Neji was not the most sociable person.

Or anything that had to do with social.

Okay, most of the time he didn't know how to talk to someone his age, but considering his sensei and teammate were two weirdos with green spandex suits and the thickest eyebrows he'd ever seen, he should be given a break.

So it was to everyone's surprise to see Neji hang out with people, not with any random people of course, that would have been underneath his Hyuga status.

A random civilian actually saw him in his rare time off when his sensei was too busy running around the village with Lee to train, not that he needed it since Tenten was a perfect sparring partner.

For Neji, hanging out with his two - and probably only - best friends was a given. Where he might agree that it was unusual for him was the fact that he, Hyuga Neji, the highest rank in the branch family of the Hyuga clan, ate ramen at Ichiraku's place.

Because you know, he actually despised ramen with every fibre of his being, something an orange ninja was always furious about when asked about it.

So why, you ask, could he be seen eating at a ramen shop with said orange ninja called Naruto and the laziest ninja in the whole village?

The answer is simple: he was out with his friends.

It should be noted that Hanabi, his cousin, looked at him as if he had told her that wooden sticks would kill him during the 4th Great Ninja War caused by an old warmonger when he told her he was hanging out with friends.

That says much more about his social life, at least about what people know, than words could ever express.

Back to Neji, he was enjoying his time with his friends as he did every Sunday evening. He didn't know how the trio had come about, it probably had something to do with Naruto, in his words; kicked his butt during their fight at the chuunin exams. After that he tried to open up more.

Naruto was the first person he actually sought out to make small talk with in public and in his spare time.

When Shikamaru came into the picture... He honestly didn't know. One day, after the mission to rescue Sasuke, which was a complete success and none of their members were nearly killed, Shikamaru just showed up and followed Neji.

Of course, he hadn't really bothered to hide, not that it would have done any good since he had the Byakugan, but to not even bother to hide himself was a new level of laziness.

It started small, with one day a week he was followed, but it grew quickly as his friendship with Naruto progressed, resulting in him being followed almost daily.

Neji, being who he is, didn't stop him. Why should he? He didn't really bother him and he even had a sneaking suspicion that someone was jealous of his super-awesome-beautiful friendship.

Three guesses who named their friendship.

When Naruto actually found out about Shikamaru's stalking, it was when Neji visited him during a short break from training.

"I didn't know Shikamaru was a friend of yours, Neji."

"Sort of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it."

Shikamaru never actually told them why he followed Neji, not even to this day, but on a visit to his room during a sleepover, the two found records of something called "talk-no-jutsu" and its lasting effects.

It looked like Shikamaru was researching and inventing his own jutsu.

How neat!

"Honestly, why do we always go here. Can't any of you cook?" asked an irritated Neji.

"I baked a cake once," came the muffled reply from Shikamaru, who had buried himself with his arms on the counter.

"Yes, it was good!" Came the brief reassurance from Naruto.

"Really?" asked a somewhat confused Shikamaru, leaving his sleeping position.

"Don't make me lie twice, Shikamaru."

Truly, a friendship group that will last forever.

Little Chibi Naruto was sleeping peacefully in his bed.

It was around midnight, a time when most people are asleep or cheating on their spouses in the red light district.

Little Naruto, who was 6 years old and did not understand the concept of flesh hitting flesh, was dreaming of something much more pleasant than what the adults were always muttering about.

How can there be anything more sacred than ramen?!

Simply impossible.

Fortunately, he loved it to death, because it was one of the few things he could afford with the outrageous prices the sellers were proposing to him. If they let him into the shop at all.

At that moment he woke up as if a yellow rat had electrocuted him.

"The reason why the villagers call me demon is because the Kyubi is sealed inside me because my parents, one of whom had to be the Yondaime, sealed it inside me because he could not sacrifice another child when he could not even sacrifice his own, which led to the Kyubi attacking both of them and killing them before I was born, This explains why the Sandaime took interest in a random orphan boy like me and visited me frequently. Coupled with the fact that the attack took place on October 10 and the Kyubi's attack also took place on October 10, this theory is absolutely possible and very likely."

He grinned smugly "Oh yeah, its all coming together."

That was his last sentence before he let himself fall back into his bed and slept, forever forgetting the fit of intelligence he had.

She smiled at him.

Why is she smiling at him?

Does she think he's afraid?! Because that would be completely wrong! Naruto Uzumaki isn't afraid of any dead people and their graves! He's not afraid of them haunting him! He-

"AAAAAAAaahh!"

He was jumpscared by a flock of crows flying out of the tree. He quickly calmed down, coughed and risked a quick glance back at her. Please, by all that is holy, let her not have seen him.

She was still looking at him, smiling her fake smile.

"I wasn't afraid," he said to emphasise his masculinity, folding his arms and averting his eyes from her.

Too bad he couldn't see her take a small orange book out of her backpack that she had brought with her.

"Jirayia-sama, you know Naruto best because you were his sensei for three years."

Jirayia, who was doing research, almost cried out in panic when he was spotted in the bushes. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and stared at the person speechlessly.

"I... um, guess? What does this have to do with anything?"

She looked at him thoughtfully, "As you may know, I'm the newest member of Team 7 and teamwork is very important in fights, but also in general."

Jirayia nodded, having a faint inkling of where this was going. And just in case, he kept some tape and ink handy.

"Sakura seems to tolerate my presence, even if she's a bit brusque and loud, but the problem is Naruto. He seems to see me as if I were Sasuk's replacement. Can you maybe give me some advice on how to become his friend?"

She smiled with her eyes closed to appear friendlier, completely missing Jirayia's twinkle in his eyes.

"Of course I would be happy if my student made more friends! I even have a book for that here, one second. " He turned around, wrote something and stuck it on another thing.

Inwardly Sai cheered, not only was she getting advice on how to make Naruto her friend, but she was getting it in book form. Today must be her lucky day!

"Here you go, my guide to becoming Naruto's friend!"

He held a small orange book in front of her. The original title had been replaced with tape and now read 'How to Become Naruto's Friend'.

"I can't thank you enough, Jirayia-sama." She bowed to him.

"No need, I'm always happy to help fair maidens. But when you're done, come and tell me how it went. I... Um, I'm not sure the book is ready to be... published.

"Of course, Jirayia-sama. Thank you again." She smiled one last time before leaving the bush.

'You owe me, brat.' Jirayia chuckled softly to himself. 'Now, back to my research!' He glanced again at the view in front of him.

'In which chapter is the instruction to comfort a friend?' she asked herself.

To be honest, she didn't know how to find her way around the book, because unlike her other books, this one tried to teach by example, it seemed.

She didn't always understand what the two people were doing, but it seemed to be something they both enjoyed and made them happy.

'Maybe that?

She stood up. Crap, is she going to make fun of him now? Slowly she walked over to him and sat down next to him, only a few inches separating them. At first she did nothing and just stared ahead, which was incredibly creepy to Naruto.

'What is she doing-' "Woah!" Suddenly she grabbed him by the side of the head and pulled him towards her.

Or rather, onto her lap.

"S-sai?!" a surprised Naruto asked, pressed onto two comfortable thighs.

It didn't seem to calm him down, in fact it seemed to make him more nervous.

'What did Kaija do next?' Sai thought hard, because so far the book didn't match what had happened.

Slowly she moved her hand to Naruto's hair, who was still fidgeting on her lap, while her left hand held him.

When her hand was on top of his hair, he suddenly stopped. 'It worked!' She celebrated happily and automatically began to stroke it tenderly, causing Naruto's body to relax.

Naruto did not know what Sai was doing or why she was doing it, but it felt incredibly pleasant. His head was placed on two soft pillows and his head was massaged.

He began to make a soft purring sound with a goofy expression on his face.

'Is he purring?' Sai had read the book when she got it, and during her journey here, and only once was it mentioned that someone purred.

Sure, it was a female who purred, but the same principles should apply, shouldn't they?

She slowly tilted her head towards Naruto, her heart pounding for reasons unknown to her. Had she caught a disease or something?

Naruto, for his part, was still enjoying the blissful sensation to the fullest until his lips met something soft as well.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Sai's face right in front of him, kissing him.

He started struggling again, trying to break out of this heavenly hell he was in. But it was as if Jirayia had written this moment herself and he accidentally bumped one of Sai's breasts with his hand.

"Ah~," she squeaked, breaking off the kiss and retrearing her head back. Naruto's face was even more red than Hinata's and his heart was beating like a drum.

He was by no means a pervert, but you don't go on a three-year training trip with Jirayia of the Sannin without being scarred. In his defence, he had managed to keep his virginity, which was incredibly difficult when the old pervert was constantly found in brothels.

So it should come as no surprise to him that Naruto, a 15-year-old hormonal boy who had spent 3 years of his life in temptation, was mildly aroused by the moans Sai was making.

Before he could apologise to her, she kissed him again fiercely. Naruto, who was not at all prepared for this opportunity, fell off her lap and lay on the floor with Sai.

He tried to get her off him, but the soft pillow pressing on his body seemed like a paralysis potion or something.

It seemed he didn't need to do anything because she broke off the kiss again and sat on him, strangling his abdomen.

"S-sai, can you tell me what you're doing?!" an angry but also excited Naruto yelled at her.

She only furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly to the side.

"I'm comforting you? Isn't that comforting to you?"

"Yes, wait, I mean, no, I mean!"

"In this book I found an example of how to comfort your friend," she said, holding the book beside her.

Naruto turned pale as he recognise the abomination of hell he once had to edit during his training trip. "Sai, this is...!"

"Shuss," she put a finger to his lips to silence him. "I'm doing my best to become your friend!"

She began to unbutton Naruto's shirt, ignoring his attempts to pull her off him.

"Oh my, what an inexperience boy you are." Fuuka said cutely to him.

"Inexperience! Of course even I have kissing experience!" he shouted back and then blushed.

"Although it was much more than kissing," he added silently.

"Ara ara~ Looks like I have a proper man here, I'm going to enjoy this a lot more now." She giggled before making handsigns.

A/N

I have no idea what to do and just started writing something to prevent writers block, I'm currently in the process of re-writing the second chapter of Sharingan, but it takes just a lot of time for me to write.

So here are random assortment of things I come up with.

The first one was when I use the Inccorect Quetos generator.

The second one was when I watched A new groove and saw the Kronk sleeping scene.

The last, actually I dont know where I got that idea.

Have a wonderful day!

'No, wait he has a point.'