I don't own Twilight, I don't own any quotes I gave credit to, but the rest is mine.
20.
Edward's POV
In Chicago, Illinois, in the year 1918, I laid in a rickety hospital bed waiting to die. One of my favorite pastimes had always been watching people walk by me without a second glance, wondering if the nurse who passed by my bed every night knew my name or if she just knew me as another statistic. Another victim to the slaughter.
In 1918, the United States had been rampant with a raging tiger known as the Spanish Influenza. It didn't steal simple objects like jewelry or money. It didn't steal hearts or affections of lovers. It didn't even steal running thoughts or dreams.
It stole people. It robbed me of my parents, it robbed me of friends, it even robbed me of myself.
And then, one day in March of 2005, in a rainy little town called Forks, I found myself all over again. Edward Anthony Masen was staring right back at me in a pair of chocolate brown eyes.
It's always ourselves we find in the sea. - EE Cummings.
So I ran away - I am always running; to catch a baseball, to pounce on a deer, and away from myself.
Until now.
If fate exists, falling around us and crossing our stars through paths and fairy tales, it must web them so tightly together that they are wired, down to the very last string inside the musical piano. It coils your string into another's, and your hearts dangle on the sides.
The result of this would make the sweetest tune in the world, in the galaxy, in the universe. But if that string snapped, if it broke, the resulting action according to Newton's Law would be devastating. I know this because I had tested the wills of both strings separately, trying to severe them down a middle line, foolishly hoping that one would have the strength to stand on its own and not caring at all about what would happen. As long as that first cord held...bound to a destiny for which it wasn't meant.
It had been like trying to work that same piano string on a guitar and hope the harmony would still be just as lovely as before. You can't force what the muses set in motion out of the way - if you do everything collides, sweeping down a track like dominos.
So I pray silently - something I don't think I've done since I was human.
Mother, forgive me, and help me earn my way back to her.
There's a sudden knock on the garage door and I look up to see Rose standing in the doorway with a small smirk on her face. "I still can't believe you didn't just get her something useful - a Ferrari, a Vet...even a T-Bird would have been better over this piece of crap.
I merely return a wry smile.
"I'm joking," she hops gently down the steps, reaching over and slapping me on the shoulder.
"Ow!"
"You were always such a baby. That tire is a little flat by the way," Rose returns, nodding toward the front left one. She sniffs. "This thing stinks - god, what is that!"
"It was a present Bella received from one of the tribe elders and his son," I finish fiddling around under the hood and close it.
"Ah. That explains it."
"Was there something you wanted, Rose?" It comes out a little harsh.
"I...I wanted to, well, I guess it's just," her eyes are cast down but she suddenly looks up at me. "She's good for all of us, Edward."
"Yeah, she is."
Suddenly Emmett calls out for her and she turns to walk up the stairs.
"Thanks," I say quietly, but just loud enough that she'll hear.
"Make sure you wash that thing," she snickers.
Carlisle and I have just pulled up to the Forks Police Station. He starts to open the door but I put a hand on his shoulder and he turns to me with several questions in his eyes - ones I don't need to pick out of his head.
"What if she thinks I'm just doing this to get back with her?"
He sighs. "She can think whatever she wants, I suppose. Bella needs her father, Edward, just as he needs her."
Looking through the front window I debate it - rolling around the possibilities in my head. "Yeah, you're right."
As we both step out into the air, I stuff my fists into my jacket pockets. Carlisle pauses on the steps looking back at me. "Remember Edward,' courage is not the absence of fear.'"
The door opens and we walk down the hallway to see Charlie opening the door to his office. His thoughts are almost as subdued as his daughters, though I hear him panic a bit at why we're here. "Dr Cullen," he nods to Carlisle and then his eyes dart over to mine, "Son."
"Chief Swan," Carlisle smiles back. "May we have a minute of your time?"
He hesitates but then nods again, letting us into his office and pointing to some chairs. We sit down and I can see the computer is searching for any kind of files on wild wolves that could have caused the massive damage at the mental hospital.
Charlie switches the screen off and the room falls silent. I can hear every beat of his heart, drumming systematically louder than it was a minute ago. "So what can I do for you, Dr. Cullen?"
"We're here to talk to you about Bella."
"She have another episode or something? I don't understand - can't you get her to take her medication?"
My hands are gripping the sides of my own chair so tightly that I can begin to hear it crack and snap under my own strength. How can he avoid this so easily? How can he just...dismiss her as though she's nothing?
But then I remember, I did the exact same thing.
"Edward, the chair didn't do anything, it doesn't need to be punished," Carlisle scolds me silently and then turns his attention back to Charlie. "Not at all, it's not anything like that."
Charlie stands, strolling over to the window and peeking out at the cars driving by. "Then why are you here?" He murmurs, his voice dangerously low.
Not the least bit phased, Carlisle replies, "Because she's your daughter and she needs her father."
Swiveling around, Charlie glares at the two of us. "She needs a doctor, a psychiatrist, someone who knows what the hell they're doing-"
"Yes, Bella does need that. But as a person and as your daughter who has one living parent in the world, it's not too much to ask that you stop by every once in a while, that you show her some care. Charlie, Bella was abused in that place, you're going to have to face that."
"I am facing that! I'm facing that every damn day - hell, it's my duty to fight these things every waking hour. And I have taken care of sick people before - my parents got really sick before they passed - that's why Renee took her and left to begin with. She knew I wasn't fit to be a father...I couldn't give them what they needed." He paces the floor. "Every sign, every damn sign was there and I didn't see it. And I'm her father, damn it."
Standing up, I send him my own glare. "Bullshit."
He's taken aback and Carlisle grabs my arm. "Excuse me?"
"You aren't a bad father by not being able to give Bella what she may want. But you should give her what she needs -"
"Oh? And you're any better? You left her, in the middle of the -"
"I did, okay? I left her, I broke her. But it broke me too. I was like you Charlie, I thought by letting the person I loved go I would be doing the world a huge favor. But I came back. And she may never forgive me but I'm not about to let her father make the same mistake. Take it from someone who knows."
We stare, neither of us willing to give in. Luckily, I have time on my side.
Finally, Charlie caves. "How the hell do I face her, boy? How the hell do I tell her that I overlooked everything because I was too big of a coward?"
"I suppose you have to put one foot in front of the other. First, you have to make the effort to show her you care." And then I turn, marching out of the office.
