I got up to my alarm at 6:00 on the dot. I got dressed for a day of shopping, clothes easy to change out of. I debated getting made up, but given I'd be in the company of three female vampires, I'd look like an ugly duckling no matter what so I saved myself the trouble. I made myself coffee and grabbed a couple Pop-tarts out of the carton.
Charlie came down in his uniform. "Hey, Izzy," he greeted.
"You work weekends?" I asked.
"Saturday, normally. Sunday, if I've got nothing better to do or someone asks me to cover," he nodded.
"Do you get overtime?" I asked, concerned at his workload.
"Yes, I do," he assured me. "That flatscreen didn't pay for itself, you know. And I've been saving for your college fund since you were in diapers."
"Well, if it's all going to a good cause," I chuckled.
There was a knock on the door, though it wasn't even 6:30. Charlie and I both went to answer. Alice Cullen was waiting under an umbrella, guarding against the morning rain. She was dressed in jeans that seemed painted on, a top made of some shiny material I couldn't name but was certainly very pretty, an infinity scarf in beige, and heels that looked like podiacal torture devices that added 6 inches to her diminutive height. All tucked under a fashionable trench coat left open to show off her outfit. "Good morning, Chief Swan! I'm Alice Cullen, and I invited Izzy to come shopping with my sister and mother today!" Alice grinned charmingly at Charlie.
"Uh… great," he said, looking like Charlie . exe failed to run from the mesmerizing effect of Alice dressed to impress.
"We'll be back by 9:00 tonight, I promise. Here's Esme's cell phone, in case you get worried and want to check in," Alice said, handing out a notecard with a clearly legible 10 digit number written down.
"Sure thing," Charlie said, accepting the card and seeming to get back a few IQ points. He gave me a one-arm hug. "Be smart, be safe, have fun Izzy."
"Sure thing, Dad," I nodded before following Alice under her umbrella to Rosalie's red BMW M3 waiting in the driveway.
"Welcome, Bella. I hope you enjoy shopping with us all today," Esme grinned at me from the passenger seat.
"Not sure exactly what I signed up for, shopping with the vampires," I said honestly. "You all realize I can't stand indefinitely like you can? I'll need breaks to eat, go to the bathroom, all that jazz."
"Alice printed out a couple 'how-to' guides for human group shopping trips and made sure we all memorized them," Rosalie said with an eye roll.
We backed out of the driveway. Rosalie drove at a reasonable speed until we merged onto the highway. Then she took off like it was the freaking Autobahn.
"Whoa! Where's the fire?" I asked, alarmed at how far to the right the speedometer was going.
"We're not going to get into an accident, not with our reflexes. You're perfectly safe," Rosalie said dismissively.
"Yeah, but I also won't just walk away unscathed from an accident like you would. What about hydroplaning? Or a cop?" I pointed out, double-checking that my seatbelt was securely fastened.
"Rose is an excellent driver. And I have a built-in alarm for any police," Alice reassured me. "Besides, you really think Rose couldn't talk her way out of a ticket?"
If I was honest with myself, I think the poor man or woman who pulled her over would end up paying her for the trouble of bothering her. "All right, then," I said, determined not to look out the windshield or windows for the length of the trip. "So, what's on the agenda?"
"We'll get to Seattle before 9:00, but Neiman Marcus doesn't open until 11:00. Since you actually eat and can cook, I figured we could tour Pike Place Market until the store opens," Alice told me.
"Neiman Marcus? The place where a pair of socks costs more than everything in my current closet?" I checked in disbelief.
"Bella, I'll be blunt. We have over a billion dollars split between numerous anonymized accounts. We have more than Charlie makes in a year lying around the house as spare cash. And as long as I keep working Wall Street, our wealth is just going to keep growing. Pretend it's Monopoly money if you have to, but ask and ye shall receive so long as I'm footing the bill," Alice told me, her honey-yellow eyes looking into mine.
"Well, alright then," I said, huffing out a breath.
"How was your date last night, Izzy?" Esme asked.
"We had fun, but there wasn't any chemistry between me and Eric. We're just going to be friends," I told Esme.
"I could have warned you, but you wanted to find out the hard way," Alice shrugged.
"Some lessons can only be learned by experiencing them, Alice. I gave Eric a chance, it didn't work out, but now we know we're not meant to be together romantically and can focus on being friends with no lingering or unresolved tension. You say you knew about Jasper as soon as you woke up, but you waited 28 years before meeting him. Why wait, why not just meet with him directly?" I asked the psychic vampire.
"He wasn't in the right place yet. He had to grow and learn before he was in the right frame of mind to accept me and go live with the Cullens. Okay, I see your point," Alice nodded.
"So… without being crude, is there anything different between vampires falling in love versus humans?" I asked, curious.
"Sex lasts as long as you want it to, we never have to stop to stretch, go to the bathroom, or even breathe," Rosalie informed me.
"Our personalities are frozen when we're turned," Esme spoke up as I blushed at Rosalie's declaration. "In many ways, it's like we literally freeze or crystalize as people when the venom reaches our brains. We can still learn and experience new things, but our core character is all but set in stone. When we fall in love, it's like a tectonic shift. Emotions, in many ways, are even stronger for us than in humans. I love Carlisle more than life itself, and I know he loves me back just as intensely. If either of us were to die, we'd never recover. I'd grieve and mourn and try to carry on for the sake of our children, but I'd never be able to fall in love with another person, the pain of his loss would never get any easier. Most vampires, once they lose their true mate, commit suicide either by throwing themselves into a bonfire or provoking the Volturi."
"And you fall in love like humans?" I checked.
"You can confirm this with Rose and Esme, I felt an electric shock the first time I touched Jasper. I think there's a chemical factor, and my venom latched onto him as a potential mate when the markers in his skin reached whatever passes for my bloodstream. I'd already fallen in love with him from my visions, but I could practically see the moment he accepted me as his mate and started to fall for me in return," Alice explained to me. "But otherwise, yes, we have to learn little details and explore our physical chemistry like any human couple has to."
"Ah. Alice, would you mind if I held your hand?" I asked her.
"Sure," she agreed easily, handing me her dainty hand.
I held what felt like part of an ice sculpture, except the fingers moved to play with mine. "Do you even shed skin the same as a human anymore?" I asked, using my other hand to trace patterns on the back of Alice's hand.
"With venom, the policy is 'waste not, want not'. We don't regenerate on any level. When we're torn to pieces in fights with other vampires or other species, the venom glues us back together but if something is lost or burned it's gone for good. My hair was this short when I was turned, and if I ever decide to shave my head with a venom-coated razor, I'll be bald for the rest of my existence," Alice replied.
"You feel ice cold and rock hard to me… but I suppose to another vampire, you're the same temperature and density. I suppose Jasper feels warm and soft beneath your hands and I'm just a very hot, squishy thing you could break like a glass figurine?" I checked.
"Not to put too fine a point on it, yes," Alice nodded.
"Do you really burn in the sunlight? It must be from direct sunlight, you all go out during the day just fine, albeit when it's cloudy," I asked.
"We don't burst into flames, but the effect is very attention-grabbing. The venom is iridescent. Every skin cell glitters like a diamond under the unfiltered light of the sun," Alice told me.
"Right, I remember now. The Cold Woman gleamed like a diamond in the light, before she started attacking," I nodded.
"The Cold Woman? Is this something that happened from your life as the Quileute chief's wife?" Alice asked.
"I was Taha Aki's third wife. He had been immortal so long as he kept shifting into the wolf, but one look at me and he fell in love. The way he described it, his inner wolf latched onto me as his one true mate. A few of his sons who had shifted as well had met their mates too, and the word we settled on for the phenomenon translates to English as 'imprint'. He stopped shifting so he could grow old with me. One day, the Makah came to us, accusing the spirit wolves of kidnapping and killing several of their women. Taha Aki sent his oldest son to investigate the disappearance. The younger half of the pack was sent back when they caught a sickly-sweet scent that burned their noses. The other half never returned. Taha Aki's grief at his sons' loss was so real that the Makah chief was convinced of our innocence and war was averted," I recalled, walking through the long halls of my memory to this particular section. "Two years later, two Makah girls vanished again. We sent the pack, and only one returned: my oldest son, Yaha Uta. He carried with him a corpse in pieces. He described the Cold Man, a creature who looked human but moved too fast to be seen, with blood-red eyes. He'd killed the first Makah girl and had been in the process of drinking the second's blood when the pack found him. The spirit wolves found that only their sharp teeth could pierce his flesh. Two died, but Yaha Uta managed to decapitate the Cold Man and brought back the corpse in pieces. We found the pieces still had life, trying to put themselves back together, and we burned them to ash. We scattered the bags of ash to the four winds, keeping one on a cord around the chief's neck so we could know for sure the Cold Man would never return. The Cold Woman came to the village, speaking English that no one but I understood, and I had no way to explain how I would know it. We were enraptured by her beauty, but one of my husband's grandchildren complained that her smell burned his nose. When she attacked, Yaha Uta phased and tried to protect the tribe. When she killed him, Taha Aki phased for the first time in decades. I could see he would lose, so I grabbed a knife from one of my dead sons and plunged it into my own heart. The smell of the blood distracted the Cold Woman, and the last thing I saw before I died was Taha Aki tearing off her head."
There was silence in the car as the Cullen women processed that fact. "When was this?" Esme asked.
"When I was born again, I was in Japan. If I'm converting the dates from the Chinese calendar to the Gregorian calendar right, it was 1415 when I was born, which means the whole episode with the Cold Man and Woman must have been a few years before then. I was a samurai during the Ōnin War, by the way, if you're ever curious to hear about that. Didn't last very long, I was in my fifties when it started, but I took a few young idiots down with me before I ended up falling in battle," I revealed. I let go of Alice's hand and breathed on my hands to help warm them back up. "Thanks, Alice."
"No problem, Izzy," she grinned. "And thank you for sharing part of your past with us."
"Honestly, it wasn't that big a deal. Not even the only life where I encountered the supernatural," I shrugged.
"Really?" Alice asked, eyes bright with curiosity.
"I got lost in the woods, in one of my earlier lifetimes, and was found by a group of the Fae Folk. I spent what felt like a few days with them in their village. When they let me go, I found out that decades had passed. Either they compressed time with magic or psychic power or whatever you want to call it, or my perception of time was just skewed and they kept me young with whatever power they have. I was killed by my village as a witch, of course," I revealed. "I was killed by a Child of the Moon in France during the Inquisition. I was part of a hunt for the beast, and happened to have the bad luck to actually find her. Rather distracting to be killed by something with tits the size of watermelons sticking out her fur. I told Alice about how I was killed by a mermaid when I was a Viking. And I ran into a dragon in the Kunlun mountains when I was a Chinese peasant. Rather cheerful fellow, for all he ate me to protect the secret of his cave's entrance. We had a rather entertaining conversation for a few hours before he decided I wasn't worth the risk of leaving alive."
"Quileute shifters, Fae Folk, Children of the Moon, mermaids, dragons. Plus humans and vampires, of course. And that's just on one planet," Alice mused. "Given we're unaging and rather hard to kill, you might not be surprised that we think about the far future. If and when humanity reaches the point of interstellar travel, I can't wait to see how life evolved in other star systems."
"There might be life just here in the Sol system," I pointed out. "They're pretty sure Europa has a subterranean ocean, and we know water is the breeding ground for life. It's outside the goldilocks zone, but you never know."
"You'll be around for the day we start colonizing the galaxy, won't you?" Rosalie asked, speaking up from her focus on the road.
"One way or another," I nodded. "Even if you end up turning me, if I ever die I'll wake up as a human again… at least, I'm pretty sure. It's possible that the venom will change whatever property about my soul keeps it reincarnating. Now I'm curious. I'm not suicidal… anymore. I gave up after the first dozen times didn't work. Still, the idea of finally moving on to what's next, if anything… intrigues me."
"You tried to kill yourself?" Esme asked in alarm.
"Succeeded, actually. And I just woke up back in a baby's body after each time. I thought electrocution might do the trick and tried again two lives ago when I was born in England when it had gotten a stable grid. I waited until I was old enough to reach everything, then went with a toaster into the bathtub. Alas, I woke up as Beth-Anne Florian. So now I'm just resigned to my eternity of looping. Though now change happens so fast that the next few decades should prove more interesting than the last few centuries combined," I shrugged, nonchalant about my attempts to end my immortal life.
"What's it like to die?" Alice asked, her eyes staring at me.
"I'm not sure you can relate, since vampires don't sleep. But it's like nodding off. You close your eyes and relax and everything just slips away until you forget everything, even your own name. Just perfect peace and quiet. And in my case, followed by a burn at the belly button as the umbilical cord gets cut and I wake up in my newest body," I told her.
"You're kind of like the guy from Groundhog Day," Alice mused. "You lived life until you got tired of it. You tried killing yourself, but it didn't work. And now you're at peace with your existence, just living each day to the fullest."
"I both love and hate that movie, it hits too close to home. At least I had more variety than he did," I shrugged.
"Izzy, dear, I can't pretend to understand what you must be going through. But I want you to know that I'll always be there to listen if you need to talk," Esme said, looking at me with such tenderness.
I grinned at her. "You are a very rare woman, Esme Cullen. Carlisle's a lucky man. And so are each of your children. Sure, I'd like us to be friends."
Her answering smile was dazzling.
"So, what's she of painfully exquisite beauty listening to?" I asked Rosalie.
Rosalie turned on the CD player and Evanescence began to fill the air, the Fallen album if I wasn't mistaken.
"A tad more emo than I was expecting," I commented.
"You were expecting Madonna or Britney Spears?" Rosalie asked tauntingly.
"More Divinyls' 'I Touch Myself', actually," I snarked.
She looked over her shoulder at me in shock, then burst into laughter.
"Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!" I bellowed, alarmed she wasn't even looking when we were going over 100 mph.
"Okay. So maybe an eternity with you in the family might not be quite so unbearable as I thought at first," Rosalie chuckled, turning back to the highway. "I still say you should run far away and hope the Volturi never find you. There are others out there, and we run into them from time to time. Carlisle is against murder unless it's in self-defense, so if any other vampire learns you know the secret and reports us to the Volturi, you're doomed."
"I won't ever ask to become a vampire. But if it comes down to it, I'd rather live as a vegetarian with you all than die. I've never been a vampire before, I'm curious what it would be like," I said casually.
"But you plan to grow old and die otherwise?" Rosalie checked.
"Sure, that was the plan and I see no reason to change it," I nodded.
"Then perhaps we can get along after all," Rosalie said, grinning at me through the rearview mirror.
Alice pouted. "You can't stay human if you end up with Edward. He'd try and kill himself as soon as you died. We can't live without him, he can't live without you, ergo you have to live forever."
"Or he can just find me again when I'm reborn, did you think of that?" I pointed out. "But I see your point."
"What's this about Edward and Izzy?" Esme asked, looking over her shoulder at Alice.
"Oh, come on, it makes perfect sense! Izzy is already in on the secret, so he never has to hide from them. Izzy has that mental shield, so conversation won't be a repetitive chore like it is with everyone else. And, most important, Izzy is cheerful and happy without being pure or innocent. They've seen the dark side and stayed positive by choice and determination. That's exactly what Edward needs to pull him out of his eternal pity party," Alice argued.
"Well, when you put it that way, I certainly sound like a good match for him. But is he a good match for me, that is the question, isn't it?" I reminded her. "Why nail myself down with the immortal brooding teenager? And the recovered serial killer, let's not forget that part."
"Just give him a chance, Izzy, please! He's the sweetest guy in the world, once you peel away all the angst and self-loathing," Alice begged. She clasped her hands together and got the most heartbreaking puppy-dog eyes and everything.
"You're very used to getting your way, aren't you?" I said lightly, not moved in the slightest.
"Almost exclusively," Alice nodded with self-satisfaction.
"There is the fact I'm his singer to keep in mind. If it's a struggle just to not kill me when he's downwind of me, how the hell are we going to have a relationship?" I posed to Alice.
"Carlisle is strong enough he can outright smell open wounds and keep his focus to heal his patients. Edward is as strong as Carlisle in his own way, though he doesn't let himself believe it. I'm confident that with time and practice, you two will be making love without him so much as bruising you," Alice promised.
"I don't believe in sex before marriage, so that's on the other side of college at the least. Hope immortality brings patience," I shrugged.
Rosalie burst into giggles. "Oh, I can't believe it! Another prude! You're right, Alice, they're perfect for each other!"
"I dated the Marquis de Sade. Trust me, I'm far from vanilla. But since I'm demisexual, I can't enjoy casual sex, so I just save myself for my husband or wife most lifetimes," I corrected.
"Are you serious?" Alice asked, wide-eyed.
"Donatien was, and remains to this day, the most… creative lover I ever had," I said. "And that's all I'm going to say on the matter. So, girl talk time! How hung are your men?"
Rosalie painted me a vivid word picture to the point I could probably make an accurate sketch purely off her description, Esme looked like she would be blushing if she were human and just held up her hands in an approximation. Alice gave Jasper's exact dimensions, and I was sure she'd taken a tape measure to his erection to get them. "How about you, Izzy? What's the biggest you've ever taken?" Alice asked.
"As a woman or as a man?" I asked to clarify.
"Both!" Alice asked eagerly.
"I was a catamite in Ancient Rome and my master was, to date, the largest I've ever seen. Over a foot long, thick as a wine bottle, I'm not kidding. He had to fist me to prep me, but oh was it worth it," I chuckled. "And feel free to call this beastiality, but I convinced Taha Aki to take me in his wolf shape one night. The size wasn't the issue, but the knotting took us both by surprise."
"Damn, Izzy, didn't know you had it in you," Alice giggled.
"Hey, I've had more sex than possibly any other sapient being on the planet," I shrugged. "And I can definitively say that technique is more important. I've taken 10-inchers who were rather disappointing and had zero endurance, and I've lost my mind cumming on a 4-incher. And when I'm the giver, let's just say I've had a LOT of time to refine my style."
"I can't wait for you to meet Tanya," Rosalie chuckled.
"I'd like to meet your cousins anyway, even if Edward and I don't end up together. And if any of the sisters are into women, I'd be willing to take a swing at becoming one of their mates," I said with a grin.
We chatted like teenagers the whole, shorter than it should have been, drive to Seattle. We pulled into the city limits at 8:52. The M3 had GPS, and we went to Pike Place Market. We found a parking spot and Alice led me energetically into one of the most popular farmer's markets in the world.
I resisted the urge to buy whatever caught my eye, knowing it would be waiting in the trunk of the M3 all day and most perishables would spoil or thaw by the time I got home. I got some herbs that were in season with plans to make my own garden in the backyard or in a window box. I found plenty of boxed snacks I was just dying to try and Alice bought almost as soon as I decided to get them. I also found an art stand that made the cutest animal figurines, and Alice got me a whole menagerie.
At 10:30, Alice guided me to Starbucks to get a pick-me-up and then we returned to the car. We parked in the lot of Neiman Marcus, I tossed my finished Iced Blonde Latte with an extra shot into the trash, and we waited for the doors to open. Alice was practically vibrating out of her shoes. When an attendant unlocked the doors, she was off as fast as a human could get away with in flats. In her 6-inch stilettos, it was slightly disturbing to see her move so fast and gracefully.
"Can she act human? People are watching," I hissed to Esme and Rosalie.
"There's no stopping the force of nature that is Alice on a shopping spree," Esme giggled.
"Just close your eyes and let her do all the work," Rosalie encouraged.
"Top 10 things Emmett thought on his wedding night," I snarked.
She blinked before chuckling. "Point to you, Swan. But I'll get you back for that one."
The two Cullen women led me to the changing rooms, where Alice already had what should have been too many clothes for a human her size to carry folded over her arm. "We have limited time to narrow down our choices. Put these on," Alice said no-nonsense as she handed me a dressy top, a band of cloth that might generously be called a skirt, and a shoebox.
"You are aware that my dresser and closet only have so much room, right?" I reminded her as I stripped to underwear in the privacy of the changing room.
"Precisely, which is why we're only bringing the best of the best home with us," Alice's voice said to me.
I got into the ensemble, and thus began the repetitive process of me coming out, Alice scrutinizing me, on occasion asking Rosalie or Esme for their input, before handing me the next outfit. I tried very hard not to think about the fact that just one of these arrangements could pay for a month's worth of groceries. I spent hours doing it, Esme going to fetch lunch based on my preferences and Alice allowing me a mere 15 minute window to scarf it all down. When 4:00 rolled around, Alice changed the focus from day and night wear to lingerie. An hour before closing, she took me to examine accessories such as purses, jewellry, and fragrances. At the last possible minute, I helped her, Rosalie, and Esme carry everything to checkout. I deliberately did not look at the register and talked to Esme to try to block out the voice of the attendant when she gave the total. Alice just handed over a black American Express, and that was that. We were the last to leave, they locked the doors behind us.
"Well, we did our best, and that's all that matters," Alice sighed as we carried the dozen or so bags to checkout.
"Can we really make it back to Forks before my curfew?" I asked, checking my new watch and noting we had less than 2 hours.
"I take that as a challenge," Rosalie grinned.
We got dinner for me from a drive-thru and then Rosalie really put the pedal to the medal. We did indeed make it back to Charlie's house before my curfew of 9:00, though I might have lost a few years of my natural lifespan from fright and how close some of the gaps Rosalie had driven the M3 through had been.
I opened the door, and called "I'm back, Charlie!"
"Hey, Izzy. Did you have fun?" Charlie asked, getting up from where he'd been sitting on the couch.
"Fun, not the word I'd used. But it was definitely an unforgettable experience," I said, taking a second to process that I was now safe at home.
"You loved it and you know it," Alice teased as she followed me. "We'll just carry all these bags up to your room."
"Wow, that's… a lot of bags," Charlie gaped as Alice, Rosalie, and Esme walked up the stairs with their arms draped with shopping bags.
"And there's more still in the car. It's a good thing the Cullens are loaded, because Alice could blow through a million in 24 hours if she wanted to," I said in utmost seriousness.
"Right," Charlie said, shrugging and focusing back on me. "So, Izzy, you know how you wanted to thank Billy for the truck? I called him up today, and he invited us to dinner tomorrow night. It's kind of a group thing, actually. It's at Harry Clearwater's place. Jacob and Harry's two kids will be there, along with some other kids from around the reservation."
"Should I make something to bring?" I asked.
"I think we're covered on the food front, but Jacob and Seth are growing boys so I'm sure if you make something it won't go to waste," Charlie told me.
I nodded. "Okay, when do we leave for La Push?"
"Around 5:15, we're supposed to get there by 6:00 but no reason not to be early," Charlie decided.
Alice, Rosalie, and Esme took a second trip to get all the bags. I hugged them goodbye at the door. "I'll come in the window to help you put everything away," Alice whispered to me before she waved Charlie goodbye and returned to the M3.
I wished Charlie goodnight and went to open my bedroom window. Alice leapt in with nary a sound a second after I stepped back from it.
"So, you need another piece of clothing for Edward?" I asked.
"Yes, please, it really will help him acclimate to your scent," she nodded even as she began to blur and sort through all the purchases.
"It's getting a bit tiring to give up a piece of clothing each night. Is there anything that would keep its scent permanently?" I asked.
"Your hair. And your blood, of course," Alice told me. "Fingernails or toenails would work too."
I nodded. "Give me a minute." I went to the bathroom and found the shears Charlie used for trimming his mustache. I pulled out a lock of my brown hair with natural red highlights and cut a small chunk of it off. I pulled out the nail trimmer and collected the nails from all ten fingers. Then, taking a deep breath since this body was oddly sensitive to the smell of blood, I told Alice "Stop breathing," and used the nail clippers on the pad of my thumb to break the skin. I let a dab of ruby red build up and blotted it with a tissue. I applied Neosporin and a Band-Aid before putting the hair, nails, and bloody tissue in a ziploc bag. I zipped it shut and went back to my room. I handed the bag to Alice. "Hope this helps."
She gave me a thumbs-up and a grin and blurred out the window.
I showered, taking care not to get the Band-Aid wet, and got in my new silk pajamas before closing the window and going to bed.
Charlie noticed the Band-Aid the next morning, but I explained it away as a paper cut. I got on top of all my homework, cleaned the house, did my laundry, and still had time to make a baked mac n' cheese to bring to dinner at La Push. We loaded into the cruiser at quarter past five, and drove to La Push by the coast. I recognized a few landmarks, but the modern housing threw me off. And a lot of the trees had been cut down. We pulled up to a house with 'Clearwater' written in black bold letters on the mailbox.
I got out, grabbed the still-warm pan holding the baked pasta dish, and walked with Charlie up to the front door. Charlie knocked, and a silver-haired man with red-brown skin opened the door. "Charlie! And this must be Isabella!" he grinned.
"Izzy, please," I grinned.
"Nice to see you, Harry," Charlie nodded, reaching out to shake Harry's hand. "Where's Billy?"
"He's manning the grill out back," Harry told us. "Izzy, is that food?"
"Mac n' cheese, hope it doesn't go to waste," I said, handing it over when he reached for it.
"Oh, rest assured, it won't. Sam, Jared, and Paul are here, and they eat like hungry wolves!" Harry chuckled to himself.
I had an inkling what he meant, and when we stepped through the house to the backyard it was confirmed. Three young men who could only be active shifters were tossing a football back and forth in a game of catch along with a couple boys, one of whom I vaguely recognized from my time visiting Charlie over the summer as a kid.
"Billy!" Charlie called, going to the man in the wheelchair tending to the burgers and hot dogs on the grill.
I looked around, and saw what could only be a mother-daughter pair talking by a table where they were setting up sides and buns. Harry went to lay down my casserole dish. I debated which group to go with, and decided to join the game of catch. I walked within range of the closest with the ball and said "Yo! Izzy Swan. Got room for one more?"
"Oh, Bella!" the boy I'm pretty sure was Jacob Black greeted.
"I go by Izzy now," I explained, if not in great detail.
"Cool, cool. Yeah, come right in," Jacob nodded, tossing me the pigskin.
"So, I'm the pale-face newcomer. What's everyone else's name?" I asked, tossing the football with a decent spin at the tallest shifter.
"I'm Sam Uley," he said in a deep bass.
"Jared Cameron," spoke up the shifter to Sam's right.
"Paul Lahote," said the third shifter, and he was looking at me with wariness.
"I'm Jacob Black. We, uh, used to make mudpies when we were little," Jacob said with an adorable blush. Unlike the shifters, his hair wasn't cropped short. It probably reached his mid-back.
"I'm Seth Clearwater! Youngest, awesomest, and you're eating my family's food tonight," the last boy spoke up with an infectious grin.
"Cool. I'm Charlie's daughter, and he's kind of best friends with Jacob's dad, which is why I'm here. Let me know if you like the mac n' cheese," I said.
We passed the ball for a while, and then the wind shifted. The three shifters' noses flared and they looked at me with confusion and in Paul's case open hostility. "Say, Izzy, you wouldn't happen to know the Cullens, would you?" Sam asked in a deceptively calm voice.
I blinked. How sensitive were their noses that they could detect the trace of the Cullens touching these clothes a day later? Shrugging, I said "I'm friends with Alice, and I'm on good terms with the other 4 kids and their parents. We went shopping yesterday, that's where I got this outfit."
"Izzy, the Cullens aren't very nice people. You should stay away from them," Jared said, in what was probably meant to be concern but came off as a bossy command.
I turned to Jacob and Seth. "Hey, Jacob, Seth, could one of you grab me a soda and the other check with Billy when dinner will be ready?"
"Sure!" Seth agreed, jogging over to the cooler while Jacob, looking between me and the pack with worried eyes, went to consult his father.
I turned to the three shifters, who had closed ranks and were presenting a united front to me. In the language of their ancestors, I said "I'm well aware that they're Cold Ones. Given they only prey on animals, though, I deem them worthy of being my friends. Who are you to decide otherwise, children of Taha Aki?"
Jared's jaw dropped, Paul began to subtly vibrate in a way that indicated an impending shift. Sam narrowed his eyes. "How do you know this language?" he asked me directly.
"I have lived many lives. Whenever I die, I wake up in another body. In one life, I was Anu Ha, third wife of Taha Aki. Does the tribe remember my sacrifice to protect us from the Cold Woman?" I asked.
"Holy shit," Jared breathed, his eyes all but popping out of his head.
In Quileute, Sam said "Your sacrifice is legend. Having seen the damage a Cold One can wreak, I find myself confused why you would consort with the Cullens."
"They're only monsters if they behave like monsters. They try so hard every day to be good, to resist their instincts, to be good people. I can understand if you don't want to get to know them yourselves, but I fully intend to maintain friendships with them," I said implacably. "And there's really nothing you can do to stop me."
"Here, Izzy!" Seth said, handing me a glass bottle of Coca-Cola. He looked from me to the tense shifters. "Wow, you could cut the tension with a butter knife. What were you talking about?"
"The Cullens," I answered honestly in English.
Seth winced. "Ah, yeah. They're kinda a big no-no here on the rez. Has to do with some old tribal legends, kind of need-to-know stuff."
"I understand. But I don't care if anyone at La Push has a problem with it, I'm friends with them and I intend to stay so for as long as we know each other," I shrugged before taking a sip of soda.
"Dad says the food should all be ready in about 10 minutes," Jacob said, coming up to us.
"Cool. So, who's the chick with your mom, Seth?" I asked.
"That's my big sister, Leah. If she seems mean and angry, give her a break. She and Sam had this nasty breakup, but Dad still invited him here tonight," Seth said, scratching the back of his head.
"That must be awkward," I winced. I turned to Sam. "You dump her because you met someone new?" I asked knowingly.
"Emily… her second cousin she loves like a sister," Sam said with an uncomfortable expression.
"Oof, that's rough," I huffed. "Well, if you and Leah weren't meant to be, she'll get over it. How's it going with you and Emily?"
"She doesn't give me the time of day, and when she does talk to me it's to demand I get back together with Leah," Sam sighed.
"Why don't you, Sam? I kinda expected you to end up my brother-in-law, you looked so happy with Leah," Seth spoke up, looking so damn hopeful.
Sam grit his teeth. "I don't even see her anymore, Seth. I don't see any other girls. I only see Emily. And she wants nothing to do with me."
"I got it so much easier with Kim. No drama, just all the luv," Jared chuckled.
"And I, thankfully, remain single and with my balls attached to my body," Paul rolled his eyes.
"How about you, Izzy?" Jacob asked. "I know you just got here, but anyone in Forks you got your eye on?"
"I actually had a date on Friday night, but there wasn't a spark. We're just going to be friends. Alice wants to set me up with her foster brother Edward, but I foresee major issues if we get together. I'm letting him make the first move," I shrugged.
"You and a Cullen?" Sam asked, scandalized.
"Maybe. Up to him, like I said," I shrugged. "Unless of course one of the boys here on the rez snags my eye," I added, letting him know I'd defer to an imprint rather than taking a chance on a vampire.
"I see," Sam nodded, calming down.
"So, what's everyone into for fun around here?" I asked.
I made small talk with the five boys until Billy declared all the meat ready. We went to assemble plates, and the shifter metabolism was as formidable as I remembered. I got raving reviews for my mac n' cheese and we all ate, drank, and made merry. Leah seemed to be pretending that Sam didn't exist, which I supposed was better than catty remarks and barbs. I ate the food, made nice with the adults and Seth, and got up with Charlie to leave along with my emptied casserole dish.
"It was good to see you again, Charlie. And Izzy! You're free to come by any time," Harry said with a friendly grin.
"Thanks, Mr. Clearwater," I grinned.
Charlie and I drove back to Forks, I washed the dish and went to take a shower while Charlie got caught up on the game. I heard a pebble against my window. I checked the backyard, and was surprised to see 2 vampires waiting. I opened the window, and Alice came in, followed a second later by Edward.
"Hey, Alice, Edward. What's the occasion?" I asked.
"Edward figures there's no better test of his control than taking a breath in a room soaked with your natural scent. I'm here to prevent any 'accidents'. If he passes, he'll start talking to you at school as of tomorrow," Alice explained.
I nodded, and made my peace with my life so far. "Well, go ahead."
Edward audibly sniffed. His face contorted like his throat had burst into flames from the inside, but he didn't lunge. "I'm stronger than I thought," he said in a raspy hiss.
"Okay, so you can smell my scent without mindlessly lunging. But we're a far cry from you passing off as 'normal' when you interact with me," I noted.
"What would you suggest?" Edward, taking another breath of what might as well have been mustard gas based on his expression.
I went with my gut and walked right up to him. I pulled the shocked Edward into a hug. "Feel me. Feel my body. I'm alive and vulnerable and completely at your mercy. The venom wants to kill me, but you don't. Mind over matter, Edward."
"You're so fearless," he said in shock, a statue apart from the movement of his lips and the compression of his lungs.
"For one thing, I've grown rather cavalier about death, given I constantly reincarnate whenever I die. If it's for a good cause, I'm perfectly fine with a little, or a lot, of risk. Second, if you did attack, I'm confident Alice could get you off me and then I'd just turn instead of dying. Finally, I believe in the power of faith and positive reinforcement. You're as strong as you allow yourself to be Edward. If you think you can't resist, you can't resist. If you believe you can, then you can. You can press your nose into every major artery if it'll really help, but I'm going to be around your family, so you need to get used to being around me without wanting to kill me. Well, maybe that's unfair. Your inner monster will always want to kill me. But you don't have to unless you allow it free rein," I said into his chest. I knew I was playing with my current body's life, but most of my mind was preoccupied with how fucking good Edward smelled. Like honey and lilac and sunshine.
"Not often someone takes me by surprise," Alice chuckled. "Breathe, Edward. Izzy is trusting you. Maybe it's time you start trusting yourself."
Edward tensed, but I heard him inhale. It was a stuttering thing, his body wincing reflexively from the pain and thirst. But he exhaled, only to inhale again. He did that over and over again, until he was breathing as normally as any human.
I forced myself to pull back from hugging his hard, muscular form to look up at his face. "Did that help?" I asked.
"That was very reckless and irresponsible," he scolded, but a crooked grin was on his lips.
"I'm 17, it's to be expected," I said primly.
Edward burst into musical laughter. He froze, along with Alice. "Your father," he said before he and Alice blurred.
Charlie stuck his head in my room. "Izzy? I thought I heard something."
"I reenact movies when I'm bored," I shrugged. It was actually true. "'Danger? I laugh at danger! Hahaha!'" I said, trying and failing to capture the pitch and tone of Edward's laugh.
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "Why is your window open? You hate the cold."
"Desensitization training," I said. And that had been what was taking place in my room before he came in.
"Uh-huh. Well, have a good night. School's in the morning." Still eyeing me a bit suspiciously, he closed the door to my bedroom.
"Are you two still in here?" I hissed as quietly as I could manage while remaining legible.
My closet opened, and Edward came out silent as a wraith. Alice crawled out from under my bed. "That could have been awkward," Alice said in a whisper.
"Very. Look, exercise done. Edward and I can start interacting at school and whenever I visit your place. Now, with all my love, get out," I told them.
Alice flashed in to peck my cheek. "See you tomorrow!" she grinned before blurring out the door.
Edward grinned down at me. "I don't mean this to sound insulting. But men aren't brave like you just were. Underneath our bluster, it's all bravado. Women's courage is the real deal. And you have the heart of a lion."
"I get where you're coming from. I suppose I can be a weird hermaphroditic lion. Though compared to you, you're the lion and I'm a helpless lamb or gazelle," I mused.
"Don't worry, I think our pride has room to adopt you. You can be a lion by law," Edward chuckled at our odd little extended metaphor.
"Good evening, Edward," I rolled my eyes.
"Good evening, Izzy," he grinned before blurring out the window. I shut it behind him… and may or may not have gone into the closet to see if he'd left his scent on any of my clothes. So sue me, his vampire scent was the most alluring perfume I'd ever encountered.
I went to sleep. I dreamed of my life as Beth-Anne, so it was more like a vivid memory. I'd gone to the cinema one night, before I was married to Gary. I'd heard steps and a man's voice behind me, and I moved fast as I could in my skirts. In reality, I'd just lost track of my pursuer and gotten home safe. In the dream, I looked over my shoulder and saw, clear as day, Edward come up behind my stalker and bite into his neck. His ruby red eyes were as mesmerizing as they were terrifying.
I opened my eyes, wondering if there was some truth to my dream. Could Edward have saved me, in my last life? I saw I'd woken up at 5:30, so I had time. I turned on my computer, pulled up the browser, shot down the pop-up ads, and ran a simple search for 'Beth-Anne Sage, born 1907 died 1983'. I browsed through the image search until I found an old black-and-white photo of my wedding day to Gary Sage. Charlie didn't have a printer, but I wrote down the web address.
I ate breakfast in a hurry and I drove to school, barely stopping to acknowledge Charlie. I parked and went into the main office. Ms. Cope was sitting behind the counter. "Can I help you, Isabella?" she asked.
"Izzy," I corrected absent-mindedly. "Is there a computer with a printer I could use?"
"Sure, dear. Each page is 10 cents," she nodded, pointing to the computer set up in the corner.
I found the image of my wedding day in my previous life and printed it. I handed Ms. Cope a dollar and told her to just keep the change, and went out into the rain. I walked over to the parking lot, where Alice was waiting by the Volvo with Edward and Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere in sight.
"What a small world!" Alice said with a wave.
"Do I even need to ask if you recognize her?" I asked Edward, handing him the printout of the photo.
He stared at the photo, his butterscotch eyes wide. "I remember her… you. You were the planned victim of a rapist I killed."
"So, as one of the many people you saved, I want to thank you, Edward. Maybe you were in the wrong to kill and drink those lowlifes. But if you hadn't, I might not be here. I could have died that night, and I'd have woken up in a completely different body, possibly in a different part of the world. Instead, you were my guardian angel that night, and I lived a long, happy life before it ended and I became Izzy Swan. I want you to think about that, of how many lives you saved even when you fed on humans. I'm pretty sure if you counted, it's more than the number of lives you took," I told him solemnly.
I turned and left him to ponder that. I got to Building 3 and sat next to Eric. "Morning, there, good buddy," I grinned, sitting next to him.
"Hey, Izzy," Eric grinned. His acne was acting up, but once it cleared up with age he'd be quite the looker, I was sure.
"So, as we're now mutually out of the running as each other's high school sweetheart, I need to hook you up ASAP. Who you got your eye on?" I asked him.
Eric blushed. "You don't have to do that, Izzy."
"Come on, let me be your wingperson. Give me a hint," I needled.
"Don't think less of me. She sits with Jessica at lunch," he admitted.
"Ah. So she's been exposed to the bitch virus. But hey, no reason to give up on her, she's probably not a terminal case yet. She's still salvageable," I said dramatically.
Eric burst out laughing. "You are too much for this tiny town, Izzy."
"Yep. You're all gonna choke on me by graduation," I nodded with a grin.
I wheedled out of Eric that the name of his crush was Katie Marshall. For the sake of our friendship, I volunteered for a scouting mission into enemy territory and planned to sit at lunch with Jessica and her clique. Eric tried to dissuade me, but I was a stubborn creature, no matter what life I was living.
I got through English, Government, and Trigonometry. At the end of Spanish, I turned to Jessica. "So, Jessica, is it okay if I sit with you at lunch?"
"I thought you didn't want to be friends," she said, eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"I did some thinking over the weekend and realized I was maybe a bit unfair in writing you off just like that. I'm willing to give you another chance if you're willing to give me one," I said with what I hoped was a convincing smile.
"Well, okay. But, like, do you still think you're not a girl?" Jessica asked warily.
"Yes, I'm still non-binary. It's kind of built-in," I said, reaching for patience.
"Maybe we can talk that out at lunch!" Jessica said brightly. I sensed what she really meant was she and her friends could gawk at the circus freak in their midst, but I was doing this for Eric.
We chatted about banal topics like Lost or our hair on the way to the cafeteria. We got in line, I shot a long-suffering look at an amused looking Eric, and sat with Jessica at her usual table. Introductions were made and I met Samantha, who I had Government with, Katie (whom I was here to feel out), Lauren, Lee, Angela, Austin, and Connor. Lauren was a total queen bee bitch and proud of it. Head cheerleader, big surprise. Samantha and Lee were her hangers-on or sidekicks, depending how you saw it. Katie was captain of the girl's volleyball team and got to sit here as one of the 'popular' girls. Jessica was the school gossip and served as spymaster in Lauren's court. Angela was a sweet girl, the daughter of the local Lutheran pastor. She was shy and sweet and I sensed she and Jessica had been friends as kids and Angela hadn't wised up and left once Jessica became so shallow and vain.
"So, Izzy, what was Phoenix like?" Jessica asked once I knew everyone's names and some background info.
"Big, it's five times bigger than Seattle. Flat, too, there's almost no hills, everything is in this big valley. Sunny and clear most days, nothing like it is here. The saguaros look like modern art sculptures sticking out of the sand, all sharp and angular. The sound of the cicadas drove me crazy each summer. There was a big eucalyptus tree in the yard of my house, so home always smelled like cough drops to me," I admitted honestly. Hey, Jessica might be a lost cause, but I could try and bond with the others and see if any of them were decent people past the high school facade.
"And, like, when did you decide you were, you know, not a normal chick?" Jessica asked.
"Jess, that's kind of rude," Angela scolded softly.
"It's a fair question," I shrugged, my skin too thick to be offended by this small girl from this small town with her small mind. "I always felt like there was something 'off' about me, something not quite in sync with my body. I was just browsing the internet and found out about non-binary people. I realized that's what I was. The gender I identify as is 'androgyne', it means I'm a blend of masculine and feminine traits while remaining distinct from both."
"So, what, you're a he/she?" Lauren asked with a sneer.
"I'm not trans, a man in a woman's body," I said, keeping calm by the skin of my teeth. "I'm non-binary, I don't fall neatly into the black-and-white male/female dichotomy. I'm one of the shades of gray in between."
"Wow. How… sophisticated," Jessica said, clearly thinking something much ruder in the privacy of her thoughts.
"So, Katie, any big games coming up?" I asked my target, the reason I was here in the first place.
"Oh, no, the season's in the fall. We're just training for the rest of the year," Katie explained. "We made it to State this year, that's something to put on the college apps," she grinned.
"Nice. You know, I'm friends with Eric Yorkie on the paper. I'm sure he could do a feature on the team or something," I suggested.
"Oh, cool," Katie grinned, apparently happy to get the notice of the school newspaper. "Tell him I'm up for an interview whenever he's free."
"I'm actually the photographer for the paper," Angela spoke up. "Maybe I could take a candid or two for the feature, make a real headliner out of it. It'll have to wait for March, though, the February issue is full."
"So, Izzy, those are nice clothes you're wearing," Lee noted.
"Oh, yeah, I'm friends with Alice Cullen and she invited me shopping on Saturday. If you value your life or sanity, don't agree to the same. I just barely survived Hurricane Alice as she tore off my clothes and stuck new ones on me," I said most severely.
The kids stared at me like I'd just conjured fire from thin air. "You're friends with the Cullens?" Austin asked in shock.
"Yeah, why does that surprise you?" I asked back, honestly at a loss.
"The Cullens aren't friends with anyone," Connor said like it was common knowledge.
"Well, has anyone tried to make friends with them since they got here? And flirting with Edward doesn't count," I tacked on.
"Now that you mention it, not really," Samantha thought out loud. "It's just… they're so unapproachable," she said, like she was hoping I'd get what she was trying to convey.
"Well, I had summer camp with Edward one year, so I had an in. I talked to them my first day and things seem to be going good with Alice. Rosalie doesn't particularly like me, but Emmett and Jasper are nice," I said in the Cullens' defense.
"Don't waste your time with Edward. He doesn't date. Apparently no girl here is good enough for him," Jessica sniffed.
"Has it occurred to any of you he might be gay?" I posited. I knew he was attracted to women, otherwise Alice wouldn't be trying to matchmake us. But I had to wonder if any of the boys in Forks High that way inclined had had the guts to approach Edward.
"He's too hot to be gay!" Lauren said like I'd just insulted her mother.
"Have you seen Neil Patrick Harris? He's an Adonis and he's dating David Burtka," I pointed out.
"That would explain a lot," Angela mused, looking over her shoulder at the Cullens' table. I noted Emmett was practically pink with glee and nudging Edward, who had a long-suffering expression on his face.
"Then again, maybe he's straight but just really shy," I spoke up, wanting to make it easier on the redheaded vampire. "Just because you're painfully attractive doesn't mean you have high self-esteem. Maybe he's tired of girls only being into his looks and shoots them down out of habit since no one wants to get to know the real him."
"Oh please, he's sex on legs. No way he's not super confident," Lauren rolled her eyes.
Okay, I officially had a lower opinion of Lauren than I had of Jessica. And that bar had been set pretty far down. "So, Angela, you like photography?" I asked, trying to redirect the conversation.
"Oh, yes, it's my favorite hobby," she grinned. "I love looking at the world and finding those one-of-a-kind sights and capturing them so others can see."
I kept up a conversation with Angela for the rest of lunch, getting up as soon as I finished eating and making for the Biology building. I sat down at my table, noting Mr. Banner was putting microscopes on each table.