Half a light in my vision, everything was hazy.

I tried to remember the scene.

I couldn't tell where I was.

Breathing. A pulsing heartbeat.

I felt adrenaline flowing in my body as I tried to situate myself. The only thing is that I passed out just before, when..., When...,

What happened?

After some time, I remembered some parts of moments earlier hitting me hard than the physical pain. I saw the computer table and some cockroaches moving next to me.

That image on that computer, the live proof that everything in that living hell happened...,

My head hurts trying to remember that guy I saw on the road, something inside was persistently saying that face is something I should strive to remember.

Memories didn't come, but the headache did.

I stood up from the floor, even though my legs were numb because of the tingling I felt.

The computer disappeared, there was just a message written in blood in its place, with marks of hands next to it, something so cliche, but made me feel a shiver in my body:

"JUST MONIKA"

Those words had much more impact on their own than being written in blood. That fucking cursed phrase symbolizes the monster that I had become.

Nothing would erase my sins.

Right?

I felt nauseous just remembering those days from the game, uncountable days, cycles, Act I, Act II, Act III...

I felt my body shivering; tears flowed involuntarily from my face. I wasn't even sad, it was as if my instincts were telling me that something was seriously wrong with the world itself, and a message written like that was just the beginning of what I was about to experience.

I hadn't described the room last time, but I can do it now: There was only one bed on the computer table, the wardrobe and a battery radio from those old ones near the bed.

The walls were blue. When I first entered seemed like a very innocent place. The message was the only thing that contrasted with the environment, giving a sense of oddness.

So, I glanced at the floor towards the door. I noticed a trail of blood leading to the door.

Whoever wrote it could be somewhere in the house. I had to understand what was going on.

I started thinking about the worst-case scenario: I escaped from the game world, but I was just in another reality, more realistic; the urge to know the truth made me go straight to the door, but when I turned the knob...,

It was Jammed.

As I blinked my eyes, several chains took over the door tying it from all directions, and no matter how hard I tried to force my way out, the chains were too heavy for me to do anything.

I was stuck.

I developed claustrophobia after being trapped in a game.

Who would've guessed it?

The feeling of being trapped untied a knot inside my already disturbed head.

It was like having returned to my life there but being trapped in a horror game world.

I started to punch the door with my fists closed, a thoughtless action that only left me with bruised fists.

The door didn't even move.

Several assumptions came to my mind the most obvious one is that since the start.

I was voluntarily entering a nightmarish world.

I had trusted that woman too much like an idiot child who accepts candies from strangers. So, I had probably fallen into a trap like a stupid again, and they should send me back to fucking hell.

This thought led me to a state of immediate rage.

I began screaming as I pulled the sheets from the bed and hit the walls with my free hands, only hurting myself.

I saw that the mattress had an unusual shape as if it had something inside the foam layer that I couldn't see.

My feelings left my body in a state of inertia, broken by the will to leave that place. I created a horrible scene in my mind: Something would pull me out when I stuck my hand in to look for what was making volume on the mattress.

I tried to put my hand. I was in such a state of alert that the very contact with the foam drove me mad.

My heart raced hat I felt the blood passing through my face vibrating close to my eyes.

I managed to get something out of the mattress.

I pulled as hard and as fast as I could. I walked away from the bed, standing next to the opposite wall.

It was a knife covered in blood.

Seeing that made my legs shake for one simple reason: It was the same knife Yuri used to kill herself.

I could hear her screams of excitement mixed with laughter and groans inside my mind. They sounded like an orgasm and satisfaction by stabbing the main arteries of her body with that blade.

That was Yuri's only way to destroy the despair my tempering was causing her.

I used someone else's inner demons to scare the Player. Then I could make him stop chasing her.

And being with that object in hand...,

I felt an urge.

I should just put an end to myself.

If the laboratory's crew recaptures me, then at least I'd not go into that horrible void again or serve as a guinea pig for more experiments.

I could hear Yuri's voice clearly:

— Erase your existence now. Otherwise, I'll torment you, in the back of your head..., Forever.

I didn't know if I was only suffering from post-traumatic stress hallucinations.

I considered it for a long time leaning on the wall next to the computer table to do that. My survival instincts screamed unceasingly. I heard other voices inside my head begging me to try to continue.

I closed my eyes, looking for a way out, for the answer to all my pains and anguish shouldn't be suicide, like come on, I was celebrating life moments before….,

It was not time yet.

I held the knife in my left hand and began to search the room for clues or some way to escape. I touched the computer table, opened five drawers, and turned over all the papers.

One caught my attention: It seemed written recently, and the writing was cursive, probably made with a pen of black ink. The lyrics were quite shaky, and the poem was unfinished:

Pardon

I have always wanted everyone in the world to like me.

It was my childhood dream.

Time corrupted my thoughts. I discovered that there was only guilt,

It turned into endless agony.

Even if I pardon all the dreadful things..., they did to me every day...,

I couldn't live with the pain inflicted.

Then I discovered that my pardon was invalid,

A sin, an abstract effort,

In the real world.

I was hoping that at least people would return my insane acts of kindness,

But they just wanted to hurt me,

And receive my pardon later.

Unilateral, unidirectional, platonic.

I must pardon myself...,

For a moment, I wondered if that had any interpretative meaning or anything since I was good at deciphering hidden messages. I reread the poem until I realized that the organization of paragraphs was very irregular.

It could show both the mental state of the author or...,

But something calls my attention.

Four, five, three, and two verses per strophe...,

These separate verses didn't make as much sense at first glance. But I started by analyzing in the order that my ideas came out: The word pardon appeared four times in the poem, and three adjectives in the last two verses of the poem referring the concept that two sides didn't complete each other, and the last thing...,

In the paragraph of five verses, there's a metaphor about the realism of things and that empty words couldn't pass through, like the door that locked me...,

So, I started trying to associate those variables just like they do in programming, but by using the things in front of me.

The door separated me from the outside world.

I got close to the door and knocked three times without expecting an answer. Sequentially I said to whoever was on the other side:

— I pardon you. I pardon you. I pardon you. I pardon you.

Remember, there's no reciprocity of forgiveness in the writer's vision.

So, I stuck the knife in the tip of the central chain that pressed against the door and broke the lock, and it worked. Then all the chains broke, and the door was now open to me.

That was the message of the whole poem: Kindness and forgiveness are for dumbs.

Make your way out with brute force.

I felt happy to be able to do it.

I left that room and came across the corridor that connected all the other rooms, dominated by curiosity, I tried to open the doors of the other rooms, but all of them were broken and jammed.

I observed the locks and wondered if the other girls might be trapped there.

But I had my priorities. I had to escape from that house, from that city.

To flee to a place away from this madness.

I walked down the hallway to the living room right at that intersection. Then I heard a voice accompanied by low-frequency noise from a radio.

I had the impression that someone was in that house besides me and created this "atmosphere."

I waited in the center of the room.

That radio was my only connection with the outside world, so maybe I would discover something important.

If I waited for a little longer:

— We return to the studios of Radio No. 0. It's up to you, Robert.

— Thanks, Ms. Laura. Now we go to the news. In Futeki today, we had sad causalities because of the storm that occurred around the city this afternoon...,

I felt what was coming next..., But I remained silent.

— Near the city's access occurred an accident with two fatal victims involving a truck. According to the investigations, The vehicle owned by Markov Laboratory had its brakes malfunctioning and the tires in bad condition. The laboratory representatives stated in an interview that the truck was signed as "OK" in the latest maintenance, and they'll open an administrative process to understand who was responsible for the tragedy.

"I'm someone of luck, for sure." I thought.

— The Investigative Police removed the vehicle and the corpses from the road. STY-017 Road is no longer blocked.

The voice on the radio stopped, and I just heard the noise. It was like the device was changing its frequency by itself. Suddenly:

— Moving on, we remind about a terrible event that turns two years today, and even with all this time, there's no closure for this case. We are talking about the disappearance of Naomi Asaki, a teenager born and raised in Futeki. The police archived the case because the searches were unsuccessful."

The signal has gone after this, leaving a static noise, and then..., silence.

So…., I was for two years inside the sick experiments of the Markov laboratory...,

It felt like a thousand years.

I was standing in the room looking for something to do, trying to find out what was going on, I could look in the hallway rooms, but that was the least preferred idea.

I don't know why. Just a bad feeling...,

I looked at the window panes that led to the kitchen and the backyard. I saw the house's windows covered with concrete. It seemed to be a wall from a mental hospital.

This curiosity led me to the kitchen, and there was blood on the floor dripping from the ceiling.

I saw several footprints going toward the sink.

I imagined what might have happened in that house while I was unconscious. It looked like both a crime scene and a nightmare coming to life.

These windows have pieces of wood fixed to the frame,

"I should be trapped from the outside world with a murderer in the house." I thought.

How there's so much blood here?

The radio synchronized with the sound of the drops of blood splashing from the ceiling. I felt I had to see something in those paintings in the corridor, but just thinking about it wrapped my stomach.

I began to look at the details of the kitchen. Near the sink, there was a face-down portrait. It had left a mark on the wall from which it had fallen, implying that the person who took it down had unhuman force.

I lifted the painting from the sink. It was a screenshot of the game. It was the four of us at the literature club, but the difference was the blurred faces of Natsuki, Yuri, and Sayori.

I took the portrait and saw that on the other side of it was written a message in black ink, in small letters:

"Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

I'll love you forever if you give me your heart,

For me to eat it."

"That can only be a joke. What kind of message is that?" I thought, in shock about what I read.

The big problem was that my mind focused only on the first sentence. It gave me chills and a feeling of disgust hard to measure. That's because "Can you hear me?" is what I said to the Player when I desperately tried to contact him, seeking some help...

I spent a few seconds with the painting in my right hand, thinking about what I'd done and how that environment seemed to feed itself of my very personal fears.

My actions while I was in the game.

Being in the real world had made me see how terrible I was...,

I put the portrait back where I found it, but my imagination began to attack again. I could practically feel something directly in the other hallway staring at me, an inexplicable sense of terror for not being able to see what was behind me.

I could feel my body deciding between fighting and running at that moment.

I squeezed the knife in my hand and turned slowly. I expected the person who had done all that to face me head-on like a hunter sees her prey before the slaughter.

Feeling the peril, I was glancing all over the place..., Feeling that something would...,

Then I turned around.

And had absolutely nobody around.

Or rather, there was SOMEONE, but it wasn't noticeable to me.

I walked back to the living room.

There was a drip of blood concentrated on just one point and various marks of steps on the floor. (these weren't there the last time I was in that room). Next to the radio, I noticed a landline phone.

I picked up the phone, not knowing what to do. It was dead silent, but suddenly a high-pitched voice, just like mine, began to speak:

— Get your ear to the phone and pay attention to what I will say. Can you hear your soul screaming?

— I can't hear you, sorry. What did you say? — I started getting into the game of that voice. I thought it was a clever idea.

— I see. Always very smart, huh, Monika?

— Don't call me by that name! — I changed my tone of voice. I felt anger inside me exploding.

— You still trying to deny your identity..., The past holds you back as much as this place. So, tell me, the young lady with no name..., What's your choice? Would you rather kill other people to be free…., Or die alone, forever trapped here?

That was a provocation about my past, a past stained with blood, even if unreal blood...,

I'm a murderer.

But I still wanted to survive. I didn't want to go back to that flat world and die alone. I was sure about that, so I answered:

— Kill...,

— And you still dare to deny your identity! A dirty, stupid, passionate killer. You love the smell of blood, destroying other people's souls...,

— I was really in love. All that I did was for love, I'm not that horrible monster, and I'm no different than the rest of the people!

— How cute, I almost cried here, dear Miss. You can't hear the cries of your soul. I'll make you listen. You can go now, and you'll find another surprise that I make just for you. And, I've to say, you have chosen the end of your story already, and you'll take the consequences of your choice. YOU'LL NOT FIND HAPPINESS IN ANY WORLD! THROUGH ALL THE CHAINS OF TIME!

The person on the other end of the line hung up, ending that bizarre call. Again, out of my sight, I heard door knocks from the hallway.

Something big was trying to escape the doors.

I kept looking at the intersection of the living room and kitchen. I would never get closer to that door.

It could be Akemi or the others, but it could be anything hiding there.

Judging by its force, it must have been an animal or something like that. Suddenly, a hand went through the door with a knife.

An indescribable being opened the door.

It was a woman with purple hair and a pale face, full of blood dripping from her nose.

I held the knife in my hand.

She stopped moving for a second, and her arms trembled violently.

She had excitement and joy in her facial expression with a forced smile.

That thing was a merger between Yuri and Yumi. It had horrible red eyes, stewed on her face as if they were about to fall, and her mouth was bubbling with blood.

I looked at the corners and saw that on my left, there was a staircase.

"I should run for there? But what is on that floor?"

Also, the knife she had was much bigger than mine. So fighting it would be complicated and her unpredictable attitude was the worst part.

— Come on, I'll mess with your mind like last time, your stupid psychopath. — I threatened the monster pointing my knife in her direction.

That provocation made her start walking again, but to my luck, I was faster.

So I ran to the radio and threw it at the creature, hitting her face.

It hit that creature but served for nothing. It just started laughing like..., It wasn't a laugh, and more between groans and laughter as if that thing intended to create sexual connotation with that sound.

Then I noticed that the impact of the phone had dislocated her neck, which made her low the guard, but even before I could analyze, she disappeared into the air, and her laughter still echoed in my mind and throughout the house.

The whole situation had gotten complicated.

Then I kept looking everywhere, angering my body and scanning for all places where that creature could appear to attack. The terrain advantage was all hers. I couldn't calm down until I stuck the knife in that bitch.

For a few moments, the silence made an annoying rhythm of waiting. The worst is that I mentally heard laughs coming from all directions.

— Stop hiding, are you afraid? — I provoked her to show up.

My mind was alert, in which any sound frightened me. It was survival instinct at the most. I was no longer running away from the corporation but from horrible creatures.

For some time, I guessed I could've been dragged to a game of terror, maybe Silent Hills?

However, the speedy beats of my heart served as a guide to define that everything was real...,

I had an idea at that time. The being was hiding in the shadows. I went to the kitchen to counter it because there is brighter.

I stepped under the pool of blood.

Then the creature appeared in front of me. Though that thing couldn't get close to me while I was under that pool of blood..., And that time I wouldn't waste the opportunity.

I grabbed a porcelain plate from the sink and threw it at her head. I ran after her and hit her in the left eye.

I pulled the knife out of her eye and hit her in the chest and took the weapon she was carrying in her hand, and threw it away.

When I left her unarmed, she fell to the ground, turning into a pool of blood and a shrill noise burst out after the death of that creature, like a cry for help.

The lights in the house changed their color. The pictures on the walls had all their images changed to smudges. The pool of blood multiplied, rising to the walls, spreading to the ceiling, and finally, a text appeared on the floor:

"I just wanted to break up with myself,

Making my heart stop would be the only way to escape,

They said I'd never been normal again.

The world's closed.

Being a guardian brings the ruin of sanity.

Did I look like a monster to you?

Yes, with this mess we're all exposed to, all that's left is...,

Darkness.

Hate.

Doubts.

Contempt.

This battle was just a test.

I'll be waiting for you,

And the next time, I'll prevail!"

I felt that those were the thoughts of that "Yuri." She fled from the battle. It made me wonder whether I had injured a monster o someone who had become a monster.

It wouldn't be my first murder or my last. Whatever..., If I was killing illusions, it was fine.

I had experience in killing unreal people.

Of course, when I could delete them..., It was a lot easier…, Wait, what am I thinking?

Noises echoed on the walls, like someone moving something heavy and metallic upstairs.

Then other noises joined the first, a mess of sounds. I heard a burst of cursed laughter similar to that of the creature.

"I will come back, Naomi Asaki. You better be prepared."

My ears were hurting like hell, and the environment was more devilish than before, but I was determined to reach the upstairs floor and figure out what was happening there.

When I left the living room, I got her knife.

As I passed through the living room, the broken radio began to emit a distorted voice, mixed with the noise of static:

— A new world rose today. The power of the Deva of Pain has brought it to us..., Yes! Everything shall become one. I see them walking the streets. I see them absorbing the spirits of people around you know..., only a sick mind could bring such things to life. There is no turning back now. I knew that this day would come.

When I was about to destroy that thing, I changed my mind and decided to talk back. I knew that I wasn't in reality anymore, so nothing needed to make sense either:

— Can you hear me? How can I escape from this nightmare?

— Of course, I can..., Did you appreciate my casting? Do you think that you can escape yourself? It is the only way out from here.

— What?! What do you mean?

— This is all your fault! If you didn't come back to this..., But now, the town is doomed. And when "she" came to take you, she will wipe all realities.

The radio stopped working. I kicked it because I was tired of listening to that shitty messages.

I looked back to confirm that there was nothing new in that place, and apart from the fact that the whole house was bleeding...,

Nothing new.

I went upstairs, and when I reached the other floor. I saw that I was in a different reality. In front of me was a corridor incompatible with the size of the house. At the end of it, there was a door.

The sounds of objects moving had stopped. It was left to my imagination to understand what was the source of them.

I walked to the door, waiting for something to happen.

That place was normal oblivious to all the chaos that had happened.

It was like being in another world.

That stillness pissed me off. After everything that happened, the silence was unsettling.

After every step to the door, I noticed it was getting increasingly distant. It was like I was drunk.

Finally, I reached the door.

It was inviting me, I put my ear next to it to maybe detect something that might be happening on the other side, but I heard nothing, just pure silence.

I opened the door.

Then a dark environment revealed itself. I wouldn't go in there carelessly because the door would lock while I was inside, so I needed to look for something to prevent the door close behind me.

This kind of thing often happens in horror books, you know?

I looked in the wall next to the door, and I found a flashlight fixed in the wall inside a compartment that had a message written on it:

"Break the glass in case of emergency."

I broke it with my knife and took the flashlight. It was malfunctioning, blinking every three seconds.

"Better than nothing, I guess." I kept it in the pocket of my shirt.

I came back and destroyed the door's handle with my knife.

I could see the room, even with the weak light of my flashlight…., And going through that door was one of the worst decisions of my life. Inside, I saw one of the things that had marked my life forever, for the worst…., And it wasn't unreal as before.

"You kinda left her hanging this morning, you know?" I heard a muffled voice reverberating in the room.

Erika was in front of me, hanged dead in the center of the room. That place was an exact replica of Sayori's room, including the toys and the bed that contrasted with the rest of that catastrophic environment.

Blood was dripping off her hands, that empty gaze was staring at me, and I have to admit, back when I fucked the depressive girl's mind tempering with her, I felt nothing for her death.

But now...,

Seeing that scene again and that time seeing a real-world person dead like that, adding that she'd offered me shelter and food, had turned my mind upside down, and a lot of questions came to my mind, like who'd make such a thing?

And why does the whole scene look like a suicide? She was normal until a few…., Hours, maybe? And just as the game protagonist had felt, I couldn't digest that disturbing scene. I was taking Karma from my actions. I just wanted to run out of that place.

Next to the body, I found a text written on a paper, and to get it..., I would have to pass next to the body. It was just a body, but I could swear that those dead eyes were following me.

I passed by her in slow steps until I got to bed, and of course, it was a suicide note:

"%%%%%%%%%%%

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head.

Get

Out

Of

My….,

Get out of my head before I discover what I've to do.

Get out of my head before she finds out the truth.

Get out of my head before I release my demons.

Get out of my head before it's too late.

Get out of my head before they suck your soul.

Get out of my head before the otherworld comes.

Maybe it is too late to warn.

A love shattered over the heads of necrophilous birds.

A love rotten as dead people.

A love covered in blood, which will never come true,

A love deformed by its unclean face,

A love dismantled by her obsession

Maybe it is too real to go back

Or perhaps you should….,

Delete me."

That text was an adapted version of what I forced Sayori to write when the mental abuses I did with her reached the end. Even so, I had the courage to push her to suicide to get out of my way, all because of idiotic and futile jealousy.

It was as if that letter had reacted to how my thoughts changed after I left that world.

And the worst part was that the text was slightly darker than the last one.

When I left the letter and turned back to the room, the body was no longer hanging from the rope. It simply disappeared into the air. A trail of blood was on the floor, heading to the corridor,

It is fucked up...,

,

"Erika was not dead at all. It was just an illusion..." I thought.

I'd be completely vulnerable when I left that room, so I wielded my knife and cautiously followed the trail. I wondered if everything was just an allegory of my mind or if I really was in a horror story. The problem is, I couldn't feel the sensation of being in unrealness, like in the game.

My mind was sure that I was in the real world.

I wasn't in a horror story. Right?

When I entered the living room again, the phone was where the blood trail was leading, and it started to ring.

I walked carefully to it.

The walls were still pulsating blood, but I didn't see the knife-woman anywhere.

I went to the phone and turned to the living room to not be surprised. Then the voice of the phone said:

— Congratulations Monika. You're still not broke, as the queen of the nightmare. You have the right to leave this house. You should feel happy to have succeeded in my test. I was preparing everything in and outside this house just for yooooooou!

— Just...,m Just let me out of this hellhole! If you're the one who is keeping me here, I'll make you pay for this shit!

— How could you hurt yourself? — The person laughed, taking advantage of her comfortable situation, and soon continued. — Now, go out there and look. I bet you'll like it. Here is now OUR world, where we'll live forever together!

The call cut abruptly, and the exit door of the house opened.

I was free from that infernal house. I would finally get out of that nightmare, I knew..., That would be worse outside, but my curiosity leads me to the outside world.

Before I touched the door, I heard a different voice from that freaking destroyed radio.

— Do…, not…., trust…., anybody….,

After that I left the house, and when I saw the outside, I realized.

I was in hell.