Episode 10- Lonely

Can't believe I had a girl like you,
And I just let you walk right outta my life,
After all I put you through,
You still stuck around and stayed by my side,

What really hurt me is I broke your heart,
Baby, you a good girl,
And I had no right,
I really wanna make things right,
Cause without you in my life girl I'm so,

Lonely (So lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely),
I have nobody (I have nobody),
For my own (To call my own girl) – Akon, Lonely

Spencer's POV

Spencer's mood was as dark as midnight as he walked back to the Metro Court. He stomped along on the sidewalk, hands stuffed into his pockets, and bleak despair filling his mind.

So close!

He had been so close to finally convincing Trina that he was serious about her, about them, and somehow it had all shattered around him. Somewhere, he had messed up, said, or done the wrong thing, and Trina had made her decision to move on. Spencer chuckled bitterly to himself, and a lone older woman walking past him gave him a quick, deeply mistrustful glance and walked quicker. Move on? What a joke, how could she move on from something that hadn't even started?

Thanks to his inability to tell Trina about Esme when he had first arrived in Port Charles, then his hesitancy to leave Esme even though he knew damn well that when it came to Trina, his heart didn't stand a chance, on top of the myriad of other questionable and hurtful ways he'd treated Trina, he knew deep in his mind that she had made the right choice to leave. But his heart didn't agree, and it mourned for what they could have had, what they could have built together if only things had been different. They could have carved out their own little slice of paradise.

His mood didn't improve as he moved within view of the restaurant entrance and saw a familiar tall, slim figure standing by the front door. Esme lurking. An uneasy thought flitted into Spencer's mind- how long had she been at the gallery? How much had she heard of the loaded conversation between him and Trina? What had she seen, really?

He drew level with Esme, and she scoffed. "I thought you would have her tagging along." Spencer raised his eyebrows quizzically, and Esme elaborated. "I'm talking about your precious Trina. Guess you might have put her in first place in your life, but you'll always be second choice for-."

"Let me be clear." Spencer's voice sounded eerily calm to his ears apart from the undertone of steel, and Esme's eyes narrowed as she caught it. "The only person tagging along tonight is you. If Trina was here, she'd be here as my guest, because I wanted her to be here, and not because she manipulated my father into coming along with her fake tears."

Esme's lips pressed together into a thin line. When she spoke, her voice grated with ill-concealed aggravation. "You have no right to treat me like this, Spence! Choosing Trina over me?" She poked a finger into her rapidly rising and falling chest, fuming, as Spencer watched distractedly. "Everything I've done since I came to Port Charles, I did for you!"

"We've been through this, Esme. I took the fall for what you did, so no need to hold it over my head anymore, and I'm done talking about it," Spencer replied, shrugging.

He started to push open the entrance door, not wanting to be any later to dinner than he already was. When he was alone with Trina, time seemed to slow to a trickle and fly along at the same time. Esme stepped in front of him, blocking the entrance with her hands on her hips.

Glaring at him, she hissed, "I knew you were a selfish, inconsiderate, weak minded little boy hiding behind his family name, but I wouldn't have guessed-."

Spencer advanced on her a couple of steps, staring her down, and she flattened herself against the wall next to the door, her words stopping short in her throat. Instead of fear, there was a shine of glee in her eyes, because she knew his patience was frayed and about to snap. She enjoyed egging him on, then acting like an innocent, being harassed, and intimidated by the tall, scary Spencer when he lost his temper with her. Just in case there was anybody watching. Esme loved an audience for her exhausting emotional pantomimes. But right now, Spencer didn't care if anyone was watching them. Her days of belittling him were over.

He looked at her and felt nothing, a sharp contrast from their boarding school days, when all she had to do was shoot him her flirtatiously teasing smile and his heart would bang overpoweringly in his chest, making him feel ill. Spencer had equated that -plus the complicated feelings of allegiance, him and Esme against the world, and the relief that he finally wasn't alone anymore, that he had a companion to maneuver through his days- with love. He knew better now. One first look at Trina, even though she had been covered in fake blood, had been enough to fuel his realization that he had never loved before in his life.

"You've been living, rent free, at Wyndemere, thanks to me and the family name you're sneering at. You have no money, no home, no family, as you're constantly telling me." His voice came out low, stony, and assertive through gritted teeth. As he kept his eyes on Esme's, her face lost that 'gotcha' look it had been wearing, and fell into a scowl. Spencer liked that just fine. "That weak minded little boy was all you had, and thanks to your vindictive nature you've alienated me, and I promise you I won't rest until you're out of Wyndemere and out of my life completely."

Esme recoiled as though she had been slapped, her eyes wide and shocked. "You wouldn't dare."

"I absolutely would. You know me, Esme." Unblinkingly, he looked down at her, a small, somber smile twitching the corners of his lips. Her eyes roved over his face, searching for signs of pretence. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder, asking, "Do you really want to test my limits?"

Shaking his hand off, Esme gave him a head-to-toe look, sizing him up, before her eyes snapped back to his cool ones. "You don't want to make an enemy of me, Spence. You know that Esme Prince takes no prisoners."

"I'm Prince Spencer Stefan Niklosovic Cassadine." He folded his arms over his chest, the trace of an arrogant smirk on his face. "Threaten me at your own risk."

Esme jabbed a finger towards his face, and Spencer took a wary step back, just in case she decided to poke his eyes out. He knew all about her crazy, she was absolutely capable of doing something cutthroat like that. "You should wipe your face before you go inside. You have Trina's lip gloss all over." She practically spat out Trina's name, then made a face as though she had bitten into rotten fruit. "Lip gloss is so childish and basic, which is fitting, since she's immature and basic."

She smiled up at him disdainfully, her ponytail swinging jauntily behind her back. Spencer wiped at his cheeks then examined the flat of his hand, refusing to let her taunting get to him. A smear of Trina's pink lip gloss stained his skin, and for a second, he was lost in the memory of how it had tasted, how sweet she tasted.

"Well, her lip gloss still tastes good to me, childish or no."

Esme's smile faltered, then splintered completely as he licked his lips deliberately slow. "You are acting like an utter ass-," she started, her voice rising.

"Maybe you shouldn't come to dinner. You seem upset," he interrupted, watching remotely while her cheeks flushed bright pink as she tried to hold back her anger. Her hands spasmodically pulled on the hem of her short, flowery red dress.

Her eyes glittering with hate and malevolence, she jeered, "Oh, no, Spence. I'm going to that dinner. There's no way I'm missing out on a second of this."

"Suit yourself," Spencer said, pushing his way past Esme, and ignoring her reproachful huff as he opened the door. He could hear her trotting behind him, clunking along in those bulky heels that he hated.

He made a beeline for their table, where Nikolas, Ava, and Victor were sitting, all three with drinks in front of them. Menus, an untouched pitcher of water and a half-full bread basket sat on the table, and Spencer was hit with a pang of guilt. They had all waited for him and hadn't even ordered appetisers yet.

Victor saw him first, smiled, and spread his arms in the air welcomingly. "Spencer, my dear boy, where have you been? Ava said you and Esme were running an errand?" He tipped Spencer a wink as he slid into the chair between Victor and Nikolas. It was safer than sitting next to Esme. "Luckily for you, I have ample time to lounge about and wait, but I fear that your busy grandmother did not."

He pointed at the empty seat between Ava and Esme, and Spencer felt even worse. So much for turning over a new leaf. In his selfish haste to go talk to Trina, he had barely stopped to think or remember that his dinner guests had other things they could be doing.

"Mother had to leave. She had a late meeting she couldn't get out of." Nikolas turned in his seat to look at Spencer, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It felt like all eyes at the table were on him, apart from Ava's. She was staring into her martini glass, a hint of a smile on her face. "Where were you, Spencer? It's almost 8 and you know we were supposed to start dinner at 7."

Clearing his throat, Spencer said to the table at large. "I apologize for being so late. There was something I really needed to do."

"It was Trina," Esme said, shooting him a lofty look across the table. Nikolas and Victor turned in her direction, like they were watching a particularly intense volleyball match, but Spencer noticed that Ava just took a sip of her drink, not looking the slightest bit surprised. Now the center of attention, Esme flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and announced, "He went to see his precious Trina Robinson at the gallery, and I caught them red-handed."

Victor leaned forward, eyes twinkling as he rested his chin on his steepled hands. There was nothing he loved more than a good scandal, and Spencer groaned silently as he exclaimed, "Oh, do tell. This seems like it might explain Spencer's disheveled state."

"You do look kind of- unkempt, Spencer," Nikolas agreed, giving him a head to toe once over.

Ava's mouth twitched as Spencer ran a hand through his hair, wishing for a comb and a mirror. Maybe he shouldn't have been so flippant when Esme told him he still had lip gloss on his face, because, glancing down at his now wrinkled maroon shirt, he was looking rather worse for wear. Thinking about how Trina's slight fingers had fumbled with his shirt buttons made him feel a trifle unsteady.

"It was nothing." He spoke before Esme could, and the glare she tossed his way could have felled a lesser person, it was that filled with poison. "I went there to fix things with her because I didn't like how we left things when she visited me at Spring Ridge."

Victor looked disappointed at the simple explanation, but Esme puffed up like a blowfish. "Nothing? You telling her that you needed her in your life was nothing? Kissing her on her desk, in her workplace- that was nothing?"

Ava let out a snort of laughter, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. "My martini went down the wrong pipe," she explained airily as Nikolas gave her a concerned look.

"How long were you lurking for, Esme?" Spencer asked idly, picking up his menu and skimming it. The server materialized and started taking Nikolas's order.

Esme's face was like stone as she snapped, "Long enough." She turned to Ava, her elbow on the table. "Your employee was in an inappropriate position with my boyfriend in your gallery, and-."

"Oh, please spare me. You don't care about inappropriate behavior, or the fact that you say it happened in my gallery." Ava flapped her hand dismissively in the air as she gave Esme a side eye. Esme blanched, taken aback by Ava's reaction. She wasn't the only one, Spencer felt tendrils of surprise spin in his head. "Your only concern is that Trina was involved. According to Spencer, you and he are no longer together, so I'm pretty sure he can kiss whomsoever he wants. If it happened to be Trina, he couldn't have made a better choice if he tried."

To top off that bizarre acceptance speech, she gave Spencer a commiserating smile. Spencer was too frozen with shock to smile back, or do anything, for that matter. Of all the people he expected to be pissed upon hearing he had kissed Trina; Ava was in the top 5 percentile. Portia Robinson was the valedictorian of the group.

Hand over her heart, Esme spluttered with indignation. "What- but- I-."

"Use your words, Esme. Nothing more annoying than false outrage, let me tell you." With that, Ava completely ignored Esme and looked at Spencer. "I trust Trina went on her date, Spencer?"

Spencer nodded, his shoulders slumping dejectedly. "Yup, that's why she's not here."

"Probably for the best." Ava shot a pointed glance at Esme, who was now glowering at her menu with fierce concentration, her knuckles chalky as she clutched the laminated sheet.

Puffing out an exasperated breath, Spencer said, "I guess so."

To his continued shock, Ava reached over the table and pressed her hand over his for a short second, but it was enough. "However, if it sets your mind at ease, the night is still young."

She smiled at him, and for the first time since knowing her, Spencer felt his anxiety melt away.

Dinner passed in a rush, Spencer only picked at his food, semi listening to the conversations happening around him. He was lost in the memory of his stolen moment with Trina. His stomach was tied in knots as he wondered how their date was going. Was Trina having fun, wherever she was? With David? Thinking about Trina in the company of another man hurt him to his core. It was painful to imagine her in the company of David, holding his hand, laughing at his jokes, enthralled by his conversation, her dark eyes sparkling as she gazed up into David's face. He didn't want to think about that.

Once dinner was over, their group gathered by the front doors of the restaurant, Victor shrugging into his black overcoat. "Lovely spending the evening with you all. Now I must take my leave, I have some business to attend to," he said, beaming around at everyone.

Spencer stepped forward, holding his arms out, and Victor enveloped him in a tight hug. "Thank you for coming, Uncle Victor."

"You're welcome, my dear chap. Congratulations on being a free man, in more ways than one." Victor pulled back, and Spencer was unsurprised to see a humor filled twinkle in his eyes as he said the last. He clapped Nikolas on the shoulder. "Nikolas, I will see you soon. Ava, a pleasure as always. Esme."

With a jaunty spring in his step, Victor walked out of the restaurant.

Nikolas turned to Ava, Spencer and Esme, hands in his pockets. "Well, should we go?"

"I'm staying at the hotel, father. For a few nights," Spencer reminded Nikolas. He caught Esme's scowl as he spoke, but ignored her.

Nikolas slapped his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh, that's right, your grandmother mentioned that. She had someone take your bags up to your room while you were- away."

Spencer's heart went out to his grandmother. She really thought of everything.

"Yeah, it'll be good for me to clear my head," he nodded, mentally adding 'as I wait for Esme to move out of Wyndemere'.

Ava shot him a warm smile which he was surprised into returning. "What a treat. Enjoy, Spencer. Truly."

"Thanks, Ava. I will." He turned to Nikolas. "Goodnight, father. Have a safe trip back to Wyndemere, all."

Nikolas patted him on the back. "Goodnight, son. Breakfast tomorrow?"

"I'll call you."

Esme threw him a baleful glance over her shoulder as the trio left the restaurant together. The sigh of relief he heaved as he watched them go was not feigned, dinner had been exhausting. He hadn't been in the mood for small talk, and it had been obvious to see.

At the hotel reception, he caught the eye of the young, pretty desk attendant. Her name tag said her name was Alicia, and her smile was professional and as pretty as her. "Hi, my grandmother made a reservation for me, I'm not sure if it's in my name or hers."

"What's her name? We'll look it up that way," Alicia asked perkily, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.

"Laura Webber."

Alicia's fingers flew over the keys, and she smiled. "Ah, yes, here it is. You're staying in the Grand Luxe Suite. It's on the 14th floor, with a lovely view. You'll enjoy a complimentary fruit basket and bottle of Domaine Lavantureux Bougros." Spencer though briefly about telling Alicia that he was underage, then dropped it. A chilled glass of wine might help him sleep tonight, since his thoughts were all over the place. "You also have access to our 24-hour butler service, the spa, and the pool, but the pool closes at 9pm each night." Finishing her spiel, Alicia looked up at Spencer. "Will anyone be joining you?"

"No." He ran a hand over his face, feeling desolate for a second. "Just me."

Alicia didn't pry, but her smile flickered as she handed him the key card. "Here's your key card. Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you."

Spencer turned around to head to the elevators, and as he spotted a flash of red turning the corner, he was suddenly struck with the feeling that when he got to the elevators, Trina would be waiting for him there. Wasn't that what always happened in movies? Trina could have changed her mind; she didn't look too certain when Spencer had left her in the company of David. Could she have ditched him to come to the hotel looking for Spencer? He walked faster to turn the corner, his heart thudding rapidly, hoping, praying that Trina would be there, a soft, shy light in her beautiful eyes.

The only people by the elevator was a young couple completely enamoured with each other. The girl ran her hand through her boyfriend/husband's hair, smiling lovingly up at him. Spencer was hit with a wave of disappointment so fierce that he almost drowned in it. How was he going to get through four months without Trina if he was seeing her everywhere he went, and she wasn't even out of the country yet?

The room was lovely, his bags were already there, as were the wine, fruit basket and a fully stocked mini bar. But Spencer was bored and restless, his misery only exacerbated by the two robes, two sets of slippers, two wine glasses… it made him lonelier than he'd felt since returning to Port Charles.

He changed into his swim shorts, grabbed a towel, and headed to the pool, which was silent and closed, the deck chairs clothed in the gloomy dark. Joss had given him the code to the security gate a while back and he tried it, pumping an exuberant fist in the air as the gate clicked open. The flood lights had been switched off and Spencer felt his way to his favorite deck chair in the dark. The memory of all the times he'd hung out there with Trina surfaced in his mind, and he sighed. She was never going to leave his thoughts. God, he wished she was there. It almost seemed like he could smell her scent on the air, spiced honey…

"Don't you dare sit on me, Spencer Cassadine," a warning voice came out of the shadows, and Spencer dropped his towel, frozen in shock.

"Trina? What-? How did you-?"

She stood up, a vision in a white, shimmery cover-up top and denim shorts, her hands behind her back. Her hair was down, brushing her shoulders, and Spencer had never seen her look so beautiful. "You're not the only one who knows how to access the pool after hours." Her lips curved up in a small smile. "Joss is my best friend, remember?"

"Oh. You're meeting Joss here," Spencer said, his words coming out in a sigh. Of course, she wasn't there for him. That would be too much like right, and good things rarely happened to him.

But Trina smiled wider, and she brought her hands from behind her back, one was carrying a slim box, which she thrust towards him. Spencer's eyes dropped to the box, and his breath stopped as Trina said, "No. I brought you something."

It was a box of ginger snaps. Spencer looked back up at Trina, at the hesitant smile on her face, and he was suddenly convinced in the existence of miracles. Wasn't one standing right in front of him, in human form?

Author's Note- okay, so hear me out! I had some creative differences with myself and ended up adding way more than I originally plotted out and anticipated and the end result was a super long chapter. So I decided to cut it and it worked I think (and added an extra chapter to the story so yay 😊). Hope you enjoy and thanks for all the love, your comments and engagement gives me motivation to continue 💚💚