Written for the 2022 Tropes & Fandoms event - Trope: Miscommunication


The Course Never Did Run Smooth

Phil reeled back from the slap that the angry woman in front of him had just dealt…and then stared at the wand that she had pointed at him, as well. For many reasons, he had been nervous about Hermione's reaction...but he had certainly not expected that responseafter he had gone through the established secret channels between SHIELD and the Ministry of Magic in order to request the witch's presence.

After all, he had done the same thing several times before when he needed her help to figure out whatever issue at the time SHIELD was concerned might have a magical cause. In fact, her skills and knowledge had been invaluable during Thor's first disastrous visit to Earth…and in several other high profile cases, as well.

On the current occasion, however, Phil and his new team were dealing with the strange 0-8-4 they had found in an ancient cave. When FitzSimmons scanned it, Phil had immediately thought of Hermione because it emitted frequencies that mimicked the waves that had been measured whenever a witch or wizard performed magic in front of some of SHIELD's scientific instruments.

Therefore, he had decided to call in the expert – especially since he really just wanted to see her again. It had been too long…and he had missed her. Plus, their last meeting had been a bit of a disaster, as Hermione had just proven that she had not forgotten.

As a result, the "object of unknown origin" was temporarily forgotten for the moment as his hand came up to gingerly touch his abused cheek, instead. He simply did not know what was wounded more by her action; it or his pride.

"What's the point of having friends," she hissed, "if they make you think that they're dead?"

"We were friends?" he asked her in a bewildered…but still hopeful…tone – even as he also finally became aware of the real reason behind her painful greeting.

After all, he knew the woman had no idea how he really felt about her…because they were always so busy dealing with whatever monstrous problem was at hand that he could never seem to find the time…or the nerve…to tell her. Nevertheless, it was true. Hermione Granger was such an amazing, intriguing, and scarily efficient woman that he had fallen for her practically from the moment they met. Somehow, though, she had always acted so professional that he had never realized during all the times that they had worked together that she might have actually liked him, too – especially after the last less-than-ideal occasion that they had seen each other.

Looking back, though, he finally understood that it might have been prudent to let the witch know sooner that he was still among the living.

It had just not been all that long, however, since he had finished recuperating in Tahiti, started his new assignment on the Bus with May, and recruited Skye and had to deal with her training. Consequently, there just had not been much opportunity to get in touch with the woman…especially in the circuitous way that her elusive wizarding world demanded….even though she had frequently been in his thoughts during that time.

"We could have been!" Unaware of his private musing, Hermione answered his question vehemently and her still-pointed wand wavered because she was still upset that the man she thought had been killed by Loki was standing in front of her, alive and well. After all, she had shed so many tears over him and their wasted opportunities when she had heard the news. Therefore, her anger burned hot…both for the present…and the past, as well, as she clearly remembered the last time they had met. It was finally time to confront the man about that situation.

"You know, if you wanted my attention back then, all you had to do was ask me out for coffee like a normal person…instead of having me arrested! That was almost as bad as pretending to be dead."

"You weren't arrested…not really," Phil automatically denied as he thought of the time she mentioned…but carefully ignored the comparison with the other thing for the time being. After all, he knew that he would have to both explain and apologize for that very soon. Therefore, he focused on the first part of her accusation, instead.

It had not been one of his finest moments, but she was right - he had been desperate at the time to catch her attention. Apparently, it had worked…but in all of the wrong ways. "You were simply…um…temporarily detained…under the suspicion of the illegal export of exotic animals," he continued to explain.

"Just detained? In a vibranium-lined cell so I couldn't apparate? I call bullshite, Phil. You bloody well knew what you were doing. And it was a baby dragon! I was taking him to Charlie's sanctuary in Romania...which you also knew! It was just because Ron was with me, wasn't it? You never liked him…and he never liked you, either!"

At the undeniable truth of the statement, Phil froze for a moment before he sheepishly confessed his culpability. "I didn't expect that redheaded Weasel fellow to show up with you…and I admit that I might have overreacted at the time."

Hermione's anger flared again and even her hair began to spark from the force of her ire at his admission. "You might have overreacted? You think so? Well...you were still seeing that cellist from Portland, weren't you? I wasn't thrilled about that…but I didn't turn you over to the Dementors at Azkaban because of it, either. So what's your point? And for your information, Ron and I had been over for months at that time...partly because he's a bit of a hothead – as you saw when you tried to take away his wand...I do hope that agent was able to grow his hair back and regain control of his bladder, by the way. Mainly, though, we had broken up because I admitted to him that I was in love with someone else. He was just with me that day because he had also been planning to visit his brother."

"Audrey and I were never together. We were just friends and I would go to see her play with the orchestra whenever I was in town." As he wondered why Hermione had even brought up that subject, Phil tried to explain one detail at a time before his train of thought completely derailed.

He liked to think that he was normally a sharp-witted individual. Otherwise, he would never have progressed as far as he had with SHIELD to become the Director's right hand man in the first place. However, at the moment, he was dealing with information overload and his brain had never seemed to work properly around the intriguing witch, anyway…as his past questionable behavior could attest. His mind was always in a muddle around her…and the current occasion was no exception!

He did not even hear her faintly strangled-sounding question, "Just friends?" because he was too busy trying to figure out what she had meant with her earlier statement.

"His brother?" he asked in absolute confusion.

"Yes!" Hermione practically shouted in exasperation at the entire absurd conversation as she finally allowed her wand to drop back down to her side. "Charlie is Ron's brother!"

"What?" Phil was floored by that connection…and how it rendered his jealousy that day as completely unnecessary…until it finally struck him what else she had just said. "Wait a minute…did you just say that you were in love with somebody else?"

At the question, all of the anger slowly drained out of her voice and her body drooped alarmingly as she turned away to holster her wand. "That bloke's been gone for a long time," she told him softly as she avoided eye contact with him. With that uncharacteristic behavior, Phil suddenly felt the full force of his guilt for not forewarning her about the situation before he basically just ambushed her with his unexpected living presence – especially if she had already lost someone she cared about.

"Hermione, I'm sor…" he began.

"You ought to be, you wanker!" she interrupted as just a flash of her anger reappeared and her eyes met his again before her look turned to one of despair as her voice quivered with the force of her emotions, as well. "W…why didn't you let me know what was going on? Why didn't you ask for my h…help? You had to know that I would've come…despite the whole stupidly thought out detainment situation. After all, I never could stay mad at you." Despite the tears that filled her eyes, a small smile also crossed her face as she added, "You always looked entirely too good in a suit for that."

Phil started in surprised as he realized that it was being to sound as if he was the bloke that she had just mentioned, the one that she had loved…

"Wha…what?" was all that he managed to say as he tried to process that incredible thought.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake! You're simply impossible!" she muttered with feeling as she wiped her eyes and started to grin, instead.

After all, her roller coaster of emotions had finally settled down enough for her to also feel the joy of knowing that the man was actually there in the flesh with her. Plus, since she could currently think past her initial anger and grief, she realized that there was probably a very good reason for what had happened in regards to his death, in the first place. After all, his agency dealt in life and death secrets…quite literally! Therefore, she was not currently as surprised as she had been…even though she would definitely insist on hearing that story…in great detail…very soon…or else!

First, though, since there had obviously been way too much miscommunication already, she knew that she had to make her intentions crystal clear for the man. Therefore, she finally took matters into her own hands as she cupped the cheek she had just slapped...and pulled the very confused agent in for a kiss, instead.

At the unexpected action, Phil's muddled bewilderment did indeed turn into instant clarification as he finally knew exactly what to do with the beautiful witch in his arms. Consequently, he returned her kiss with every once of feeling that he had for her. After all, how could he possibly do otherwise?

When they finally had to break to come up for air, Hermione smiled sheepishly at him and leaned her forehead against his before she spoke again. "Well, I guess what Shakespeare said was correct, after all…The course to true love never did run smooth."

"Isn't that the truth?" Phil muttered. "I have a feeling, though, that in this case the destination was definitely worth the journey…as crazy as that was!" Then he bent down to kiss the woman again and to prove his point.

"It better be," the woman replied firmly with another smile and a final kiss of her own before she pulled back with obvious reluctance. "Business first, though…after all, wasn't there a 0-8-4 that we needed to investigate? That sounds like something we should handle as soon as possible."

Phil realized that he had completely forgotten about the initial reason for Hermione's visit to begin with because of the unexpected direction it had taken. However, he also found that he could not stop smiling about that wonderful detour as he took the witch's hand and led her to the nearby Bus to meet the rest of his team before they headed out to the cave.