I may not own Twilight or any of the quotes I used (but gave credit to) but the rest is mine. No matter what some stupid bitch does.

19.

Alice's POV

I watch the tire swing drag her around in the afternoon sun, the warmth of the day pouring down on her like a glass of golden lemonade. Nearby Esme has a wind-chime hanging, the sounds tingling small bells. It reminds me of those forgotten afternoons chasing after my baby sister in the fields of Mississippi.

The more circles she spins the more she laughs. A chuckle of my own bubbles up and Bella looks in the window, into my very soul. The tire swing halts and she closes her eyes, shaking her head from the dizziness. When they open again, they stare me down into a puddle of shame. Gradually, she lifts herself out of the swing but ends up on the ground. I notice the fall of course, but this time, it's the way she picks herself up right away and brushes away the dirt that grabs at my insides.

"What do we do when we fall, sweetheart?" My father's gray eyes dance as he helps me up from the ground. "We pick ourselves up again," I huff, dusting away the rocks that have gathered, staining my pretty white dress.

He laughs, "It'll come out, Mary Alice. Now go help your mother."

Looking up, I notice the form next to me and turn to her, taking in everything - her brown hair and eyes, to the tiny lone freckle on her left cheek; a north star on her peach skin.

"Hi," Bella breaths in a rush, afraid to meet my eyes.

"Please look at me," I plead. When she looks up, a tear leaks down her face.

"Did any of it make a difference?"

The wind-chime seems to grow louder in the background, a warning toll telling me to tread softly but speak the truth. "No." My voice cracks upon the word.

"Then why? Why, of all people did you go along with his decision, Alice?"

The silence mocks me as my mind fishes out nothing but blank, wide space. Bella waits, her face filled with the hope that a tiny ounce of some answer will satisfy. Too bad it's so hollow. "I don't know," I hear the sentence bounce off every hall, every nook of the three-story house.

"And instead of facing the consequences, instead of accepting the idea that I might be just a bit angry with you, with everyone, you just...what? You think that I'll be thrilled to see you guys when you ride in on your noble steeds?"

I remain shamed as she continues.

"Alice, you knew. You knew from the very beginning of this mess that it wouldn't do any good. You knew that Edward was making a decision for both of us that wasn't just his to make." She scoffs. "You knew, and you did nothing."

She flops down on the chair next to the window and glares up at me. I force myself to keep looking at her, to keep receiving her spite because it's everything I deserve. But there's hope, isn't there? I knew this would come.

I always hear of parents rolling their eyes at young people surrounding them. Young people like to pretend they know everything in the world - that no one has anything to teach them. The cruel irony to this is that I have been here longer than any of those parents and right now I'm the child being scolded because she thought she knew it all.

"Did you see what they were doing to me, to those patients in that place? Did you ever wonder and look into my future and see the -" Her voice breaks off, the words losing themselves in the tension of the room. Putting one foot in front of the other I make my way over to her, kneeling down as I take her hands in mine. "He told me to block you, he told me to not ever look for you because it wasn't our business. That without us you could live a normal life with friends and Charlie. You could see Renee and enjoy the sun."

"And you thought I loved the sun more than you and your brother?"

"I wanted you to have the little things, just as he did. I wanted to be able to do the right thing and let you go because even if I can do these things and have those visions, what if I really am a monster like he said we were? What if it all ended and you became one of us, what if you became like me? What if you didn't remember anything, Bella? Charlie adores you - I can't even recall my own father's name!"

"Charlie hates me! He hates what I became! Haven't you guys noticed that he never comes around, he never calls, hell - he dumped me on you guys so he didn't have to deal with the fact that he has a schizophrenic for a daughter."

"At least he's alive! At least you have others who care about you too!"

"Who? Who the hell do I have? You guys because you came back? Charlie when he doesn't show up? Jessica Stanley? Mike Newton? All the 'friends' I had besides you guys don't even speak to me anymore. Mike thinks I have too much baggage - which is probably true and Jessica and Lauren spend all their time spreading rumors about how messed up I got!"

"You're alive!"

"NO I'M NOT! I haven't been alive since Edward told me he didn't want me!" Her roar fills the house with a poison that makes it hard to breathe, even if you don't need air. "Alice, what is living? Your family has this logic that I can't stand. You have yourselves convinced that living involves blood pumping from your heart through your veins, that I need air more than love and friendship and happiness. Rose? Maybe she's the type that wanted kids more than anything else but I don't need kids. I don't need air or water -"

"Then what do you need?" The deep voice resounds from behind me. I close my eyes and sigh. We've been shouting so much at each other I didn't even bother to pay attention to who would be listening.

Edward's POV

I desperately want to give her an excuse, one that would be worthy of her forgiveness and wash the slate that tallies the sins of my family and me against her. But what can I say when everything falls short? I had just as well lured her into my castle and locked her inside a fool's paradise, a whimsical coffin.

Stepping into the room, I walk closer and Alice silently warns me to keep my distance.

Bella looks at her hands, crossed neatly in her lap.

"Because I can tell you what I want, what I need...and what I want more than anything...what I need more than anything is you," I tell her steadily, daring her to look up at me and say otherwise.

She sobs and I try stepping closer but Alice snarls. Rolling my eyes, I gently pick Alice up and set her on her feet before kneeling in the place she was. "Prove it," Bella snaps before standing up and strolling in a whirlwind out the door.

"Don't follow us," Alice orders before marching after Bella.

Of course I don't listen.

Alice's POV

What if you could go back? What if you could bend space and time with words or feelings, or thoughts or dreams? Because I find myself in that forgotten wood again and the leaves are not a orange hue anymore but a brilliant emerald green.

This time it's not Cynthia I chase through the fields of Mississippi. It's not my father helping me back up after a fall. It's not my mother I'm learning from. It's Bella, it's her I'm chasing through the rainforest of Washington -it's she who picks me up after I fall so far. It's she who teaches me that the future doesn't make me invincible.

We stand facing each other in the woods just beyond Esme's greenhouse. I can hear Edward moving around in the distance, ignoring my earlier warning to stay away. Somehow, I can't bring myself to care. "There really aren't any excuses, Bella. I could tell you a thousand times how sorry I am, because I failed. But that would never be enough."

Her tears fall, glistening as much as my skin in the sunlight.

"You're everything I ever wanted in a friend and I betrayed you. I did it because my brother talked me into it." We let our pride get in the way and dragged you to a hell we didn't think could exist. "And I should have pushed his stupid ideas away but I didn't." She continues to hold her arms around herself, covering the gaping hole that I have finally gazed upon. It's my scarlet letter to bear yet she carries it. I step closer and a ray of the sun darts down through the branches of a tree, making my skin shine more.

She laughs bitterly. "Your skin looks like diamonds, that's what I told him the first time he showed me."

I blink back venom. She had fed us real humanity. "I know," I say softly but my voice is anything but velvet.

I'm so, so sorry. Stepping closer, I try not to scare her - the rabbit in the cage.

"What happened to Thompson and John?"

"Jasper, Emmett, and Rose took care of John."

"Confetti thought some wild animal did it - along with the police, I knew better."

"Of course you knew better...always."

"Thompson?" She asks sharply.

"Edward, Jasper and I blew up his car with him in it."

"You?" She searches my eyes for something.

"I planted the bomb," I swallow, boldly taking another step.

"Did you..." Bella tilts her head.

"No, I wanted to - I wanted to so badly but..."

"You couldn't."

"No, I couldn't." I hear the disappointment in my own voice. Bella launches herself into my arms, tears spilling like stones. They hit my skin and flash light that's different - they look like pearls.

"That makes you happy?"

"Yes." She pulls back, staring fully at me with a radiant smile stamped on her face. "But then who..."

"Edward." The name falls like a dagger from my tongue but instead of stabbing her, a tinge of peachy rose blooms in her cheeks.

"He killed for me?"

"He would take on the Volturi for you, silly girl." I answer. He would take on the world for you and show you it in a graveyard afterward.

I take her hand in mine and squeeze it softly. "I'm sorry...for everything."

Her mouth lifts a tiny bit. "I know."

"I was a coward; you were right about me."

"Alice, I'm sorry about what I said. Emmett told me about you remembering your past. I probably sounded like I was taunting you. In a way, I was."

"Don't apologize, it was true."

"But it was cruel."

I shrug and the next thing I know, she's kissing my cheek. "I missed you so much, Alice." Walking back to the house, I contently let her lean into me. "Hey..."

"Yeah?"

"Um, I was wondering if you would brush my hair, it's just...I just can't make it look as good as you do."

Hugging her fiercely, I tell her, "I would love to."