AN: Heyo!

So, I attempted to write an HP fanfic on Ao3 over a year ago, but then I lost interest and deleted it. I'm feeling more serious about writing this time, so I'm gonna give it another go! And this time, I'm cross-posting on here, and Wattpad!

Hope you enjoy it!

Synopsis: Trapped at Privet Drive for another Summer, Harry reflects on the last five years and comes to an unsettling realization.

It was a quiet summer night on Privet Drive. The streets could only be illuminated by the streetlights, as all the residents were sound asleep. This could not be said for Harry Potter, as he lay in his bed through yet another sleepless night. At first glance, all anyone in Surrey thought they knew about the boy was what his aunt, uncle, and cousin told them; that he was a delinquent, a menace to society, and most of all, a freak. All the boys screaming that could be heard from next door, and those who just so happened to be walking by, were believed to be the boy in the middle of one of his many outbursts.

Yes, the people of Surrey thought they knew the boy and his situation quite well. However, they couldn't be further from the truth.

The truth was that Harry Potter was a wizard. And he was a wizard who was suffering greatly.

Harry didn't think he could have a worse summer than the one he had the year before, but fate had once again proven him wrong. Sure, he was completely isolated for the majority of last summer, but at least he could look forward to seeing his friends again. And he had the hope that someday, he would be able to leave his relatives' house for the last time. He had hoped that would be the case when he first went to Hogwarts, but Headmaster Dumbledore had forced him to return during the summers. It wasn't until he met his godfather, Sirius Black, that such hope was reinvigorated. As his godfather, Sirius would have been able to take custody of Harry and give him the one thing he has always wanted: a home with a loving family.

But of course, like always, things had to be complicated when it came to the fulfillment of Harry's hopes and dreams. His godfather was wanted for crimes he did not commit, while the real perpetrator was still out there. Still, even amidst the uncertainty, Harry didn't lose hope. He knew that as long as his godfather still drew breath, then there was still a chance for them to be a family.

In the timespan of just a few days, however, all Harry's hopes were obliterated, with seemingly no way of coming back.

It all started when he and his friends from the Defense Association (also known as Dumbledore's Army) went to the Ministry of Wizarding Britain. It was in an effort to rescue Sirius, whom, thanks to a vision sent by the Dark Lord, Voldemort, Harry thought was in danger. They had snuck into the Hall of Prophecies, where Harry had seen Sirius being tortured, only for it to be a trap. They found a prophecy that seems to involve Harry and Voldemort in some way, then were cornered by Death Eaters led by Lucious Malfoy, who demanded the prophecy be handed over.

Harry, being the hero boy he was conditioned to be, refused. Thus the D.A. members and Death Eaters engaged in battle. They eventually came to the Death Chamber, where the Order of the Phoenix, including Sirius, came to aid the D.A. group. Dumbledore arrived shortly after. In the midst of the battle, Peter Pettigrew hit Sirius with an unknown spell and knocked him into the Veil. Harry tried to go after Sirius in an attempt to pull him out but was held back by Remus Lupin.

Harry couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. Sirius, his godfather, was dead, and all his hopes of getting away from his horrible relatives died with him.

As if the battle couldn't get any worse, he was possessed by Voldemort in an attempt to kill him. Voldemort and his followers then escaped, but not before being seen by the minister. This left the ministry no choice, but to acknowledge the return of Voldemort.

Things only got worse in the aftermath. Ron and Hermione abandoned him, telling him that he attracted too much danger and that it was best they go their separate ways. Then Dumbledore called him up to the head's office to reveal the contents of the prophecy, which was destroyed in the middle of the battle. Harry was angry, to say the least. It was all too much. All he wanted was a quiet, peaceful life filled with love. But now his godfather was dead, his best friends had abandoned him, and he was expected to be the one to defeat Voldemort once and for all. On top of all this, the headmaster told Harry that he was to remain with his relatives until the beginning of his sixth year. According to Dumbledore, there are blood wards that were activated by his mother's sacrifice at the Dursley house made to protect him, and it was too dangerous for Harry to go anywhere else until he could be safe at Hogwarts. The headmaster also told Harry that it would be too dangerous for him to ride the Hogwarts Express with his remaining friends. The headmaster backed his argument with the fact that there would be many Death Eater children who would attack him, and not enough adults who would protect him on board. So, Harry was expected to wait until a professor (likely Snape, knowing his luck) came to apparate him to the castle. Harry tried to argue, but Dumbledore insisted that his relatives' house was the safest place for him.

The safest place? As if! His relatives have hated him for as long as he could remember. Vernon made that clear with every punch, kick, and belt whip to his frail body. Petunia and Vernon both made it clear by forcing him to do all the chores, denying him the proper amounts of food, making him sleep in a cupboard for the first eleven years of his life, and reminding the boy constantly that he is not a part of the family, never will be, and will never be loved. Dudley made it clear with all his and his friends' games of Harry Hunting and scaring away any kids who dared approach Harry in hopes of being friends with him.

This summer was especially worse, and not just because of Dumbledore cutting him off, his friends' abandonment, or his grief. Vernon was extra hard and sadistic in his beatings. He still blamed Harry for what happened to Dudley the summer before. Petunia had taken to slapping the boy, which she had never done before.

Dudley, however, seemed to have changed for the better. He lost weight, he wasn't hanging out with his friends as much as he did before, and he no longer participated in the abuse. That near-death experience with the dementor must have been a wake-up call for him.

Even so, Harry was still suffering at the hands of his aunt and uncle. Dumbledore just doesn't understand the horrors he has to endure during the summers.

Or… does he?

Not too long ago, Harry would have thought himself truly insane to make such an accusation. But with how little he slept due to the nightmares that plagued his mind, all he could do lately was think.

As he thought, he realized that Dumbledore was setting him up, and had been for a long time. And he wasn't working alone. He came to this realization by thinking back on his life; more specifically all aspects of it in which Dumbledore was involved, or felt the need to involve himself.

His first thought went back to Hagrid. Now, Harry definitely saw a friend in him, but he wasn't blind to his poor judgment and his worshipping of the headmaster. But at the time Hagrid came to bring harry into the Wizarding World, he was still only the groundskeeper for Hogwarts. Why send Hagrid to do what a professor would be more qualified for? Harry got his answer when he thought about how Hagrid talked about certain things; how he praised Dumbledore for being such a paragon of all that is good and light and Gryffindor for producing good, light wizards and witches, while he condemned Slytherin for being a house that produced nothing but darkness and evil. Since the headmaster knew Harry's role in the prophecy, it made sense why he would want a person with such biases to bring the chosen one into their world.

It was unfair when he thought about it now. He used to think the same things until the night he learned that it was Pettigrew, not Sirius, who sold out his parents to Voldemort, resulting in their murders. Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, and they were portrayed as the good guys. Harry had also met Andromeda Tonks (maiden name Black), a Slytherin who actually went on to marry a Hufflepuff, and become a decent member of wizarding society. These encounters helped Harry realize that the biases regarding the two houses ought to be taken with a grain of salt.

In addition, Hagrid failed to give Harry a crucial detail: how to access Platform 9 ¾. This led Harry's train of thought to the Weasleys.

Why would the Weasleys have been on the muggle side of the platform that day? And why was Mrs. Weasley being so loud and shouting about things she shouldn't in a place heavily populated by muggles? The only explanation was that she had to have known that Harry would be there beforehand. The Weasleys were seen as an all-around light family, so it was likely that Dumbledore told Mrs. Weasley to access the platform from the muggle side and somehow get Harry's attention. This way, the chosen one would integrate himself into Dumbledore's perfect idea of a good, light family.

Harry desperately wanted to believe that while Mrs. Weasley may have been there under the headmaster's orders, she wanted to get his attention so that she could help him out of the goodness of her heart. But he also knew that she was quite the avid Dumbledore supporter.

Harry's train of thought went to a more devastating place. If his first meeting with the Weasleys was a setup, then his friendships with Ron and the other Weasleys may have been, as well.

He found that he didn't care so much about Ron since the prat had abandoned him. He didn't care as much about Ginny either, since they were never really close. He definitely didn't care about Percy since he sided with the ministry against him and the rest of his own family. No, what really broke his heart was to think that his friendships with Charlie and the twins may not have been genuine on their ends.

Fred and George were the first to know just how badly Harry's relatives abused him. They accidentally saw the scars and bruises that marred his body in the locker room after a Quidditch match. Since then, the twins would send him food and potions during the summers when he was with his relatives and help him recover from the summers when they were at Hogwarts for their schooling. When Ron turned against Harry after his name came out of the Goblet of Fire, the twins stood by him, knowing he didn't want to participate in the Tri-Wizard Tournament as opposed to finally having a calm, peaceful year.

This summer, Harry had yet to receive any food or potions from the twins, which was strange. They had their own flat over their joke shop, so it wasn't like their mother could prevent them from sending things per Dumbledore's orders.

And then, there was Charlie. The older Weasley boy was a few years older than Harry. Charlie was a 5th Year when Harry first went to Hogwarts. But despite the years between them, and Charlie having to juggle prefect duties and O.W.L. prep, they managed to stay close. Harry had developed a crush on Charlie in his third year. And honestly, how could he not? Charlie had grown taller and had gained quite a lot of muscle. Clearly, he had been training hard for his future dragon handling.

Harry's crush on Charlie never went anywhere. For one thing, Charlie was in his 7th year at the time, meaning he would be graduating from Hogwarts and moving to Romania to work at a dragon reserve. Two, Harry was underage, and three, he was afraid of what would happen if he shared his feelings with the older boy. Harry's relatives beat it into his mind that he neither would nor could ever be loved in such a way. Still, he was happy just to have Charlie as a friend.

But, of course, fate couldn't be too kind to Harry where friendships were concerned. While they exchanged letters and packages, they never saw much of each other in person. In fact, the last time they had seen each other was after the first task of the Triwizard Tournament. Charlie had grown even stronger from his time in Romania, and it showed in how well he handled the dragons that were used in the task.

Charlie didn't even come to visit over Christmas. In the letters, he explained it was because of his mother's attitude towards his aspirations of being a dragon handler. Charlie also shared that he came into a late Draken inheritance (which would be another explanation for the height and muscle growth), and wished to keep that a secret due to the majority of Wizarding Britain, including some of his own family, being against creatures.

Harry was shocked at the time this was revealed, as he had always seen Mrs. Weasley as a supportive mother, in spite of being a bit overbearing. Now, however, he wasn't so sure.

Harry brought his thoughts back to Dumbledore. More specifically all the things the headmaster allowed to happen at Hogwarts since he's been a student.

Harry thought back to his first year. He immediately remembered the warning Dumbledore gave about the forbidden corridor on the third floor, which seemed more like an invitation in retrospect. Seriously, how can you not expect a bunch of curious preteens and teenagers to disregard such a warning and see what all the fuss is about for themselves? Clearly, Dumbledore was trying to ignite Harry's curiosity. And it worked, since he, Ron, and Hermione ended up going to the corridor to retrieve the Philosopher's Stone.

Then there was his second year. The Chamber of Secrets had been opened, courtesy of the heir of Slytherin, who was revealed to be some form of a young Tom Riddle. It was clear that the diary that Riddle came from was a very dark artifact. Wouldn't Hogwarts have wards that detect such a thing? And wouldn't Dumbledore know if that were the case? Surely he would, but he didn't do anything. The headmaster must have allowed the diary into Hogwarts, hoping Harry would come across it and find out what exactly it course, Harry did eventually encounter the diary, after learning that it possessed Ginny into opening the chamber. Riddle then sicked his pet basilisk on him, but he managed to slay it and destroy the diary in the end.

Once Harry had gathered his thoughts on his first two years at Hogwarts, it became clear that Dumbledore had been testing him and trying to mold him into the hero he thought he should be.

Harry's thoughts moved on to his third year when he thought Sirius was out to kill him. Dumbledore had agreed to have dementors stationed at Hogwarts in case Sirius ever made it into the castle. While dementors were overkill, to say the least, Harry thought that Dumbledore was simply trying to protect him, at the time. But now, he realized that it may have been more about keeping his chosen one under control.

This realization led Harry to suspect that Dumbledore knew that Sirius was his godfather and that Pettigrew was the traitor and was living as the Weasleys' pet rat for the thirteen years between going into hiding and when the truth was revealed. Dumbledore likely feared that as Harry's godfather, if proven innocent, Sirius would have been able to take the boy under his roof. And since Dumbledore thought that Harry remaining with the Dursleys during the summer was essential to his plans, he wouldn't have wanted Sirius to contest that. So, Dumbledore must have had the dementors stationed at Hogwarts hoping they would kiss Sirius before they even met.

Thankfully things didn't go that way. Although Sirius was kissed, Harry and Hermione were able to use a time turner to save him. Unfortunately, Pettigrew got away, which meant Sirius couldn't be proven innocent and Harry had to return to the Dursleys for the summer. Looking back, he was sure that Dumbledore was quite pleased with that outcome.

The next stop for Harry's train of thought was his fourth year; the year he was entered into a deadly tournament against his will. Again, he felt that Hogwarts would have had wards to detect Barty Crouch Jr. disguised as Moody via Polyjuice potion and that Dumbledore would have known as a result. He also felt that Dumbledore should've somehow been able to get Harry out of the tournament, but he didn't. This made it clear that Dumbledore knew that Voldemort was the mastermind behind Harry's name coming out of the Goblet of Fire, and therefore, needed Harry to participate in the tournament and find out what was happening.

Finally, Harry's thoughts came to the last year. Dumbledore completely cut him off from the Wizarding World last summer. And, of course, the headmaster swooped in to be the big hero and defend him in his trial for using magic as a minor and doing so in front of Dudley. Other than that, Dumbledore ignored Harry for nearly the entire year, which was strange, as it seemed counterproductive to keeping control over him. Harry's biggest problem in the last year was Umbridge, but Dumbledore didn't really have a choice in letting her on staff, so he couldn't be blamed for that. He also couldn't be blamed for avoiding Harry, as he and Voldemort's mind connection worked both ways. The boy figured that if he could see what Voldemort was up to, then it was vice versa, as well. Dumbledore most likely knew and avoided Harry to avoid the risk of leaking any important information to Voldemort.

What Dumbledore could be blamed for, however, was Sirius' death.

Or, at least, partially blamed. Harry knows he made a mistake in going to the ministry that night, but he was sure Dumbledore took advantage of it when he heard what was going on. The headmaster had to have known the situation at the ministry was life-threatening. He also wanted Sirius out of the way so that he couldn't threaten the Dursley's custody of Harry, or influence him in any other ways. It would make sense that the only time he would allow Sirius to leave Grimmauld Place was if it could potentially lead to his death.

And it did.

And now, Harry is stuck on Privet Drive, feeling more alone and abandoned than ever.

Even after coming to these realizations, he feels like he still has no choice but to trust Dumbledore. After all, he only did those things in an effort to save their world, right?

Then again, Harry has only been acting against Voldemort based on what Dumbledore and any other Dumbledore fanatic told him. So, did he really know what he was fighting for and against?

Honestly, he didn't know.

But what he did know was that Voldemort was out for his blood. So, he could only hope that Dumbledore would finally give him the tools he would need to stand a chance against the snake-faced bastard and that he would survive the coming war.

Even so, what would he do then? His friends abandoned him, Sirius is dead, and Charlie has most likely found his mate by now. He wasn't sure he had anything worth living for on the other side.

AN: Chapter 2 is in the works. I will try to get it out within the next week.

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