Subaru Natsuki was sitting on the floor of his luxurious bedroom in the Roswaal mansion.
His head hurt due to both keeping his head on the bed frame of his bed and his internal thoughts.
Nostalgia passes through his mind. A foggy one.
Subaru didn't have his usual charming demeanour, which usually makes everyone smile.
His face was quite serious. And seriously he was trying to clear the mist of his mind. His eyes shut close.
The smoke flies away, to reveal the face of an elderly woman. Subaru immediately recognized her. It was his grandma.
The candles of the room were out.
The room Subaru is staying in is dark except for the light of the moon which passes through the large window, which opens to a balcony.
But Subaru could see a bright light. A pink cherry blossom petal flew by in front of his face. Then his Grandma went forward and grabbed something.
Well, something turned out to be someone, Subaru instantly recognized.
It was his younger self, being carried on his Grandma's shoulders. He was around 4-6 years old at that time.
His grandma goes toward two figures, they were Subaru's parents. And they all stood together near the cherry blossom trees. Unusually still.
'Click'
The shutter of a camera goes off. Reveals that a group photo was being taken.
Subaru recognizes the scene before. It was similar to one of the photos which were framed in his house. All Natsuki's photos are kept on a shoe shelf, near the entrance of the house. where Subaru remembers seeing it for the last time before he went to the supermarket which eventually led him to wherever he is right now.
Subaru couldn't help but smile to himself. It wasn't a wide smile where he exposes his teeth or wasn't a smile that was usually followed by laughter.
It was just a faint smile that was barely visible and was quite such that it didn't distort the sounds of the northern winds banging on the window next to him.
Memories of Subaru and his grandma play in his fragile mind of his:
The time Subaru learned to cycle-
"Subaru be careful! you might fall."
Little Subaru falls and ends up crying.
It reminded the older Subaru, how his way of crying still hasn't changed, which still reminded him about his pathetic self.
The time they went out to the nearby park-
little Subaru and his grandma walk by a lake filled with fish. Finally, they sat on a bench where his grandma would feed the birds daily. It was little Subaru's first time.
"Subaru, those are ducks." as she points her finger toward a flock of ducks.
"Duck? Duck Duck"
His grandma throws the bird food onto the ground. The flock marches its way towards the spread of food.
Little Subaru counts the ducks to find a little yellow duckling. The duckling was different compared from the other ducks. His eyes glow. Little Subaru wanted to touch it but only frightened it.
"Subaru comes here, take this and wait for the duckling to come." as she hands him a handful of bird feed.
Little Subaru waits, his patience pays off when he sees the duckling coming out of a bush.
He places his hands close to the ground, which makes the duckling rush to him.
Finally, Little Subaru could touch the duckling.
Little Subaru is grinning with joy, and so is the older Subaru. It was the first time Subaru understood the beauty of life.
Subaru opens up his eyes and looks up, to be greeted by the beautifully crafted ceiling. He turns his head towards the window. It was still dark except for the moon, which was still with him while the morning skies were not.
The silver moon nights remind Subaru of Emilia.
In the same way, the morning blue skies remind him of Rem.
After defeating Gluttony, Rem treated Subaru differently. Trying her best to avoid her 'hero'.
With Rem avoiding him, Subaru felt like he couldn't face Rem anymore. Subaru felt awful for rejecting her. He never knew this would happen.
He always wanted Rem to end up someone worthy of her. He did not want to sever the relationship they had, even though it was complicated.
There were times Subaru wanted to give up. Without Rem and her supportive talk, he truly was at his lowest.
Subaru tries to find solace in himself. Not wanting to stress Emilia, especially with the election coming to an end soon.
Subaru never understood why Emilia had to become the queen of Lugnica to fulfil her noble cause.
Even though Emilia's noble wish made Subaru fall for her more. A sense of selflessness.
Even if Emilia becomes the queen, people will continue to hate her as a half-elf. There will be plots and schemes against her. There will be people who will take advantage of her.
Subaru slaps himself at the idea of him questioning Emilia. It was his duty as Emilia's knight to protect her after all.
Subaru shuts his eyes, once more. He again sees his past. This time it was different. It was highly saturated, implying a change of mood _ a sad one.
Sobs and cries could be heard in the background. There were a lot of people present, all wearing black suits and dresses.
They were present in a room that was filled with colourful flowers. 'All so pretty', think little Subaru. He lets go of his devastated mother's hand and runs towards the beautiful flower decorations ignoring the other people.
"One flower for mommy. One flower for daddy.", as little Subaru plucks two flowers. He notices a picture frame…
The older Subaru tenses up. His hand is clenched, whilst his eyes are quenched by the slowly collected tears.
He could not do much but look over the smaller version of himself.
The little Subaru grabs one more flower after seeing the photo frame. He almost forgot to bring one for someone else.
"Finally one for granny." as little Subaru returns to his parents happily. Naoko Natsuki couldn't hold it any longer as she fell to her knees to hug the little Subaru. To comfort him and herself. They were met with pitiful eyes.
The younger Subaru couldn't comprehend what was going on. It wasn't his fault. He was just oblivious to the idea of 'Death'.
While the older Subaru has grown accustomed to death. Death wasn't any mere stranger for him anymore. Death is a long-known acquaintance to him. Almost like a backstabbing brother. Pain… both physically… and mentally…
The little Subaru couldn't understand why he couldn't meet his grandma.
While the older Subaru just couldn't understand
… Everything.
He never understood everything he did, yet he got nothing in return.
except for their smiles… it was all worth it for him. Truly fit for the title of 'Selfish Hero'.
If only their smiles could answer Subaru's curiosity. Maybe just maybe a way to reach his happy ending...
"Till death do us part." Subaru was surprised to hear this.
They were wedding vows.
As Subaru finds himself with crossed arms over his body, arms that did not belong to him. It wasn't any dream or a flash black.
He immediately got up to see a cloaked figure. He was pretty sure it belonged to a certain witch.
He couldn't see her, eye to eye. It was fear or just anger. However, underneath it, all was just sadness. After all, Subaru Natsuki was a man who wanted to save others, and he had promised her to do the same. Yet he didn't know what to do. He never got to know what this certain witch wanted… who did she want to be saved from…
For she could talk only about her love for her 'hero'.
He never got a chance to ask a question to the witch who was still holding on to him. A question that was lingering in his mind since the dawn when he directly confronted the witch.
Deciding it's now or never, Subaru opens his mouth.
"Why do you love me?"
Subaru Natsuki wants to know why he was loved by a person he never met before in his life. For all, he remembered he never met someone like the witch, who is currently hugging him from behind…
…The witch of envy…
… Satella…
"Well, my eyes meet yours…"
"Huh" was the only response Subaru could think of.
"Isn't it a good enough reason to fall in love?"
Subaru was left dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say. He always loved Emilia, since he first met her. But at that time he only admired her beauty, which he considered to be a shallow reason.
Well more reasons followed, while time passed by. How she is a good-hearted friend, how she had saved him several times during his mental meltdowns. Well not anymore as Emilia still hasn't found time to spend with her knight.
"I will make sure to make time for you always Subaru Kun.." the witch comforts Subaru as she strokes his hair with one of her hands. Bringing the back of Subaru's head onto her chest.
Satella was always envious of Emilia. How she wanted to trap Emilia and pretend to be Emilia for Subaru to love her… just like how she loved him…
Yet she was a person who believed in a mutual relationship where she could be loved for being Satella, not Emilia.
Subaru was once again contemplating his life and existence. After going to the watchtower and finishing Gluttony, he has second thoughts about leaving Shaula on the watchtower. Even though he promised that he will visit her again.
" So you want to know about Flugel?"
"Well yea, I wonder why Shaula keeps calling me the great sage.." Subaru blurts it out without realising who he was talking to.
"Subaru kun, let's go on a date together."
Those were words Subaru didn't hear from Emilia for a long time… until it dawned upon him that Emilia and Satella have the same voice.
Hence Subaru decides to accept the date.
So ya hello ppl who were kind enough to read this. Well, my grammar isn't exactly the best out there, so do expect some errors, especially with punctuation.
Well, my current plan is to finish the prologue in two chapters and start the main story.
Also, I would like you guys to tell me what is the best Otto ship out there. Best bro needs love …