compress released them, and Dabi threw up in the bushes. Hawks rubbed his back. "Sorry, babe. Easiest way out," he soothed.

"I know," the villain said, face a bit green. He had a little bottle of fluoride with him for car trips, with Natsuo having driven slowly and carefully to accommodate his motion sickness, and gargled it before spitting it in the bush. Now his breath didn't stink.

Spinner flipped them off and brought his game station inside. Hawks saw Shigaraki there, his hair a lighter, longer white. Hadn't gotten it cut in who knows how long. Though Dabi's hair wasn't any longer than before, and lighter. He'd had it cut and redyed in the last six weeks. God, six weeks of being missing. What had happened during that time, really? He had no real idea, had no time to ask, to get in a deep conversation with his lover.

"Hawks, welcome back, we can do shit now," Shigaraki said. He turned and they walked inside. "I heard you got this place and the information."

"And assisted in getting you outta the fire!" Twice said proudly. The villain leader looked annoyed with that bit of information.

"I guess I trust you now to be one of us. Dabi also burnt down the HPSC with you while I was gone," the younger man said, sitting on the couch. "I'll get right to business. I have a mission for you." Dabi looked like he already knew what it was. "I want you to break Kurogiri out of Tartarus."

Hawks blinked a few times. "Uh, I don't think my quirk is suited for that," he said honestly.

"You're probably the smartest tactical member out of all of us. Use your years of training to do that." Hawks put a hand to his chin, and sat down on the lounge chair he always sat in. It was just as comfortable as before. They had not been discovered while he was gone, thank god.

"Well… I don't really know the layout very well, but I could get it from the hero website if I get the right places. Cutting the power would be useless, as they would no doubt have a backup generator. I could disguise my feathers by wrapping something around it. Why Kurogiri?"

"He's one of us. We want him out," Toga said, messing with her hair. She sat beside Dabi, who sighed in annoyance and fixed her bun with his big brother instincts. So cute.

"If I get caught I'm fucked. I can't plead crazy anymore," he stated.

"If you get caught we save you and ditch," Dabi said. Hawks raised his brows. "I already told them you come before anybody else," he said with a shrug. Shigaraki rolled his eyes in annoyance, and Hawks gave a small smile and blush. He nodded.

"I'll try. I might fail, but I'll try."

"Get on that."

"Let's have some drinks," Dabi said, and went into the kitchen and came back with whisky. Hawks flushed. "What's up?"

"The medication isn't good with alcohol. I can't drink anymore." He sounded ashamed, and was embarrassed.

"Oh, okay," Dabi said, putting the booze away and coming back, squishing himself beside him on the lounge chair. "I'll just drink when you're not around, no biggie. Let's get on the breakout mission, huh?" Hawks nodded.