"Huh."

There was a girl with garish pink hair that was gaping at Lena as she sprawled lazily in an empty train compartment with equally garish purple hair.

"That box dye, or are you a freak like me?" Lena mused as she set down an advanced potions book on her lap.

"You're a metamorphagus too?" The girl demanded as she snapped out of her shock and launched herself onto the bench across from Lena.

"Either that or I'm just realllly good at nonverbal self-transfiguration, I suppose," Lena said with a crooked grin.

"But only Blacks have the metamorphagus gene," the girl blurted in confusion.

Looking at her, Lena realized they looked faintly similar in the gunmetal shade of their eyes, and the willowy build that Lena hadn't quite grown into yet.

"Lena Black, Lady of the Most Arrogant House of Bigots, at your service." Lena sketched as graceful of a bow as she could while she was seated. "Does that mean you're one of my Most Royally Inbred cousins, fair lady?"

"Oh, Merlin," the girl breathed as her hair flared into a brilliant gold.

And then she burst out laughing like she knew someone was rolling in their grave.

From that reaction, Lena concluded that she too had besmirched the Black name in some way, and was now revelling in the sweet sweet karma of it all.

"Yes, that's how I felt about the matter when I learned too," Lena agreed as she nodded sagely.

"I'm sorry," the girl gasped as she wiped tears from her eyes and straightened from where she'd doubled over in laughter. "My name is Tonks, and I'm a sixth year. It's so nice to meet you, cousin!"

Lena grinned and stuck a hand out across the gap separating them. "So what did you do to get booted from the family, then, Tonks?"

"Oh, my mum married a muggleborn, you see. Her mother Druella disowned her years ago for it, and that's all there is to it." Tonks gave an impish grin that doubly confirmed their relation to each other. "So where the hell did you come from?"

Lena decided that she rather liked Tonks.

"Oh, well apparently dear old dad had an illicit affair with a muggleborn and sent me off to an orphanage before getting himself killed," Lena shrugged. "It was a bit of a shock when McGonagall brought me down to Gringotts and gave me the coffers of a small empire. Does the name Regulus Black mean anything to you?"

Tonks was cackling again, and it was a pleasantly raucous sound that reminded Lena of Marie.

Lena found herself joining in, and soon they were just laughing at each other's laughs as the absurdity of the situation set in.

"Oh, Merlin, you've got to meet my mum, she'd love you!" Tonks gasped.

"Oh I'd be delighted, cousin," Lena told her. "Do you think she'd like a vault for Christmas? I have roughly fifty and absolutely zero interest in capitalist values."

"Oh, Merlin," Tonks said again as she looked at Lena like the single orange in a bowl of rotting apples.

"I think this will be great fun," Lena decided as she slipped her book in her briefcase. She'd charmed to look like a messenger bag, and she switched her hair to match Tonks' pink locks so they more closely resembled each other.

"Oh, Merlin."

"Yes, yes, he can have one too."

—

They ended up sitting together the entire train ride, and Lena was perfectly happy to meet the friends of one of her only surviving cousins.

There was Nina Flemming, a plump Hufflepuff with a smile like the sun and caramel skin that radiated warmth. She had immediately gotten heart eyes at the sight of a 'baby first year' and seemed content to take Lena under her wing right then and there like a true mom friend.

Next came Ashlyn Knight, another Hufflepuff that was far too intelligent for her own good. She had a razor sharp wit and stunning mahogany eyes that flashed teasingly behind horn rimmed glasses, and Tonks proudly introduced her to Lena as the captain of the quidditch team.

Finally there was Charlie Weasley, a towering Gryffindor that was built like a boulder and had a laugh like rolling thunder.

He had taken one look at Lena's bright pink hair and grown paler than a sheet, his light dusting of freckles popping out like stars on a clear winter night.

"There's another one," he'd breathed as Tonks yanked him down beside her and gave him all the gorey details of the situation.

Though his bright blue eyes warmed considerably to Lena when her niffler, Perry, had come nosing out of her bag to investigate the commotion and ended up nested in the wild tangle of Charlie's russet hair.

"My brothers are first years too," he told her as the train pulled into the Hogwarts station. "They're twins, and rather troublesome, but somehow I think you'd get along just fine."

"I'll keep an eye out for them," Lena chirped. "It was nice meeting you Charlie, Nina, Ashlyn!"

"Tonks!" She cried as she finished nodding to the others and turned to the bright faced girl. "I'll see you on the other side, you beautiful bastard!"

Tonks bellowed a laugh and wrapped Lena in a headlock. "The only bastard here is you, brat!" She roared, "Now get to the boats with the other firsties, most noble Lady Black!"

"I love you too, cousin!" Lena swooned as she waved farewell and ambled down to the boats.

What an interesting turn of events.

Oh how she'd missed the bonds of family.

—

"Black, Lena!" McGonagall shouted at the front of the great hall.

There were four giant tables that stretched lengthwise across the beautiful cavern that this school called a hall.

On the benches of those tables, happily seated beneath the dazzling night sky and a massive sea of floating candles, were hundreds of students in richly colored robes.

And they were all staring at her in absolute shock.

Lena strolled towards the stool amidst the boisterous cheers of her cousin. It sat in front of the faculty table on the raised dais towards the far side of the cavern.

And the motley crew seated at the faculty table was staring at her just as incredulously as the students.

So Lena just smiled at McGonagall as she placed the hat on her head, and the great hall faded from her mind as the worn burlap slipped over her eyes.

"My, my, a true Black after all these years?" A voice crooned in her ears. "What an interesting mind you have here, lass."

Lena thought the hat must get awfully bored, sorting students into the same four houses each year.

She idly wondered if it ever considered going on strike.

"You're a tricky one, you are." The hat told her. "You've got the brains for Ravenclaw, and the work ethic of Hufflepuff… and you're certainly cunning, but you lack the ambition of a true Slytherin."

Maybe it just wouldn't put her in a house.

Was that even possible?

She felt the sudden urge to find out and damn the consequences.

"Ah, that'll do it, I think."

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat roared, and Lena shrugged as she popped up from the stool and trotted over to the house of lions.

She hadn't felt particularly strongly about any one house, and Charlie seemed nice enough when she talked to him, so she supposed Gryffindor couldn't be all that bad.

By the time the sorting was over, Lena found herself sandwiched between Charlie Weasley and a first year named Heidi. She was a skittish little thing with chocolate brown hair and big hazel eyes that widened at Lena when she said hello.

Across from Lena sat two twins built exactly like prepubescent Charlies, and Lena found herself laughing as they fixed her with identical grins.

"So I hear you're a metamorphagus." One of them said skeptically.

"Can you really look like someone else whenever you want? The other asked with a shrewd gaze.

Lena shrugged and switched her face and voice to match theirs. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous, Weasleys."

The twin grins widened.

"Wicked," they chorused as a mischievous gleam flashed in their eyes.

Charlie paled again as it entered Lena's too.

—

Hogwarts, Lena learned, was absolutely riddled with secrets.

And if there was one thing that an old soul with no need for money, material possessions, or more responsibilities could wish to have —

It was secrets.

And fun, of course.

So it should have come as no surprise when she and the Weasley twins began to make names for themselves amongst the student and faculty population.

Who began to find the twisting passageways hidden in a network behind tapestries?

Which impish trio began learning to navigate the castle's ever changing sea of magic like battle weary sailors?

What band of thrill seekers began to wreak havoc wherever they roamed?

The twins were the catalysts to their mischief in the beginning.

If it were up to Lena, she would have been content to simply explore the castle and slink through the shadows until she found something to occupy their interest.

But the twins?

They liked to play, and make things of interest, and Lena began to love it as well.

Class meant little when Lena had read through the curriculum up to third year and mastered the spells up to second year.

Not to mention her studies of more advanced topics in her dreams, and her years of experience with her odd brand of wandless, foreign magic that she used like a forgotten instinct.

So teachers began to fear when the trio had class together as mayhem began to trail in their wake.

Though they scratched their heads at how Lena managed to sit at the top of her year despite rarely paying attention in class.

"How do you always manage to get caught when I'm not there?" Lena demanded one morning at breakfast.

The twins were across from her as usual, and they had identical gleams in their eye.

"Well you see, dearest Lena—"

"You seem to be—"

"A canary in a coal mine when it comes to trouble."

She leveled them with an unimpressed stare as she slowly took a sip of pumpkin juice.

They were far too chipper for having gained double detention last night when she'd decided to sleep for once.

"What did you find?" She asked suspiciously.

"I solemnly swear—"

"That you'll love it."

—

Lena had a copy of the map for each of them in a month's time.

It would have been sooner, but she'd had to learn an entirely new branch of charms meant for fifth years, and a subset of dark magic that was similar to runic insanity in order to create a copy spell that would replicate it properly.

And she had a business to run!

But Fred and George were brilliant guard dogs, and they had enlisted the help of a bright eyed boy named Lee Jordan to make sure Lena could study what she needed during breaks without being bothered.

"No, no, you mustn't interrupt her, Charlie, she's deep into her 'musing mode.'" Fred declared as he sprawled next to her on a crimson couch in the common room.

"Yes, if you try to speak with her now, her mind may shatter from coming out of the trance too soon." George agreed from where he sat on her other side scribbling innovations for various Zonko's products.

"She just looks like she's reading," Charlie said incredulously, warily eying the defensive postures of his little brothers.

"Oh, but looks are deceiving, Charlie!" Fred cried, clutching his book on potion ingredients closer to his chest.

"It's true!" George warned, placing down his quill to reach for his wand. "And if you don't believe us—"

"We'll just have to hex you until you leave."

Lena hummed obliviously as she found a particularly promising enchantment.

"I think I'll just go, then," Charlie laughed uneasily. "Tell her there's a book on dragons she might like on the shelf, yeah?"

"Of course, brother dear."

"Stop doing that!"

—

There was an obnoxious little Ravenclaw first year that liked to harass Lena between classes when he could find her.

His name was Leonard Gill, and he was terribly bitter that his class rank was only second.

"Oi, Black!" Leonard called as he hustled out of potions to catch her. "What do you reckon that Snape meant by that last bit about silverdust and citrus?"

Lena sighed as she pushed Perry the Niffler further into her bag, and looked up from the book she'd been reading as she walked.

"Probably nothing we'll really be learning for a couple of years now," Lena replied knowingly.

Leonard scowled at the response, and finally took notice of her appearance.

"Hey, you can't wear that, it's the boys' uniform!"

Sometimes Lena liked to wear pants.

Maybe it came from being a metamorphagus, or maybe it was just her, but she didn't particularly care for everyone telling her that she always had to be a girl and do feminine things.

Because she really didn't.

"Boys, girls — not really much of a difference when you can switch between them with a thought," Lena drawled.

But Leonard was a stickler for rules, and was horribly uptight about these things. "No, no, the uniform is in place for a reason, Lena, whether you like it or not you're a girl before anything else, so you can't wear the boys uniform because it's against the rules!"

It was child's logic, and if Lena had gotten more sleep she might have just ignored him.

But something sparked in annoyance within her chest at demand for conformity, and she'd really been spending too much time with twin menaces.

So she let the evil grin take over her face, shifted into a stunning masculine form that towered over Leonard, and whipped around to leer down into his face.

"Are you sure about that, Len?" She purred in a low baritone, "because you're looking more like a girl than me right now, sweetheart."

Lena watched the boy gape like a fish as a red flush came over his face, and Lena took the advantage to push him back against the wall.

"Cat got your tongue?" She drawled as she braced a forearm above his head. "This is why you should mind your own business, Leonard, dear — sometimes people aren't what they seem."

She flashed her teeth in a sharp smile when he could only stutter half responses, and casually pushed off the wall to pop back into her usual blue haired self.

Lena frowned when there was a choking sound beside her as Leonard composed himself on the wall.

She whirled around with her wand out, but stopped when she realized exactly who it was.

Charlie and Tonks stood across the hall with matching looks of shock, and Lena gave them a blandly interested wave as she pocketed her wand once more.

"Behold," she drawled in deadpan voice as she swept a dramatic arm behind her, "the sexual awakening of a preteen."

The choking sound had apparently been Tonks stifling one of her raucous laughs.

A laugh that failed to be suppressed a second time.

Charlie just looked dead inside, and tipped his head up to the ceiling as if asking it how he got there.

"Well, I'm off to transfiguration, then," Lena said promptly. "Have a nice day, all."

"Charlie, I think I'm in love with my cousin," she heard faintly behind her.

"Tonks, I know you're a Black, but stop with the incest jokes!"

"It's an underused category of joke, Charlie."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

A/N: :)