I thought Adam would back off after taking Seth with me to look at the pictures, but he got even more… eager.
—Is Renesmee absent again? Adam asks in art class as he keeps drawing my portrait. We are almost done, finally, so this might be the last time I need to go through this.
—She wasn't feeling well. She and me, for that matter. I can't erase the picture Adam showed us the other day from my memory. Just the thought of him knowing something makes my hands sweat.
Usually, I have the perfect answer to his questions, but something feels off about that picture. I can't concentrate on anything but the feeling I got from his eyes that day. The itch is back now that I'm standing this close to him. There is something different about Adam. I never felt this way around him before.
—The weather is great today. Too bad she can't come out. Adam gazes at the sun coming through the windows behind us, but I can't enjoy it today. I can't let my guard down.
—Yeah, too bad. Staying near him is getting complicated. I never had anyone get this close to my, well, our secret. Maybe that's why I'm like this—feeling like I want to jump off this chair and run.
—Are you okay? You look nervous. Adam doesn't seem to know how much that picture shook me, so I must look like a crazy person now, sitting at the edge of my seat. My eyes keep wandering Seth's direction, making sure he's there.
Seth doesn't take his eyes from me either, even when Jess complains, and that's the only reason I haven't run yet. The doubt, the pressure in the air between us, and the feeling I get just by being near him make me want to dash. I don't think I could do this if I were alone in this class.
—Hum? No, I'm… I'm fine. Except I'm not. I want to run, but we are playing it cool, so Adam won't notice how his questions are starting to bother us.
It used to be easy to shake off humans that suspected my parents or me. I was never actually nervous. But, that picture changed something in me. That is not a rumor or a guess. It makes me think he has more up his sleeve. Adam's smile looks wider today, and his shoulder broader. His newfound confidence is growing at the same speed as my fear.
—Do you want to look at it? I'm not done, but you can get a good idea.
—I'm sure you're doing a great job. And he was. The painting was looking good; the problem was me.
—Come, take a look. Adam insists. With a deep breath, I approach to stand beside him and look at it.
Adam got all the details on point, the freckles across my nos, how my lips were rounded on the top. Thanks to the color mixing app, the brown shade of my eyes is perfect, and he even managed to get something like a smile on my lips.
I tell Adan it's good, but he stands up, asking me to sit on the chair. —You can see better. Let me know if the color is all right.
Without a reason to say no to that request, I sit down and observe my skin color in the painting. I got progressive lighter because of the weather in Forks, but I am still tan enough for people to think I lived in a sunny city.
My skin is not like a vampire's, so I still get sunburned and don't have the chalky color theirs did. I get tanned quickly too, but the cloudy weather in Forks stole the extra shade of my skin. Now I look like someone that desperately needs to hit the beach.
Adam reaches his arm to the notepad in front of the frame, trapping me in between him and the painting, freezing my body in place. —These are the colors I was choosing from. My whole body is itching now, telling me to run. Am I that afraid of him? Does he really know everything?
I see Seth standing up, and for the first time, I'm glad he's making a scene, but Jess holds him down. She puts her hands on his chest, looking confused, asking what's wrong. Adam must've noticed, too, because he removed his arm, and I stood up fast, stepping away.
—Looks good to me. I need to calm down.
—You're strange today. Is it because Clearwater came to the studio? Or… was it the pictures? Whenever I don't ignore his questions, they get more challenging to answer and more dangerous. I need to say something.
—That's not it. I think I'm unwell today and… my head hurts. It isn't exactly a lie. I'm not in pain, but this conversation makes me feel like I am.
—You get sick? Adam looks confused, and his choice of words makes the question sound strange. Just like that day when he came to Seth's house and grabbed my wrist, saying I was "not cold."
—Not always, but maybe I'm coming down with something. A fake cough here and there should do the trick.
Seth is still standing, but I shake my head at him. It's not worth it to make a scene because of this. It doesn't matter how warry I am of Adam; our secret comes first. If Adam knows everything, I don't think he'll be alive for long.
The bell rings, and I don't have to pretend anymore, so I place the chair in its rightful place, and Adam puts away the paint. As I walk out the door, I look for Seth, but Jess keeps him from getting out, waving her hand and telling him to sit down. Our eyes meet, and I point to the door as the line of students pushes me outside. I move to the side of the classroom door next to a pillar and wait. The space is narrow, but at least I'm in nobody's way.
—If you're not feeling well, you should go to the nurse's office. Adam says, getting closer to the pilar. He is like a dog with a bone today, and I know it is because I'm not answering his questions well enough to throw him off our scent. If I wasn't feeling this… warry, I could think better about this. I just what him to leave me alone!
—It's not so bad. I let out another fake cough to keep the illusion as I get closer to the pillar and away from him. The feeling inside my gut is telling me to run, but where? And how can I run without looking suspicious?
Adam insists and steps forward, putting his hand on my forehead, checking for a fever, and overstepping his boundaries completely this time. I'm about to get angry at him when Seth grabs his hand and pulls him away, standing between us.
—What you're doing, Gibbson? Seth's angry, but not like it was with Ian. He's not shaking, and his voice is controlled.
—Chill, man. She said she wasn't feeling well. Adam laughs like it is simply a misunderstanding, but he knows what he is doing. No one feels someone's forehead to check for fever in real life unless they want to touch that person. Adam knows I date Seth, so he must be doing this on purpose.
—Hands… off. Seth's voice is low and threatening, but Adam doesn't step back.
—Or what? His challenge surprised me and everyone that noticed the movement in front of the door. He is Adam Gibbson. The kid Ian pushes around and the dorky nerd from the photography club. He was supposed to be running for his life right now like I want to! Instead, he looks ready for a fight.
—If you want to find out… I hold Seth's jacket, shaking my head and looking at the people forming a circle around us. They are waiting for a fight to brighten their dull day. We were not giving them that.
Seth holds my shoulders, and we walk away from Adam and the disappointed crowd. I want to put as much distance between us as possible, so we go to the table we usually spend our free period at, away from everyone.
I'm still shaking when we sit down, and Seth holds my face in his hands. —Are you okay? What did he say?
—He did his usual questions, but when I didn't answer, they got more…specific. I was nervous because of yesterday, but I'll give him a good excuse next time. I can't let him dig into this any further. I might not survive the pressure. Why does it affect me so much? If he knew what I am, would he get this close?
—You don't have to talk to him. I don't want you getting nervous like this. Seth is worried, and I am too. This is the closest a human ever got to finding out what I am, and I'm not ready for Adam's questions. I hold Seth's hand over my cheek and breathe again, calming down.
—I never had anyone get this close before, that's all. That picture got to me, but I'm good now. We can't let Adam come at us that way. If he thinks we are afraid, he'll get confident, and things will get out of control fast.
—Don't say you're okay if you don't mean it. Seth's still apprehensive, looking at my eyes and holding my face.
—I mean it. He won't get me by surprise again. Seth doesn't seem convinced but hugs me, pulling my body closer, and I bury my face in his neck, feeling his warmth. I'll be all right as long as he's next to me. Seth wouldn't let anything happen to me.
—Are you really feeling sick? And to think Seth was worried about that too.
—I don't get sick, Seth. The last fever I had was because Mirania was in my head. Seth knows my body is different from humans. I may smell like one, but human diseases don't infect me. On the flip side, medicine doesn't work well either. It's not a problem because I can heal, but Seth looks at my face and touches my cheek, checking for a fever anyway.
—You're warm. Maybe we should go to the nurse's office. I laugh and pull his hand down.
—I'm warm because you're a million degrees under that coat. If I hold him long enough, I always start to sweat.
—We can just… leave. Edward said we could if things got too tricky.
—Don't tell him. I can handle this. It was my idea to bring everyone to school, and I promised Carlisle I could do this. I just need to get back on my game and end Adam's doubts. Asking Edward to get us out of here is like giving the win to Adam. I won't let him push us out of our best days together.
—But-
—Please. I told them I could do this. Leave Adam to me. Seth holds my arm, and I can see in his eyes that he hates the idea.
—I don't think I can do that. Gibbson was not joking; he wanted to fight me.
—I know. I won't be alone with him, not after today. I can't tell Renesmee, but I'll call you. Seth's eyes scan my face, and he touches my hair. That look is the one he makes when he thinks I'm trying too hard or pushing myself too far. —I promise.
Seth is still not entirely fond of the idea, but he does what I ask, like always. No matter how much he hates it, if I ask him, he never says no. Maybe I am getting too used to it.
Since I'm not grounded, we decided to walk in the mall to enjoy the sun after school. I could use some time to relax, but I want to spend time with Seth most of all.
We decide to walk around the mall we went on our first date. I get excited with all the food stalls spread around for the harvest festivals around the city and buy us some cotton candy. I can't remember the last time I had some, and the sweet flavor is a bit much but brings back memories from when I was a toddler for like… a week.
Although we were not the same, I grew up as fast as Renesmee. I couldn't climb trees or run like her, but we developed at the same speed. My mom would take pictures every other minute, and it still pains me that I lost those memories to the fire. I like to think I was a cute baby, and I want to see their smiling faces again. The memories engraved in my brain are not the happiest ones.
The mall is quite full of children running around. Some of them come up to us, admiring the colorful sweet treat in our hands.
—That is so cool! I got the rainbow cotton candy, and because I felt like it, I got extra special sprinkles that looked like diamonds under the sun as a treat from the five-year-old in me.
—Hey there, buddy. Do you want some? Seth offers his candy to the kid, and they all reach their hands, grabbing more than half of it and acting surprised when it melts away in their mouths. The sprinkles make their tongues shine, so the boys stick them out in the sun, pointing and laughing at each other.
A little girl with crossed arms beside me looked annoyed at the scene, so I asked what was wrong. I thought all kids like candy.
—Boys are stupid. It's just candy. Her tiny arms are crossed as she has the cutest angry face I've ever seen. When I offer her some of my cotton candy, she has a severe look, but her eyes twinkle when the light hits the sparkles.
—It is very yummy candy. The cute little girl looks around, making sure no one will catch her being girly, and grabs a piece. The sprinkles get stuck to her rosy cheeks, shining under the sunlight as she enjoys the sweet flavor. She won't say it, but it's obvious she loves it, so I give her some more.
—My turn! The boys go nuts, climbing on Seth's shoulder and hanging from his arms like little monkeys. Seth can hold twenty of them at once, and the kids are making sure to test his strength.
The little girl places her elbow on my leg, observing the scene in disapproval. She seems to have a well-formed opinion of boys for such a young child. —I know. Boys are stupid. I say, laughing with her and watching Seth have the time of his life with those kids.
Of course, Seth loves children. He had Leah and many relatives growing up. I saw all the pictures from his childhood. He had a big, happy family and a house full of people at all times. Kids love him, obviously, and it warms my heart to see him that happy around them. He's the perfect dad.
I like children too, but… it is a bit hard for me to be around them. It is not because the last time a kid approached me, it was actually an immortal child giving me poisoned candy; no, it isn't because of that. However, the memory is difficult to shake.
When their teacher calls, the children leave and get in a single line, holding hands and answering the roll call. The little cuties went as they came, out of the blue.
—Your hair is a mess. Seth is looking rough after only a few minutes with those kids.
—They are little devils. He laughs, fixing it. —But I love them.
—Let's go. The sun is going down. We hold hands back to the car, and I can't decide how I feel as we drive into the trees.
Seth's everything to me, and I would be happy just being near him my whole existence, but I can't help but wonder if he can do it.
Leah is moving on. She found someone she loves enough to stop phasing, return to being human, and grow old together. Seth saw that not as him losing her but as her following her path in life. The whole pack was happy to see their sister find happiness.
Imprinting is connected to that too. You find someone that means so much to you, you'll renounce eternity for them, but vampires are very different. Maybe we were egoistic bastards or just cursed. We could never change for the people we loved. No matter how much a vampire wants to change for a human and grow old, we can't. When we find a human that calls that strongly to us, we kill them because the only way we connect is through the thirst for blood.
I learned my whole life not to care for anything but my family and abandoned my friends without a second thought because, although painful, they weren't like me. They could never understand the real me.
Seth was afraid I would leave Forks because he knew that is my nature as a vampire. Just like his nature as a shape-shifter is to stay and protect this town. I could choose to remain locked inside a house for a hundred years, waiting for the next chance to show my face around again safely, but no sacrifice would help me give him what he wants. What I know he deserves.
I want Seth to have everything. He doesn't have to sacrifice a single thing for me; that's why I'm so determined to do everything I can for him.
Adam won't scare us out of school, and Seth won't lose his friends because of me. He doesn't have to live in the shadows or leave his family. I will make the sacrifices. I will be the one to protect him. I may not be able to fight, but I love him enough to do anything for him. Anything.
Seth didn't leave my side the rest of the week, so Adam was quiet and distant most of the time. I am ready for his questions this time, so he's not getting me off guard even if he approaches me when I'm alone.
Waiting for Seth and Renesmee by my locker, I recharge my phone and notepad, organizing a few notes. I can see Adam approach from the corner of my eye, so I put everything in my locker and walk away like I didn't notice him. Seth isn't here. I can't be caught alone.
Adam continues to follow me, so I turn the corridor and enter the door leading to the stairs, running down the steps as fast as I can but not fast enough.
He grabs my arm, pulling me up the stairs, to the space between them, ¥ and cornering me against the wall.
—Why are you running? Adam looks angry. I've seen him shy, scared, but never angry.
—I'm late for class. His eyes look down at my empty hands. I forgot I left all my things in the locker. Stupid! Who goes to class without a notepad?
—I thought we were friends.
—We are. I told you I'm just late. Adam looks angry and scary. It gets even worse when his body, twice my size, blocks my way.
—Is it because of Clearwater? Did he tell you to stay away from me? He did, but Adam's attitude is enough for me not to want to approach him as well. This is not about Seth being jealous, however.
—No. I- Adam hits the wall next to my head, and although my heart drops in my chest, I don't move. I keep my eyes on him, trying not to look sacred but wishing to run with all my might. I can't let him think I'm afraid. The horrible feeling spreading around my body makes every nerve shake. My gut is telling me to get the hell out of here.
—Don't… ignore me. Everyone else does, but… you can't. There is sadness behind that anger in Adam's voice. I remember how he was before we met. Always alone or carrying Ian's things and being pushed around. I've never seen him with a friend before.
—I won't, okay. But you need to calm down. I touch his arm and slowly pull it down, looking in his eyes, hoping he can see there is no need for this. Adam takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Just don't do anything crazy, Adam.
Removing my hand slowly, I breathe in too, glad he quieted down his anger. Adam's behavior is erratic, and I can't understand how he can change like this. Just a few days ago, he was flirty and sweet, then he tried to pick a fight with Seth, but that's Adam's fault. Now he's angry at me?
—I have to go, but I will see you around, okay? Adam looks at me and nods, removing his hand so I can go. I walk away at an average speed not to trigger him again and leave the stairs into the crowd with my heart pounding in my chest.
I know Renesmee and Seth are waiting for me, but I can't be shaking like this in front of them, so I go inside the restroom and breathe for a minute, calming down.
Adam probably wouldn't hit me, but his actions were violent and scary. Only the fact that he is a man is enough to intimidate, and his size doesn't help. Even if he's just a human, the fear he incites in me is overwhelming. I need to be more careful.
—Where have you been? Renesmee asks as I run to meet them.
—Sorry, I talked with Mr. Smith about the Math competition again. He won't stop trying to convince me. I lie through my teeth. My heavy breath masks the trembling in my voice, and she doesn't seem to notice it. Seth also does not spot my lie, so I grab my things and go to class with them like usual.
I didn't have time alone with Seth for the rest of the day, and Renesmee could always be listening, so I decided not to tell him what had happened yet. If Renesmee hears me, she'll ask questions about Adam, her dad will listen to he thoughts, and soon enough, everyone will know. My silence will save us many headaches.
The harvest festival is upon us, and everyone is excited. Last year was fantastic, and even with all that was happening, this year will be even better.
After class, we all sit together to talk. Tyler is making plans with Jess and Ben for which party they will go to as Seth and I wait for Renesmee to come back from her extra class.
They want to go to the beach again, but there will be a new party "venue" this year. It's an old building where they can light a fire in some barrels and be as noisy as they want since it is an abandoned area.
—Sounds fun, but it might get us in trouble. Ben is more responsible than Tyler by far. He thinks before acting and doesn't want to lose his spot on the team because of a party.
—It's cool, bro. We can sneak out of the building from anywhere if someone comes. Tyler says, smiling and putting his hands behind his back.
—We're not afraid of a bit of trouble, Ben. Jess pokes Seth with her elbow. I guess they used to run from the "trouble" all the time and never got caught.
I forcibly heard a few stories about their "wild freshman year" or whatever. Jess made it sound extra cool and fun, always pointing out that "I had to be there to understand it." She wanted to exclude me from the conversation as much as possible, so I kept my arms around Seth to provoke her. I would run my fingers through his hair or neck out of spite. I'm not sure he was aware of that, but Seth definitely enjoyed it.
Tyler and Ben are getting heated up about the party when I notice Adam walking out of the building, looking at us. We are sitting at our usual table with Jess and me on top of the table, and the boys are standing up and being silly. When Adam and I meet eyes, I smile and wave, keeping my promise not to ignore him. He waves back with a small smile, balancing the bags of the football team in his arms like usual.
Adam challenged Seth for a fight, but I guess he can't stand up to Ian yet. If he knew how much more difficult a brawl against Seth would be, he might have made a different choice.
Seth's sudden kiss on my cheek and arms around me make me look away from Adam. I thought he was too busy talking to Ben and Tyler, but he must've noticed Adam looking at us. It might have been for the best that I didn't tell Seth about how Adam corned me today at school, but we still need to talk. I promised I would not keep secrets. Let's do it when there is no chance they can fight.
After we get home, I help Seth at the greenhouse, looking for a chance to talk to him about today. Let's make sure he's happy first.
—We should stay at your house until the harvest festival. Seth immediately stops digging the earth and looks at me, baffled.
—Don't play me, woman.
—I'm serious. It's been a long- Ahhh! HSethe runs out of the greenhouse with me on his shoulder, screaming.
—Put me down!
—No way. You'll change your mind. We run past Esme in the living room and to my room. Seth puts me in the bed and grabs my bag from the closet.
—Get ready. I'll get my stuff. He runs to his room to grab his things, making me laugh aloud. I better stay longer this time.
I grab extra clothes and organize everything in the bag. He's already waiting by the door, rushing me as I explain to Esme that I'm staying a little longer this time. As soon as I close the bag, he grabs me again, plus the two bags, and runs out.
—I'll be back in a few days! I love you! I shout to Esme as he runs to the car with me on his shoulder.
—Text me! She says, waving to us from the garage as we drive away. I thought about having some alone time to discuss what happened with Adam, but that could wait. We had the weekend to ourselves, so it was only fair to enjoy it.
The festival is far from now, and Renesmee will be annoyed to drive home every day, but she'll get over it. I'm not leaving Seth's arms for as long as possible.
Getting to his house is exactly as we left the last time we were here. The sheets are still on the sofa, but the dust got evident over the previous few days. The robot can clean the floor but not the tables.
Seth puts our bags inside and closes the door quickly, grabbing my waist and kissing me.
—We should do some cleaning first. I say, between breaths.
—It's spotless. He takes off his shirt, pulling me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. I didn't realize I wanted him this bad until he kissed me and took my breath away. I grab the condoms I see on the table and take it with us to the bedroom. It was going to be a long night.