A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! We're nearing the end, just a couple more chapters after this one!

Chapter 20

He didn't know how long it had been but he could still feel her presence inside his mind, calm and patient just waiting for him to give her the chance to show him...whatever it is she wanted to show him. It could be a trick but Manticore had never been known for it's patience. After an eternity he got up and unlocked the door, stepping out into the corridor and meeting her hopeful gaze as she slowly stood up.

"I'm hoping you'll let me show you who you are," she told him softly. "You would be coming into my head, we wouldn't be messing with yours at all," she assured him.

"How?" he asked skeptically.

She held out her hands. "Just take my hands and keep eye contact. I'll do the rest."

Alec hesitated for a long moment before he stepped forward and took her hands, his eyes hazel eyes locked on soft grey and within a few seconds he felt a strange swirling sensation as he suddenly left his grey corridor and entered a new place. It was a kitchen and something about it tugged at him, like he should know where he was.

"This is my safe place. Safest I've ever felt is here, in this kitchen. In this city. You gave me that," she told him as she walked over to a large walk-in cooler and opened the door.

He followed her and looked through the doorway and into a small apartment. He watched as the memory 963 opened the door and Alec saw himself on the other side. He was smirking and holding up a couple beers and a bag of chips. "Got some contraband," he heard himself say as he entered the apartment.

"Thank you," 963 said gratefully as she accepted one of the beers and motioned for Alec to sit on the couch with her.

Alec waved away her gratitude and reached for the remote. "Got any movies?" he asked with a grin.

Leeana ducked her head as she grinned and pointed to a small shelf on the side of the tv that had a few pre-pulse movies that she'd scavenged. "Transformers," he read out as he picked one. "Sure, why not?" he shrugged as he popped it in the player.

Curiosity got the better of Leeana and she spoke up as the previews came on. "Why do you hang out with me?" she blurted out.

Alec raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her. "You're not terrible company, Red," he replied, using the nickname he'd dubbed her with a few months earlier after he'd caught her blushing one time too many.

"After everything I've done…" she trailed off, not entirely sure why she was pushing this. He'd been more kind to her than she could have ever imagined when she'd literally run into him months ago after just arriving in the city. He was actually kind of a...friend. She'd never had one before. She had feelings for him, more than friendly but she knew that they were never destined to be anything other than what they were in this moment.

"Listen Leeana, We all did things we wish we hadn't while we were in Manticore. I've done things I will never be able to forgive myself for to people that I cared about. You have it harder here because you were doing it to us but all of us have blood on our hands and things we wish we could undo. Terminal City...this is our second chance to make our own decisions," he told her kindly and she felt her eyes fill with tears at his acceptance of her. He shot her one last smile before turning his attention to the movie that was just beginning. She smiled wide and followed suit.

Alec felt a shift in him as he watched the scene play out. It seemed so...familiar but he couldn't place any of it.

Leanna was watching him and gently pulled on his hand as she led him to the door that memory Alec had entered and when they stepped through they were back in the apartment but it was slightly changed and memory Leanna was the only occupant. She stood at the window watching something play out below.

Alec stepped up and looked down, he saw himself again this time with a beautiful, olive skinned brunette who was laughing at something he'd said as he was making wild motions with his hands. He watched as the brunette reached up and pulled his other self down for a kiss. He glanced over at memory Leeana and saw a sad smile play out on her lips as she watched the happy couple below.

"That's Max," his Leanna spoke up from her place beside the front door, she hadn't moved up to the window with him. "She's your...everything." she told him.

Alec shook his head. "I don't remember her. I don't remember any of this."

Leanna nodded. "You made yourself forget to protect her. To protect all of us. I'm here to try to bring you back. Back to Max, back to Terminal City. We still need you Alec," she told him, desperate for him to believe her, to want to remember.

"I have one more memory to show you," she said after he'd remained silent after her plea. She opened the door to the bedroom and walked over the threshold, she felt Alec follow behind her before he halted in surprise. This time he was in the sterile room of an infirmary room looking down on himself laying in a bed surrounded by people. He recognized Max from the last memory, she was sat down next to him holding his hand and looking desperately at the memory Leeana.

Leeana looked disappointed as she shook her head, looking at Max. "He recognized me but he isn't...him. He didn't remember my name, only my designation," she told them sadly.

"Why?" a guy who looked kind of like Max asked.

"It's how he protects himself and whatever information he doesn't want anyone else getting. He locks it away so that even he forgets it. He's done it before only it's never been so important as it was this time. He kept Terminal City and You, Max, hidden from White. But he had to hide us from himself too."

"Well how do we make him remember?" Max asked, her desperation obvious.

"I told him he was safe now but he just locked himself up behind a cell. I imagine he's thinking it's just a trap," she replied.

"What do you mean 'he locked himself up behind a cell'?" a different guy piped up.

"Everyone's mind takes on a form that's familiar to them. For Alec it's the Manticore barracks. Different cells hold different memories," Leeana explained to them.

"What if you can get me in there?" Max asked suddenly.

Leanna frowned. "That just isn't possible and even if it were it would be too dangerous for both of you. His mind has been ravaged enough by the laser and 621. I can only get in and out without causing further damage because I'm trained for it."

"Okay," a blonde woman who hadn't spoken previously breathed out. "Okay, so how do we get him to believe her?"

Max suddenly looked up at Leanna. "You can get into his mind...can you bring him into yours? Like a two way street?"

Leanna frowned as she mulled it over. "I've never tried it before but...maybe," she said hesitantly with a shrug.

"Try it. If you can bring him into your mind then you could show him memories that's he's shared with you since you got here. You could show him this memory. Please, Leeana?" Max pleaded.

Alec watched as the memory of Leeana nodded her head and took a deep breath before going still and looking deep into memory Alec's vacant eyes. It was odd seeing himself through her eyes. He'd never seen himself look like that before, so lifeless. He felt Leeana's touch on his hands again and suddenly they were back in Alec's mind, back in front of the cell he'd been keeping guard over.

"I promise you that you're safe now, Alec. Please come back," she begged him as she stepped back to give him space. "I've been in here too long, I need to go back. Just...find the memories and come back. You did your job and kept everyone safe and now you're needed to keep everyone sane," she told him with a small smile before she disappeared and Alec found himself alone again only this time the weight of it was almost crushing.

~DA~

Leeana came to awareness and immediately noticed the IV line sticking out of her arm before she collapsed onto the chair that was, thankfully, right behind her. Syl smiled tiredly as she caught her eye. "How long?" Leeana asked.

"About four days," came the blonde's answer.

Leeana sighed. "Most of it was just waiting for him to trust me."

"But he did?" came a new voice from the doorway.

Leeana nodded as she looked over at Max. "I was able to bring him into my mind and show him a little bit of Terminal City, show him you and I showed him that last memory of you asking me to do it. It's up to him now, Max. I wish there was something more I could do but he has to make that decision himself."

Max nodded, eyes filled with tears as she came to sit back down beside her boyfriend. She didn't know how long she sat there, the others had bid their goodbyes and left awhile ago, but she barely noticed as she was lost in her thoughts.

A little over 18 months earlier

Max watched through narrowed eyes as Syl dragged Alec out onto the floor to dance. They were in one of the old abandoned buildings that they'd turned into a makeshift bar while they were working to clean up the city and create an infrastructure that would keep them safe from the outside world. The bar was, of course, Alec's idea but pretty much everyone had jumped on board. Even Max had been hard pressed to turn down the idea.

The music was old and playing on a crappy little boombox that they'd dug up somewhere but no one cared as they partied the night away for the first time in the six months since the siege had begun. Max and Logan didn't see each other in person much but they talked frequently on the computer ever since she had fessed up about her relationship with Alec being a lie.

She didn't particularly like seeing her sister grind into her fake ex-boyfriend either though. If anyone ever asked she'd deny that it was jealousy that she was feeling even though she felt it as it bubbled up inside her more and more frequently. Sometimes she thought for sure that Syl was doing it on purpose to get under her skin. She shook her head and turned her gaze away, sulkily taking another drink of the beer that Alec and Krit had smuggled in.

Now

That had been the first time Max had really acknowledged her feelings towards Alec, even if it was just to herself. If you'd asked anyone else they'd tell you that she had still been a raging bitch towards him whenever he walked into the same room as her. She couldn't help it. It was like bitch was her built in defense mechanism.

Logan had found the cure shortly after that night and the next six months were spent trying to convince herself she was happy and with the man she truly wanted to be with. It was six months that she now wished she'd spent with the man she'd spent so much energy denying. If he didn't come back from this then it was six months that she lost by being stubborn and short sighted. She didn't know if she could live with herself if she only ever got less than a year with the man she loved. Or how she would live with herself if she never got the chance to tell him that she loved him.

Max sighed as her head dropped down to where his hand was clasped in hers, the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and this time she didn't try to stop them as they fell.

~DA~

He sat on the bed, the box in his hands. He didn't know exactly what he would find inside but he knew that it was the thing he'd fought so hard to protect. He knew that he'd find Max inside, and Leeana and a whole world of people that he knew counted on him. He thought back to the last memory he'd been shown where Max was pleading desperately for Leeana to find some way to make him remember her.

He closed his eyes and hoped he was making the right choice.