I don't own Twilight. The rest, mine.

10.

Edward's POV

"But not bad...no, I don't believe that you're bad."

Her scent dangles, blanketing the wide room. I've never been so happy to breathe it in as I am now, in this moment. It tangles in well with the memories. Charlie had stayed with her for a few hours but left early this morning. I kept away until he was gone but with only the promise that I would keep my distance from the bed was I even allowed in the room once the Chief was out of sight.

"And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should..."

My hand reaches out to the covers, itching to draw them back - I want to see her face, have it poke out from behind the pile of cocoa hair that's swept across it. Her curves mold into the mattress, covered with a thin layer of sheets. She stirs, flipping over on her back and burrowing deeper down. It causes her right foot to edge off the end. When did feet become so interesting?

"So what you're trying to say is that I'm your brand of heroin?"

Just a little closer...

The daylight shines in - provoking her to wake up. My fingers ghost quickly over her, wiping away the hair from her face to allow me my indulgence. And I bask in the sight of her. The bags under her eyes are gone and her lips are plumper and less chapped. Touching the tip of my finger to the bottom one, I start to lean down, my own lips just a beat away.

"Can I have a minute to be human?"

Suddenly Alice stands in the open doorway. "Don't be stealing kisses that aren't yours."

I sigh softly, running a hand through my hair absentmindedly. "I haven't seen her in ages!"

"And whose fault is that?"

Snarling out a curse under my breath, I walk to the door. "I'm not leaving completely, not this time." Alice hops over to the bed as I leave and I want to believe that everything will be okay, but I can't help thinking of her voice ringing in my ears.

"But it won't be all right when I'm not with you..."

And now I'm angry - resenting everything and everyone - including Bella. But above all, I'm furious with myself. For once, I loathe who I am more than what I am. It's a tsunami instead of a thunderstorm. Everything drowns together - too much to handle and the voices of my family blend. Sopranos, altos and tenors fade into each other's tones like watercolors in a painting, and I run.

I run outside and into the woods, past the stream by the house - streaking myself with mud from puddles along the way. I could easily have avoided them...but what does it matter now? The puddles can cake me with dirt and splash me with brown water but I've hit rock bottom anyway.

Hearing the running behind me, I know they'll track me down easily - footprints, scent and all.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore..."

"Then don't..."

"Edward!" Emmett yells in the distance. For a second I think I'm going crazy because I can smell another vampire nearby and it's not Emmett. As I turn and look through the trees I get bulldozed to the ground from behind.

"How did you cover your thoughts like that?" I ask in amazement as Jasper shoves himself off me and into a standing position. He rolls his eyes.

"May I remind you I had another life outside of this?"

I stare, dumbfounded.

He continues, "I was a Major in the Civil War, Edward - we didn't have it as easy as the North, we had to rely on other skills much of the time. Besides, I figured out a long time ago it's easiest to get to you when you're thinking."

"I wasn't thinking that hard," I start to argue but he sends me a sharp look.

"Thoughts and actions can easily deceive but emotions never lie. You may not like it, but I know you as well as Carlisle."

My temper flares, "Then why? Why would you attack her like that, Jasper? If you know me so well, why would you try and take her away from me?" My eyes narrow, and his thoughts are guarded.

He swallows, helping me off the ground. He looks at me for a long moment and then walks away to a tree, leaning on it. "You have to know I didn't mean to...I didn't want to. I may have thought she was a danger to us before but once things...progressed, I knew I couldn't hurt her."

I snap at him. "Not the way I did, right?" Crouching down I let out a snarl. Automatically his own instincts take over and he does the same.

"Damn it, you of all people should know that I would never want to bring you pain, especially when it comes to Bella." He keeps trying to calm me down but my thoughts are causing my emotions to swing in every direction. Finally, I've had it, lunging at him.

He's quick as he dodges me easily. Rolling under me, I try to grab his legs as I see his next move in my mind. Barely getting away, he turns swiftly from behind and starts to put me in a headlock, but this time I dodge out of the way.

We circle each other, trying to judge the next move the other will make.

You're shocked, aren't you - of course I couldn't ever beat the mind-reader," he returns sarcastically.

In his gloating, he's distracted and I leap forward again. Though this time, before I can do any real damage, Carlisle is on me encircling his arms in a lock around my waist. Emmett has a firm grip opposite us on Jasper and we both struggle for our freedom, desperate to finish what we started.

"Enough!" Carlisle roars, and we both fall limp. They release and step out from behind us. "What's going on? I would expect more from two men who have two women in that house who need them both more than ever."

The silence goes on. The only thing heard for miles is the rain.

"Start talking.'

"Just some unfinished business, Carlisle. Jasper and I were talking."

"That was just talking?" Emmett asks, raising an eyebrow.

"It would have been if Edward wasn't so self-righteous," Jasper snaps, glaring my way.

"Why should I listen to anything you have to say - you tried to take her away from me!"

"You took her away from yourself, Edward. I didn't mean to attack her - the thirst was too much. Do you know? Can you even begin to feel how guilty I've felt ever since?" He murmurs out the last part and as I look at him, really look, I understand.

"I told you, thoughts can be cloaked, but emotions can't. All those emotions surrounding you weren't just yours - they still aren't."

I start to say something, try to tell him how sorry I am for all the pain I caused him and Alice, all of them but he interrupts.

"You really are arrogant - you really thought you were the only one affected by this. Do you know what it's like, knowing that I was not only the cause of your pain but for my own wife's? I took away her best friend." As he pauses, I catch sight of his eyes - which are glassy with venom.

"I know you and Alice have your bond, I know Rose is a pain in your ass much of the time, Carlisle and Esme are the parents you lost, and Emmett 's the older brother you never had...tell me something-"his voice cracks- "What are we?"

He turns away and I scramble for something to say. "Jazz, I-"

I try, but he cuts me off as he heads back to the house. "I do care for Bella, I killed for her - if you hadn't taken that remote, I would have. "

Emmett and Carlisle come and stand beside me. "Damn, he does have charisma." Emmett booms out a chuckle.

"I think it's class, not charisma," Carlisle says, giving me a pointed stare.

Nodding back, I suddenly hear Alice in my mind. "She's waking up.."

Bella's POV

This place is warm, heat hitting my face and traveling down my body. This doesn't feel like the prison of the hospital - I must be stuck behind that velvet layer, the one you push aside subconsciously right before you come alive in the morning and out of the dreams. I always knew in Forks when the morning would come because of the smell of eggs and coffee wafting through my nose. The only smell more comforting is cinnamon and fallen snow but that belongs to someone not real.

"You're not that creative."

I take a breath, filling my lungs - I know the musky metal smell will be there and I stiffen a bit at the idea of seeing the doctor today. Instead what I smell is fresh laundry with the hint of cinnamon and snow.

My eyes fly open. I know this...

Blue walls surround me and a sound system sits in the corner. My eyes dart to the left wall - covered in shelves holding CDs. I whirl to the right, taking in the black covered couch. I've been here before, but this bed is a new development.

My heart makes pitter-patter beats in my chest and I'm afraid to look in front of me, knowing there's something...someone watching. So I bunch the covers up to my chest and sit up on my knees, avoiding the intruder behind me. I turn to the glass wall, staring past my reflection and focusing on the fact that the rain has just let up outside.

"Vampires play baseball?"

The stranger isn't leaving and my skin prickles, feeling the hair stand up on my neck. I can feel it - the sensation's like a shot - making adrenaline pump through them, alive and ready.

"It's the American pastime."

A tear falls down my face as I realize I missed another thunderstorm - instead reliving the lie. Lifting my arm to my mouth, I bite down hard - it's time to wake up.

A frosty hand gently takes my wrist and tugs just enough to get my attention and I gasp, closing my eyes...I'm not ready for this.

"Bella, it's okay. No one's going to hurt you, I swear I won't even touch you after this. I just need you to put your hand down, sweetheart." This is not the rough, threatening voice I've heard so many times from the past - the tone is deeper, much like a cello.

The dull ache forms in my chest, squeezing and choking my heart and lungs. I don't bother wiping the tears away as I open my eyes and look up and take in the sight of Carlisle. I sigh and give him my brightest watery smile. "Please, I don't care anymore - just make the nightmares go away."

Taken aback with my words, he insists, "Bella, it's me, it's Carlisle." I look away to the window and crush down the scream that's building up in my throat. Then I notice...there's black seep coming out of the wall...oozing slowly onto the floor. It forms a small puddle and I glance at the book shelf behind him- cartoons wave at me. One pulls out a knife and stabs the other causing blood to squirt all over the books. My eyes wander back to Carlisle and I pull my wrist away from his grasp. That's when I notice, there's bugs crawling on my skin.

My eyes widen in horror. "There are bugs, there are bugs all over me!" I lean away from him and start to pull my shirt over my head. "Get them off! They're biting me!"

The cello voice is trying to soothe me, and the door bursts open to reveal Alice and Rose barreling through the room.

"Esme, please," Carlisle chokes out in a whisper I barely hear. Cold arms surround me from behind but when I turn around, I yelp and try to scurry away.

This can't be happening.

Esme's eyes glaze a bit and I begin to wish I could reach out and touch her.

Again Carlisle speaks, calling out for Jasper. The shaggy blond appears in the door suddenly and his amber eyes dart from me to everyone else in the room. He takes a soft step forward and I start to stiffen, remembering the fake memory of him leaping at me with wild eyes. The panic abruptly washes away.

"Stay," I request timidly. He nods in understanding and Alice smiles a bit in my peripheral vision. Glancing toward her, she winks. She grabs Rosalie's hand and requests for Carlisle and Esme to follow. As Esme begins to walk out, she stops mid-stride. She starts to say something but then shakes her head, sighing to herself. Instead she simply smiles, "It's good to have you home, Bella. I'll be just outside if you want me."

The door remains open and Carlisle whispers something to Jasper. He then holds out a couple pills for me to take. "These will help make the bugs go away," he insists, his voice cracking again. I hadn't forgotten that they're still buzzing and biting at my skin. I quickly try to swipe some off while swallowing the pills.

"I'm going to leave Jasper here, Bella. Is that all right? We'll leave the door open and if you need anything all you have to do is call for someone." Carlisle gives me a reassuring smile and then leaves.

A soothing violin starts speaking to me, "You'll come around." Jasper walks over to the bookcase and rummages through it. "You like Shakespeare, don't you?" He decides on a book and turns back toward me. "Edward told us you like to read - the classics in particular."

I nod eagerly and settle into the pillows. He picks a page, sitting down in a chair in the corner and beginning to recite. " 'That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty'."

"Hamlet. 'Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty?'"

He smirks a bit, replying, " 'Ah truly, for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd then the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness. This was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.' "

He looks to me, waiting.

" 'Indeed my lord, you made me believe so.' " A tear slips down my cheek.

" 'You should not have believed me -" Jasper abruptly glances wide-eyed at the script and back to me. "Shit," he mumbles, "God, Bella, I'm sorry. That was a poor choice. How about The Taming of the Shrew or As You Like It?"

I scoff, laughing. "That's enough Shakespeare for now, how about one of your favorites?" I brush another bug away.

"I don't think you would want to read anything I have, usually Plato is an acquired taste."

Blushing, I reply, " 'The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.' "

"You never seemed to be into things like The Republic..." His eyebrow raises a tad.

"I'll read anything," I shrug. "Besides, I know someone who likes Philosophy." My fear flares up but Jasper seems to sense it.

"It's okay," he tells me, "I'm not here to tell you life is easy - but, if you ever want to let someone in, I'll listen." He pauses, thinking for a second. "You know, Alice was in a mental institution once."

I think of Confetti again. There is some truth in beauty. As I continue to listen to Jasper reading, I feel a tad better. Maybe the beautiful lie won't be so bad to escape to after all.