I don't own Twilight. The rest is mine. No matter who tries to steal it.
11.
Edward's POV
There was a time when my eyes were a deep green, reflecting like lights off the ocean floor. Now as I glare into a mirror at the end of the hall outside my bedroom, all I see is yellow.
"Hey, do you wear contacts?"
And I had wished so badly that it had been just contacts, that I was still human...that I still had life.
But if I could have Bella forever, everything else could have just been a small insignificant sacrifice. I think of Bella's pleas for me to turn her.
There are those yellow eyes again, staring at me to come to a proper conclusion that I just can't seem to reach. My mother believed that every color has a meaning, just as flowers and stones. She used to tell me as a boy that my green eyes were peaceful - but over the years the meaning of the colors changed. Negative now, instead of positive.
Green is sickness, blue...sadness. Red, anger...and yellow? Yellow is cowardice.
Alice appears next to me suddenly. "You want to tell me what's wrong? You're about to break Esme's favorite mirror - I don't think she'd be too happy."
"I was thinking about something from my human life."
"Edward, I'm really sorry she died. But at least you remember some things. Little things...it's nice to have that sometimes." She looks down.
Even more ashamed now, standing outside my bedroom feeling sorry for myself.
Jasper's annoyed voice resounds through my mind, "We're trying to enjoy Plato and Socrates, if you don't mind."
Alice pats my arm. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's just nice to be able to remember, that's all."
She listens as I repeat my thoughts to her about colors, without laughing at anything. When I'm done, Alice studies me, saying, "It depends on the person, I think. I love colors - it goes with having a good sense of style." She giggles, a spark of life in her eye. If anyone is as happy about Bella being back, it's her.
She turns to walk down the stairs and thinks about a green dress she bought for Bella and how pretty it will look on her. I stop her with a timid call and she glances back at me with a question in her eyes. "What does yellow really mean?"
"Happiness." I think of Bella, the next thought on the tip of my tongue but of course, she beats me to it. "Wholeness, and being complete."
Bella's POV
Jasper and I have been reading for the past couple of hours and I have no idea where everyone is or if the hospital even cares where I'm at.
"Are you bored, Bella?"
I shake my head quickly, "No, it's just...I guess I've got a lot on my mind."
We stare at each other for a long moment and then he breaks the silence when he glances down at the silver pocket watch he pulled from his jean pocket. "I should be getting down to Alice. We're supposed to be hunting. If you'll accept my pardon." He places the hardback down on the chair as he gets up and tips his head to me.
The question pops out of my mouth before I have time to really think. "Where are you from, Jasper? How did you and Alice get here?"
There's a small glint in his eye as he tells me, "Texas, and as for the other question, we'll get you some food. That one should be saved for another time."
This makes me a tad sad.
"We have lots of time to catch up, Bella," he hesitates, "So alike you two are. Did anyone ever tell you your mood swings are like whiplash?" Winking, he strides out.
The panic begins to rise, rattling down in my ribs and bouncing off the walls. My knees start to wobble and my eyes fill with tears - black seep is coming out of the corners of the floor and there's blood spilling from cuts on my legs. I've never noticed them before.
I reach out and start to smear the blood around but something cold takes my hand a stills it. A peace fills the room. Looking up, I find myself drowning in a deep yellow - the tuft of bronze falling in front of those eyes and a face filled with worry.
"Edward," I murmur and he squeezes my hand.
I jerk away, whispering. "You were right. You're all just a dream...a lie, something I don't belong to."
He kneels next to the bed and tries to grab my hand again but I back away more. "I was wrong, Bella. I was so wrong...about so many things."
"I wish so badly you were real."
"I'm real, Bella. I swear to you I am."
"You swore you would never leave me."
"Bella, please...it's the schizophrenia that's making you think this way. I'll prove it."
He suddenly pulls me up into his arms and starts to head for the door.
"What are you doing?" I shriek. "Put me down!"
He trembles a little, obeying automatically. He buzzes around the room so fast that I can't see him until he's standing right in front of me, holding out a change of clothes. "I'll be just outside, get dressed."
"What for?"
"We're going out shopping. The rest will come too, you...won't have to worry about being alone with me."
"I'm sorry, I just hate being touched - whether you're real or not."
Something in his eyes shatters. "I should have been there, everyday, I should have been there with you."
"You're not real...that's silly."
He shakes his head. "I'll be waiting outside." The door clicks shut behind him.
