The summer came and went, and September came even faster. Freja flashed a nervous look at the clock and swallowed hard. Two hours from now, the students will arrive, and tomorrow marks the first official day of term. The coping mechanisms her therapist had taught her have failed. "Deep breathing didn't do shit." Freja tutted.
Staff meetings have retained their awkwardness. The last one for example, Minerva and Filius listed off these wondrous classes they have planned for the school year. Pomona conjured specimens of plants she had grown for students to practice on. Snape drew on about his potions and the research he was going to implement into his own classes. Freja flushed, feeling hot and embarrassed. Her apology wasn't coming along well. Her eyes darted up to Dumbledore's, and when they met, he gave her a cheeky wink.
"Anything to contribute, Miss Lowes?" she was asked.
"Uhh...I'll do my best to keep the place clean? I guess...? I'm not sure what else I can offer-" she trailed off.
Light chuckles and snickers at her awkwardness rang loudly in her ears. Clearing his throat, Dumbledore dismissed his staff and the meeting finished. "Now is as good a time as any." Freja thought, and her eyes scanned the room. He was already gone. Feeling dejected, she felt a soft hand curl itself around her shoulder.
"Miss Lowes, is something troubling you?" Dumbledore asked gently, and in a low hushed voice to retain her privacy.
She gave a light sigh. "I owe Professor Snape an apology. I ripped into him a while back about him being a ," she paused. "Death Eater. And I was awfully rude to him about it without hearing what he had to say about it."
Dumbledore feigned shock. "A Death Eater. Oh, my. What have I done." Freja groaned and rolled her eyes.
"I think an apology is a decent and admirable thing to do. Admitting a mistake is difficult and shows your character. Although, he's not the only one who 'deserves' an apology." he lowered his voice. "Best nip it in the bud so he can offer his, and you can both move past this, yes?"
"I guess so."
Freja swallowed, and the bells of the clocktower rang out as usual, signifying the train's arrival. Sighing, she made her way to the entrance of the great hall dragging her feet as if to halt time. Reaching the staircase, she looked up, and Snape was already standing there calmly speaking with the other heads of houses. Freja slowly walked up the stairs, her feeling of doom deepening.
"...have them walk in groups to make it less congested. Less chaos." Snape said quietly.
The tiny man, Filius, was standing on a stool, jokingly answered "Because that worked well last year, right?"
Snape scoffed, and felt his hair raise on his neck again. The light scent of hibiscus filled the air, and with a turn of his head noticed the woman's small frame climbing the steps. Her blonde hair was pulled back with gold colored pins, stray curls framing her face. Her long eyelashes fluttered against her cheek. Her eyes met his, and instead of looking the other way, they remained locked to each other. Flashing him a smile, she gave him a sheepish wave before finishing her trek.
"Professor," she began. "Can I talk to you about something? It's important." she cast nervous eyes at the other heads of houses, their expressions changing from stern to bewilderment. The other faculty, whom Freja had not met yet, erupted into hushed and curious whispers. She felt her face flush again, but tried to ignore it.
"Now isn't really the best time, now is it, Miss Lowes?" his eyes darkened, and he opened his mouth to say something snarky, then held back. With a sigh, he reached his hand to his temple and squeezed. "Listen. Find me after dinner. I'll be waiting by the back of the hall. Don't dawdle."
In droves, the students quickly filled into the school, and the majority of faculty disappeared behind the double doors. Upperclassmen made their way into the Great Hall while the first years remained outside of it, their gazes glancing this way and that. They were just as anxious and excited as Freja was. Removing herself from view behind a pillar, she watched as Minerva gave the welcoming speech.
"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In a few moments, you'll walk through these doors where you will be sorted into one of four houses. For the next seven years, your peers will be your family. You will learn how to not only control your magic, but will strengthen it. Now. Please form lines over here and here-"she pointed, gesturing to the sites of the stairwell, "Just a moment, while we finish preparing for you. I will fetch you all shortly." Then she, too, disappeared behind the double doors.
Freja's eyes scanned the group of children. The sea of black cloaks were so mesmerizing to her. Is this what it would have been like had she been a student here? Would life have been easier and happier if she had been able to harness magic too? Letting out an envious tut, her attention was drawn by Snape again.
"We can go inside whenever you're ready. After you, Lowes." he opened the door for her to enter, his bandaged hand bracing it. Freja frowned, then nodded, slowly entering the hall.
She gasped for what was probably the hundredth time that night. The hall was decorated with flags of the four houses, the thousand or so candles were lit and floating mid air. The enchanted ceiling was a dark and stormy colored gray.
Nearly colliding with the curious girl, Snape opened his mouth to protest, and stopped himself again. The look of wonder on her face softened his own, and he hesitated to reach out to her shoulder and bring her attention back to her destination. Thinking better of it, he cleared his throat. "Lowes. Move it."
Taking a spot against the wall, Freja waited for the start of term speech. She watched as the older students chatted animatedly with each other, acting like stereotypical school children. The hall was filled with verbose voices, all of which began to stress her out. After a few minutes of this, a light clattering drew a hush over the crowd and Albus Dumble stood up to begin.
"Welcome to Hogwarts! Shortly, each of you will be sorted into one of four houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. For now, the Sorting Hat will say a few words of their own, then each of you will be called up for your ceremony." With a snap of his fingers, the hat came to life, and began singing a tune about the four founders of Hogwarts, what the houses represent, and in less words said this is the moment your life begins.
Freja rolled her eyes and giggled. She didn't know what she was expecting but it certainly wasn't this. With a sigh of relief she noticed McGonagall had already started calling the students up one by one. The hat called out House names, one of each at times, multiple Gryffindors here, Slytherin there. Hufflepuff was called nearly 5 times in a row. Finally, Slytherin was called out and a stocky looking boy ran to join his new housemates, greeting him like he was an old friend.
Dumbledore stood up a second time, and with a wave of both his hands, the tables filled with drinks and food. The students waited on baited breath when he finally said, "Let the feast begin." Once again the hall erupted into chatter and laughter, and Freja took a seat offered up by Hagrid. Sitting between him, and a beautiful black woman wearing a sparkly plum robe who introduced herself as Professor Aurora Sinistra.
"I teach the class of Astronomy up on the tower." she pointed a long finger out the window towards some shadows that Freja couldn't make sense of. She nodded politely, and the conversation continued. "A lot of my classes are hosted at night, obviously; feel free to come up and observe if you have the time."
Freja smiled warmly at her offer. Another woman who didn't look like she could be a day older than 26, like Freja, joined in on the conversation. "My name is Charity Burbage. I teach Muggle studies. You can join if you have time as well!"
"This is all so lovely, thank you for your offer." Freja raised both hands to her pink cheeks, tapping them lightly. Tentatively, she began piling small piles of food onto her plate and reached over to pour herself a glass of what she was told was Pumpkin Juice. She burst out laughing, much to the other staff's chagrin, when Hagrid offered to add whatever was in his flask to it. She didn't fail to see the wink cast her way under all that curly and bushy hair. Her heart fluttered gently in her chest until the feast came to an end.
"Alright students, if you follow your Prefects, they'll guide you to your dormitories. Each one is password protected, so be sure to remember it when you wish to return after your classes. Otherwise, have a good night, and I'll see all of you tomorrow morning at breakfast."
And as if they were mechanical all the students were gathered in groups. The older ones gently ushered the younger who were all still jittery from their first night here. Sighing, Freja stood from her chair and made her way to Snape who was standing at the back of the hall just as she promised. She suddenly felt sick, but successfully shook away her nausea. 'What's the worst that could happen, honestly. Stupid girl.' she thought.
When she approached him she got a better look at him. His slender form was leaning against the wall with his arms folded against his chest. His hair fell in curtains in front of his eyes and she could see his nose peeking through them. He cast a sideways look at her and pushed himself up off the wall, adjusting his posture.
"You wanted to speak with me, Lowes?" she drawled on softly.
Freja swallowed hard, a blush daring to creep back into her face. "I wanted - wanted to - umm..." She suddenly felt vulnerable and sheepish, raising a heavy hand to the back of her head and scratching it nervously.
"Yesss...?" he teased her. And her blushing face failed her once again.
Finding her courage she adjusted her own posture and puffed out her chest. "I wanted to apologize to you. The way I talked to you a few days back was unprofessional and cruel and I shouldn't have done it. It's true. I don't know what you've been through and seen, and I shouldn't have assumed you had done any if not all those horrible crimes I read about. I'm sorry." She was ranting at this point. He held up a hand to stop her.
"I'm sorry I lunged at you the way I did." he paused for what seemed like forever, then rolled his eyes and tutted again. "And, I guess, for telling you to go fuck yourself. I wasn't behaving civilized at all."
Freja grinned, feeling weight leaving her shoulders when she replied with, "It's alright. You could say I was being pretty bitchy."
"I accept your apology, at any rate. Let's just get through this year without any more... incidents." He scoffed.
Freja awkwardly shifted her feet. "Well... I accept yours as well. Hopefully we can consider ourselves friends before the year is up. I don't know what waits for me ahead of them but let's make the best of it shall we?" She offered a hand out, and he tentatively accepted it and gently gave it a shake.
Their fingers lingered for a second too long and instinctively he pulled away. "It's getting late. Get some rest. We're in for a hell of a day tomorrow."
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The walk to her private quarters was a long one. The lanterns of the halls cast eerie shadows against available surfaces and Freja shuddered at her racing thoughts. Upon reaching her room she turned to lock her door tightly before placing her forehead against the warm wood. She felt so relieved that apologizing was as easy as she was hoping it would be, and that one was offered to her without her having to ask for it. Maybe Snape wasn't as bad as he seemed? Her cheeks flushed at the sensation his hand had left on hers.
'His hands were surprisingly soft.' She flexed her hand in an attempt to shake the feeling but it had stuck to her like glue.
What followed was her nightly routine. A quick cold shower, brushing her hair and teeth, and a cold glass of water before bed. Slipping under the duvet of her bed, she curled herself into a ball and drifted into a dreamless sleep.
The same could not be said for Severus Snape, who instead of retreating to his own chambers instead searched out Dumbledore. When reaching the Headmasters quarters, Severus quietly uttered the password "gumdrops", before the spiral staircase to the quarters opened for him. Climbing up the steep steps, Snape was nearly breathless before reaching his hand to knock on the door. But before he could a voice echoed from behind it. "You may come in, dear boy." Clearing his throat, he obliged, stepping into the warm glow of the office.
The walls were head to toe covered in books and portraits. The bronze and gold colors were overwhelming but inviting. "I wished to speak to you Headmaster."
"About Miss Lowes? What of it? Did she apologize for her outburst? And you to her for yours?" his eyes twinkled as Snape felt his breath catch in his chest.
"Not that. Well…she did, we did apologize to each other." his face remained cold and stoic. "That's not what I'm calling at this hour about. Did you find anything out about her she hasn't shared with anyone else?"
"She's an open book, Severus. Everything she has learned she has shared with me. Some things of which I will not be discussing with you as she told me in the strictest confidence."
Snape scoffed. "As if that ever stopped you?"
Dumbledore ignored his comment and continued. "When she's ready to share those details with you or anyone she will. However I did look into her name and found out some details of her, which she is now aware of. Mostly." his blue eyes darkened noticeably. "When she's ready to learn of her parentage, it will be shared."
"Why not…nip it in the bud… as you've so eloquently told me about things? She deserves to know the truth."
"Born on May 27th, 1964 to Anderson and Pippa Beltran. She was put into Child Protective Services at the age of two and a half after Pippa who was struggling with the surprise separation from Anderson tried to take her life by driving themselves into the lake with their car. Surprisingly Freja survived and Pippa's body was later recovered upon finding their vehicle. Unable to locate Anderson, Freja was adopted by Vada Lowes and they remained close knit until Vada's death from cancer in 1986." Dumbledore explained, reading off a spare bit of parchment he had compiled his research on.
"And Anderson Beltran?" Snape asked, bewildered.
"As you know, he's in Azkaban for life. After last year's…events."
"He impregnated that girl and then killed her once word got out. It was more than just eventful. It was nothing short of pure evil." Snape spat. "And Freja? Does she know about her father? Do you think her appearance is all just mere coincidence?"
"She knows nothing. She isn't even aware she's a witch. How she's never shown any magical ability escapes me, however…" Dumbledore trailed off, gliding towards a window overlooking the grounds. "I have my suspicions of why it's happening."
"Care to share?" Snape said sarcastically, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"Once I've figured it out, you'll be the first person I inform" he smiled. "Now. Off to bed."
It wasn't a request. "Yes, Headmaster. Goodnight." With an ironic bow, Snape retreated.
His back to the door, Dumbledore tutted. "Miss Freja…what are we going to do about you?"