A peek into a 14-year-old Shirou's daily life. I made it into two parts (A&B) since it'll take some time.
Enjoy!
A Fourteen-year-old's Daily Routine (PartA)
A hand gloved in white reached up and rapped its knuckles against the black ebony door three times.
"Mr. Kishima, here is your drink, sir."
"Come on in, boy."
The red-haired teenager dressed in a smart butler suit and a white shirt stepped inside the velvet carpeted room. The grey puff of smoke that erupted from the corners of the guest's mouth was the first sight that greeted him.
Bowing once, the boy entered with a tray balanced on one hand. On top of it, there sat three large bottles of whisky, one pile of ice cubes, and a set of whisky glasses.
The room itself was spacious enough to fit several Olympic-sized swimming pools and extravagant enough to put a royal suite of a world-renowned five-star resort hotel to shame. The absurd amount of luxury the room provided was accentuated by the fact that it indeed contained an inside pool and a sauna, along with a sofa that is the size of several king-sized beds.
The guest in question was suspended midair by only the tips of his toes with his legs stretched apart in a straight horizontal line, each toe hooked onto the back of a chair facing in the opposite direction.
What was even more frightening, was the unbelievable fact that he had a literal ton of weights strapped onto each thigh, and he wasn't even sweating.
His eyes held a perpetual look of boredom, while his face was fixed in an unbothered, almost placid expression, his tranquil gaze trained on a TV that was built into the wall, and his breathing steady as if he was completely unfazed by his superhuman act.
Being a huge man of intimidating build, the man's body was packed with iron muscles that screamed death. One large hand swept his wild black hair back in a single swipe, while the other flicked a gold coin in a seemingly random direction with his thumb.
Spinning and twirling in the light, the round piece of gold traveled across the room, ricochetted off the tables, bounced off the corners of a cabinet, and hit the ceiling directly above, finally altering its trajectory into a beeline for the boy's front pocket.
Rolling his eyes at his mentor's theatrics, Shirou Kotomine caught the coin by simply touching its dead center with the tip of his index finger and dissipating the force behind it entirely. The slightly vibrating coin sat there, balanced precariously on the very tip of his fingernail.
While at the first glance Shirou's act may seem lackluster, in truth, this was nothing but a masterful display of great skill.
"Finally learned how to 'kill' the momentum by vibration, didn't you? It's about time you mastered that paltry trick."
Shirou merely rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"If I recall correctly, this gold coin is from the vault of Roman emperor Lucius Tiberius. It's worth at least a thousand dollars, Mr. Kishima."
"You are correct. Surely, you wouldn't refuse a tip from your dear guest and mentor. That is also the price for you to stop calling me 'Mr'. It gives me the fucking creeps."
Shirou sighed, opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head, apparently deciding that it wasn't worth the time.
"Then, I shall humbly accept...Shifu."
Kouma Kishima snorted.
"Hmm. A lot better."
With a backflip, he leaped into the air from his suspended yoga position, spat out his cigarette, then proceeded to snuff out its entire existence with a vertical roundhouse kick. The half-burnt ashes drifted down like snow, dusting the carpet with white spots.
Kouma cracked his neck and reached out for a bottle of whisky on Shirou's tray as the teen waiter stood ramrod straight.
With a casual flick of his thumb, Kouma effortlessly decapitated the neck of the thick glass bottle. He then crammed an entire fistful of ice balls into his mouth, after which Kouma directly poured the entire bottle of burning liquor down his throat and crunched on the ice balls like they were candy.
"...Of course. The whisky glasses are of no need.", Shirou muttered. "Should've known."
"Don't go too hard on yourself, boy. Heaven knows how a hairless virgin brat like you get this job. That being said...isn't a more experienced butler supposed to serve me? Why are you here?"
"That's true for most cases. This is an exception, for your contribution to the Gilgamesh Corporation upgraded your status from patron class to a first-class VIP at Queen's Parlor, to whom which I was ordered to personally attend to."
"Huh. Gilgamesh does have the most eccentric career choices...never mind. How much did she offer to pay you to make you into her personal lapdog?"
"3'000 US $ per night is an offer that is hard to turn down, especially when I am not exactly swimming in gold or blessed with bottomless wealth."
"Oh-ho...does your employer tip you for your...nightly services? "
"While I am flattered by how you think I'm worthy of such tips, I'm afraid I must state that such extra options are not on the menu."
"Hah! You wish. You've gotta pay me more that that meager amount if you want me to fuck you."
Shirou rubbed his temples with his free hand and sighed.
"For god's sake...if there is nothing else, I shall take my leave."
Kouma dismissed Shirou with a wave of his hand, in the same manner a man shoos off a stray dog. Shirou didn't seem to mind, too happy with the fact he can go on his merry way.
"One last thing, kid.", Kouma called out to Shirou's back. "Try not to get raped by that woman. She's really into despoiling you for some rotten reason."
Shirou merely tilted his head in conformation, his back still facing his mentor.
"I have...contingency plans."
Something rippled in the empty space beside Shirou. Kouma chuckled.
"Cute. A babysitter dragon to the rescue. What is she going to do, fuck you instead?"
Shirou sighed for what seemed the tenth time this night.
"Please stop baiting my servant, Mr. Kishima."
The ebony doors slammed shut behind his back.
Gilgamesh tapped her wine glass with a slender finger, her crimson slit pupils trained on her personal boy-toy.
The queen sat on a posh white leather couch while clad in a thin garment of wine-red silk. It was similar to a dining dress except with greek properties, such as revealing cleavage at the breasts and back in a way that coaxed more imagination than being simply naked.
It was as if she had fashioned out a dress from the crimson girdle she usually wore under her armor, and they both knew it perfectly matched her creamy white skin and divine tattoos.
Gilgamesh was thoroughly aware of her perfect figure and knew how to take advantage of her beauty, as well as how to use her radiant charisma and awe-inducing presence to her benefit. She had been trying to get a rise out of Shirou from day1, and she had been trying to seduce and corrupt him ever since.
Much to Shirou's dismay and chagrin, She had taken a great interest in his existence and was somehow entertained by his presence in this, quote; 'stale modern world'.
This extended to his daily life, where Gilgamesh started persuading him to work as her 'personal butler' on holiday nights.
Of course, Shirou was far from stupid and he had a sense of self-preservation. He knew that he would be stepping into the lion's den, and he had no intention of being eaten alive.
However, this was as far as he went, since Gilgamesh was nothing but persistent, eloquent, and lucrative in her business. The queen did not take no for an answer, and Shirou didn't want his church to get blown apart for a second time.
Thus, he had no option but to fold, under the condition that he is allowed to choose his working hours and for Artoria to accompany him as his 'chaperon' at all times.
He wasn't that suicidal to spend time alone with Gilgamesh.
So there they were, sitting side by side on a couch that would've cost more than his church. And as far as Shirou was concerned, there was no intimacy between them, and he would not let down his guard.
"This reminds me of our first meeting...you were filled with so much fire.", Gilgamesh purred in a seductive tone as she leaned her head against his chest. Shirou grimaced.
Contrary to getting offended, Gilgamesh merely snorted in mirth at his apparent discomfort. Shirou's scowl deepened.
Many would've killed for the position he was in right now. Countless employees, both male and female, cried bloody tears over how lucky he was to be their CEO's 'chosen', and how he should be eternally grateful to be graced by her 'favor'.
Shirou begged to differ.
"I apologize, my queen. I was...immature, unstable...so full of myself that I had no sense of logic. To blame you for the faults of man...the absurdity of it all. The irony that you were the one who most valued their...our, independence."
Gilgamesh scoffed and flicked his ear.
"Stop that formal 'priest' talk, Shirou. It suits you not. It's giving me goosebumps."
'Why does everyone except Saber diss me when I try to talk politely...?'
His face must have shown his thoughts, for Gilgamesh leaned forward with a sly grin. Her ample breasts pressed into Shirou's arm. Shirou wanted to barf.
"What would you feel if your father suddenly decided to act all proper and nice?"
"Point made."
Realizing he had said that out aloud, Shirou coughed and continued.
"Formalities aside, I truly am grateful for your wise advice. If not for you...it would have taken me forever to realize the obvious. To think that it took me so long to accept the truth laid out before my eyes...no matter how infuriating it was, there should be no excuse."
Gilgamesh hummed for a few seconds, her penetrating gaze on his face. Finally, she shrugged.
"Fine. I shall accept your most sincere yet fraudulent words. Only if you show me your improvement at handling your origin, that is."
Shirou's grimace settled down, raised a family, and started to pop out little grimace babies. A man who's been told that his dick would rot off might have been more cheerful.
Nonetheless, he knew that Gilgamesh would keep pestering him until she got what she desired. With a shake of his head, he reached out his arm, his palm faced upwards.
"Curse Reversal: [Type] : Sacrament: [Code]: Black key: [Set]: Shadow Bind."
A single glyph appeared above Shirou's palm and from it a slender rapier-like sword took form. It hovered in place even as he lowered his arm, with the glyph rotating slowly in the air.
"Mmm...curse reversal...more like a sacred sacrilege. As for the magecraft...one of the anti-vampire weapons of the Holy Church. An advanced formula with high efficiency for something that could be so easily mass-produced. If only modern society was like this..."
Shirou ignored her words and waved his arm, dispelling the sacrament and erasing his black key.
"Did this satisfy you, Gilgamesh?"
Gilgamesh tapped her chin with a thoughtful look and snapped her fingers in the most deliberate manner Shirou had ever seen.
"Show me both at the same time. I know you have mastered another trick in your arsenal.", the queen said. "Don't attempt to fool me. I know you are capable of exercising basic miracles.", she added with narrowed eyes when Shirou opened his mouth to refute.
Shirou shrugged helplessly and sighed in resignation. With a heavy heart he raised both arms, his palms pointed forward. Rings of glyphs started to circulate both arms as they were set aflame in contrasting colors; his right arm a reddish black and his left arm a bluish white.
"Curse Reversal: [Type]: Miracle: [Code]: Right Hand: [Set]: Safety Shut down: Evil Eater.
Charm Reversal: [Type]: Miracle: [Code]: Left Hand: [Set]: Fault Tolerant: Xanadu Matrix."
The queen smiled imperiously like a cat that massacred and enslaved the entire canary race.
"A connection to a Thaumaturgical Foundation for multiple purposes... an almighty key of sorts that opens a channel to effectively use any sort of Magecraft without the required training or knowledge. A nice little trick you have there."
Shirou groaned and cut off his connection with a soft whoosh.
"It only grants me a mediocre level of mastery at best. If I were to fight an experienced mage, they would easily wipe the floor with me. It is basically a Jack of All Trades who doesn't actually know his own trade."
Gilgamesh's ominous smile widened. Shirou felt a shiver run up his spine.
"Then, you only need to learn your trade. Fret not, for I shall most generously extend my assistance to you."
The queen's body was now practically draped across his body like a very soft and warm pillow. He found himself gazing into her burning eyes and her lips inches away from his own.
It was intoxicating in a trance-like way, and he found himself being slowly pulled in, deep into her embrace. He was the young rabbit ensnared in the viper's vice, and there was no way out.
Unless, that is, if he hadn't prepared his contingency plans.
"Hands off the merchandise, gold harlot. He is my master and mine only.", Artoria Pendragon of the black grail growled.
The darkened tip of Excalibur was pointed at the back of Gilgamesh's head, ready to spear through it at a moment's notice.
Gilgamesh chuckled as if her head wasn't milliseconds away from exploding into a million shards of gory little bits.
"My oh my...the little black knight comes to the rescue."
The queen leaned back and stretched her arms, lifting herself up from Shirou's paralyzed form. The corners of her lips quirked upwards.
"Do not fear, black lizard. You can taste him first...if you can."
Artoria's eyes glowed bright gold. Her face contorted in a feral snarl, and raging fury threatened to force her hand.
Shirou shook his head and touched his knight's arm. With great reluctance, Artoria slowly sheathed her blade, though her eyes continued to burn holes into her adversary's mocking face.
Gilgamesh blew Shirou a kiss.
"I'm afraid this is the end of our night. Do visit me if you need a guiding hand. Or a body to lean against."
Artoria hissed like a cat that nearly had her kittens murdered.
Shirou slapped a hand to his forehead and sighed deeply for one last time.
Nightingale looked up from Shirou's medical records with a satisfied nod.
"It looks like you are taking good care of your body. I am most relieved by this improvement in your self-awareness."
Shirou bowed his head in his seat.
"It is thanks to you that I managed to pull through all this insanity. Your knowledge and practice in medical science are astounding, and I'm truly thankful that you taught me how to...patch myself up. I couldn't have been more fortunate to have you as my nurse."
It was from the bottom of his heart that Shirou said those words of gratitude and praise. Heaven knows what would have happened without Nightingale's iron fist.
Both in the literal and metaphorical sense.
Nightingale's scrutinizing gaze softened. She reached out one gloved hand and patted his head as if he was still a child. Which he definitely still was in her eyes.
"Continue to take care of yourself and don't forget to register for a periodical medical examination for a second opinion. Do NOT forget your weekly check-ups for I swear to God all mighty that I shall hunt you down and burn down all obstacles which are hindering your health to the ground and send them back to the pits of hell."
Florence Nightingale stared at Shirou, unblinking. Shirou stared back. The mutual staring continued for an entire three minutes before Shirou finally buckled under her invisible pressure and blinked.
Nightingale narrowed her eyes.
"Are we clear?"
"Crystal clear mam."
Shirou knew for a fact that this nurse was capable of going toe to toe with Kouma Kishima, evidenced by the one time she had tried to 'sanitize' his mentor for crimes of 'child abuse' against Shirou.
He definitely did NOT want her iron fists aimed at him.
A soft smile blossomed on Nightingale's face as she pulled him in for a familial hug. Shirou Kotomine sighed in relief.
Crisis Averted.
Nightingale suddenly perked up.
"Oh, one last thing. Use protection when you have sexual intercourse with those gold and black harlots. God knows what diseases they might carry."
Shirou choked on his saliva.
"Or maybe...should I teach you how to properly have sexual intercourse? It wouldn't do to traumatize you after all..."
Shirou Kotomine fainted.
The next chap will cover our favorite Imouto-chan, Caren Hortensia. A dash of Rin, Bazzet, Artoria and Kirei is also in the mix. What the hell.
And is it only me that sees the similarities between Kouma Kishima (Tsukihime) and Yuujirou Hanma (Baki)?
Anyways, the countdown to Rail Zeppelin begins! Review to tell me your thoughts, and review anyway to give me moar powah!
X-kalibuuuur, out stone cold.