I don't own Twilight. I hope anyone who tries to steal anything else, dies in a fire. That means you, random person who stole it.
15.
Edward's POV
It's August 20th. Bella has been with us for a little over a month now. And when I watch her from across the room at my piano I play Debussy subconsciously, receiving silent smiles from every person in my family, every person but her.
My teeth bite down and slice through the skin on my lip and even though it's been decades since any blood has been drawn, I still expect the life force to leak out and dribble down my chin. I still expect to wipe the red away with my fingertips. I still want Bella to be the one to clean the wound.
But there is no blood - there is only a clear liquid that has no distinct taste and yet sets my tongue on fire with its deathly sting.
Every day, Esme brings her hot chocolate. So far she's spit it up and chucked the mug across the room, watching shamelessly as it soars into the wall and cracks. As I hear the grandfather clock chime in low, alto tones here downstairs, I can also hear her screaming about how we've poisoned it with drugs and even venom.
I'm not sure what's supposed to be killing me more. That she no longer wants forever with me, or the fact that she's starting to slip so far into her mind's hidden chamber that I'm getting a real taste of despair.
Jasper, bless him, spends hours calming her out of the corner with Plato and Aristotle. They started reading Voltaire's Candide also. Esme dropped the breakfast plate she had been washing and sunk into the couch sobbing when she heard Bella quoting him. "If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others?"
Every day, Carlisle tells me to be fearless for her.
Every day, Emmett keeps us all laughing and going for her.
Rose reads up on the disease, trying hard to understand because she tells herself that's what Renee would have done. Alice gives money to charities in search for a cure she can see won't come any time sooner. At night the women take turns holding her in her sleep and I stare in the window - the very window that I flew out of with her the first time she came to the house.
And when her tinted cheeks show a fallen eyelash, I plead with one of the girls to let me blow it away in a wish - I wish for a bundle of things. That the illness never would have come, that no one would have touched her. Mostly though, I wish for us.
The haze of it all floats away in dust as I am started by a loud yelp. I don't hesitate, rushing up the stairs and practically knocking down the while wooden door that is keeping her a world away from me. Shaking with her knees pulled up to her chest tightly, Bella stares at me with watery eyes in the corner. "Help me," she squeaks quietly.
I slowly kneel down and start to crawl across the floor nearer to her form.
Is this what love is?
A hand halts my movements and when I look up, instead of Carlisle, I'm shocked to see Rosalie instead.
"Everyone needs to leave," she orders.
A few curious glances head her way until Jasper nods and winks at me. I stand and search for some kind of thought process in Rose's mind but she blocks me and smirks in mystery. Sighing in defeat, I walk out the door and gently close it behind me.
"So," Emmett claps a hand on my back, "-what now?"
Bella's POV
The foam bubbles up and I swirl a little bit of soap in between my fingers, gazing over at her slender body as she leans against the edge of the bathtub. Taking a cup, Rose fills it to the brim and murmurs, "Lean your head back."
Obeying, I close my eyes as the warm water cascades the remaining suds out of my darkened hair. Rose chuckles a bit and I peek at her. It's possibly the first time she has ever genuinely smiled at me. "You know, the first time I thought I would ever help someone take a bath like this, the scenario was much different." My eyebrow raises and she falls quiet before saying, "I wanted a child."
As I nod I can feel my eyes softening along with her heart.
"Bella, I was brought up in a much different time than you. At 18, I was engaged to be married."
I sit patiently, content at just watching her blonde waves dangle over the reflecting water's surface as she tells me about her past and what brought her to the other side. A gang-rape organized by her fiancée'.
People hide away to guard the scars on their own souls.
Maybe, just maybe I let my anger get in the way of really knowing the Cullens. And as the tears mold and curve their way down my face, the mask finally comes off on both of us. Rose had merely wanted to save me from her own pain.
"Bella, I know this is too late and, well, I haven't been the most welcoming person but-"
I run into a brick wall, crushing myself against her and clinging for life in the most emotional gesture I can give anyone at this point. I hug her with all the strength I can gather, splashing water over the edge and on to the floor and her jeans.
As I pull back to apologize, Rose holds me in place - hugging back with as much force as she can. "I don't mind, I'm not Alice, you know."
I giggle a bit.
Her shirt is wet in salt and water. It's like sacrificing a part of you to another person but as she kisses my cheek and whispers, "I never got to cry my own tears over what happened," I know the sacrifice is worth the draining ache.
"Then let me cry for both of us," I whisper back.
Edward's POV
We've just returned from hunting and walk into see Rose and Bella lying on the couch, Bella's head in Rosalie's lap as they watch, Sleeping Beauty.
Bella's fast asleep when we all walk nearer to look and Rose gathers her up in her arms, beginning the haul up the stairs. I hear the door creak open and the covers moved around before she descends back down to tell Emmett goodnight.
And I can't help myself as I rush forward and lift her into a long hug. Her thoughts betray the last part of their conversation and I squeeze harder as everyone else just gazes on. "Rose, Emmett was right, for a heartless shrew...you're kind of beautiful."
Now I understand, this is what love is.
