AN: Keisha's back! So sorry to keep you guys waiting for this long! I've got no idea if anyone is still around to read this and I'm sorry but I hit a serious case of writers block. I felt stuck with the story I didn't know how to continue in a way that would be fair to the characters and the story itself. I didn't want to rush anything. So I started writing this chapter soon after I'd submitted the last one and kept coming back to change things and I've re-written it tons of times before deciding to go with it the way it is now. I slowly want to get this story ahead. I want things to move forward and I slowly want to bring more of the present time into it. Don't worry tough it's far from over. There's still a lot of stuff going to happen in the past. Sorry for the long AN, have fun reading. -Lots of love, as always Keisha

Chapter 23 „Impressions of today"

Back in the past

Caseys POV

So, yesterday I spent most of the day trying to figure Derek out until it tired me out so much that I couldn't make sense of him and I fell asleep... But Today I'm sitting back at my laptop, I've turned its screen carefully away from the door of my room and start typing the Information I own about Derek.

Name: Derek Michael Venturi

Age: 19 Years Old

DOB: 24th May

Height: 5ft 11 inches

Weight: 165.35lbs

Birth Sign: Gemini

Father: George Venturi

Mother: Abigail Venturi

Blood Sibling: Marti Venturi

Half-sibling: Edwin Venturi

Possible Psychological Diagnosis: Split Personality Disorder- There's two of them for sure...

I slam the Laptop shut when I feel his eyes on me and sure as hell he's standing in the doorway looking at me. „What are you doing?" He asks. „Just some work for College. How did your first lectures go anyway?" I answer with a question, my voice is careful because he's not wearing glasses on his nose. I doubt that I am talking to the nice part of Derek, this time. He grins at me and says everything went fine for him and he likes college and holds up a camera for me to see. I vaguely remember him talking about taking photography courses before, but that has been ages ago... Back when he'd made the movie for Aunt Fiona's disastrous wedding...

Dereks POV

I look at Casey and can practicality watch her spacing out on me. I roll my eyes at her while I click a picture of her and marvel at what I see on the tiny window of the digital camera. She really is beautiful and I'm glad she belongs to me, and me only. I even allow myself to smile a tiny real smile while I let my thoughts wander. ´Sure, she's not where I want her to be, not even close yet...But she's moving in the right direction and that pleases me. She will be my perfect broken Princess once I'm through with her training. She is mine and will forever be mine...

Caseys POV

He's been staring at me with this weird passed out glance for like five solid minutes. I wonder if I should disturb him, or is he switching from one personality to the other? Who am I dealing with at the moment? I think it should be the Monster, because no glasses to be seen anywhere and there might be a certain air of playfulness about him, but his stance gives him away. It's him I am dealing with. What does he want? And why is he holding a camera at my face. Before I can so much as blink, I see the flash and it blinds me for a second. Was there a genuine smile on his features, or did I just imagine things? I blink several times, but the expression is gone from his face, it's been replaced by his trademark shit-eating grin and I sigh, not giving in and asking him why he did that, which he is obviously waiting for.

Derek's POV

„My lectures went great. I love the subjects. It's nothing like High School. Here I get to really explore my passions." I have taken a step closer to her with every word I've uttered and watched her expression change from masked wariness to true fear, which she only shows for a split second before steeling herself and showing me her cold eyes. I reach out for her neck and „tsk" softly. „Where's the necklace I gave you? I hope you put it somewhere safe." I am not here to fight with her. I merely want to play around a little. She nods and points at a beautiful box with a lock on it and I nod, satisfied for now. My head is aching and I have no idea why... I think its little goody two shoes trying to get back out, but I've never really felt him physically like this before, so maybe something did actually change...

I shake my head to clear it while Casey continues to stare at me like I've grown three heads or something like that. I reach for her and simply hold her close to me. I am not sure why I'm doing this but I know I need to feel her closeness. Mine, she's mine, forever mine. For once she is actually silent and not fighting me, or moving at all. Sometimes it's little things that can give so much pleasure.

She relaxes a little and I quickly catch a hold of myself and let go of her and back away. She's staring at me through her big innocent blue eyes and I scrunch my nose at the puzzlement in those eyes. She seems to be trying to figure me out. I laugh inwardly. Try all you want honey, but I can't even figure this shit out myself. I turn and make myself at home on her bed while she continues to blink like she doesn't really know what to do. My, my what I could do to you right now... I grin at her mischievously and she gulps regaining her equilibrium. „W...was there something you need?" She asks all business now, while she closes something on her laptop pulling her messy hair out of the bun it was in. I motion for her to come closer and she shakes her head. „Tsk...You know better than that, Case. You should be honored that I'm asking nicely." I say my voice sharp and I grin watching her instant reaction.

She blushes a deep red and flustered she gets up and walks over to me. I pull her down on top of me and laugh at her discomfort. She squirms. „Relax." I say while her hair cascades down curtaining my face. I raise my hand and pull her head back, marking her neck once again. „Der-ek..." She complains softly and I laugh. „What? Nora won't be asking about that and you can tell all of your new college friends that you've got a boyfriend." I say. „Chill." I say when I feel how stiff her body feels against mine.

Caseys POV

The playful glimmer in his eyes makes me uneasy. If he wants to play things won't end that well for me... „You expect me to... chill?" I ask him in all seriousness. He grits his teeth and I lightly push against him, so I can take a breath. „I won't hurt you unless you make me hurt you." He explains. „I don't want you hurting, or playing mind games with me Derek. You've started to really scare me." I say, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever is going on in his brain. Because I have absolutely no idea on how to deal with this. I'm still in my bloody Psych 101 course. I give him a pointed look while he seems to stare off into space.

„So, tell me what courses are you taking?" He asks, while he looks at me curiously. Involuntarily my eyes dart towards my course-plan on my desk. He grins while he picks it up and reads the courses I've picked out for myself, and reads all the leaflets I've collected throughout the day. „Psychology 101, Anatomy Courses, English 001..., Dance classes, Self-Defence classes, Feminist Club, LGBTQ Alliance? Baking Club, Swim Team, Hockey Team...Are you actually planning on joining one of these clubs? And why the LGBTQ Alliance? Last time I checked you liked guys well enough, or have you been keeping secrets?" His eyes are on mine as he asks that question and I cant decipher whether if he sounds amused, mocking, or genuinely pissed off. „I took a walk and everyone I came across thrust a leaflet my way, being a polite and civilized human being I collected them all and waited with throwing them into the bin. And what does it matter to you, even if I started swinging the other way?" I ask scathingly.

Dereks POV

„What it matters to ME is that Dating is off limits to you." I say matter of factly. „What's that have to do with my maybe being a lesbian?" Casey retorts brattily. „Both of us know you're not a lesbian. You might no longer be an overachieving keener anymore, but you had almost zero experience with guys when I met you. How could you have any with girls?" I snort before I laugh out loud. Her expression changes to a smug little grin.

„As you know I went to an All-Girls-Private school prior to S. High. Meaning there were no boys around at that school to date. So we girls had to find other outlets for our hormones." She's smiling at me sweetly while she talks and it takes a whole Minute before her words register in my brain. „You're trying to tell me that you WHAT?" My voice is incredulous. „Yea, my first kiss was with a girl, my first time was with a girl." She says casually, just as if she were discussing the weather. I do not believe her for one second. This is the same over-achieving keener in front of me that wrote a whole essay about the incident „on the stairs" that happened at our high school.

„It's no big deal, its waay in the past. It happened and I forgot all about it, before I the leaflet was thrust in my hand." She shrugs casually. „So...uhm you still thinking about joining them and going all... Lesbian on me?" I ask unsure of how to phrase this question. She looks at me, debating and biting her lip. „Maybe." She says with a glint in her eyes. There's it, the spark that I missed about her. „Are you sure about that? Do I need to remind you just in how many octaves I can make you squeal?" I ask with a dangerous glint in my voice. On cue she shivers and averts her big blue eyes from mine, looking down at the floor. She bites her lip and I can see her thinking, trying to gauge whether if she should try standing up against me...

Present Day

I look around my apartment and let out a sigh as I put away more papers filled up with my neat handwriting and put a label on the binder. „The beginning of college". Those Days were good days in some ways and hard days in others. Back then I'd finally started to grasp what was wrong with Derek. Back then he wasn't as bad as he got in the end. My eyes dart towards the clock and I notice the date. He's been allowed visitors and they keep telling me he's changed... Mom says whenever they visit him he asks for me. Asks what I have been doing, whether if I got my degree, whether if I succeeded in what I'd been meaning to achieve even if he did what he did in the end, before he snapped and got compulsory admitted into the Psych ward. He's spent so much time there... He has undergone so much therapy. The Doctors seem to be so happy with the progress he's made. They say they have been successful in putting together his three different personalities without having to completely re-write his history. They say he's made big jumps. But they are not ready to tell him the news yet. It's been almost two years he's spent there and they keep asking me to visit.

A cry from the other room alerts me and I put away the paperwork and run to pick up my daughter. I gently retrieve her from her bed and shush her. She stares up at me through the big chocolate-brown orbs of her father and grabs me with her tiny hands. „Its gonna be fine, Ashley." I mutter while she hugs me tightly and slowly drifts back off to sleep. I put her back down into her bed and gently ruffle her reddish-brown hair. George says she's a Carbon-copy of her father when he was her age. I smile while I watch her sleeping form. Ashley Mary Venturi... My thoughts turn to her father again and I think about visiting him. The last time we saw each other comes to mind and I quickly shake my head to get rid of the images. I can't think about that now. I can't allow myself to get lost in that memory. I still have to get the rest of my memories in Order. I need to get them all on paper before I can so much as think about visiting him. The mere thought makes my insides clench and a silver of fear trickles down my spine. I'm not ready to visit him yet. I'm absolutely not ready to take that step. I still need to write my memories off my chest. I need to put all of the time we spent together on paper to get all of my memories in Order before I can so much as think about visiting him. I know that someday I'm going to have to tell him about our daughter and that I've bought her up all on my own. Sure Mom and George helped me a lot after the incident which got Derek admitted, but it was still my responsibility. Mom was so proud of me when I told her about my decision to keep the baby and bring her up. George was happy to go along with anything I chose and the rest of our combined siblings didn't have any problems understanding. They were never told the full truth however... I don't know how to feel about the „progress" Derek seems to have made... Someday I'm going to have to tell him about his daughter but before that day comes I need to put all of my memories, all of that time we spent together on paper... It needs an outlet...

AN:Please tell me what you think of this chapter. I've had fun writing and I'm ready to get back into this story. It's going to take me a while for the next Chapter because I'm going away on a Holiday soon, but maybe I'll get another chapter done before my flight. R&R Please