Chapter 15
Heath threw himself into the work of the ranch. He was up before the sun and came in long after it set. Nick had offered to let Heath take some time off and Heath did for a few days to make sure Harper had regained her strength. She insisted they move back to their little house and Heath was glad. He needed to put some space between himself and the Barkleys.
Heath couldn't explain why but he was angry. Certainly he was grieving over the loss of his son but it was more than that. He chose to focus his anger on the family that lived in the big house. The hands all noticed the man was not in the mood to be crossed so each of the hands did his work and left the blond cowboy alone.
Nick watched from a distance, never finding fault with Heath's work or his instruction of the men. Still, he wasn't the patient man he'd come to know.
Jarrod, Nick, and Victoria decided to hold off on any further discussion about who Heath was. The younger ones, as Audra and Gene were often referred to in the family, would need to be told and none quite knew how to go about that. They didn't want to shatter the image Gene and Audra had of their father. Victoria had come to terms long ago that her husband was an imperfect man. Nick and Jarrod – while they loved their father – knew him as adults and had seen the man's flaws. The fact that Heath existed was a blow to them but agreed none of the fault lay with the young foreman.
Gene was due home from school on break in a few weeks and that was when they'd meet as a family and discuss how to proceed. The death of Heath and Harper's son further pressed upon them that they should delay any decisions.
Nick was in the barn when he heard raised voices. Rather, one raised voice. He stepped out to see Heath laying into one of the hands. It had been almost 8 weeks since the death of his son, and while Harper still had a sad look about her, she appeared to be healing and throwing herself into the work of keeping their small home neat and tidy as well as taking care of their daughter who they had named Gabriella. Recently, Nick had seen her outside bringing clothes in off the line and he helped her carry in a couple of baskets. She smiled at his kindness and thanked him.
Heath, however, seemed stuck, as though he couldn't get past the event. Even the way he walked was different. Before his gait was loose and relaxed. Now he walked as though he were wound up tighter than a clock, ready to spring on anyone who crossed him.
Nick waited for Heath to come into the barn wanting to speak to the man alone. Heath walked in with Charger, placing him in a stall. He began to take off his saddle, working quietly.
"I know Pete's a bit much but did he deserve that?" Nick asked after a time.
Heath speared him with an angry look.
"You got a problem with how I'm handling the men?" Heath snapped, walking over toward the other man.
"I do when it's undeserved."
Heath squared up on Nick, blue eyes narrowing.
"I told him to head out to relieve Starns. He waited over a half hour to get going. If the man can't do what he's told when he's told, then maybe we need to find someone else," Heath replied angrily.
Heath turned to walk away and Nick placed a hand on his shoulder. Heath whipped around and drew back his fist, ready to punch the hazel eyed man.
"Do it. God knows you're so angry it might actually help you," Nick said quietly. Heath clenched his jaw. He wanted to punch someone but knew Nick wouldn't be the wisest choice.
Heath took a breath and stepped back.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"Look, Heath. We all want to help you and Harper. We just don't know what to do."
Heath returned to the stall where Charger was and continued to bed him down for the night.
"We don't need your help," he said, trying to control his temper.
Nick walked over to Heath, standing by with his arms folded over his chest.
"You need something. Even just a night on the town. I know I don't know how you two feel-"
Heath charged at Nick, this time not caring that the man was his boss. He stuck his finger in Nick's face.
"That's right. You don't. You have no idea the sorrow of losing a child. You live in a big house and have had every need you've ever had met. When have you ever gone hungry? Or thirsty? You've never had to watch your mother struggle and be called a whore. I bet when your mother dies she'll be buried in the church cemetery without a second thought. Instead of being told you can't bury her there because she slept with a man and had a baby out of wedlock."
Nick didn't say anything as Heath raged on. He felt his heart constrict at what the man was saying.
"What do you care for, anyway?" Heath continued. "I'm your father's bastard son. I'd think you'd be happy if I punched you now so you could get rid of me!"
Heath's fist caught Nick under his chin and Nick stumbled back. Out of reflex, Nick punched Heath back but felt immediate remorse. Heath stumbled back and fell to the ground. He didn't move, but sat with his head hung low.
"Nick!" Nick heard his sister's voice. He turned to see Audra staring at him and then she looked over at Heath.
"Audra," Nick started but she shook her head.
Heath stood and walked past the two quickly and left.
"What did he mean?" Audra asked, her blue eyes filling with tears. "He's Father's son?"
Nick ran his hand over his face and nodded. Audra began to cry and Nick reached out for her. He knew their mother and Jarrod would be angry with him that Audra had found out as she had. He also knew he couldn't change anything now.
"Let's go inside and talk to Mother and Jarrod," Nick suggested. Audra nodded and the two walked toward the house.
"How long have you known?" Audra asked, still reeling from the information she'd just found out.
"I suspected the first time I saw Heath," Victoria told her daughter. They were sitting on the settee in the study, Victoria with her arm around Audra. "I talked to Jarrod about it and then Nick figured it out."
Audra took a deep shuddering breath.
"How could Father…?" she asked emotionally. Audra had adored her father. He could do no wrong in her eyes.
Victoria looked at her sons. Jarrod had been livid with Nick at first but once Nick had explained what happened, he realized he couldn't have known what Heath was going to say or that Audra would have been there to hear it.
"Audra, you're old enough to know that your father wasn't perfect," Victoria said quietly. "He was a wonderful man. A wonderful husband and father. He didn't always make the right decisions. Heath should bear no blame in that."
Audra nodded. Jarrod sat on the table in front of Audra and took her hand.
"Honey, all you need to remember about Father is that he loved you. That doesn't change."
"Did he know about Heath?" Audra asked. Jarrod took a deep breath and glanced at Nick and their mother.
"We don't know," Jarrod admitted. "I imagine if he had he would have done something…"
"Heath said his mother was called a…whore…that she wasn't allowed to be buried in the church cemetery," she choked out the words. Victoria's brow furrowed. Jarrod's blue eyes showed their anger.
"People are cruel. Heath's mother didn't deserve that," Victoria said quietly.
"I'm going to go talk to Heath," Nick said, only to be stopped by his mother's voice.
"You should wait, Nick. Give him time to cool off. We had planned to wait until Gene was home this weekend but maybe we should meet with Heath and Harper earlier?"
"Gene needs to be here," Jarrod insisted. "I'll leave tomorrow morning and bring him back. His classes are over. He was staying to help one of the professors but I should be able to have him back by tomorrow night."
With those arrangements made, everyone went their own way, no one interested in dinner. Audra turned in early and cried herself to sleep. Mourning not only for the loss of the image of her father but for the hardship she knew her new brother had endured.
Harper watched as Heath pushed the food around on his plate. She'd felt his anger for a while, wishing she knew what to do to help him. She'd hoped he could work it out while out on the range but each evening he seemed worse. He never took his anger out on her or the baby, but Harper knew he was miserable.
Still in the middle of her own grief, she longed to reach out to her husband but knew instinctively he needed time.
Heath couldn't get his mind off Audra and how she'd looked when she heard what he'd said. He hadn't intended for her to find out as she had. He didn't know what would have been the best way but certainly not he and Nick coming to blows and then Heath saying it in anger.
Gabriella started to cry and Harper got up from the table to tend to her. She whispered loving words to her daughter and Heath felt tears springing to his eyes. He wished he were a small boy again so he could run to his mama and have her whisper those same loving words. He'd do almost anything to feel better than he did at that moment.
Harper knew the baby wasn't hungry but she did need to be changed. After taking care of her, she fell back asleep and Harper went back to the table. She looked at Heath and saw the tears on his cheeks.
"Oh Heath," she whispered. He looked up at her and then began to sob. Harper stood and wrapped her arms around him, her tears falling as well. He stood and took her in his arms, holding on tightly, needing the physical contact with his wife.
Harper pulled back and to look into her husband's eyes. She hated seeing the sorrow in them and reached up to place her lips on his. He responded by pulling her closer, kissing her back hungrily. Harper began to undo the buttons on his shirt and Heath pulled back, questioning her.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
Harper smiled.
"Gabriella will sleep for another hour or so. I'm sure. Please, Heath," she begged. Heath picked up his wife and took her into the bedroom. Their time together was frenzied and neither felt the need to take things slow. Heath wanted to be gentle to not hurt his wife but Harper wouldn't let him. They each needed the release that only the other could give and neither wasted any time. Each found their fulfillment and they both collapsed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat.
Gabriella chose that moment to begin to cry and Harper moved to get her.
"Let me get her," Heath said. He pulled on his discarded pants and went to the other room, bringing Gabriella to her mother. Harper was sitting up in bed, covered in only a sheet. She began to nurse the baby and Heath lay next to her.
"I love you, Harper," Heath said quietly. He leaned in and kissed Harper and then the top of Gabriella's head.
Once she baby was fed and burped, she lay between her parents. Heath told Harper about what he'd done, from lashing out at the ranch hand to arguing and punching Nick to realizing Audra hearing everything he'd said.
"I couldn't keep all that anger in anymore," he confessed. He covered his eyes with his hand. "And it wasn't just the anger I felt over our boy. I thought about my mother, and her life and how hard it was. Of not being able to even bury her in a proper cemetery…"
Harper put her arm around Heath's shoulders and he leaned into her. He couldn't imagine having to go through all of this without Harper by his side.