Hey look I did it, updated. Took me long enough, but I should be able to get up the next chapter this week. I know this because I've been editing instead of sending time-sensitive emails that are super important :')
TW for derealisation and anxiety, and a summary of this chapter can be found at the bottom if you don't think you're up for that kind of thing, but still want to enjoy the story. You know your limits and triggers better than anyone else, and make sure to stay safe!
Enjoy
DC smiled at the cameras, her gut churning and twisting. She couldn't see anything past the flashing lights, and she was vaguely aware of Alex posing alongside her, offering different angles for the cameras.
But DC couldn't notice any of it, she was too busy counting in her head, her breaths short and light.
Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
She forced herself to slow down, timing her breathing with it.
Fifteen… sixteen… seventeen… eighteen…
Her head always felt dizzy when she tried to control her breathing like this, but she persevered, hoping to push through it.
Alex grabbed DC's hand, pulling her forward. DC blinked, before following Alex, trying not to look too dazed. Pushing through the next set of doors, DC felt all the air rushed back into her lungs. The room had a soft atmosphere, with a gentle hush of voices and light music playing from the corner.
Eyes locking onto her parents, DC made her way across the room, Alex coming with them. She exchanged polite greetings with everyone going past, Alex carrying conversation with everyone as they moved. When Osmada saw the two of them, she beamed.
"You're looking wonderful, tonight," she said, resting a warm hand on DC's shoulder. "You look so mature, like the proper young woman you are."
DC's cheeks flushed red, and someone cleared their throat. DC turned, looking at Councillor Chester, and elderly man in an immaculate suit.
"Princess Delucia," he said. "It's a pleasure to see you this evening, your Highness."
DC smiled on autopilot, replying "The pleasure is all mine, Councillor. I hear the Rural Rebuilding Initiative is going well."
DC felt better, now. She knew the scripts for these conversations, she'd played this game many times before.
"Its results are better than we could have hoped for," he said. "Hundreds of people have volunteered countless hours to help us strengthen and rebuild." He smiled again, nodding to what he said.
Playing his role in the script. Easy.
"I hear your studies are going well, Princess," he said, looking to her.
DC tried not to overanalyse his stare, saying "I've learnt so much at Akarnae this year—although I am looking forward to Kaldoras break."
Councillor Chester laughed as if what she said was hilarious, but Dc wasn't worried, she knew this was part of the script. "I remember when I had Kaldoras breaks," he said, "How I miss them! But I have a duty to my people, as you will, Princess."
DC's stomach churned at the words, unable to form a response.
Alex came to her rescue. "Do you mind if I steal DC?" she asked. "I have something I want to show her."
Councillor Chester looked at Alex, his eyes widening when he saw the long silver scar on her forearm.
"Of course, Alexandra," he said, smiling. "I've been meaning to catch a word with Florence, anyway."
Dc relaxed as Alex pulled her away. "Thanks for rescuing me. I'm a bit rusty with the socialising, still."
Alex smiled. "Anytime—and I do have someone I think you should meet."
Dc ignored the pit in her stomach, instead following Alex, to a woman with black hair and pale skin.
The woman smiled as they approached. "Your Highness," she said. "Exactly the woman I'm looking for. My name is Violet Ellis."
DC smiled. "it's a pleasure to meet you, Violet Ellis. Are you enjoying the evening?"
Violet waved her hand. "It's alright, I guess. I don't care too much for these functions, but you attend what you must."
Dc blinked, surprised by the woman's honesty.
She laughed, then said, "Don't mind me, though, I've never enjoyed these, and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. I'm here because I founded the Nina Pledge charity."
"Oh, I've heard of that," said DC. "What sort of works do you take part in?"
Violet smiled. "We help kids who experienced upheaval since the war. Our team opened the first call back hotline specifically for children, and we have been receiving up to fifty thousand calls per month. We've brought support to people Medora-wide, and this month alone we have launched a free counselling service for families in need. We run volunteer initiatives for our PTSD patients and made such an impact to so many kids." Violet smiled with enthusiasm, gushing as she spoke. "In the past month alone, we've had nineteen thousand calls, and we've been so grateful to help so many children."
Violet blinked. "Oh, you've caught me rambling. Sorry, Princess, I get carried away sometimes."
DC smiled. "There's no need to apologise, Violet Ellis, it's refreshing to see someone so passionate around here. I'm glad your service is making a difference."
"Speaking of making a difference," she said, fingering her champagne glass. "I was wondering if you would be interested in representing us."
DC's stomach dropped, the world around them fading into a blur.
"Lots of the kids we see already look up to you—especially the young girls—"
DC's eyes darted around—where was Alex? She had nobody to fall back on. She had no escape.
"There are lots of kids who look up to you, about how strong you are. Especially since you were Claimed."
Dc flinched at the words, trying to hide the motion by reaching up to adjust her hair.
Violet didn't miss the reaction. "Of course, there's no obligation, Princess," she said, her voice softer. "This past year has been hard on us all, and it's important to put your own health first."
DC's throat tightened, but she managed the smallest nod.
"However, it would mean the world to these kids to hear from you. To offer some advice or assurances—it doesn't have to be face to face. We could pre-record an interview, or anything!"
DC's skin crawled, and it took every ounce of willpower to resist walking away.
"So what do you think?" asked Violet, smiling at DC. "Would you consider it?"
"I… I…"
The idea sounded wonderful. The perfect, Princess-ey behaviour.
But… she would be a horrible role model. How could she be an inspiration when she was in the same place as all those kids. When she was messed up, too?
"I… I think you—it might be best for me to—I don't think this… would work for me. At the moment. Maybe in the future, sometime?"
Violet nodded firmly, not an ounce of judgement in her gaze. "I understand Princess, you have to put yourself first sometime, and I appreciate your honesty." She smiled, her purple lipstick accentuating her rich umber eyes. "It was a pleasure speaking with you, Your Highness. And know my offer will remain open."
DC smiled, managing to mumble a goodbye before walking away. She walked through the room, eyes darting around to find Alex. It felt like everyone stared at her, at the way she walked, at her hair, at the expression on her face. Was she frowning? Did her smile look real? Did she look as calm as everyone else was?
Her eyes finally landed on Alex, who stood next to the refreshments.
"Hey Dix," she said. "Have you tried the fruit punch?"
DC felt her stomach ease slightly.
She could do this. She could last the rest of the evening.
…
The rest of the evening ended up being three hours, majority of which DC couldn't remember. But now she was back in her room, pacing back and forth as Alex showered. She had managed fine all evening, and even once the dinner was done, Alex kept chatting with her, holding her attention away from her anxiety.
But as soon as she was left alone in her thoughts, DC felt worse. She had energy to burn, despite the late hour.
Energy she used to pace back and forth, routinely running her hands through her now messed up hair.
She… she couldn't stop thinking about what Violet Ellis had said. About what she'd asked of her.
It's not like Violet looked disappointed at her answer—in fact, it was the opposite. She was understanding—empathetic, even.
So why did that make DC feel even worse?
The bathroom door opened, Alex walking out in her pyjamas, hair held up in a towel. She looked at DC, and then at the tracks she wore into the carpet.
"I think you've covered your ten thousand steps today," she said, her mouth quirking.
"You did well this evening," said Alex. "It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be, was it?"
DC pressed her lips together. "I guess…"
"I never did get to ask, but how did you go with Violet? I've met her a couple times before, and she's never boring to be around."
DC sighed. "Yeah, she's nice, I guess. She asked me if I wanted to help her charity, but I was—I said no. I was stressed out."
"Oh," said Alex, sounding… disappointed? Confused?
"Are you feeling better, now? Those events can be exhausting."
DC shrugged, not knowing what to say. "I wouldn't say better, but not as bad as before."
Alex smiled. "That's good, I guess." She reclined back on DC's bed, crossing her legs. "What stuff do you do when it gets bad like that?"
DC tilted her head, trying to think back to the evening. "I… I start avoiding conversations and stuff—to try and save my energy. Is that what you mean?"
"No, I mean more like how you make yourself feel better."
"Oh," DC tilted her head, rubbing her hands together. "I… I've never thought about it, to be honest."
"Really?" said Alex. "I think it's worth it—definitely. Like, what I do when I'm feeling stressed is I go have a sparring match with Zain and Kiya, it helps me clear my head."
DC wrinkled her nose, not finding one-on-one combat with swords particularly relaxing.
Alex laughed at her expression. "Well, that's what works for me. I never said it would work for you. Do you have any ideas?"
DC tilted her head, thinking back over the last semester. "When I had my... my panic attack, then Jordan and I went up to our dorm, and I read for a while. It distracted me."
"Oh yeah, I remember that," said Alex. "You were so quiet, that day."
"Wait, how did you know about that? I never told you I calmed down by reading."
Alex's face grew red. "Oh! Um, you—I saw the—there wasn't—I—" Alex sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Jordan told me. We've been working together for a while, now. To help you."
DC felt a sting in her chest, that Jordan would share that. But… it was only Alex. She wouldn't misuse that information. "What do you mean by working together?"
"Well, we both noticed you were getting distant, again. We both wanted to help without putting any pressure on you, so we worked together."
"But… what else did you do?"
Alex pulled out her TCD. "We mostly shared information together. Like if you were having a bad day, or how tired you were. See, stuff like this,"
Alex handed over her TCD, letting DC scroll through the conversation.
Alex: Dix had another nightmare tonight. I woke up when she left, and she didn't come back for a couple hours
Jordan: Alr, I'll make sure she eats breakfast—you've got med sci up first, right?
Alex: Yep :(
Oh¸ thought DC, as she scrolled through and read another conversation.
Jordan: She's still stressed after the PE exam—not rlly talking with me. You want to try?
Alex: Yeah, I can give it a shot… she might just be tired, tho
Jordan: Yea maybe,, see if she'll talk about it with you
DC scrolled through more and more messages. Some were long exchanges, going over conversations she had with them, while others were questions and suggestions.
"You've been—you've been doing this for a while, haven't you?"
Alex nodded. "Yeah, a couple months, now. And… I guess it worked, because here we are."
DC smiled, giving a soft laugh. "I—my brain's not processing this. I can't believe you've been doing this for so long. All to help me."
Alex smiled. "Of course we're helping you, Dix. We don't like seeing you hurting, either."
DC smiled, her eyes filling with tears, which she desperately tried to blink away.
Alex noticed her glassy eyes and took DC's hand. "I know it's late, but let's watch a movie—the Aquatic Sub-Fiver is good, I've heard."
DC nodded, unable to hold back her smile. "Yeah, let's do that."
Chapter summary:
DC walks past the press and has an anxiety attack, an attack that stays with her as she goes into the quiet ballroom. She holds conversations with various representatives, and is asked by a woman called Violet if DC wants to be a representative for her foundation, the Nina Pledge. The Nina pledge is a hotline arranged after the war to help displaced and distraught children.
DC refuses, choosing to put her own mental health first, but then feels guilty about it afterwards.
That night, she and Alex are sitting on the bed, DC telling Alex what happened. The two of them talk, and Alex reveals that she and Jordan have been working together for weeks to help DC, letting each other know when she's having a bad day, etc.
DC and Alex sit down to watch a movie, and that's all.
Any comments are really appreciated :)