Hotel Wario

by Sky's Penname

It's been a year since the case of my missing brother was solved - and things haven't gotten any easier. A vacation to a ritzy hotel with free food sounds great, right? ...Except a precious artifact has been stolen from Wario and we're all trapped here until someone can figure out who did it. It certainly won't be me, Luigi!

13. Where There's Smoke - There's Fire

This is it, Luigi.

We were on the elevator ride down to our key to freedom. Garlic and spice wafted through the air, mixed with the dusty dead hotel below. Sauteed mushrooms burned my mustache as Fire Toadette complained against a squished Vivian whose face was redder than a clown nose.

What kind of dastardly traps awaited us down below in Dr. Arewo Shitain's lair? The—er—famous(?) Mad Scienstein was never someone I personally knew. As far as I could remember, even my brother barely interacted with him!

Was he as evil as all the rest? Was he someone like Bowser or Cackletta or Smithy? Or was he just a lonely old man who was too smart for his own good?

Not knowing was the worst part. Should I go into this fight battle ready, willing to jump and suck (WITH MY VACUUM.) at a moment's notice? Or should I hold back in case I hurt him? At least with the other major villains of this city you knew what you were in for.

But this old man—he's apparently attempted to take Wario's life multiple times. Even Dr. Crygor! Now Wario I can kind of understand. Not that I'd want to kill him or anything! I just—I get it. Dr. Crygor though, as far as I could tell, was a kindly mad scientist. It even sounded like they were friends!

As uncomfortable as it was in here, I was very lucky to have so many friends that I could trust at my side. Vivian, while a worthy fighter in her own right, was one of the gentlest souls I've ever met! I know she would never inflict more damage than she had to.

Toadette was shrewd, cunning, and quick. If there were traps to worry about, she'd be ready. She'd be able to see through any potential lies, she wouldn't allow any funny business! Not to mention her sharp eyes and ability to tackle people when necessary.

A sudden flurry of yips hit my ears followed by chilling slobber. I wasn't going to forget you, Polterpup! I've only known him for a short time, but I've grown incredibly close to this little guy so quickly. His rambunctious energy, endless confidence, and cute doggy antics helped me more than I could truly put into words.

The dumbwaiter creaked to a stop, darkness spilling out all around us. A purple glow highlighted our colorful group—red, pink, white, and green. A mini W.A.H.S. barrier pulsed with energy before us in our little box.

"C'mon, Luigi!" Toadette groaned.

I nodded, straining to reach the controller in my pocket. Where were my legs? Up above my head? They're not usually there. Either way, got it!

Click!

The barrier fizzed out to my relief, proving my theory right once again! While that was nice, the purple glow from before also vanished, letting darkness choke us.

Toadette squeezed out feet first and held out a palm. A ball of fire swirled at her fingertips, casting a dangerous orange glow over the darkness. I popped out next, falling on my nose, unable to get my limbs untangled in that cramped place. I switched on the flashlight as quick as I could. My light was able to cut into the dark further than Toadette's fire, where as her light gave us a better view of the area around us.

Vivian and the Polterpup floated out together. Vivian's movements were slow and cautious, whereas the pup simply dashed out with joy to explore.

This wasn't what I expected from a mad scientist's lair. This room was more like a cramped attic that the construction crew forgot to build and added in at the last second. And when I say it was dark, it was dark. This wasn't like the darkness of the dead like in the hotel below. Down there, at least the souls of the beyond glowed through its halls, bringing a sense of…something.

But here, there was nothing. Neither the living nor the dead could find this room. There was only void and envy here, hideous malformed envy. In a sense, it reminded me of King Boo, but smaller. Sadder.

Stacks of junk piled everywhere, reaching to the low ceiling and all over the floors. Enormous bright blue diamonds shone against my flashlight; their brilliance dulled by dust that had accumulated over time from poor safekeeping. A table full of messy vials and beakers bubbled with colorful chemicals. Hasty notes had been strewn over the tables and walls, the handwriting a shaky mess of an old man's hands and a jealousy I'd never understand.

Propped up against the walls, still on the ground, were musty old portraits that lost their value. The portraits showed Mad Scienstein in his glory years, grinning from bushy ear to bushy ear, a bubbling concoction in his hands. In another, his beard flourished a brilliant golden yellow, and atop his (now bald) head, he wore a strange clear dome full of mechanical parts. His lab coat fluttered with prospects for world domination, or maybe world peace, or maybe just the thrill of creation. His glasses swirled with vim and vigor, of a time when his potential must have felt unlimited.

But the paint was chipping, the colors had faded, and mold grew on the once golden frame of these portraits.

Something stumbled through the piles of junk and vials. Polterpuppy? Was that you? I threw my flashlight towards the source but found nothing but magazines that I refuse to describe, because, seriously? Ugh. Gross.

"Luigi!" Toadette whispered harshly, as if she was afraid to wake the darkness. "The I.C.U.! Don't forget!"

"We'll watch your back," Vivian assured me. Even as a spirit of darkness, she seemed the most uncomfortable here. Maybe it was because she was a being of darkness that she feared it the most. She knew what the darkness could hold. "I sense something here."

"It's fine, it's just the old man," Toadette said.

"No, there's… something else."

"What else could it be?" Toadette asked, a tightness in her voice.

"Something… funny," Vivian tried to explain. "I don't know how else to describe it. It's funny but it isn't… at all."

"That's…" Toadette started, eyes wide. "Somehow one of the scariest things you could have said."

What in the world could she have meant by that?! Vivian was a spirit of darkness, was she not? Born from the hatred of a long-forgotten demon queen? So, whatever she was sensing, it must have been a similar being. But… funny? I didn't like that. I especially didn't like the foggy familiarity it brought to me, like something from a forgotten nightmare.

I shivered. Suddenly the darkness felt like it tickled my ribs with thousands of tiny hands. Something jingled in the corner of the room. I shot my flashlight at it, revealing a group of small jingling bells that seemingly rustled by itself in this breezeless room. Someone snickered at a joke that I couldn't hear; that I couldn't understand.

Whoever or whatever was messing with us right now wasn't funny!

Another goofy laugh, twisted and strange, whispered through the room. I shot my light it's way but found only… paint? Make up? But what was it? It was… green. Like slime. Like ooze.

Honk-honk! went the hungry darkness.

"Luigi!" Toadette whispered loudly, beads of sweat dripping down her red cap. "I—I told you to use the I.C.U. already!" She was getting nervous. I couldn't blame her. I was nervous too.

I fumbled for the visor over my cap and slipped the I.C.U. over my eyes. I was met with nothing but a stark red, somehow worse than the darkness. It reminded me of… Why did the red remind me of a clown nose?!

"Heh heh heh…!" a raspy voice laughed, different from the ghastly one I heard before. "Ahh… Ah-hah-HAH!" The raspy voice suddenly boomed, his laughter mixing with the quiet one from the void. It was hysterical. In both the sense that it was 'funny' and unhinged.

"Ack, he's visible, take the I.C.U. off, Luigi!" Toadette squeaked. "Sorry!"

Practically throwing the visor off my head in a terrified rush, I looked up through the darkness and shone my light on the old man.

He looked… different from before.

"Surrender, Dr. Arewo Shitain!" Toadette yelled, billowing flames swirling above her palms. "Give up the Pot of Luxeville and admit to your crimes! We don't want to hurt you!"

The old man's wrinkled and liver spotted skin had been replaced with pure green. It just looked sickly and wrong. His lips were splayed in a massive grin, caked with an unhealthy dried dread. It didn't even seem possible for him to be able to smile that wide. Between those swirly glasses and those frankly horrifyingly disgusting lips, sat a ruby red rubber nose.

"I think you youngins have the wrong idea! Heh heh-hah-HAH!" Dr. Arewo Shitain cackled, his laughter echoing against the dark. Atop his head stood a clown hat, a golden skull bell jingling at its top. He replaced his waiter's outfit with a cliché clown onesie, half blue, half red, all covered in more of the same skull patterns. Even his jester shoes jingled with golden skull bells!

Just what kind of clown was he supposed to be with all that skull decor!?

"You all better scamper off before I get REALLY nasty with ya!" Dr. Arewo Shitain said, his voice seemingly transforming mid-sentence into another darker one. "I've got nothing against the three of you! I just want to RUIN that BLASTED Wario!"

"So you admit it?!" Vivian asked, the bravest one here. "You're the thief! Why? Why trap us all with Wario?"

Dr. Arewo Shitain laughed against his will, practically doubling backwards, an action which should have destroyed that poor old man's spine. "I wanted everyone to see what an awful man that Wario is! What better way than being stuck with him for a good week or two, huh?! Everyone acts like he's some misunderstood hero with a heart of gold underneath the layers of greed, but he's NOT!"

To be completely honest, my first thought when I picture Wario is a goblin picking its nose. I certainly don't know who out there thought of him as a hero. I suppose I didn't see him as a villain either though, not completely.

"So, you were trying to murder him too? You used the W.A.H.S. barrier to keep him locked in with you so he'd never get away!" Toadette asked, her courage coming back to her.

Laying at Dr. Arewo Shitain's feet were two oversized gloves a clown might wear, but for some reason were fitted with deadly spikes at the knuckles. He wasn't wearing them, but I saw the way his wrinkly hands seemed to unnaturally gravitate to them, as if against his will.

"I'm not some murderer!" Dr. Arewo Shitain rasped. "I know for a fact that greedy yellow blob of a man only drops his riches when he gets hurt!" He let out a terrible glee-filled laugh that didn't match what he was saying. "But I certainly wouldn't have minded if he died! I just wanted him to lose all those ill-gotten gains! He's done nothing but humiliate me, steal from me, so why couldn't I do the same back!?"

"You're trying to tell us you don't want to kill anyone?" Toadette growled.

"Of course not!" His entire body jingled in revulsion at the idea.

"Sorry, but I don't buy it," Toadette said, sending a fiery glare of defiance his way. "You were the one who pushed Dr. Crygor into his weird machine, weren't you? If Daisy hadn't saved him, he would have been deleted!"

For once, the smug smile was wiped off his face and replaced with a look of terror. "No! I didn't—I didn't think it could have killed him! I just thought that he'd be trapped in the machine! That's why I locked the door behind me! I wanted to slow his progress down to stop him from turning off the hotel's lockdown mode! I was going to put the Pot of Luxeville back that night when the lights went out and let everyone go! Everyone would be free, and it'd all look like that blasted Wario pulled a cruel publicity stunt!"

"Really?" Toadette crossed her arms. "You were going to free everyone tonight?"

"I swear it! I-AH-HAH-was!"

"Then why don't you just give us the Pot of Luxeville now and come with us quietly?"

Dr. Arewo Shitain's face contorted from fear to another gross smile, the oozing green makeup cracking around his lips. "No! Not yet! Just a little while longer… just a bit more humiliation…"

"I thought you said you were freeing us tonight?"

"How about—Ah-HAH—tomorrow night?" he laughed. "This is all a vacation to you people, isn't it? It's a nice hotel! What do you all care, huh? This way—this way, you can all see how great I am, too! I'm better than those old codgers, E. Gadd and Dr. Crygor! I haven't lost my touch! I'm just as relevant as they are! I've even dabbled in archaeology, yet people think of that oaf, Kolorado!"

Vivian let out a sad sigh, full of pity and understanding. "You're not just jealous of Wario, are you…? There's more to this than that. You've faded into obscurity whereas E. Gadd and Crygor have blossomed. You don't want people to forget you."

I noticed she didn't mention Kolorado there. He didn't exactly blossom, but he was at least fairly well known.

"SHUT UP!" he boomed, his bells jingling across his shivering body. "I'm not just some old useless man! If they can stay around, so can I! You'll all see, you'll all remember ME! RUDY!—er—I mean Mad Scienstein!"

Toadette tilted her head, nearly dropping her flames in confusion. "Rudy…? What kind of evil name is that? It doesn't match with your actual name either."

"Er, well, I gave him that name," Dr. Arewo Shitain said. "He didn't have one, I don't think."

Vivian floated forward. "He? Who do you mean? There's someone—something in that outfit you're wearing, isn't there? It's certainly not a living being like Luigi and the others."

Dr. Arewo Shitain's glasses glowed a ruby red at the mention, his chapped lips grinning. "Rudy the Clown! It's not my name but I had to call him something! I am an old spirit that was trapped in a music box world and Wario freed him! Then destroyed him. I decided to work for him for a while."

"A scientist working for an evil clown spirit? That's weird," Toadette said.

"So what?!" Dr. Arewo Shitain yelled, his bushy brows furrowed in frustration. "I'm talking to a talkin' mushroom, a plumber, and a spirit of darkness! Is it so weird for a scientist to believe in the supernatural and work with it to gain a better understanding of its power?! Maybe even use said power for his own benefit?!"

"Well, when you put it that way…" Toadette said.

He had a point. Not the whole 'work-for-a-demon' thing, but it wasn't that weird when you think about what this world is like.

"So, this Rudy you were talking about…" Vivian asked cautiously. "He's not completely destroyed, is he?"

"Ah-HAH! You, girly, I like you!" Dr. Arewo Shitain laughed, pointing his cane her way. "After he fell apart, I revived him again! Then, he tragically died from a cold…"

Toadette shook her head. "The all-powerful demon clown died from a cold?"

"Sickness is a very serious matter! Wash your hands, cover your mouth, take your medicine!" Dr. Arewo Shitain screamed. "I cured his cold with some megavitamins, but he quickly grew sick again. I couldn't keep him together! He was weakened after his defeat at Wario's hands. So, when he died again, I merely kept his articles of clothing around! I still live as long as my remains… remain! Ah-HAH!"

Vivian said, "It sounds like he's been possessing you…"

Dr. Arewo Shitain laughed and laughed and laughed at that implication before letting out a brief cough and waving his hand our way. "No, no! Not at all! In fact, it was all quite my idea! He can only talk to me when I'm down here in this room with his remains! I mean, sure, now that I'm wearing his makeup and outfit and especially my big red nose! I can feel his power coursing through me, but he doesn't control me or anything! We're like partners really. Ah-HAH!"

"Prove it, then," Toadette said, digging her feet into the old rotten floorboards. "Give us the Pot of Luxeville. That's it. Nothing else."

Dr. Arewo Shitain seemed to go over the proposal in his head. He went over it and over it and must have thought of quite a few funny jokes because he was laughing again. "Hmm… No. I don't think I will."

"Then we'll find it and take it for ourselves," Toadette said.

Bark bark!

The Polterpup brought our attention to his cute waggling white form. His head popped out of a precious vase, deep gold and lined with a lemon yellow. It was the only thing in the room not covered in dust. There was no doubt about it! The Pot of Luxeville! The hotel's ticket to freedom! Finally!

Toadette moved towards it but suddenly the ground at her feet splintered and exploded into moldy debris. The clown gloves from before had clenched into huge powerful fists, floating back to Dr. Arewo Shitain's sides, an invisible force holding them up.

"I think I'll keep it, actually," Dr. Arewo Shitain said with a horrible laugh. But his eyes screamed in a silent terror as his old body convulsed with laughter. "In fact… I think it's high time I made a return in general! What a better way for me to make a hilarious entrance? I'll finally get revenge on Wario, then I'll run this hotel and everyone in it to the GROUND! Ah-HAH! Once I get bored of you all, I'll turn off that blasted barrier myself and have fun with the entire WORLD! Who'll be able to stop me? Everyone that matters is here! Ah-HAH-HAH-HAAAAH!"

"He's completely lost control," Vivian said, helping Toadette back up to her feet. "The clown demon must have been the mad doctor's last resort. I don't believe he ever wanted this to happen, he was just backed into a corner."

"It's true, girl! Or should I say ma'am…? You're the Shadow Queen, aren't you? Pleasure to finally meet you! Ah-HAH-HAH! But you're not quite her, are you? You're weak, much, much, MUCH weaker! Even I could take you! This useless old man will fail me soon, but I'll just find a better body and dispose of this loser! Can you believe it? He thought we'd be partners! AH-HAH-HAH-HAH! It's just SO funny!"

"It looks like we're in for a fight," Toadette said, stern eyes staring at the old man, his old bones lifting off the dusty boxes.

Circus spotlights appeared and glowed dangerously at his feed, blood red and sickening green highlighting his gum-filled grin. The darkness around us seemed to blow like a strange airy flute, creating cliché creepy clown music.

Dr. Arewo Shitain, nothing more than a colorful puppet, cracked his bones as his arms and legs shot up and down, seemingly lifted by invisible strings. His glasses swirled in bloodless reverie, broken lips bleeding with a smile so wide it made Boos look depressed. A yellowed fist broke through the doctor's precious boxes, sending papers and dust flying into the grinning gloom of red.

Toadette managed to dodge to the side, using her newfound platforming agility. She lobbed fireballs at the fist's way and the old man cried out with an annoyed hiss, shaking his hand like it had only been burnt by some hot food.

Another fist shot out from the darkness, spiked knuckles nearly piercing Vivian's squishy form. Luckily, she dived into the abundance of shadows and reappeared to say, "I sense the core of his being in that clown nose! Aim for that!" She quickly launched one of her own fiery fists towards the old man's nose but was quickly met with an enormous yellow glove that blocked her with ease.

"Ahh-HAH-HAH! Too weak, girl!" Dr. Arewo Shitain howled with deranged laughter. His free hand punched her straight in the face, turning her into nothing more than a splatter of purple shadow on the floorboards. "This couldn't have turned out BETTER for me, HAH-HAH!" He pointed a giant finger at me. "If you didn't interfere, this old fool would have NEVER let me possess him! HAAAH! And look at you! You're a bit younger, aren't you? Your body looks like an upgrade! When I'm done with the three of you, I'll take you for a spin till I find someone better! AH-HAAAAAAH!"

M-me? It's… it really is my fault? I put my nose in things when I shouldn't have and now Vivian's hurt…! I don't want to end up like the old man!

No, no, wait! There's no time to think like this, Luigi! Right now, you have to survive! You have to help your friends! Worry about consequences after! You have to do this, not just because a terrifying clown will steal your mind, but because your friends will get hurt!

"I've been calling to you all in your dreams, calling you all here whenever that blasted barrier went down. It was only a matter of time before you fools showed up!"

No time to process that!

What do I do, what do I do… Um! Maybe this!?

I charged my flashlight up like I normally would against any other ghost, but instead of pointing it at the chaotic clown creep, I aimed it at the splatter of shadow that was Vivian. The blinding flash suddenly put her usual form back together, if in a deer-in-headlights kind of way, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Phew! Thank you, Luigi!"

"Nice!" Toadette cheered, hopping on a fist that was launched her way. The fist sprawled to the floor like a stunned insect. Using it like a springboard, she flew into the air and threw another flurry of fireballs at Dr. Arewo Shitain's big red nose.

He cried out in anger, loose fireballs lighting the fluttering papers around us. His nose honked and pulsed with veins as he swiped the fire away. For once, his lips formed an ugly frown, and he didn't laugh. His fist came from above, pounding Toadette into the floor.

Oh no, oh no, no! That must have really hurt, was she…?

Toadette's fiery red colors blinked and blipped out of existence. Under the splinters and cracked mold, Regular (Technically Super) Toadette appeared, coughing and wiping the soot off her arms. "Aw, man, I really should have brought another Fire Flower…" At least it seemed to take the brunt of the damage for her. "Luigi! We're gonna need your help this time!"

I gulped. Some part of me wanted to scream 'No!' to her again. Another part blindly wanted to agree. But if I was given just one moment to think about it, it was all too clear I had to help her! It wasn't a matter of me having no control over myself or people having control of me! I was deciding to help her because it was the right thing to do!

Plus, if I didn't, I'd lose a lot more control than being able to say yes or no…

"Okey-dokey!" I replied, hopping in close to this terrifying clown glowing with an unfunny aura. My heart was pounding in my throat. I thought I was going to throw up! But my choices were to try and survive or don't, so I was going to survive! It's what my brother would do! It's what my brother would want me to do, right? And besides! It's not just for my sake!

"Annoying!" Dr. Arewo Shitain's voice boomed. Two fists flew towards me like Bullet Bills, but I merely let out my usual scream of terror and ducked, tripped, and panicked in a circle, managing to somehow avoid injury. "Not funny!"

After my panic attack, I looked back to see Toadette hop on one fist and Vivian slam the other down. The big yellow fists fell to the floor, just like before.

That clown nose was the source of his power, right? Fireballs probably hurt it a lot, maybe even a hop or a punch from Vivian would do some good damage, but could I possibly do even more…?

I felt the Poltergust's freezing steel at my back, cooling me from the fiery heat. Of course! If there's anything I'm good at doing, it's sucking! I pulled out my vacuum, flipped the power on, and sucked up one of those huge spikey fists!

It was way too big to fit inside the nozzle, but that wasn't the point! I lugged the giant fist and aimed it straight at Dr. Arewo Shitain's big ruby nose. With a shriek, I switched my vacuum from suck to blow and shot the curled fist right back at the clown like a missile!

His eyes swirled with pain, stars spinning over his head as he wobbled in the air, that nose of his bruised like a rotten tomato. Luigi like-a-dat!

"All right!" Toadette cheered. "That messed him up!"

"Grr! Just like that infernal Wario! Are you two related?" Dr. Arewo Shitain hissed. To be completely honest, I'm still not sure! "It doesn't matter! It'll make it all the funnier when I take over that scrawny body of yours and use it to pummel him! Hah-HAH!"

His fists regained control again, and they shot out through the darkness and smoke towards us. Toadette and Vivian knew his pattern by now. Toadette hopped up in the air and Vivian slunk into the shadows, but…

Dr. Arewo Shitain let out a gruesome laugh as his fists suddenly stopped, throwing the two a curveball. He slapped Toadette out of the air and pulled Vivian out of the darkness like a piece of gum, flicking her against the wall.

Without the girls at my side, his groping gloves found me. His giggles echoed through the dark, swiping and grabbing at me. I managed to trip and jump my way over him, but only for so long. Without a stun, my Poltergust did nothing against his fists!

I ran through the flaming dark, narrowly avoiding each attack, trying my best to jump on his fists, but he was all too aware of what his own weakness was. His hands moved at complete random, spinning and feinting and flying towards me without any discernable pattern, all while he cackled like a maniac. Eventually, he held out his finger like one would hold out their leg to trip someone and caught me sprawled out on the floor. Before I could get back up, I felt the rubbery grip of the demon clown clasped around my entire body.

"Ahhhh-hah-hahhh-HAH! I shall crush you like a bug!" the mysterious figure boomed, squeezing me with all his strength. Ack! I couldn't breathe! I couldn't move! I felt the Poltergust at my back crumpling, my bones very nearly to burst! His grip around my neck…! It was just like when Bowser had grabbed me…! I couldn't escape, I wasn't physically strong like Wario!

Pain overtook my thoughts, my brain screamed at me to keep breathing, but I couldn't! I desperately tried to cry out, but I had no voice. My arms and legs had completely lost all control. There was nothing I could do!

But unlike what happened with Bowser, I wasn't alone.

Toadette appeared from the blackness like a pink flare, stomping one of the hands strangling me. In the next moment, a small red fist burning with power crashed into the other yellowed hand.

I gasped for dear life as I fell to the ground along with the clown's hands, but Toadette and Vivian quickly helped me back up. "C'mon, Luigi!" Toadette cried.

"Finish him off, Luigi!" Vivian cheered.

"O-okey-d-dokey!" I sputtered, reaching for my Poltergust nozzle one last time. I sucked up one of those disgusting yellow fists and turned my aim back at Dr. Arewo Shitain's boney head.

"N-no, no wait! Hold on a second!" the green doctor begged, waving his arms back and forth in an attempt to regain control over the spiky fists. "This isn't funny at all! Don't do it!"

Being a bully to me is one thing! I think sometimes maybe I deserve it! But I know for sure my friends don't!

You know what? Nobody deserves to be bullied, actually! Not even me! This kind of pain and torture he wanted to inflict on people… it wasn't right! Nobody should have to feel like me! I'm going to do my best to make the world a better place and that means teaching you a lesson!

Feeling the immense pressure that had built up in my vacuum from the suction, I flicked the switch to blow with all my might! That yellow fist, used for cruelty and evil, shot back right at its owner like a shooting star through the night sky. It slammed into the Dr. Arewo Shitain's bonehead with such a force that it blasted him across the room, his body spinning and spinning.

"Oww!" Dr. Arewo Shitain yelped, finally in his own voice. The bright red clown nose bounced along the floorboards towards us, brimming with circus-light energy inside it. The fists stopped their disgusting writhing and fell to the floor, lifeless.

"We did it!" Vivian cheered, hugging my arm.

Ever cautious, Toadette kept a stern frown. "Not quite yet. Never say it's over until it's over for sure. Where's the Pot of Luxeville? Where's that Mad Scienstein? We need them both."

I nodded.

I flashed my light around the now darkened room, shades of gray ash blocking my view from the fight. The flames and spotlights appeared to have flickered out after that powerful punch. The place was a mess before, but now even more so, with paintings, glass, and holes spiderwebbing from every crevice you could find.

My light reflected something glowing a smelly gold. The Pot of Luxeville! It survived the fight! I made my way towards it until I realized it was shaking. Huh?

"Heh heh heh!" a raspy voice laughed. Suddenly the pot jumped up, revealing a bruised and battered Dr. Arewo Shitain. His green make up was thrown off in the blast. His clown outfit was torn apart and revealed a lab coat beneath. "Oh no, it's—it's not over yet!"

"Doctor!" Toadette yelled, ready to pounce. "Give it up already, will you!?" She turned to Vivian. "Is he still possessed?"

Vivian shook her head, puffy pink curls bouncing calmly. "No, I don't believe so. That mysterious clown figure seems to have vanished completely. At least for the time being."

"I'm not giving up!" Dr. Arewo Shitain spat madly, spittle dripping in his dusty beard. "I've got one more trick up my sleeve! I've—I've already lost so much! At this point, what else is there to lose, huh? The logical thing is to keep going!"

"Sir!" Vivian pleaded. "You don't have to keep doing this for that reason! You've always got something to live for! No matter how bad things seem, they can always get better! I promise you!"

Glasses swirled with a renewed vigor. Dr. Arewo Shitain grinned. "You're right, girly! I like your style! I'm not giving up! I can make things better for me!"

"That's not what I meant…"

He ignored her and chose instead to hold the Pot of Luxeville over his head, what few teeth he had left glinting dully. "There's a reason I stole this, you know! I believe it has a hidden power! I spent a few years of my life as an archaeologist, remember?"

Toadette growled. "Is there another spirit in there? Or some object of power?"

Vivian tilted her head. "I don't sense anything from it, though."

"Yes, that's right!" Dr. Arewo Shitain went on, agreeing with no one in particular. "I found this beauty out by the Golden Pyramid, deep in some jungle! When I examined it, there was no doubt an overwhelming feeling of power gurgled within it!" He frowned. "But that blasted Wario stole it from me when I went inside the pyramid! He must have heard what I said about it and decided it was of incredible value as well!"

What do we do!? We had to stop him, right? That's a thing we should do, right?!

"We have to be careful," Toadette said calmly. "If we get too rough with him, he might break the pot and then we're stuck here until Dr. Crygor can get us out. Plus, Wario will hassle us for all the money we've got."

It wasn't exactly a life-or-death situation, but it would be annoying to deal with.

"Now! Witness the new and improved Mad Scienstein: DELUXE!" Dr. Arewo Shitain shouted, placing the pot over his bald bonehead. He held his hands out, cackling once more in that raspy throat of his. "Yes! Yes! I feel the power inside of me! Swirling and coursing through my intestines!"

Intestines…?

"Heh heh heh!" he laughed and breathed in deeply through his bushy nostrils. "I can smell the gaseous power! The overwhelming stench of victory! It's in my stomach, gurgling and dribbling like a river of gold! This time I have full control! Prepare yourselves, fools!"

"Great…" Toadette groaned, her little arms and feet taking another fighting stance.

Something still didn't feel right about this. Vivian was confused as well. I kept my Poltergust at the ready just in case, but even I wasn't terrified of him. I'm terrified of phone calls! Why wasn't I nervous? Maybe… maybe because my friends were by my side? Or…

"You'll all rue the day you forgot about Mad Scienstein!" he cried. "Now is when I get my rev—EH?!"

"Bark bark!"

Polterpuppy popped his head out of the wall beside Dr. Arewo Shitain, tongue lolling in excitement. He seemed very happy to come back now that the scary clown was gone. Of course, the old man wasn't ready for the Polterpup's sudden pounce! Who would be? Even I jumped at it!

Dr. Arewo Shitain screamed in fright, leaping into the air. The Pot of Luxeville slipped off his bald boney head. He tumbled into the floorboards screeching, "OWW!"

"The pot!" Toadette yelped, running as fast as her little feet could carry her. She'd never make it in time to catch it, nor Vivian.

But I—I could! I let my cowardly instincts take over again. My cowardice wanted to get out of here as quickly and as easily as possible! They'd know what to do! My fingers flipped the nozzle of my Poltergust to suck and like a ghostly wind, the Pot of Luxeville flew into my grasp.

Vivian quickly held it carefully with both hands and I released it. "Luigi! Great job!"

"Heh-heh…" My nose felt itchy at the praise. I didn't do anything special! I just was too scared to let the pot break.

"No! No, no, no!" Dr. Arewo Shitain screamed, hopping out of the debris with a small bandage on his head. "I—I can't be done for yet! I don't want to go back to being nobody! Who's going to remember me now if I'm nothing more than another failed scientist!? Please, give it back!"

Toadette stood over the pitiful old man. Tears dripped down from behind his swirly glasses, giving his dried wrinkly skin the desperate moisture it needed. "You know we're not going to do that. Come on. It's over."

"It's—It's not over! It can't be over! I don't want this to be the end of my life! My whole life! I don't have much time left, I'm so old! I don't want it to end…!"

The Polterpup yipped and hopped on the old man's ragged lab coat, licking his gross tear-stained beard. Even Toadette couldn't help but scratch the back of her head in uneasy pity. She offered a hand to Dr. Arewo Shitain to help him up.

Toadette said, "We'll figure out what to do with you. If you truly wanted to be remembered, you should have done something to help others. Instead, you locked yourself away from everyone, despising them all for forgetting about you, making grand schemes to get revenge. That's no way to be remembered." She sighed. "But your life isn't over yet thankfully. It was certainly close to ending. You've still got time."

Dr. Arewo Shitain sniffed but didn't say anything else. It appeared he had finally given up. What else was there he could do?

"I'll take him up in the dumbwaiter first," Toadette said, pulling the old man along gently. "You two follow me up with the pot after, okay?"

Vivian nodded.

I responded with an, "Okey-dokey!"

My legs trembled with adrenaline and I thought, should I be proud of myself? I essentially made an old man cry. Sure, I did kind of help stop a demon clown from potentially taking over the world, but did that make up for it? Could I feel pride in what I'd done?

… I wasn't sure.