Author's Notes: Yep, I got addicted to Spy x Family. I'll be updating this story sparsely, as it's mainly my muse picking away at my head right now that's prompting me to write this. I'll be writing a 5% smarter Naruto for this one, and it'll be set post-war. And obviously, single-pairing for this fic.
Extra Notes: Please ignore the logic of Konoha and the other villages being in the same world as Ostania or Westalia. Also, spoilers for non-manga readers (If I manage to update on time, that is).
"Talking"
'Thinking'
"'Jutsu or Techniques'"
-Autumn-
Naruto slowly walked into the cemetery, yellowish-brown leaves crackling under each step he took, while many more floated down from the trees above him. As beautiful as Konoha had been during Autumn, this place has mostly only brought sorrow to Naruto, no matter how much the blond wanted to love it. His home. The cemetery had not held as many memories as The Hokage Monument or The Ramen Bar, but Hinata's presence would forever remain in his mind.
Eventually reaching her tomb, Naruto fell to his knees before the grave, wiping the dust from her name. Her name, Hinata Hyuga. The name of the one who had loved him, the one who loved him unconditionally, and the one who did so to her last breath.
"Sorry for visiting so early today..." Naruto apologized sincerely, scratching his head awkwardly as he now moved to a seated position before Hinata's tomb, "I had to disturb Jiraiya-sensei... I'll be blunt. I miss you two... I miss the watchful yet comforting eye ero-sannin used to place me under... I miss the love you used to provide me with... Even if I hadn't noticed until it was too late..."
Naruto kicked back a bit, a tear springing out from his right eye before being immediately swiped aside by the blond's finger.
"Sakura and Sasuke got married today..." Naruto explained, replenishing the water in the offering cup that had been placed at the tomb. "It was beautiful enough... I just wish you could've seen it..."
Now leaning against the trunk of a tree facing Hinata's tomb, Naruto placed a hand on his face, as many thoughts began to run through his mind. This hadn't been as hard when it was Jiraiya's tomb he was facing, so why had it been so hard now?
"Perhaps... I'm not yet ready to move on..." Naruto began to murmur as he set a bouquet of white lilies at her tomb. "I... I'm gonna be going on a mission starting today, a long one at that... Hence why everything's been so hectic. I... Well... I don't know when I'll be back again, but I promise you... I will be back one day. Thank you for everything, Hinata Hyuga. Thank you for protecting me five years ago. Thank you for being my friend when no one else would. Thank you for being kind to my heart... Thank you... Thank you for loving me..."
Naruto stood up, bowing one last time, before walking away.
-Hokage's Office-
Naruto slowly walked into the Hokage's office. What had once seemed like hallowed halls now appeared to Naruto as nothing more than crooked distortions to Naruto, who now knew the true extent of Konoha's backdoor dealings, especially involving the very council members in the room. The people within these confined spaces have known him by many names, most of their creation. Brat, Demon, Kyuubi, and Fox were a few they called him as, but for now, only one mattered...
"Whirlpool," Kakashi began to say, lifting his head from the Hokage's desk as the council members began to file out of the room, "Thank you for showing up on time... This mission is of utmost importance."
"I see..." Naruto began to say, shutting the door before turning back, "How have you been, Kakashi-sensei?"
"I'm doing good, how about you, Naruto? I haven't seen you since the last mission," Kakashi asked back, offering an eye smile as he rested his chin on his hand.
"Eh, I've seen better days... Especially when it isn't autumn but it's fine," Naruto replied, sitting opposite Kakashi as he kicked his feet up on another chair, "So... What's the mission this time? I've heard it's gonna be a long one... I assume it's somewhere on that western continent again?"
"Quite right," Kakashi replied, "Europe. Our new ally, Westalis, has requested for us to participate in a joint intelligence operation, and as our premier spy... Well, who else to go but you, hmm?"
"Oh, save me the flattery, Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto replied, chuckling a bit as he did, "We both know that, even if I became a spy to honor ero-sannin's legacy, I can never truly be as good as he was in this regard... Hell, the man probably hoped for me to be married by now."
"Come now, Naruto, don't be so hard on yourself..." Kakashi advised, standing up and slapping the blond on the shoulder, "Come on... I'll treat you to some ramen."
"Well, if the Hokage's treating me, who am I to resist?" Naruto asked back jokingly, as he stood up and left with Kakashi.
-Ichiraku Ramen Restaurant-
This place had also changed significantly compared to how it had been in Naruto's childhood. While it started as a simple stand, it had since evolved into a building that was anything but simple, littered with things like conveyor belts, and multi-colored buttons that he hated operating.
"Now now," Kakashi began to say, patting Naruto on the shoulder as his ramen arrived in front of him, "No need to glare so hard at these buttons, no matter how complicated they look."
"Hmm? Oh, my apologies," Naruto replied with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head as he began to chomp away at the ramen.
'Seems like old habits die hard...' Kakashi thought with a smile hidden beneath his mask.
"Hmm? Aren't you eating too, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, his mouth full of ramen.
"Me? Oh, no, I was full coming here," Kakashi began to say, "Just wanted to treat you one last time before you go for a while..."
"That's thoughtful of you..." Naruto replied, as Teuchi slowly walked over, before passing a note to the blond. Curious, Naruto opened the note and glanced over it, before spitting the broth that had been in his mouth into his bowl. "This... Is this-?!"
"That's right, Naruto," Teuchi began to say with a smile, "That's my very own secret recipe! Be sure to keep it safe!"
"But... But why would you even consider giving something this precious to me?" Naruto asked in confusion.
"Well... That's the most fitting way to send off my number one customer, no?" Teuchi asked, patting Naruto on the back, "Keep up the good work, kid, I'm glad you're my customer, let's have a cook-off when you get back."
Naruto nodded before storing the note in his pocket, holding back tears as Kakashi stood up to pay the bill. The question will forever remain in his head. 'Why was it that the day before leaving, Konoha seemed a tad bit brighter?'
-The Next Day-
Having already been to Westalis on several missions before his current one, Naruto swiftly teleported into the extraction point, from which he was supposed to be smuggled into Ostania. There, only a single, black car awaited the blond. Taking a deep sigh, Naruto opened the door, entering it before the vehicle sped off.
"So... How's the wife and kids?" Naruto asked, deciding to break the silence after a bit of time. 'I need to use this strange language when speaking to these people... Strange indeed...' Naruto thought as the driver ripped a mask off of his face.
"At ease, Whirpool," The driver replied, "This car blocks all ciphers, we're safe to speak here."
"I see... How was your mission, Twilight?" Naruto asked, looking at the envelope lying on the backseat. "I assume it went well?"
"I just prevented the Foreign Minister from facing a threatening scandal, so I'll say it went alright," Twilight replied, before tossing Naruto a note, "Here's the notice for your section of Operation Strix."
Naruto nodded, catching the note midair before deciphering the information on it.
'Let's see here...' Naruto thought, skimming through the note, 'We salute the Hokage's gracious acceptance of our request, glory to Konoha, glory to Westalia. Your target is the leader of the National Unity Party of Ostania, Donovan Desmond.' Naruto mentally read, taking a look at the picture of the man mentioned. 'Shady guy to be sure... Your mission is to get close to him and probe into any potential threatening activity.'
"I must warn you..." Twilight began to say, predicting where Naruto would've read up to, "The next part is as ridiculous as it sounds."
'To directly access him, you are to marry and have a child,' Naruto read, nearly choking on the gum in his mouth in shock as he smacked his palm against his face.
"Look, it sounds ridiculous... But Desmond has been observed to be rather reclusive in these couple of years..." Twilight explained, "He has only been seen appearing publically at the events held at Eden Academy, the school his younger son is attending."
Naruto continued to read, before burning the note with a lighter and smirking, "So let me get this straight... You want me, in seven days, to get a child from somewhere, and to have that child be accepted at an elitist school?"
"Precisely," Twilight replied, taking a sharp turn as he approached a train station within Ostania, "I trust you have everything you need? Ciphering device? Budget? Your gun?"
"Yup," Naruto replied, having sealed the items prior into scrolls, "Not guns though, they are rather frowned upon in my culture."
That last part was not the full truth, as a majority of Konoha has never heard of gunpowder, to begin with, but that was fine. Twilight didn't need to know everything Naruto did, while Naruto certainly didn't know everything Twilight did.
"In that regard, I bid you good luck, and farewell," Twilight replied, before pulling over in a hidden alleyway, "Never forget what you're fighting for, and remember, no matter who it is that you are 'enlisting' into this mission..." Twilight began to say as Naruto reached for the door, "Do not get attached. That is a mistake that is sure to result in your death."
-Berlint, Capital of Ostania-
"So, here we are," The landlord began to say as he led Naruto into a furnished apartment that looked rather comfortable, "This is our best remaining furnished single-family apartment. It comes with air conditioning and central heating..."
The following sentences fell on deaf ears for the blond as he looked around the apartment.
'Well... A real child of mine or otherwise... This apartment should be reasonably comfortable for any children to grow up in...' Naruto pondered, looking at the several rooms as well, 'In any case... It's much better than what I had growing up...'
"Uh... Sir...?" The landlord asked, taking a step closer.
'Windows seem sturdy enough...' Naruto thought, looking at the interiors of the rooms, 'And there seems to be enough space for summonings as well... Not too shabby... That'll do just fine.'
"Excuse me...?" The landlord asked again.
"I'll take it," Naruto replied, referring to the apartment.
"Oh, alright then," The landlord began to say, passing a form to Naruto, "Then, I'll need you to sign this, Mr. Nami... Namikaze?"
'Naruto Namikaze... Illusionist, that's my new life for the duration of this mission,' Naruto thought, signing the document before passing it back to the landlord. 'I've never been too good with children...'
"Do you have a son or a daughter? I have two sons myself!" The landlord remarked proudly.
"That part's still up for consideration," Naruto replied, placing his luggage inside before walking inside himself and shutting the door after the landlord stepped out.
-Later that day-
Naruto sat on the bed of one of the rooms, the one he had determined would be his bedroom as he unraveled an empty scroll, before withdrawing a brush with some ink on its tip and beginning to write on the scroll.
'Kakashi-sensei... I have safely arrived in Berlint, the capital of Ostania...' Naruto mentally readout as he began to write the exact words on the scroll, 'I trust that you have full information regarding Operation Strix... In the case that you don't, a copy of the document will be attached to this scroll. It has been progressing smoothly so far, but there is one problem hampering progress... That of how to acquire a suitable child.'
Naruto signed off the document, before slamming his palm onto the bed, forming a large cloud of smoke that was quickly replaced by a small toad.
'I sure do miss Kosuke...' Naruto thought, thinking back to the messenger toad that Danzo had murdered as the toad took the message and vanished. 'He was never meant to die like that... He was a victim... Of a larger war...' Naruto thought, thinking about all those who had given their lives in the fight against the Akatsuki and eventually during the Fourth Shinobi War. "Don't worry... For the sake of all of them, Hinata, Kosuke, Ero-sannin... I'll make sure, that, by working in the shadows... I'll create a world where no one has to give their lives up again, necessarily or not."
Whilst Naruto was deep in his thoughts, Kakashi's reply was passed back to him by the same toad, taking the shape of a packaged item rather than an actual scroll.
"What the hell is this...?" Naruto murmured to himself before opening the package, only to facepalm upon being met with several of Kakashi's 'literary materials', which were written by Jiraiya many years ago.
Naruto stared at the books for a moment, before tossing them onto a shelf and composing a second letter.
'I appreciate the books... But that was not what I meant...' Naruto began to write, 'I do know how a baby is 'made'... But I do not have the time to do so, and I do require a child of at least six years of age.'
Before long, Kakashi's return message was delivered by the toad before it disappeared.
'Hmm... An orphanage, huh...?' Naruto thought, not particularly enthused by the idea, 'Well... This sure brings back terrible memories...' Naruto pondered, before putting on a coat and leaving the room, before leaving the apartment entirely.
-Orphanage-
Naruto entered the orphanage, a truly detestable place that reeked of alcohol, a fact proven further by the drunk patron of the orphanage that had greeted him.
"Yeah...?" The drunken man asked, glaring slightly at Naruto, "You wanna foster a child?"
"Indeed... My wife and I have been trying for many years, but clearly to no avail-" Naruto began to say, having formulated an entire story for the situation only to be rudely interrupted halfway through.
"Yeah, whatever... Just pick whoever you'd like here..." The man replied, stumbling into the house.
'The very essence of my being has the urge to bash this man's head into the damned wall...' Naruto thought with a frown, 'Although, I'd say these walls are worth a hell of a lot more than that his existence. I highly doubt they'd be interested in acquainting more with this man than they already have to... Kami knows I wouldn't.'
It was very clear to Naruto. The orphanage had been far worse than the shambles that he had resided in during his early childhood. Naruto walked across the creaking floors of the corridor, looking at many children who seemed to be confused by his appearance, many of whom likely treated him like an outsider.
'While I can use a henge and pretend to be a child... But I can't discount the possibility of the henge fading, however minuscule it may be...' Naruto thought, 'And better yet... Despite the apparent state of the orphanage that I find myself in right now... Children here are unlikely to have any prior records, so it will be much easier to fabricate an entire family's history.'
A thought came to Naruto's mind as he pondered these ideas.
"Oh, I'd also prefer a child that could read or write..." The blond began to say.
"Is that so...?" The patron began to say, a borderline creepy smile forming on his face, "Anya! Get over here!"
Not long after the matron had beckoned his statement across the orphanage, a short, pink-haired girl walked toward Naruto, the brightly colored chimera toy that she held in her hands perfectly contrasting the simple black dress she had worn.
"She... She doesn't say too much..." The patron began to say, "But she's the smartest kid here..."
Anya stared at Naruto for a minute, her green pupils appearing as surprising to Naruto.
'This girl looks too short to be convincingly five... Let alone six...' Naruto thought, squatting down to take a closer look at the girl.
'This guy is strange... When I read his mind... It's like I read two at once, I can hear two voices at once...' Anya thought, before tiptoeing, "I'm six!"
"Huh? You're six already...?" The patron asked in drunken confusion.
Anya nodded, before running off and returning with the newspaper, pointing at the crossword puzzle.
"Hmmm... That would be difficult for you, wouldn't it?" Naruto asked before Anya ran to the table, sitting down before beginning to solve it, 'I'd be lying if I said I did not respect her confidence and enthusiasm... Now let's see here... One down is 'Photosynthesis'... Three across is 'Openness'... Five across is 'Anthropomorphism'...' Naruto analyzed.
To the blond's shock not five minutes later, Anya lifted the newspaper to reveal a completed crossword puzzle, with each question being answered perfectly in both spelling and answer.
'Incredible!' Naruto thought to himself, placing his hand on his chin, 'This girl may be smarter than me when I was sixteen! And she's only six!'
Anya gave a confused look, before shifting to a smile quickly after to not raise any suspicion.
"I'll take this girl!" Naruto declared, standing back up and starting towards the patron, "Now... About the paperwork for adoption-"
"Yeah yeah, just take her and piss off..." The patron replied, rudely waving Naruto off.
Naruto nodded, 'That went swimmingly... Who'd known being a spy on such a mission would be easy...? Now I'm wondering if I'm being set up...' squatting down before Anya. "Are you alright with this...?"
'Woah... Spy?! Mission?! That's so cool!' Anya thought, before nodding in response to Naruto's question.
"Alright, there is one more thing I'll need to take care of..." Naruto murmured, before putting a glove on his right hand and walking toward the patron. "You know... I'm not the best with children."
"Yeah? Are you still on about that damn paperwork?" The patron asked, drunkenly turning toward Naruto.
"No... Just trying to tell you that you make me look amazing in comparison," Naruto stated, before clenching his gloved right fist and launching it forwards, crashing it against the patron's cheek and knocking him cleanout. 'I have been waiting to do that ever since I laid eyes upon this shithole...' Naruto thought, pulling his glove off before walking out with Anya, 'With any luck... He should be drunk enough to forget by tomorrow morning, even if he's not, my fingerprints aren't there, so there would be no evidence regardless.'
Naruto removed his glove before tossing it into the bin on the way out, before walking out of the orphanage with Anya next to him.
"Alright, listen up, kid," Naruto began to say.
"My name's Anya!" Anya responded in defiance.
"Very well, listen up, Anya," Naruto began to say, walking along inconspicuously to not garner any suspicion, "Henceforth, you are my daughter, and you are to live under the circumstance that you have always been my daughter, thus making your name Anya Namikaze, is that understood?"
"Yes, understood sir!" Anya replied.
'All of a sudden things are going too well...' Naruto thought as he stared at Anya for a bit, "You will address me as 'Father', is that understood?"
"Yes, papa!" Anya exclaimed.
'Well... I did always call Lord Third and Lord Fifth by strange names... So I suppose it's fine...' Naruto pondered. "Very well, let's get back to my apartment."
-Naruto's Apartment(Half an Hour Later)-
'You know... Now that I think about it... It may have been a bad idea to become a spy... And to take this mission specifically...' Naruto thought as Anya ran up to the TV. "You can turn it on if you'd like... I don't watch much of it."
Anya moved to turn on the television, before turning it to a show regarding a spy known as Spy-Wars.
"It's my favorite show!" Anya exclaimed, pointing at the TV screen.
'Hmm... Even if this is bizarre... It would be beneficial for me to watch this show as well... To know what this child likes is to know how to raise her correctly...' Naruto thought, 'Then again... I've never been the best with children... Probably best for me to go collect the documents I need...'
Without warning, Naruto stood up before putting on a coat, only for Anya to run over and hug his leg, as if being able to read his mind and know his intentions.
"What the-" Naruto began to say, gently shaking his leg to try and shake Anya off of it. 'Could it be... Does she want to come along too? But how would she know about what I'm going to do...?' Naruto pondered, before squatting down in front of Anya.
"Listen, Anya, I'm going out for a bit, so..." Naruto began to say, gently petting Anya on the head, "Please behave yourself at home and watch your show, alright?"
"I wanna go on an adventure with papa!" Anya declared, still unwilling to let go.
Naruto sighed, before standing up again, "Fine... Come on then, let's get going."
-Marketplace(One Hour In)-
"This was a horrible idea..." Naruto mumbled to himself under his breath, looking on as Anya wandered around the market while he waited on a cup of coffee from the cafe. 'I don't get it... How do I even attempt to understand this girl...?'
Naruto looked over his shoulder, noticing the cup of coffee on the counter next to him as well as a slightly creased napkin. Looking around first, Naruto moved to retrieve the napkin before unraveling it, noticing the logo of the cafe and something else in the center.
'Hmmm...' Naruto thought, storing the napkin in his pocket before beginning to drink from the cup of coffee in his hand, right before Anya ran up to him.
"Papa! I want peanuts!" Anya exclaimed, giving a look of puppy-dog eyes for Naruto's sympathy.
'I am terrible with children...' Naruto pondered mentally as Anya began to look nervous, 'Perhaps there's still enough time for me to switch this child for another... She seems rather... Slow...'
Anya was taken aback from reading Naruto's mind as she began to tear up, right before she burst into full-on tears, garnering several confused stares from others.
"Waah! Please don't get rid of me!" Anya pleaded, grabbing tightly onto Naruto's right leg.
"What's gotten into you...?" Naruto asked, kneeling before Anya and holding onto her hand.
"Please! I promise I'm a good investment!" Anya cried out, continuing to cry out.
Naruto stared at Anya for a moment, thinking back to how he had been treated and ostracised for a good portion of his life, and how he had now been planning to impose a similar fate upon the girl.
Naruto sighed softly, he hated seeing children cry, especially since he had cried for the vast majority of his life.
"Hey, Anya..." Naruto began to say, holding up a packet of peanuts in front of Anya's face. "If you stop crying right now... I'll get you this packet of peanuts, how about it? Do we have a deal?"
Anya quickly stopped crying and sported a wide smile on her face.
"Deal!" Anya exclaimed before receiving the peanuts from Naruto.
'Although...' Naruto began to think, watching as Anya ran off into the distance again, 'Considering that, I too was a difficult growing up... Perhaps this investment of my time will well and truly be worth it... Even if my glory days are over, I'd still like to think that I was a worthwhile investment...'
After a bit of shopping had been completed, Anya ran up to the Naruto, the blond holding in his hand a large paper bag filled with a variety of different groceries.
"Yes?" Naruto asked, picking out several more groceries, "What is it, Anya?"
"Papa... I'm tired..." Anya murmured grogilly.
'Am I doing something wrong here...? Am I boring for her?' Naruto thought, believing that his mission was now at risk as he hurried to pick up the sleeping Anya with his free hand. 'This isn't going well... I'll need to achieve an understanding with this girl... Else the mission is doomed for sure...'
-Naruto's Apartment, Night-
"The fundamental thing to remember is that you are raising a person who will eventually go out into the wider world and interact with other people for the rest of their lives, so you have the potential of playing an important role in shaping how well-mannered your child will be..." Naruto read out, before tossing the book aside and reaching for the next one on the pile.
After he had placed the sleeping Anya into her bed earlier, Naruto had sent a clone to retrieve every book in the city that provided information regarding the nurturing of a child, which now occupied his time.
"It is important to be present for your child..." Naruto began to read out, "It is important to cultivate a sense of belonging within that child's life and personality, and for the assurance that they will have a prosperous future-"
Naruto stopped reading, before igniting the book with a fire jutsu and allowing it to burn to ash in his hand.
'This is pointless. The mission's already turning out to be a waste of time for everyone involved... And there will be no future for this so-called family of ours, she will be going back to another, hopefully, a better orphanage for all I am concerned...' Naruto pondered, before remembering what Kakashi had stated days earlier, 'Although... The world is changing... Maybe I should too...'
-The Next Day-
"I shall be leaving now, please study the chapters in this book that I have specifically marked out," Naruto began to say, placing the book on the table.
"But I wanna go out with papa!" Anya protested.
"Listen, Anya..." Naruto began to say after sighing, "You're gonna be staying here today, and that's final, alright?"
Anya reluctantly nodded, knowing that it had been no use arguing with Naruto and that he would catch her if she had tried to escape.
"Good, it seems we finally agree on something..." Naruto began to say, putting on a pair of gloves, "I'll be sure to get you a pack of peanuts when I come back."
"Really?!" Anya asked in excitement, jumping up and down giddily, "Pinky-promise?!"
"Uhh... Yeah, pinky-promise..." Naruto replied, wrapping his pinky around hers, "But, you have to promise me that you will behave, is that clear?"
"Yes sir!" Anya exclaimed, saluting before sitting down at the table and beginning to read from the book.
'Huh... Things seem to be looking up for me...' Naruto thought, before walking out and locking the door from the outside.
After walking for a bit outside of his apartment building and towards the market, Naruto came across a relatively empty corner with a newspaper stand there.
'Hmm... From Twilight's message on the napkin yesterday... This should be my informant...' Naruto thought as he looked toward the man running the stand, 'And if I'm not mistaken... Twilight told me to... Play a practical joke? Well... I'm game.'
Author's Notes 2: Yes, I am gonna leave it off here, since I do believe that this is a good point to leave off, sorry for the cliffhanger, everyone! The future of this story may be hazy, but I still hope everyone enjoyed this short introductory chapter!
Regardless, tell me what you guys thought about this chapter in the reviews down below! I'm eager to see what you guys have to say!