EPOV

"Stop!" I said and pulled myself away from her, but I was finding it really difficult to stay away from her. I pulled her closer to me almost immediately.

I placed a kiss on her forehead and lingered my lips there for a few seconds before finally letting her go. It was really difficult, in fact almost impossible, but I had to do it.

She was going to regret this. I didn't think she knew what she was doing. She might think that I was taking advantage of her because she was feeling low.

"I think Jasper is right," she said, "I think you're doing this because you want to sleep with me by gaining my trust. And just because I slept with Jasper, you also think I'm a slut!"

I was too shocked to say anything.

"But let me be clear about this," she said, "That's never going to happen."

Yeah, she might say that! But wasn't that a different situation? Naah! She still didn't feel anything for me.

She's behaving differently even since I mentioned the divorce. I was sure she didn't feel anything for me, and she didn't want this kiss either. It's just that... She might be feeling low because of the divorce, and she might be afraid of losing me, as a friend. We were good friends after all, right? She might be afraid of losing that friendship. But maybe I could assure her that she was never going to lose me as a friend irrespective of whatever she chose.

Did that make any sense? I guess so?

"Bella..." I sighed, "There's a difference between actually wanting someone and... just wanting them because you're afraid of losing them,"

Yes, this made sense. She didn't want me! I was sure about that!

"I've no idea what you're talking about," she said.

What was so difficult to understand? But then again, it seemed I couldn't convey anything to her anyway, and hence, she had to ask a question like, "Do you still like me?"

There was no need for me to kiss her frantically in response to that! I was pathetic!

"You really don't want this... You really don't!" I said.

"What does that mean?" she asked, still looking confused.

"You've behaved differently ever since I've mentioned the divorce," I said, "You're kissing me only because you're afraid of losing me. You don't actually want me."

She kept staring at me.

"Does that make sense?" I asked.

"What's wrong with you, Edward?" she asked.

I sighed, "Bella, you're going to regret this. I'm not someone who you want. You'd be happy with Jasper. You don't have to worry about losing my friendship. I'll be there."

She kept staring at me again.

"Just stop!" she said with frustration, "I know what I want. I want to save this marriage. I want you."

"Just calm down!" I said.

"No, I won't!" she snapped, "You're making decisions on my behalf, and that too based on what? Because I met Jasper behind your back? I said, I'm sorry for that! I didn't tell you because I honestly didn't know how you're going to react... And to be honest, you're behaving even worse than I had ever imagined you'd be!"

Alright, she was mad at me, and she might not be wrong? But I wasn't sure about the latter part yet!

"I'm sorry!" I said.

"You're confusing the hell out of me. First, I got to know today that you had a crush on me. I'm trying to figure out what that even means. But then you kept telling me that you want to get over this marriage, and you want the divorce as soon as possible. "

"Bella, calm down," I said.

"I'm not done yet," she said, "Then you say, you're tired of pretending that you don't have any feelings for me. I don't even know why you are pretending? Before I can figure out what it means, you kiss me. That was like the best kiss I've ever had. I was still cherishing that, and then you have to spoil the mood by saying that I kissed you back only because I'm afraid of losing you."

Okay, it actually sounded extremely absurd now that I was hearing it back from her! She might be right! What the hell was I doing? What the fuck was wrong with me? Had I completely lost it?

"How do you know what I want? Why do you think I don't want this?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. It's... overwhelming for me, too, and I don't know what I'm doing," I said, "I'm honestly behaving like a crazy man since the last few days."

"You knew everything about whatever the fucking equation I had with Jasper... Like, every single damn thing!" Her eyes had started to well up with tears again. Damn, could I do a single right thing?

"You knew everything! And yet you asked me to get married!" she said, "Why did you do that if you were never going to trust me?"

"Bella, baby, I'm sorry... Let me try to explain. I thought..." I tried to take her hand in mine, but she shrugged it away.

"Just leave my hand!" she shouted.

"Okay... Okay... Just calm down!" I said.

"Actually, you know what?" She said, "There's no point in being with someone who doesn't have any trust in you! You're right. We should get the divorce as soon as possible."

Bravo, Edward Cullen!

Way to fuck up everything!